..... years ago when I was just a child, I once found a terrapin lumbering across the lawn......
..... our home was a mere blip of civilization in thousands of acres of woodland, but my brother and I still sparkled with glee each time some wandering woodsy creature would make its way onto our Little Domain..... but this little terrapin was different......
.... we'd caught mud turtles, snapping turtles, and terrapins for years before we ever came across one like this little fellow.... and unlike his predecessors, he was easy to catch..... he moved slowly as he crossed the lawn....... I watched him as he exited the brush, crossed the road, and ambled under the cross-tie fence that my dad had put up years before that marked the border of our property...
..... my brother and I raced each other to see which would snatch him up first.... I remember looking back at my dad as he eyed us from his squatted position in the flower bed where he was spending his weekend grooming it for planting..... He was away from home all week working on the railroad, but when he was home on the weekends his focus was on house, lawn, and two stringy sons..... and mom, when we were outside playing.....
... my little brother caught the beast first, and he ran to me as hard as he could to show me his prize....
..... instead of closing up, like most tortoises do, this one lagged and sagged....... and even in the jangling hands of my spastic little brother, the little reptile never withdrew into its shell...... and after a few moments, my brother smelled the stench and sat the little box tortoise down by the edge of the house where the water hose connected........
..... it was only after a close inspection that I realized that the poor tortoise had a crack in the center of its shell..... and worse, there was a steady stream of piss ants making their way up and down his legs and back and then disappearing back down into the inky crater in his shell...... I was horrified...... the ants were actually living in the space between the reptile's body and its shell..... I cried for my father to come and help the poor thing, and he came to me as quick as he could..... he, too, stood there for many minutes not believing what he was seeing...... he was mesmerized and dejectedly sickened by what he was seeing..... I watched as this man who had been in War took pity on the poor creature......
..... my father snatched me up by the arm and told me to run inside and fetch the peroxide that mom kept under the bathroom cabinet.... and I did as I was told....... and as soon as I returned, he coaxed the bottle from my traumatized hands and dribbled some of the liquid into the hole in the back of the tortoise's shell....
..... the entire scene then erupted in chaos and horror...... as he held the little beast in his hand and applied the medicine, it stretched out its neck and clawed the air with its hang nailed feet........ it wanted to get away, but he held it firmly aloft..... and another pour.... and another..... and soon the ants were piling out of the cracked crevice with little while balls clamped in their jaws....... their babies....... the eggs of the ants yet to come....... they were abandoning their movable feast and seeking to survive themselves......
..... you will not believe me when I say this, but it is true....... that tortoise stayed in my front yard for three days and never moved more than two feet from the space where my father sat it down... on the morning of the fourth day, we found that it was gone...... and we spent a lot of time that year wondering if it had recovered, if it was happy, and if it appreciated what our dad had done for it.........
.... in the years that have followed, I have begun to feel more and more like that little tortoise that my brother and I found in the lawn on that long ago summer day.....
..... we all have those things that are eating at us..... figuratively or literally....... and we all need someone to step in and take care of us from time to time........ me?....... I probably need a little bit of both........ as for the blog, which has lasted almost 9 years now, I feel that it is limping along...... and it may limp for some time to come........ in a way, I think I lost the heart to blog about sunrises, sunsets, and fancy meals when The Missus was diagnosed with cancer two years ago next month......... and I found that the color of the World changed from vibrant to grey when reality set in........ the birds singing their songs didn't sound the same...... sunlight on my face and coffee on my tongue were equally repellant........
..... and this month sees me in University for the second year in a row......... Art Appreciation, no less......... hey, who would have thought that I would be writing an essay tomorrow entitled "What Is Art?"......
.... for, what is art, indeed........ is a blog art?.... is a life art?...... is love art?....... what is art, indeed........ perhaps a broken terrapin?...... fuck, I am so screwed when I finish this essay tomorrow.........
SWG... Your words bring pictures. Surely writing is art. I too, am on blog hiatus, With me, it seems that being happy, mark that content, seems to preclude my personal need to write. This story reminded me of a Spescial moment.
I took my young Bride back home to Tucson to visit the Sar'Major in his waning days when he was 90.....
After flirting with her...heh, he never lost that, he said,"Come with me, young Lady. I want to show you something."
We proceeded to the back yard, he whistled as well Ashe could, and whispered,"Shhh....watch."
Five minutes we waited, and then, from under one of the garden sheds , emerged a huge old Tortoise. Dad said,"Pick him up, Wollf, he's the one you raised!"
Sure enough, that Totoise had a "D'S" carved on his shell. I had found two eggs in the desert when I was nine years old. The Old Man had taught me about incubating, they hatched, I fed and cared for them like my own.
And there he was, almost Fifty years old, meeting my young Wife.......
I hope that your Box Turtle is doing as well.
Good to have met you, my invisible Jarhead Friend.......
There is a place about 20 minutes from us, where they take ocean dwelling turtles if they've been hit by a boat or gotten severely injured in some way. All of us mothers take our children there from the time they are toddlers, schools take field trips, and teenagers do their volunteer service hours. I just call it, 'The Turtle Hospital'. Big tanks are in the back where each has its own, even the tiniest, the size of the palm of your hand at times.
It's educational. I don't do any blogging on the philanthorpies my husband and I support, but that is one. We go every year to a big gala at The Turtle Hospital and we take a tour and talk to the guides. It is never enough information.
There is an orthodontist in town that works with them now and he has developed these braces that they can put on the back of these cracked/damaged shells to help pull the shells together as the scar tissues rises up to heal it. It is absolutely fascinating and I'm always in awe that a man, minding his own business, was taking the tour one day and thought, 'I think I can help these creatures'.
Turtles have an amazing pull on our hearts. It's crazy isn't it? I don't know what it is, but I have Turtle art hanging on my back porch, I collect these stuffed turtles, and there is just... a draw.
And your post was about life and art, but I felt compelled to put about the braces for closing shells. I just find it fascinating.
I hope you post your essay. It's always interesting to see your take on things, vibrant or grey. Maybe love itself isn't art, but how you write about it is. I think there are not many people in this world who have been blessed enough to be loved as you write of your love for your wife.
Your writing may be less frequent these days - who really blogs anymore, anyway? - but I keep dropping by for the occasional gem. Like this post.
Is writing art? Is that a rhetorical question? Of course it is. Ask Robert W. Service, or Robert Frost, or Neil Gaiman... or Shakespeare.
And are we sometimes weighted down with worry about our health, our loved ones, and the million slings and arrows that are always aimed at us in this life? Sure we are. Sometimes that burden makes it more difficult to write (what's the point of it all?), but writing can also be a means of catharsis. Do what feels right to you, and know that your writing - frequent or rare - has its admirers.
Hell raised by Elisson on January 30, 2013 09:27 AM
Hey I love reading you you paint pictures with your words. I picked up a snapping turtle one day like to got one of my kindergarten bit. Turned him lose. Ialso likednthe way you linked to rb good luck on your paper. I sure it will be good. Or should I say great.
Hell raised by Georgia on January 30, 2013 12:00 PM
.... 9 years ago today...... 9 years ago I wrote my very first, virginal, snow-white blog post........ 9 years ago.... when 99.9% of the population thought that a "blog" was probably some sort of European toilet......
... heh.... and after 9 years?..... in a time where nearly everyone you know has a blog?....... those uneducated technophobes back in 2003 weren't too far off in their definition of blogs....
... that said, I have loved every minute of it.... and I have met - and continue to meet some truly amazing people..... many of whom I now consider my very good friends... and, of course, I now host an annual October blogmeet AT.MY.HOUSE...... good lord, what a strange and wonderful world we live in.......
My blogging career began somewhat later than yours, but it has been a blast. Now that Facebook, Twitter, and the merchandisers have sucked the life out of blogging, I guess it remains us Hardcore True Believers who remember the original vision: throw some shit up on the Internet-Wall and see if any of it sticks...
Hell raised by Elisson on September 11, 2012 01:16 PM
.... what an amazing ride it has been so far........ I cannot wait to see what the future holds....
Hell raised by Eric on September 11, 2012 07:39 PM
Hey congratulation on nine years. Lookforward to seeingyou soon.
Hell raised by georgia on September 12, 2012 11:03 AM
Good on ya. I got remarried, and have taken a much needed hiatus, myself. Often visit, seldom comment, Congrats.
Hell raised by Wollf on September 12, 2012 04:14 PM
Looking forward to the next nine years. Congrats!
Hell raised by Jerry in Texas on September 12, 2012 11:34 PM
Been reading for not quite that long and commenting for a bit less. As I recall I wandered over here from the Acid Man's place one day and stayed around to hear what you had to say.
Hell raised by Rey B on September 13, 2012 10:09 AM
.... well, I just watched a bunch of guys in a desert kiss the corpse of Gene Hackman..... "March or Die" just finished, and it was - as usual, awesome...... and it does happen to have the best final line of any movie I have ever watched....... the quote?....
.... I'm adlibbing, but here it is......
"Some of you will try to quit.... Some of you will try to run..... I warn you, none of them has succeeded.... If The Legion doesn't get you, then the desert will..... When the desert doesn't get you, the Arabs will...... and when the Arabs don't catch you...... I will....... and I don't know which is worse....."
..... if you haven't seen the movie, I highly recommend it.....
.... in other news, I'd like to thank the collective crew of Crazies who attended this weekend's blogmeet...... I swear, I had THE BEST time...... and I am already counting down the days until next year's Gathering.......
I enjoy these things more every year. Maybe that's because, after all these years, we're not so much a random assemblage of bloggers, but a true group of friends. A Band of Brothers (and Sisters), if you will.
And it's always a pleasure to spend time with you and the lovely Fiona.
The hospitality, the good food and drink, the warmth of friendship and fire... them's all gravy. Thanks again for having us!
Hell raised by Elisson on November 2, 2011 10:16 AM
I concur with everything Elisson said. Nothing beats spending a weekend with such terrific peeps, and it's a real honor to be invited year after year. Thanks so much.
"[A]fter all these years, we're not so much a random assemblage of bloggers, but a true group of friends. A Band of Brothers (and Sisters), if you will."
Exactly.
Thanks.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on November 4, 2011 03:41 AM
.... and so, it begins....... the 6th annual Hysterics at Eric's is officially underway....
..... if the parties who are partying consent, perhaps I will use my stickam account to live stream some of the festivities.... hey, that'd be something new, eh?..... besides, how many blogmeets have a live webcam for webby voyeurs to spy on from afar?.....
.... if the Elderly Brothers start a concert, we might just go live........
... and speaking of the Elderly Brothers, go here for a seriously good laugh (for all of you Shakespearianly challenged brothers and sisters.)
I don't know who thought of that, but they are cranially blessed, and otherwise well endowed!
Brilliant!
A live web concert, from H@E would be historical! Do it!
Or even Skype?
Hell raised by marcus on October 28, 2011 08:44 AM
... yes, sir, Marcus.... you had a great idea!.... now, just as long as I get permission from the folks that show up, we might broadcast a little......
..... you know, it amazes me that in two days I will have nearly 20 bloggers roaming around The Compound, sipping drinks, and eating ribs..... good grief, I can't wait!.....
..... The World is one Strange Place, rubberneckers.....
Hell raised by Teresa on October 26, 2011 10:04 PM
I'm getting ready to strap on that Rib Bib. Yowza!
Hell raised by Elisson on October 27, 2011 10:00 AM
Now I know where and why most of the blogosphere routinely checks out about this time of year... It's all your fault.
Hell raised by diamond dave on October 27, 2011 10:59 AM
*SIGH*
I'm sitting here at work thinking about how I ought to be crossing into Mississippi right now heading for an overnight in Birmingham before pushing on to TN early tomorrow...
Hope y'all have a great time! I'll get up there next year!!
Hell raised by El Capitan on October 27, 2011 02:48 PM
Maybe not most of the blogosphere, Dave... just the interesting part.
Hell raised by Elisson on October 27, 2011 03:19 PM
It should be mandatory that all attending bloggers post multiple photos after the event.
.... after a weekend spent with Steve and his Wife in Middle Tennessee, I offer this humble video...... and say to Steve, eh?......what trouble?.......
... rock on, big man....... we have the medals, the tee-shirts, and the bumps and bruises..... and those are commemoration enough.......
Figured all that pool shooting and G&T'ing would have DNQ'd you.
I, for one, am very proud. Nice job.
Hell raised by Andy on September 20, 2011 02:01 PM
Not only did Eric finish, despite having suffered a sprained ankle the previous week - he managed to get through all of the obstacles, some of which must have been fearsomely difficult with a gimpy foot. I'll tell, ya, I was impressed.
Hell raised by Elisson on September 21, 2011 10:26 AM
You two looked very manly and barbaric in your horned headgear! Congrats on finishing in great style!
Hell raised by Mary on September 24, 2011 09:14 PM
You get through all of the obstacles with a gimpy foot OK
Congrats on that, I'll flake out after 3 yards, promise
But I see no move of comming bowling with me
I asked you to come play with me here
http://keeskennis.blogspot.com/2011/08/i-win-or-not-meme.html
I do believe you are not sexy enough
Hell raised by keeskennis on September 26, 2011 06:23 PM
Hey, where you at?
Did that little romp kick your ass? Fingers broke?
Hell raised by marcus on September 29, 2011 09:59 PM
.... eight years ago today, I started this blog..... and man, what a ride it has been.... come to think of it, I attended my first blogmeet just a little over a month after beginning.... and since then I've never looked back.... now?.... hell, I HOST an annual blogmeet at MY HOUSE!.....
Yeah......but, it's one of the better kinds of Crazy.
Hell raised by kdzu on September 11, 2011 05:05 PM
.... you guys are awesome...... heh, I never EVER would have thought that anyone would think of visiting my Home as a life goal........ you guys humble me, truly.......... and you are both welcome....
Hell raised by Eric on September 11, 2011 08:48 PM
Good grief! I'm late... again! But only one day. A happy day it was indeed when you sat down at the keyboard and started typing. May you have many more years of most excellent wordage. :-)
Hell raised by Teresa on September 11, 2011 09:57 PM
..... well, I'm not dead..... the tornados didn't blow me away - although they did give it the ole College boy effort..... the Sun hasn't fried me...... and the rain hasn't washed me away....... sure, I'm a bit soggy, but otherwise unscathed...... as for the blog, well, honestly I just haven't felt like saying anything to anyone for quite a while..... after all, I've been at this little endeavor for going on eight years now...... and the way that I figure it, I've pretty much earned the right to sull up and play possum once in a while.....
.... anyway, I'm still around...... I'm just quiet...... trust me, it is not you.... it is me......
.... in completely unrelated news, I have enjoyed having my Father in Law in town for the past few weeks.... so far we have managed to sample the wares of nearly ALL of the nearby 27 restaurants with the least inedible food with nary a stomach cramp - to date - reported.... which is actually a much better show than when I dine on my own, so perhaps he is Good Luck....
... oh, and before I forget, get thee forth and read BST's latest..... I swear, the boy just ain't right...... but I do happen to agree with most of his list.....
... as for me, I'm off to shoot some pool and let a few waves of Dean Martin wash over my bare, tender soul......
... and with, I am off..... I do hope you are all faring well.....
Well, good to know you are unscathed by the recent weather rampage! It's like Mother Nature is out to get a decent portion of the country for some reason or other.
Now - 27? That's a lot of restaurants! Wow. Bet it was tasty though.
I can never comment of BST's, but next time we go to your home, I'm bringing an etch a sketch because I want to see these mad skillz. Also... I need to work with my boys and see if we can create a jello gun. It's got to be like a pop gun. Hmm...
..... "I ain't never seen'em..... but my common sense tells me the Andes is foothills!..... and the Alps is for children to climb!....... take good care of your hair!...... these here is God's finest sculpturings... there ain't no laws for the brave ones..... and there ain't no asylums for the crazy ones.... and there ain't no churches - except fer this right here.... ".....
..... there is nothing like humping a ruck up into the mountains, camping, watching the snow fall, eating heartily..... and being absolutely comfortable the entire time.......
.... if you can't leave home - regardless of the weather - and be comfortable in the wilds, well, then you need to brush up on your skills....... because, really, you never know when you are going to need them.........
..... snow is a part of nature, folks........ and freezing weather is just a part of life........ I LOVE it......
.... I found this from a few years ago, and thought I'd put it up again just for giggles....... have a happy and safe New Year, rubberneckers!....
... orignally posted January 9th, 2007....
… Hoosierboy asks a very good question over at his blog… I read his answers with great enjoyment…. He simply asked, “who are you?”, and began to answer….. so I will give it a try myself....
… hello….
… I am Eric…. I am 34 years old…. I was born on a Saturday morning in October at Bradley Memorial Hospital in Cleveland, Tennessee… I have been told that my maternal grandparents were in attendance in the waiting room and that they lit cigars when the nurse told them I’d arrived at 2am…. the idea of them doing that makes me very happy for some odd reason…
… I was born without any hair on my head… but I began sprouting wispy red locks as I crawled slowly towards toddlerdom…. and by the time I started kindergarten I had a huge shock of Vivaldian hair….. since I was semi-bald during my young years, my parents developed a phobia of sorts…. In retrospect – after having heard their stories – I call it Sampsonophobia….. once my hair started growing, they were afraid to get it cut lest I remain like a cue-ball for the rest of my days…. thus, I entered into my first scholastic endeavor in need of a ponytail-clasp…
… fortunately, time and circumstance cured them from their phobia and I finally got a decent haircut just in time for the 70s fads of gigantically collared shirts and horrible, polyester plaid pants….
… nowadays, well, it has ceased to be so shockingly colorful and is more of a dulled copper with blondes and silvers thrown in for extra curiosity…. the hair that covers the rest of my body though, is quite long and ranges from gold-colored to almost translucent….. I have no hair on my chest or back and I cannot grow a mustache if The Survival Of All Humanity depended upon it…. something about having had some Indian genes thrown into the familial mix back before Jackson had them all rounded up and whisked away to Oklahoma…..
…. I am 6’2” and pale with a smattering of freckles across my body and face… Nordic in appearance, almost….. and I weigh just under 200lbs…. that is, of course, depending on what I consumed for dinner last night and how enjoyable my last movement was…. weight, in the end, is a fickle measurement to go by….
…. My hair is short and parted from the left to the right, but I don’t own a comb… so all of the ‘parting’ is done by using my hands as I leave the shower in the morning…. the cut itself is just outside of military regulations….. I have an unfortunate nose that is at once noticeable as too small for my face…. My head, while not fat, does appear to be just that wee bit rounder than most noggins that I have seen…
…. I have no degrees and have never been enrolled at a place of higher learning…. I graduated from high school on a Friday and arrived at MCRD Parris Island, SC the following Monday after having night-tripped all of Sunday evening to get there…. I was ‘high shooter’ for my series when I graduated…. The Commanding General gave me a certificate from The Marine Corps Association (..who evidently thought it quite smart that I qualified one point off of perfect…)
…. I served in the Corps for nearly five years and loved every second of it…. I’ve been to quite a few exotic locations and managed to find what was worth seeing in all of them… even under the worst circumstances…. many of the men that I met there are still counted among my closest friends… even though we may only talk once or twice a year….
… I have been a network engineer, a systems analyst, a technology consultant, and an IT Manager……
…. I am, and have been, many things to many different people…. son, husband, brother, friend, lover, enemy, confidant, defender, workmate…. and probably many more that aren’t coming to mind right now….. but that is alright… it is as it should be…. as we live our lives, our roles change daily… so it is ok to forget some of them sometimes….
… I have a keen ability to memorize things, but I don’t utilize it nearly enough… I am too easily distracted to actually toss my brain towards something of importance….. I seem to be always busy with a tedious thing while my mind treads water…. but I do see patterns in words and I have a great love of poetry… lowbrow and highbrow….. and I view that as one of my most prized possessions… so I don’t feel that I’m losing much there….
…. I play a few chords on guitar but can’t sing…. I picked up my first guitar from one of my old Uncles who used to sing old BeeGee’s songs from way back before they went Disco… “How Do You Mend A Broken Heart”, etc… it was a Yamaha FG-340 and was a complete sweetie…. but it was stolen while I lived overseas… The Missus replaced it with the Fender acoustic that I own now and adore….
….my first name is David and my little brother’s first name is Joshua….. both of our middle names are Nordic… Eric and Leif, respectively….
… funny, really, my first name means ‘beloved’ and my middle name means ‘king’…. My surname means ‘one who brings gifts’ or ‘one who grants wishes’….
.. so, my whole name?… ‘beloved king who grants wishes’….. sounds pretty groovy, if you ask me…
…. I smoke unfiltered Camel cigarettes and love Scotch…. particularly the Islay malt, Bowmore…. When I lived overseas, it was impossible to get Camels that weren’t made in France (they used un-toasted tobacco and the flavor was totally off), so I smoked Marlboro’s with the filters ripped off for years until I moved back to Tennessee….
… I try to be an honest and good man… and I am happy with where I am in my life most of the time….. I like to watch everything around me…. I smile a lot and I laugh easily… mostly at myself…
… politically, I am a mixed bag….. I believe in a strong military and personal choices remaining Personal…
…. I love college football, Rugby Union, and competitive swimming…… I believe that the Tri-Nations are evil but I still wish that I owned a Springbok’s jersey…….
… I have never picked a fight in my entire life, but I have been in quite a few…. not always winning, I might add…. I’ve been cut, shot at, punched, kicked, gouged, twisted, choked, stomped, and bitten in the course of my life thus far….. and I have no regrets about any of it….
…. I’ve never been a braggart either, as I am at my core a shy, delicate fellow…. and I greatly disdain acts of arrogance and cockiness that are genuinely believed by the perpetrators….
…. Oh, and I look like an idiot if I ever wear a hat…… but I still own about thirty of them….. I just can’t help myself…
Hell raised by Catfish on January 3, 2011 03:43 PM
I missed this too over the holidays, but I'm glad I got back to it. Great writing.
I come from a hairless family too. So I married a man with lots of hair on his body and I'm fascinated. Unfortunately my son has not a hair on his chest, but amazingly hairy legs - kind of makes me snicker.
... and by the way, rubberneckers, if any of you want to get into the true spirit of Halloween (just passed), I recommed giving this a read...... best Halloween post I've read in years........ and hey, feel free to add a tale of your own once you've finished reading......
What is up with you scarin' the bejezzus out of me lately? Although it doesn't say much for my own mental acuity to actually click on the links. Still... I'm naming my night light after you...
Hell raised by Lemon Stand on November 8, 2010 09:38 PM
.... thank you, ma'am..... it can be scary in the most unlikely of places!...
I have had more than my fair share of experiences with things that go bump in the night as it were. The last house we owned had a ghost. We spent a great deal of time and work getting the place back to what it once was. My wife saw her more than I did. A little old lady that seemed to be very happy with the things we were doing. I will save some of the other stories for another time. Who knows, maybe even over a game of pool someday.
.... well, boys & girls, I am happy to report that another successful Hysterics at Eric's has gone down without a hitch...... as a matter of fact, I may cease doing ANY cooking since I now know the True Caliber of Pure Cooking Power that many of my guests possess.... honestly, I think this Saturday's meal was the best that has ever been served when I've hosted a blogmeet - and my happy little hands were banned from the kitchen AND the smoker all weekend!.... Mr. Elisson and Bou owned the kitchen this weekend......
.... the Intrepid Travelers began trickling in early Friday afternoon, and they were immediately greeted by 40 degree temperatures and a rain/hail/sleet storm.... needless to say, we didn't bother with a campfire on Friday night..... Saturday broke cloudy, though, and after the usual breakfasting at The Tellico Junction Cafe, a roaring campfire was raging out back until, well, quite recently actually......
... as always, it was a pleasure to have so many interesting, colorful, friendly, humorous human beings wandering around my property for a weekend..... I enjoyed every minute that you guys were here..... and I cannot WAIT until next year!.....
.... here's a quick list of those that braved the cold weather and partay'd this weekend.....
Thank you and thank the lovely Fiona for a wonderful weekend. Your skills as host were as great and nuanced as Elisson and Bou's were in the kitchen.
Jack and I had a wonderful time and a great drive back across the dragon to Carolina.
Thank you again for the hospitality and the very special and personal present. I look forward to the next time we meet, may it not be 5 years this time.
Hell raised by K-Nine on November 8, 2010 08:44 AM
I cannot say how much I missed going. I mean, I had the chance to meet both Erica and Jimbo, and then I remember last time SWMBO made this unbelievable breakfast thing of noodles and cream and apricots.
Did you test Erica's powers of perception or had she already done that? I can still smell it. Odd.
And everytime I think of Fiona, aside from her hypnotic accent, I think of the part in "Eurotrip" where Scotty's girlfriend breaks up with him and he howls "FIONA!"
Kind of a Stella quality, only your Fiona is way prettier than Stella.
Hell raised by LeeAnn on November 8, 2010 09:08 AM
SWG,
Had a blast this year. You are right, the Elissons and Bou have raised the bar on cookout food this year. My, my that was good! Loved, loved the gumbo too.
Great entertainment by the Elderly Bros and others.
I can't believe you and the Mrs put up with us every year. And we are eternally grateful that you do.
Hope to see you before another fall. Thanks for your hospitality!
It was a blast. Thank you (and the extremely understanding Fiona) for the hospitality. As others have said, Elisson, Bou and their helpers kicked ass and took names in the kitchen. I even ate me some farookin' gumbo. I had never had it before (We don't do no freakin' gumbo in Jersey). It was great -- two helpings! Ken, my bodyguard also raved about the food.
Also, thanks to all the peeps who listened yet again to me and Denny make what might be loosely music and didn't throw any produce at us.
Thursday through Sunday...lots of driving and hard partying. I may be getting too old for this shit. ...........naaaaaaaah.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on November 8, 2010 12:11 PM
A great time was had by all! The real good cooks were Elisson and SWWBO. I was just along for the ride. That roasted asparagus was to die for!
Thanks for all the links! It will make it easier for me when I put together my link fest.
My best to you and your lovely wife for once again opening your lovely home to all the crazy people! Your hospitality is unsurpassed.
Eric - once again you and Fiona have thrown the party of the year. Thank you! Also Elisson, his lovely wife, and Bou for the fantastic food, and the Elderly Brothers for the music, and everyone else for showing up and being their terrific selves. Truly every year you outdo the one before. I so wish a few peeps who were not able to join us had been there, but so it is every year.
Hell raised by Teresa on November 9, 2010 01:09 AM
At this point, Eric's annual get-together seems less like a blogmeet and more like a gathering of Long-Time Friends. And that's just fine.
Thanks for opening your home to us and making us all feel welcome. Friends, food, drink, music, poetry, and Pocket Billiards - ya can't beat it!
Hell raised by Elisson on November 9, 2010 11:57 AM
Every year it sounds more and more awesome!
Hell raised by Fiona on November 11, 2010 09:52 PM
... the smoker has arrived, gentle people....... the hickory arrives tomorrow morning........ and the chicken, sausages, brisket, ribs, and butts will be entombed within it come Saturday morning...... it's November, of course..... but all I keep thinking is, "damnation, I do so love October.." .....
..... on this day - waaaay back in 2003 - this little blog was hatched over on blogspot..... two months later she moved over to her own domain..... and only a mere month from her birth, I found myself atop Blood Mountain, Georgia at my very first blogmeet ..... good god, rubberneckers..... SEVEN years.... 7 years... s.e.v.e.n y.e.a.r.s..... it still seems unreal no matter how you type it......
.... and now with many, many blogmeets under my belt, I'll be hosting the fourthfifth annual Hysterics at Eric's in November..... I swear, I must be insane...... (thank you, Bou, for the correction...)
.... thank you all for swinging by every so often to steal a peek at my little slice of Tennessee.... meeting many of you has changed my life in ways that I never imagined back in September of 2003....
.... mercy, boys and girls..... 7 years...... to quote Augustus on his deathbed, "By God, Woodrow, it's been quite a party, ain't it?"....
.... and yes, it certainly has been quite a party.... this blogging thing is pretty damn cool sometimes........
Hell raised by Dax Montana on September 10, 2010 09:45 AM
May it continue as such happily ever onward. And wow, what a coincidence -- I just booked all my reservations this morning. As I told Teresa, I wish we were going out there tomorrow. I may very well gnaw my fingernails down to their raw nubs waiting for November to get here. To paraphrase an EPIC Blade quote: "...good god, I do so love October..."
Hell raised by Erica on September 10, 2010 09:54 AM
Happy bloggity-versary, Eric!!
Hell raised by LeeAnn on September 10, 2010 12:39 PM
Happy seventh bloggy-versary, you Tennessee renaissance man, you!
I'll second that thought - that meeting people through the medium of blogging has changed my life in unexpected ways. It's one of the unexpected pleasures of a time-sink - errr, hobby - that connects people who likely never would have met otherwise. It's led to some remarkable friendships... plenty of good times... and stories. Always, there are stories.
Hell raised by Elisson on September 10, 2010 01:04 PM
I don't think it's fourth annual. I think we're on the big number FIVE. Dang... gotta look into flights.
Congratulations. Do you remember the first time we met in person? That almost dive bar in Athens...mid December 2004.
The Juju Woman: "you mean to tell me you're going to meet some people in some dive ass bar, that you met over the internet?"
Me: "yeap"
The Juju Woman: "okay, be careful...and take a gun, and call me."
Me: "roger that"
I was the last one to arrive, and when I walked in waiting for a felony to happen...you, Key, Kelley, Velociman, Acidman, Catfish, and Single Southern Guy we're enjoying some cold beverages. I'm talking about some "Social Networking."
Like you, I've met more good people than assholes...which began with that meeting. That was the beginning of my "in person" blogging experience. I liked it so much, I keep coming back for more. I've almost been thrown in jail, almost had the shit beat out of me with a shovel, taken two trips to Central America, and many many more experiences I will not post here. You know what I mean.
All is good. Mercy is an understatement, and I've made some really good "like minded" friends through this "Blodging" thing.
Hell raised by Yabu on September 11, 2010 07:30 AM
Conga Ratualtions! One of these day's I'm gonna attend one of those blogmeets.
Hell raised by Cappy on September 11, 2010 08:29 AM
Congratulations on Seven Years!
Someday, I hope to be in the crowd.
Hell raised by Jean on September 11, 2010 09:30 AM
I'm a day late... but still wishing you a very Happy Blogoversary! One of the best things about blogging is people like you. As Elisson says in the normal course of events we would never have met. Isn't online life a wonderful thing!
Hell raised by Teresa on September 11, 2010 01:48 PM
Congrats on your anniversary. If you get a sudden urge to scratch your crotch or you find yourself lusting after a LiveJournal template, not to worry. It's only the "seven year itch."
..... after watching Dax's latest video post, this song latched itself violently onto my brain and I've been humming it ever since....... and so, I dedicate this to ole Dax..... congrats on the promotion, sir....... but that cut is not NEARLY short enough, you hippie.....
.... a toe-tapper, non?...... and if you watched his video as well, you will recognize that Mr. Montana has excellent taste in beer.....
.. in other news, I was given the chance to peer into the depths of my own septic tank this afternoon...... and I have still not fully recovered from the experience..... suffice it to say that a Human Being should never, ever be introduced to ten years worth of his own emissions all at once like I was today when the happy Septic Tank Sucker-man arrived to work his magic......
.... It was odd, seeing all that shit clogged in one poor, tiny concrete box..... and yet I couldn't help but imagine that I was feeling the exact same sensation that Koontz must feel every time he walks by the horror section of his local Waterstone's......
What skeeves me out is all the stuff the septic man touches after he touches that suck the shit out hose. I watched one guy put on gloves, bring the big hose over, suck all the shit out while wearing the gloves, go back to his truck, work the controls, do something else, come back, haul the hose back up to the truck, hose it off, all while wearing the gloves, roll it back up, take the gloves off, and touch an assortment of things he touched while wearing the gloves. I thought I might barf.
... I was given the pleasure yesterday of hosting Bou & her Boys for lunch, a few hours of rafting down the Hiwassee, a dinner of ribs, beans, and garlic biscuits.... and an evening of Zombie carnage (courtesy of her boy's PS3) until nearly dark.... and a good time was had by all..... well, except for the Zombie carnage...... somehow her little men think it quite funny that I harbor an unnatural fear of The Walking Dead.... as a matter of fact, this is the second year in a row that they've insisted on playing the game right in the middle of the living room..... and, of course, squirming all over my couch making high pitched squeaking noises with the destruction of each Zombie noggin......
.... I watched them for a while, but then retired to the safety of the kitchen where "The Adults" could converse..... but it was too late, unfortunately, as the damage had already been done.........I woke up at 4am and lumbered through to the kitchen for a glass of water and suddenly heard a floorboard creak in the living room.... I immediately was wide awake and cursing that damnable PS3..... but after a thorough going over of all the locks, I felt it safe enough to wander back to bed believing the house to be safe, secure, and Zombie free.....
... we rendezvoused again this morning for breakfast at the Tellico Junction Cafe (those of you who have breakfasted with me after the October blogmeet will know that locale pretty well.), and then they went on their well-fed way towards the rest of their vacation obligations....
.... it is always such a pleasure to entertain Bou and her three little men.... and if you are ever given a chance to do so, please take it.... trust me, you have my word..... you'll have a lot of fun, and I know from six years of experience that you will certainly NOT get bored.... each of her boys are a slice off the ole Bou-block.... so just imagine spending a day and a morning with three slices of Bou and a WHOLE Bou, and well, how on Earth could you NOT have fun?....
.... I will say, though, having read her post on the whole "rafting" adventure that we were completely doomed from before we ever even dipped a toe in the river..... sure, it was very, VERY fun, but it was also very tiring and very, very hot..... that said, I will point out to those who might be thinking of rafting in the near future that when they say a raft needs a "minimum of four", what they mean is that you need a minimum of four paddlers..... two adults just ain't gonna cut it, folks... no matter how hard you paddle your little tail feathers off, all you really can do is make sure that your raft is drifting with its nose in the right direction.......
.... but, be that as it may, we still had a good time..... Life is, after all, all about the new experiences...... and who doesn't enjoy leaping from a stuck raft into chest-deep water, bashing their knees, and heaving a raft around while trying not to drown?!..... not me, rubberneckers!..... I'm all about that kind of gig..... heh..... but Bou, though?..... well, she's hardly bigger than a minute, so while she did jump out and tug, push, and heave for a while, her heart was certainly in the right place..... and we all pulled our share of the weight.....
.... oh, and I nearly forgot the two "floaters" that we had drifting along behind us...... good god, were I Superman and she Supergirl, we STILL could not have moved that raft faster than the river's current with SpongeBob and Squidward (Mr T and Ringo) lashed to our forecastle like they were......
..... but, yeah..... there you go..... sometimes it's better to be floating down a river on an inner tube eating beef jerky than to be paddling like Hell and getting no where fast, but still, we survived...... and actually, it WAS a lot of fun... in a soggy, sunburnny, aching shoulder, lots of laughing kind of way.....
..... so next year?..... I wholeheartedly agree with Bou..... we'll give the rapids a miss and spend a day in the shade skipping stones on the Tellico river......
... you need much less chiropractic time after skipping stones......
Your rafting trip sounds like a great adventure. We once got our raft hung over a rock in what is known as "the Box" on the upper Rio Grande in class 5 rapids. I was too stupid to know how scared I should have been.
I love rafting, but there is a huge difference between no current shallow water rafting, and the real deal. Same goes for kayaking. Of course, you know that.
... the Hiwassee was only class 1, Yabu.... it's meant for families to float down slowly without a guide.... I've been on real whitewater on the Ocoee quite a few times... we'll not be able to do the Ocoee until her boys get much, much older....
Eric, I know that... I was just saying that bumping the bottom ain't fun. I've pulled as well, busted my ass many times, and it ain't fun. I decided long ago, if there ain't enough water to float the boat...I'm not going. Having said that...commanding three young boys / men is good Juju. Good for you. I've done the Snake River (started in Wyoming) as well, nice ride. We should do that one together. I swear to the Maker, we'd be telling stories about that ride for a long time...but I ain't going without protection in the form of gunpowder. I'm all about a nice smooth, maybe a little bumpy, ride. Not into wondering if I'm still gonna be alive when I see drop off rapids ahead. I'm a pussy, but a smart pussy. Been there before...I learned from my mistakes.
I'm with you on the zombie thing, darned kids nowadays, too young to remember the Analog type....these new fangled digital zombies just bring memories of the real thing.....heh.
I will confess, it was rather disheartening when you said you saw a leaf floating by going as fast as we were, and the Good Lord only knows I was paddling as hard as I could! I was most definitely not the Propulsion section of our team...
And I'm still getting imitations of you from the boys, "Look at me! I'm paddling a canoe!" with their snickering "You paddle like a girlllll!" Sheesh! Y'all are a tough crowd...
..... Ooom Keesie evidently needs a link and thinks that we have been somehow shortdicking him for a while..... and for that, I am sorry....... but, rest assured that it was not ME who was shortdicking him, as that is not my forte at all......... which means that it must have been Velociman doing the deed, yes?.......
..... that's the best that I can figure after reading Keesie's drivel anyway.......... right?....
Ta youngster
Drivel is fighting talk:
SWG is 36 years old.
I am 57 years young.
So to make things even if we have a fighting competition, he would have to have one leg tied to one arm and I would whip his ass. Period.
Besides the shitness of making things even and the socialism and communism that that statement brought forward I would like to suggest a CONTEST.
POETRY
SWG and KEESIE or anybody that would like to take part:
would post a:
WHAT ABOUT and post his favourite poet's lines.
AND then he would write 3 or more lines of rhyme or poetry or haiku.
And the responding person takes him on.
What is not to like?
Oh By The Way I have started this.
http://keeskennis.blogspot.com/2010/05/poetry-contest.html
Hell raised by keeskennis on May 31, 2010 02:16 PM
I see it is to be no-rules poetry:
Iamb to be damned.
Meter to be muddled.
Stanzas to be strafed.
Lock and load, then. Keesie's gone off half-cocked.
.... so The Missus and I are sitting around this evening watching a program about the terraforming of Mars, and they bring up the fact that it is uninhabitable mainly because of the lack of greenhouse gasses AND that it is just plain WAY TOO COLD......
..... now, she has already read all of the "Mars" series of science fiction books from Kim Stanley Robinson, and she ate every one of the trilogy up with lip-smacking enjoyment.... me?.... I'm just not that into science fiction.......
.... so, fast forward to this evening....... she is sucking on every word from the presenter about terraforming Mars, when they mention that it is way too cold there for human habitation.......
..... I pipe up, "good god!.... if it is too cold, then build a damn FIRE!.... it'll create plenty of carbon dioxide..... and that will help create a warmer atmosphere, supply green house gasses, and make everyone up there feel a bit less chilly!... and with all the ash left over, you could use that as a base for soil and plant some damn TREES!"....
.... ten seconds later, the presenter of the show said that they needed to basically "build a fire on Mars" to create greenhouse gasses so that they could eventually plant Earthborne high altitude conifers to assist with the creation of a breathable atmosphere.........
..... I belly-laughed and said, "see!.... see?!..... Goddamn, woman, I should work for NASA!.... 'It's cold on Mars, people, what should we do??'..... 'Build a FIRE!'....... damn, but I am an undiscovered genius".......
.... anyway, (and to get to the point of this nearly pointless post) she dug into me again during a commercial.....
... "You know what?", she said...... "next October we should get NASA to fly all of the Jawja Bloggers up to Mars instead of having them come here for the weekend....... hey, you could even take your own firewood!...... and I bet that the combination of 25 Jawja Bloggers, the others that come, AND the fact that y'all would have a campfire to watch while you drink your chocolate vodka, well, I am quite sure that Mars would have an atmosphere in less than a week........... for, after all, no one can emit hot air like a bunch of half-drunken bloggers standing by a campfire........ good lord, we've seen it for the past FIVE years!...... no wonder our trees are doing so well in the back yard!!.... it is from their annual mega-dose infusion of blogger-based carbon dioxide emissions!".......
..... and in retrospect, I think she may be right....... after all, her logic is fairly secure...... the dogwoods ARE blooming especially pretty this year after those bloggers spent those two nights camping underneath them.....
...... but, wow.... that means that the next Hysterics at Eric's must be a precursor to us having a blogmeet on Mars....... any takers?....... The Missus assures me that it will be for the greater benefit of All Humanity For Generations to Come.......... so, there is that...... or do I have to go this one on my own?........ hey, I'll bring Scotch and bottle rockets!..... and I am sure that Jimbo will bring the vodka.....
Hmmm LeeAnn has a point. Of course red is a good color for me so I wouldn't mind a trip to Mars - but I don't like the cold much so maybe I'll show up about 12 hours into the meet... you all will have a nice bubble of hot air just expanding away. I think that timetable works for me.
I've got a snazzy down sleeping bag and plenty of Scotch. Is fart-gas a greenhouse gas? Got plenty of that, too. Very helpful on Mars, but it's a long trip from here to there, and in close quarters...
Elisson beat me to it but that many bloggers in a cramped space as required for transport would be a combustible mix long before reaching Mars. Of course the resultant fire would jump start the whole warming and atmosphere thing. "One small flatulence for man, one giant fart for mankind..." (Forgive me Neal Armstrong)
Well, I was going to ask if we could go to Venus instead, but I looked up the surface temp and it's like on avg 450 deg F. So, I guess Venus is out and we're stuck with Mars.
You just slapped the Blade. He, also, moves about in German made transport. Seriously...if it wasn't for German rocket scientists, there would be no American space anything.
E,
You are destined for greatness, you're just taking it easy so you don't freak us all out. Can i take my smoker? A hickory smoked brisket emits a TON of greenhouse gas.
Hell raised by The Piper on April 8, 2010 11:36 AM
You should try reading some KSR -- your bride is spot on! I'm just re-reading the Mars series -- it's not really science fiction, per se. The dude knows his science and the schieze he writes about is very well thought-out speculation (which is why some writers are referring to this sub-genre as speculative, rather than science, fiction. KSR is a very smart guy!! But, I agree, a bunch of you Jawja gangsters could probably create an atmosphere in nothing flat!!! Great idea!
Hell raised by Marianne on April 12, 2010 01:27 AM
.... what say you?..... I mean, I love the guy, and I love to watch the man eat nachos, but that post?........ methinks he is borderline...... and not in the Madonna kind of way......
.... for T1G.... who just happens to be in a Coleridge kinda mood lately...... behold...
..... the story goes that he was busily penning the above poem whilst completely bombed on opium when a certain "person from Porlock" came along and snapped him out of his concentration/vision/dream/hallucination and the rest of the poem was lost..... thus the secondary title of "A Vision in a Dream: A Fragment"......
... still, though..... pretty rich imagery for a stoner..... and hey, lately?... it seems that a person from Porlock is camping out by the woodpile behind my house..... and they've worn a grove in the path from the patio to my back door to ask about basketball scores...... after all, if IS March......
In Englewood a Straight White Guy
Took up a Shovel in his arm.
A Tool of iron cold and hard,
He carried it to his back yard,
And threatened deadly harm!
.... man, I just LOVED this post by Big Stupid Tommy.........
... and it so reminded me of the time that I caught Mr. McDowell staring at The Missus' breasts last year at the DragonCon in Atlanta...... (which reminds me, after searching the archives, I just realized that I never wrote about the incident.... hmmmm... I need to rectify that, I guess....)
...... honestly, you can't make this stuff up..... well, not me, I mean..... but Tommy certainly can......
Please tell ol' Tommy I thought that was a great piece of writing. I tried to tell him myself, but I can't figure out how to leave a comment over there without getting all google-tangled.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on March 3, 2010 03:50 AM
.... a year ago - in just a few weeks - I posted this little song-drive.... and now that whole area is covered in hardened snow......
.... and tomorrow?..... tomorrow Elisson and I are set to camping above the snowline on Starr Mountain..... and yes, even though taunted so blatantly like this, I have fixed my Petzl....... and no, I had no idea that petzl meant what he said it meant...... I was merely reading the name brand off of my climbing head lamp........
.... good grief..... y'all should be ashamed of yourselves!........
.... most bloggers that I know (and have met) absolutely hate clowns....... Jimbo, Elisson, Blackfive, they all hate them........ and tonight I read Big Stupid Tommy with great glee........
.... there is nothing like unintentional trauma, folks..... and when it comes to clowns?..... well, this is one of the classics.......
.... follow the link and click on the YouTube........ trust me, it is worth it.....
..... and for the record?..... I hate clowns too.........
I hate clowns too, but that commercial is one of the funniest spots on TV
Hell raised by hoosierboy on January 28, 2010 11:10 AM
While I'm no fan of clowns, I will not paint with a broad brush. I'd have to give Emmett Kelly and Red Skelton's "Freddie the Freeloader" a pass.
What I do hate is that paper-mache'looking
"The King" character they use in the Burger King commericals. It's one of the most hideous things I've ever seen and Wendy's gets all my business as long as they use that abomination....
...I'd like to thank Elisson and his lovely bride for inviting us down this past weekend... folks, the man and his friends know how to cook, drink, entertain, and make a Tennessean feel welcome.... goose, roasted beef, beautiful desserts, fattened duck liver, barrels of wine..... good grief..... and stories, and laughter to boot..... Captain Aubrey would have been most proud.... hell, we even had a few broken glasses to add to the effect!.... it was also wonderful to see Denny the GOC again as well....... man, those fellows certainly know their wines......
.... it was a wonderful and welcome weekend of good company and festive excess..... which, I do believe, was exactly what they were aiming for...... Elisson, sir, you hit another home run......
.... in other news, I was just channe lsurfing looking for one of those creepy ghost shows that seem to be on everywhere these days and I ran across 24 midgets strapped to a DC-10 trying to out-pull an Indian elephant that was strapped to its own DC-10 airplane.... I was shocked, appalled, and weirdly fascinated by the whole scene, so I just had to watch it...... and yes, the elephant won....... but NOT before the well-coifed announcer screamed, "WOW!!!... just watch those LITTLE PEOPLE PULL!!"...... I nearly snorted a mouthful of tea out my nose.....
.... so yeah, anyway.... that "Man Vs Beast" show is just wrong...... I wonder where they found so many midgets who were that excited about pulling a 203,000lb airplane...... nevermind..... if you know the answer, don't tell me.... I just don't want to know....
Some years ago I stopped by to see a logger I had worked with about a tract he was going to work for us in the near future. At that time, he was working on Federal property which meant he had a USFS nanny who stayed with the crew to make sure they stayed within contract. I met the logger and as we were talking he asked " Have you met our FS nanny yet? He's a midget." Unbeknownst to us, he was walking up as we conversed and announced rather loudly, "I'm NOT a midget, I'm a dwarf!" As we shook hands and I looked him over I realized he was in fact, a dwarf. There is a difference and as I discovered, to mistake one for the other, really pisses them off.
Hell raised by Tbird on December 21, 2009 08:00 PM
... well, boys & girls..... we're off to spend the weekend in Atlanta and enjoy some time with Mr. Elisson & Company...... y'all have a great weekend!.....
..... you know, we really need to get this guy to a blogmeet where the Artillery Punch is flowing....... personally?.... I think he'd lose his ever-lovin' mind.....
..... besides, everyone knows that us bloggers - when WE get together?.... well, we really ARE the most interesting people in the world......
Is this guy really the "most interesting man in the world?" I'm thinking probably not. It's funny that you posted this though, because I have this ad in my sights... I was going to do a post for my Consumer Reports dept on my blog disputing that very fact, that he is indeed NOT the MIMITW.
Now it looks like I just stole the idea from you. Oh well... I still might do it.
Hell raised by gooseneck on November 19, 2009 09:07 PM
I admit it... I like these adverts!
I think they're fairly clever, and retro, a bit. The guy (to be), is supposed to be Hemingway, so I think of Old Man and the Sea and all that.
I agree, however, that bloggers ARE the most interesting people in the world. =)
Hell raised by Hanya on November 20, 2009 03:52 PM
... I'm cleaning off the old blogroll, boys & girls...... if you fall off and don't like it, just give me a yell...... and hey, if you think you should be on it and aren't?.... give a holler..... and I'll see what I can do..... I seem to have been de-linked by quite a few of those on the "Bloggers I'd Like to Drink With" blogroll......
.... anyway, it is time for some housekeeping...... and I guess I'm a bit grumpy from spending the last two days raking leaves and climbing ladders..... I need a scotch and water..... and a back massage.....
"give a holler" I thought only Okies said such stuff. Sometimes we say, "holler back at me." Thanks for keeping me on the link - I look forward to moving to the "Drinking Buddies" list.
Yep... I just KNEW you didn't have enough lemonade in your life. Get busy fixin' that or I just may just have to fix your link to say... "Here, There be Dragons... oh wait it's just a grumpy marine" THEN I'll have to do a post on your marine barracks interior decorator, and don't I just have the perfect picture for that? :P
Hell raised by Lemon Stand on November 4, 2009 11:24 AM
I only have 5 or 6 on my link list and your's and BST's are my favorites. I'd like to read all of the blogs out there, but I have limited web-time (complicated-TRUST ME on this!). Anyhow, my blog isn't overly exciting, interesting sometimes, boring other times, your call here.., but I would be honored to be added to your list of keepers. Thanks either way.
Hell raised by snottydog on November 8, 2009 11:44 AM
.... up early this morning sipping coffee.... my goodness, what a weekend!.... it was a pleasure to have so many bloggers and good friends again in my house..... and the weather even cooperated better this year than it ever has before!.... no blogger popsicles in tents in the back yard on Saturday morning!....
... good food, good football, good company, good conversation...... what more could anyone ask for?....
.... as usual, I am honored and humbled that so many fine folks would travel so far to stand around in my garage, back yard, and living room for a weekend.....
.... thank you all for coming..... I could not have asked for a better birthday party........
.... and the gifts this year were astounding!.... a samurai sword, two bottles of single malt, a handmade stained glass work of art, a graphic novel about zombies, a fine bottle of port, a telephone call from a foxhole in Afghanistan, a bag chocked full of Trader Joe's finest, a song performed for me that I love, AND all of the wonderful company & conversation that each attendee gave to me...
..... oh, and thanks as well to whomever remembered to take the inflatable sheep Love Ewe with them when they left Sunday morning...... mercy..... you guys are amazing........ and I loved every minute.....
We were so sorry to miss it, but after hearing about the I-40 traffic, whew! Had a bit of barn-burner weekend anyway, what with another trip back to J'ville.
Sounds like it was a perfectly wonderful event. Maybe we need one in Charleston in late January. . .
Somehow I ended up with Bessie the Love Ewe in my trunk. I guess that's only fitting since I originally gifted Elisson with it in Helen a couple of years back. She's currently crammed in beside my spare and god forbid I get pulled over and they want to check my trunk...
I had a great time, it was certainly nice to see everyone. Next time around folks.
Hell raised by Richard on October 26, 2009 04:37 PM
What about the paper Varsity Hat? Huh? Huh?
Seriously, glad you had a great time, bro.
Hell raised by Velociman on October 26, 2009 05:52 PM
It was probably the best weekend I've ever had... what with pachinko, tons of yummy food, meeting everyone, and winning a nifty hat. Thank you more than words can convey.
Hell raised by LeeAnn on October 26, 2009 06:56 PM
..... I had a blast, guys & gals........ and you each were more than welcome....... good god, I love having you guys in my house and getting the chance to talk to you all!....
We head on down to stand in your garage and yard because you are the best. :-) So many excellent peeps all in one place - how could I miss that?
Although I did mean to pick up a birthday present for you and Denny... *sigh* I didn't quite get to it. I shall have to scour the interwebs for a new sheep to hang out in your garage. LOL.
Hell raised by Teresa on October 26, 2009 10:22 PM
A very pleasant weekend indeed! Great peeps... fine food... rockets... an inflatable Fuck-Sheep... how does one begin to describe it?
Hell raised by Elisson on October 26, 2009 10:50 PM
Sounds like the best present you got was all of your friends there to share your special day with.
:)
Glad all of you had such a great time!
:)
Thank you again, Eric, for your wonderful hospitality. Once again, I am moving into my season bluesin' time as I sit here in hot S. FL and my body feels cheated that I'm not in the real South experiencing a real Fall. It was wonderful to laugh so hard and hang with people that I'm so comfortable with.
..... today, like many other autumn days, dawned peaceful and damp, and I spent much of the morning looking forward to a day of SEC football..... Alabama, Florida, Arkansas, Georgia, and Vanderbilt....... it promised to be quite a day!.....
..... then imagine my surprise when I heard from the Velociman today saying that he and Key Monroe were just around the corner!........ that's right, friends, He and Key got their dates mixed up....... and instead of arriving next week for the Annual SE Tennessee Blogmeet, they showed up today!.....
.... actually, it was a pleasure....... we watched the Georgia/Vandy game together..... I mixed up a few gin and tonics (and even an appletini for Key), and a grand time was had by all........
.... you know, blogmeets are nice, they truly are..... it is great to have a bunch of "online journalists" camped out in your living room, or back yard....... but there is nothing like spending time with your fellow bloggers where you can actually have a True Conversation with them.......
.... nothing beats one-on-one time, I guess..........
.... so tonight I have been blessed....... I had a good few hours with some folks that I have known for a long, long time....... and next weekend I get the pleasure of the Horde of bloggers that I have known for a long, long time......... what an unexpected gift!.... .
...... carrying a blog, folks, there truly isn't anything else like it for providing a life filled with unexpected gifts.....
yep, I enjoy the blog meets but it is difficult to get to talk much with everyone in sch a short time.
The first of this month I spent a few days in Port Lavaca...most of it with Tall Cool Drink of Water and her family...it has been the high light of this road trip
I met up with GuyK, who is in OK visiting relatives and fishing) yesterday for lunch. The Piper from Extended Table showed up for a few minutes. It wasn't exactly a bogmeet, but as close as I have ever been to one. I am putting "blogmeet" on my "top 25 things to do before I die" list.
Altho evidently I have stepped on more toes than one could think possible in this (meaning this exact group) little blog world, Eric, you, sir, have been kind enough to allow me to stay.
Used to think I grew up with very good manners and always wanted everyone to be happy, but also have never met such a sensitive group as bloggers, I guess.
I'm still playing catch up on my reading after being gone for several days... does this mean V-man and Key won't be there this weekend? I hope not! Or at this rate it will be just LeeAnn and I at your place. LOL.
Hell raised by Teresa on October 20, 2009 02:03 PM
Och, aye, I got the date wrong. But this was the only weekend we could have made it, as Key has her daughter next weekend and I have a convention in the sordid city of Louisville, hometown of Muhammad Ali, Hunter S. Thompson, and Audrey Hollander.
In a way it was better, as we got some quality face time devoid of the usual drunken shenanigans.
I'll drunk dial Saturday.
Hell raised by Velociman on October 20, 2009 05:48 PM
v-Man - A likely story. You just didn't want to put up with the BS of the Blown-Eyes.
... if you haven't read Elisson's latest post on volcanoes, then go and treat yourself..... it is definitely worth the time....
.... when I read it?... all I could think of was "wow.... how amazing it must have been to have climbed up a volcano.... and then gazed over the brim down to the lava below..".....
.... it started me thinking about Mt. Tanaga and Mt. Kanaga - two of the most perfectly conically shaped volcanoes on Earth - and ones that I saw nearly every day for 18 months......
..... when the weather to the west was clear, you could clearly see them out against the skyline - 16 miles west of Adak Island.... and from time to time you'd see a trailing while pall of smoke and ash rising up into the sky.....
.... and in doing a bit of research on those two volcanoes, I suddenly realized that I HAD climbed a volcano before.... two of'em, in fact!.....
.... Mt. Adagdak and Mt. Moffett..... of course, the weather wasn't exactly Hawaiian shirt friendly..... quite the opposite, actually...... pictures of me near the summit of Mt. Moffett were posted ages ago here..... funny, though.... if it hadn't been for reading Elisson's post, I'd never have known that either of those two "mountains" were actually volcanoes......
... so, go now and read his post..... it'll make you think deep thoughts.... and then?.... well, you just never know what will happen...
.... I've had the pleasure of showing Elisson & SWMBO around my proverbial neck' O' the woods for the past two days...... and I have to say, I have certainly enjoyed myself...... good food, plenty of drinks, great conversation, and lots of nice scenery....... hell, we even threw in a little bit of History.....
.... it's hard not to have fun when you're around those two, boys & girls....... and if you're ever given the opportunity to hang with them for a few days?..... cancel whatever else is on your agenda, and watch.... and learn...... for they are both a 100% pure class-act, folks.... replete with freshly grilled filet mignon, crème caramel, poetry recitations, and fart jokes.....
... and that, rubberneckers, is what it is all about.....
... hell, anyone who can't truly enjoy a filet steak, recite a few lines of off-the-cuff poetry, and tell a decent fart joke really isn't worth spending much time with!....
..... and don't get me started on the Negroni's or the Highland Park....... OR the Texas Hold'em......
A splendid time was had by all, Eric... thanks again to you and the lovely Fiona for your hospitality... and the totally inexplicable (but welcome) desire to put up with us for all that time!
MAN!! Sounds like my kind of people! Probably heard it, but.., "Beans beans, good for your heart.., more you eat 'em, more you fart.., and when I fart how good it feels.., so let's have beans for EVERY meal!!"
Hell raised by Snottydog on July 28, 2009 11:11 AM
.... I had a wonderful time yesterday entertaining Bou & Her Boys up in the mountains... the weather was glorious and the chili-cheese dogs were just as tasty as they are every year.... but, wow.... I swear, I just don't see how she keeps up with those three little whirlwinds....
... ended up throwing a few steaks on the grill last night just before sundown.... a pretty fitting end for a day spent splashing in the headwaters of the Tellico River.... I was definitely needing some protien!.....
.... sipping coffee now, and watching the day wake up here.... The News says that thunderstorms are scheduled on and off for the whole day.... and hey, that's just fine by me!..... a rainy day will give my tired old bones a chance to recover from a day of skipping stones & jousting wits with three young firecrackers and their wonderful mother!......
..... due to a series of wily circumstances beyond my control, I actually managed to get well & truly dirty today...... grass clippings, sweat, motor oil..... hell, even a bit of blood..... the scary thing is that I enjoyed every second of it..... I even hillbilly-engineered a cunning way to swap out the blades on the riding lawnmower..... and I've only a few nicks, scratches, and a bit of a sunburn to show for my efforts.....
..... anyway, enough of all that....... back to something a tad more interesting..... for instance, I happened to read this at Dax's site in between taking water breaks and switching out the cord in the weed eater and just couldn't help myself..... (evidently he was a squaw, by the way...) .. here's what the Almighty, All-knowing Internet has to say about my past life....
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern East Australia around the year 1825. Your profession was that of a philosopher and thinker.
Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Timid, constrained, quiet person. You had creative talents, which waited until this life to be liberated. Sometimes your environment considered you strange.
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your main task is to make the world more beautiful. Physical and spiritual deserts are just waiting for your touch. Keep smiling!
Well if it said in my past life I was a Danish Viking, I was going to freak, since... well, Dad found out we're descended via some yDNA stuff. That would have been freaky.
Instead, it kept me in home turf: Ireland. The rest of it, as quirky as it all sounds, would probably be agreed upon by those who know me well.
-----------------
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Ireland around the year 1475. Your profession was that of a artist, magician or fortune teller.
----------------------------------------------
Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Bohemian personality, mysterious, highly gifted, capable to understand ancient books. With a magician's abilities, you could have been a servant of dark forces.
----------------------------------------------
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your task is to learn, to love and to trust the universe. You are bound to think, study, reflect, and to develop inner wisdom.
great just great, not much has changed for me..except ovaries
Your past life diagnosis: I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Burma around the year 850. Your profession was that of a seaman, cook or carpenter. Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
As a natural talent in psychology, you knew how to use your opportunities. Cold-blooded and calm in any situation. The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your task is to learn determination and persistency. Youd should not allow to let misfortunes take influence on your strong will. Do you remember now?
..... pork chops, heavily coated in black pepper & a little sea salt...... sautéed in a dab of butter & a splash of Worcestershire sauce until brown on both sides...... and then gently lowered into a casserole dish filled with cream of mushroom soup, a cup of double cream, a cup of diced & sautéed onions, and two cloves of crushed garlic...... with a plan to bake that at 375 for 45 minutes..... my goodness.....
.... steamed baby Dutch potatoes, and fresh corn on the cob courtesy of my houseguest for the past two days, Mr. Sam......
... that, boys & girls, is what's for dinner....
.... there's nothing like a properly gravied pork chop to drive the horses of normality back to their stables, rubberneckers....... pork chops feed the soul just as much as the satisfy the paunch...... and whipping up a batch that are 'just like Mamma used to make'?..... well, it's a balm to sooth the thorniest of attitudes.....
.... in other news, I happened to see my first toad of the season today..... marbled with grays & browns, he looked exactly like a hopping gravel....... a itty-bitty little fellow, he was, and were I not a man of such keen senses I'd likely have trod on him.... but he was fortunate to have caught me on a day when my rapier like skillz & karmic radar were both at maximum power.....
.... had I met him this Friday past?.... after lunchtime?..... well, he'd be laying out back with his lower intestines peeking wetly from his lipless mouth, I reckon.....
..... thus the world goes 'round, right?..... one day you're the windshield, the next day you're the bug........ or perhaps The Stones were right..... and if you try sometimes, you just might find that you get what you need?...... hey, I'm down with that as a Bit of Wisdom.....
...... trouble is, most folks don't really want what they need...... me, though?..... I certainly don't have that problem.....
There was a frog on the softball field the other day - not too far from homeplate on the first base line. One of the lady spectators pointed him out to my daughter who was the hindcatcher and wanted her to remove the frog from the danger of being trampled. Jesse was very good to shoo the frog away with her glove and chase it off the field to the amusment of the crowd. I was just proud that she did not give it a good kick.
My pleasure my friend....REALLY enjoyed the hospitality and conversations.
BTW, your blade has got to be somewhere in your house or car...or maybe the Mexicans have it...of course they wouldn't tell you if they found it. Just retracing our steps.
If I had it, you would've already received a ransom demand.
Sounds great. Mind you I love well prepared pork chops but any time someone mentions pork chops, the first thing that pops into my mind is that joke. About the girl so ugly her parents had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
Every....freekin'....time..
..... two tasks before I am off to bed, folks..... firstly, I would like to wish a very happy birthday to Lou's daughter, Skybag..... many, many happy returns, ma'am!......
..... and, as I promised, here's Blanche......... exactly the same as Sylvia with the following changes - slightly bigger engine, a slightly brighter shade of white, fancier shoes, and a better Bose audio system....... other than that, she feels just exactly like Sylvia did........ which, I might add, was very nice, indeed..........
.... if you're in the market for a new car?......... well, you cannot go wrong with an Audi, rubberneckers......... and y'all can trust Uncle Eric on that one......... yea, verily......
....... and with that, boys and girls, I am dark until morning!......
.... you would too, Rick, if you ever took it for a drive......
... and besides.... you can always just close your eyes and pretend that it is a Silverado..... (silver Audi) from back at the Dahlonega Meet in 2003.......
I had an Aunt Blanche. She was a trip. Neighborhood beautician, she was. Uncle Dewey built bad ass mahogany boats in the back yard. Alot of them ended up running untaxed whiskey up and down the TN River during Prohibition.
She used to smoke like a chimney. She'd even eat and smoke, ashtrays at the dining table and all. It was pretty regular that you'd walk to Aunt Blanche's house after school to wait on Momma to get off work, she'd heat you up a can of Beanie Weenies, and their'd be cigarette ashes in it when she set it down in front of you.
Think Alan Hale in capri pants. That was my Aunt Blanche.
A man's choice of vehicles says a lot about him. It makes me wonder what Vman's choice of rides says about him.
Hell raised by James Old Guy on June 6, 2009 03:59 PM
i love audis, and bmws! love the continental cars, especially if they come in British Racing Green :) strangely enough, they've taken the mercedes benzs and made them into limo taxis over here....
..... good evening, rubberneckers........ I'm going to have to check my archives, but I am pretty damn sure that squirrels mate in June around here...... why?.... well, because two have been chasing each other up and down the tree outside the blogroom window for most of the day....... and one of them looks absolutely terrified.... and the other one looks, well, you know....... up to something, if you catch my drift..... but so far, I've (thankfully) yet to bear witness to actual squirrel coitus (as I traumatically have in the past - thus the need for re-checking the archives to find a date.)...
.... anyway, apart from a quick jaunt to town in the new ride - Blanche - I have little to report...... except that the last two days have absolutely rocked, and I have enjoyed both of them immensely.....
.... oh, and Hoosierboy deserves a serious pat on the back...... so go on over and congratulate him....... hell, anyone who keeps a blog for four years deserves some sort of lifetime achievement medal.... so congratulations, Hoosierboy...... keep on punchin' those keys........
.... and hey, keep your chin up...... at least you don't write about the sex lives of squirrels.......
Right on SWG. Squirrels(grays anyway) breed twice a year. Nov.-January and May-June. First breedin' best of course cause that's in hunting season. Preoccupation with poontang makes them easier to stalk. My brother let fly at a nest once, (he had a shotgun, I a .22) and collected four with one shot. Squirrel group sex? I know not and gave it little thought since they fried up really fine. But the possibility exists.
Anyway, you can't blame'em much. Other than sex they ain't got much to do except play with their nuts...
Well, I was bored so I found it. It still cracks me up reading for maybe the 20th time. I keep having to share it with people especially when they talk about how cute those little bastards are.
As a long-time lurker I know I have a while to go to catch up to the old guard bloggers
Hell raised by hoosierboy on June 2, 2009 07:56 AM
Hold up -- little to report -- new car? I thought you went on vaca. and came back. Where was the car part? Ohhhhhh, darn it. I miss everything! (Foot stamp, hands on hips!!)
I'm with Kath... I thought I missed something and maybe I did, but even when I can't make it over here daily I try to read back on all the good stuff I missed. I so don't remember Blanche being in the picture.
.... as soon as I return from my vacation in The Olde County, I'm definitely going to do my very best to emulate The Maximum Leader......
.... good god..... nothing says "The South" like a salt-cured country ham... and after a jaunt overseas, I figure that a day spent cooking a ham would be the perfect "welcome home"..... besides, I reckon all that delicious saltiness will be just about perfect for cutting the grease from my veins after feasting on haggis, smoked sausage suppers, and deep-fried Mars bars for 11 days.....
... in other news, I spent the better part of today washing the gravel from the path that leads from the deck to the patio..... damn, that was weird to type, but it is 100% true...... and no, I don't mean that I was washing the gravel FROM the path like something you'd imagine Thoreau would pen .... I mean that I was physically removing the gravel from the path with the help of a shovel, dumping them into a wheelbarrow, and then using the hose to wash the gravel free of a winter's worth of soil accumulation..... trust me, today would have killed a bird-watching, lake-walking, quill-penned transcendentalist....
.... it's odd, I guess...... a day of honest labor has left me tired, sunburned, a bit sore, fairly dirty, and smelling more than just a little bit like a well-ridden horse..... yeah, think lather, sweat, and extremely bad breath..... I imagine that my smell alone would have caused most members of Emerson's entourage to have run for the hills at first whiff......... but the good news is that the next two days are predicted to be equally as beautiful as today has been..... and two more days of hard labor should just about finish the repairs to the path.....
..... I think I should write a poem tomorrow about washing gravel....... hell, I'm pretty sure that such an endeavor has never been attempted before in the history of mankind (for a very good reason, no doubt.).......
..... I just don't know....... but as of right now?..... I leaning towards a limerick.....
Each to his own I guess but that's a mighty long time to prepare and boil a ham.
My grandpa used to be the holiday ham boiler.
He'd wash off the ham, cut off the hock, and soak it over night.
Then he'd put it in a lard stand, hock end up, cover with water and boil it hard for about 2 hours. Then he'd remove it from the stove, put the lid on the lard stand, and wrap it in old blankets(top, bottom, and sides) to insulate it and let it sit for 24 hrs.
Then he'd take it from the lard stand, pull off the skin, trim off the excess fat and it was ready to eat.
He never bothered with a glaze as he said that was just a prissy way to present it.
All I know is it ate mighty fine that way and the after holiday leaving's made as good a ham salad as I've ever had....
Just a thought.
O/T But I just wondered why when I click on TALK I get the message that due to high spam levels I cannot leave a message and I don't get the messages to read. If I click on PERMALINK I get the messages and can leave a message. Just does not compute.
O/T But I just wondered why when I click on TALK I get the message that due to high spam levels I cannot leave a message and I don't get the messages to read. If I click on PERMALINK I get the messages and can leave a message. Just does not compute.
O/T But I just wondered why when I click on TALK I get the message that due to high spam levels I cannot leave a message and I don't get the messages to read. If I click on PERMALINK I get the messages but still cannot leave a message. Just does not compute.
The pathways on which I must travel
Are constructed from dirt and from gravel.
It'd be a nice trick
To replace it with brick
Or with asphalt. I hate that damned gravel.
And so, in the back of my hovel,
I'm frequently seen with my shovel.
It's for digging that gravel
Over which I must travel.
And now I must level my gravel.
And maybe a G&T would help the soreness... You need to find some kids in the neighborhood to do that stuff for you.
Hell raised by Richmond on April 27, 2009 03:00 PM
Sent you one -- but your spam filter is very particular!!!
But am I to understand you are actually washing gravel? Seriously? You're picking up rocks and washing them and putting them back?? If that's what it is, that's some state-funded road project, isn't it?
...... for those of you who read the previous entry about the explorers and the trout, allow me to extrapolate a wee bit.......
..... while we all had a GREAT time, we were, in all actuality, a complete failure in our venture to catch/lure a fish into Glad container subjugation......
..... however, all was not a total loss......... we (the Royal We) DID manage to catch five healthy naiads.....
.... and if you have to Google "naiad" to figure out what they are, then consider yourself very, very lucky........ for they are nasty looking creatures.....
.... who knew that they lived up here in Tennessee in crawfish country??..... but hey, they definitely do..... and nary a crawfish OR trout fry was seen anywhere while on our fieldtrip.....
.... The Explorers didn't seem to mind much, though, and had a whale of a time throwing rocks into the river and/or bashing them against boulders to "see what was inside" once they fractured.... my goodness, what would I give to have so much boisterous energy!.... thanks for a wonderful visit, Bou!...
.... anyway, today has dawned bright and warm, and The Missus and I are off to visit the tally-man to get our annual tax refund..... and if the weather holds, I suspect the backyard hammock will get a bit of exercise this afternoon!.....
Those were truly the ugliest water bugs I have ever seen. They were MEAN looking!
No fish could be found to be caught, but hell we could have caught a kayaker or two and I got to use my first out house.
A good time was held by all!
THANK YOU! The boys had a blast. And here you and I were, wearing three layers, and there the boys were in short sleeved tshirts, jeans and barefoot... I asked them today if they were cold and Ringo said, 'nah, but that water was REALLY cold'. They seemed not to notice they SHOULD have been cold... they had such a great time.
.... I'm off to the mountains tomorrow with a few intrepid explorers in tow..... and we have high hopes of panning up a baby trout with nothing more than a Glad container and some crumbled peanut butter crackers....... it should be quite interesting, to say the least.....
..... more later as it all unfolds...... pray for hungry fish, people........ and fair weather...... pray....
.....I read this earlier this afternoon, and I could not agree more...... as head chef cook and bottle washer around here, I run a pretty tight ship...... not that I am a clean freak at all, but I do tend to lean towards the "tidy"...... both bathrooms are cleaned every Saturday (due to the fact that my Mother is currently enjoying a standing invitation to Saturday dinner here every week)..... and the rest of the house gets a once-over every couple of weeks..... and every October before all of the bloggers arrive, the entire house gets a complete scrubbing.......
.... but as with any household, there are exceptions to The Rules.... as an example, the blogroom/manroom is hardly ever cleaned.... that said though, I really don't do much in the blogroom that will cause the accumulation of much nastiness...... I will say that there is an absolute beauty of a cobweb in the northwestern corner between the wall and the side of my gun cabinet - and it is off limits to all cleaning..... after 8 years of growth, it's practically a buddy of mine now..... and quite pleasant to look at while pondering various complexities - or when you're just of the mind to pause and wonder.....
.... the other exception is my kitchen sink..... you show me someone who'll let fungus grow in their kitchen sink, and I will show you an absolute waste of oxygen..... dishes in there overnight?... no problem... sure, I've been known to do that from time to time...... BUT, once a day my kitchen sink gets a complete scrub-down..... year before last, Santa Claus even brought me a sparkling new ceramic sink to replace the old stainless steel one..... I suspect that he did that hoping to curtail my sink-washing activities.... (I washed that damn stainless sink at LEAST three times a day because it just always looked dirty..).....
... El Capitan is right about another thing, as well..... it is simply Not Cool to visit someone's house and comment on the state of their baseboards.....
... anyhoo, go over and pat El Capitan on the back for not wanting to scrub too hard...... I suspect he needs a hug.....
..... the snow is slowly melting around here.... and I have a huge pot of spaghetti bubbling away on the stove..... and courtesy of ceiling fans and central heating, the entire house smells of warm oregano, basil, garlic, and parmesan......
... I logged on earlier to check my email and just happened to notice that my sitemeter has ticked up to 776,776.... and since that is a pretty cool looking number, I figured I'd snoop around and see who ole 776,776 was....
.... a Googler, of course..... a poor, lost soul who searched for "Ogden Nash Tibet" and found his proverbial Pot O'Gold happily perched at the end of this rainbow....
..... so to you, gentle Googler, I offer you a "you're welcome..... I am most happy to be of service..."
Congrats on the BIG numbers. You do have a great site. I always leave it with a smile on my face and chuckling. That's a GOOD thing. Thanks for the venue.
Hell raised by DammitWomann on February 4, 2009 12:17 AM
At least you get googled for "Ogden Nash Tibet" I get googled for "assless chaps"!
:)
Hell raised by Oddybobo on February 4, 2009 09:30 AM
..... I'm absolutely and completely ready for springtime to come..... in fact, I remembered today a post that I quite literally "penned" nearly two years ago...... and since I plan on watching The Game tonight until time for bed - and there will not be any posting tonight - I thought a refresher might be in order.......
.... so here's one from late-March of 2007.....
... as for the game, I don't have a dog IN this race..... but it'll be interesting to see how it all pans out.......
... oh, and the original scribbling that I nabbed that photo off of is here.......
Remember seeing Shelby Foote interviewed some time ago on C-Span Booknotes. Said he did all his writing in longhand. Wrote THE CIVIL WAR: A NARRIATIVE, all three volumes, in said manner with a dip type ink pen. Said that method gave him time to dwell on what he was putting down on paper. Seemed to work well for him.......carry on.
Met him once some years ago in Memphis. Only to exchange pleasantries....He was a True Southern Gentleman.
No joke, it looks absolutely identical to my mother's handwriting. I have to somehow find a way to show that to you, which would involve scanning the birthday of Hanukkah card they recently gave me (my Mom is the Card Filler Outer of my parents).
..... it is true that The Internet is a wonderful, wonderful place.... stuffed full of gems and dross, you just never know what the next clickety-click is going to give you....... and while hope springs eternal every Friday around here, today was not as I expected......
.... and once again The Great Reader has fallen grossly inadequate in trying to convince me to dance on a Friday......
.... sir, WTF?..... KC and the Sunshine Band?..... 'BoogieShoes'?...... have you been sniffing the uranium again?....
.... brother, that stuff isn't even music, is it?......
..... anyway, here's a little something that blipped across my radio on the way out to town today....... not really danceable, no.... but it beats the hell out of 'Boogie Shoes'......
.... and for those of you who wish to sing along, feel free.....
ZZ Top
I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide
Well I was rollin' down the road in some cold blue steel,
I had a bluesman in the back, and a beautician at the wheel.
We're going downtown in the middle of the night
We was laughing and I'm jokin' and we feelin' alright.
Oh I'm bad, I'm nationwide.
Yes I'm bad, I'm nationwide.
Easin' down the highway in a new Cadillac,
I had a fine fox in front, I had three more in the back.
They sportin' short dresses, wearin' spike-heeled shoes,
They smokin' Lucky Strikes, and wearing nylons too.
'Cause we're bad, we're nationwide.
Yeah we bad, we're nationwide.
Well I was movin' down the road in my V-8 Ford,
I had a shine on my boots, I had my sideburns lowered.
With my New York brim and my gold tooth displayed,
Nobody give me trouble cause they know I got it made.
I'm bad, I'm nationwide.
Girl I'm bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, I'm nationwide.
..... I read this a few days ago and, well, I just couldn't help myself..... clicken to embiggen, of course......
.... my humble living room is home to two massive book shelves junk repositories that are chockablock with stuff.... so hey, Erica!.... I hope that this suitably tweaks your OCD!.... just like pets & small children, you have to FEED a good mental disorder to keep it happy!.... and I really hope that this helps!.....
... oh, and the magazines down near the bottom-right are mainly old Military History, Civil War, and Jane's Defence Weekly....
In the past few days I have been both the recipient and target of a number of bookshelf "offerings." It's wonderful, thank you. I'd have a field day with shelves such as those.
And now I feel I must share with you the Michael Korda quote that I keep taped to my monitor at work: "The biggeset fool in the world is he who merely does his work supremely well, without attending to appearance."
It has long fueled my mental disorder in positive ways.
Hell raised by Erica on December 17, 2008 05:05 PM
We have 3 bookshelves - I think a bit taller than those in our basement. We have built in bookshelves in our bedroom in an alcove on each well and the second bedroom upstairs has an entire wall of bookshelves. Last of all (back down in the basement) I have a bookshelf in my office.
There are 2 bags of books waiting for me to find time to take them to a local donation place because my husband tells me that having all these shelves full of books can not be a good thing...
I'll have to take pictures I think - you can tell me.
LOL.
Hell raised by Teresa on December 17, 2008 07:03 PM
Geeze... I really can't type tonight.
I meant our bookshelves were likely a bit taller than yours.
And the bookshelves in our bedroom are built into the wall...
I know there are more mistakes, but I give up.
Hell raised by Teresa on December 17, 2008 07:05 PM
Digging the pouch of Levi Garrett. In case of emergency, break glass, kind of thing?
I knew if I looked hard enough, I'd find a penguin.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on December 18, 2008 04:43 AM
Did you know that if you looked hard enough, you'd also find "The Joys of Yiddish" by Leo Rosten?
Hell raised by Erica on December 18, 2008 07:59 AM
I'll see your 2 bookcases and raise you 4 more! (and that's just in the house; there are totes full of books in the 'man-room').
Hell raised by Michele on December 18, 2008 11:45 AM
"Chesty"??
Hell raised by Alaska Kim on December 18, 2008 12:16 PM
Kim
Its a "Jarhead thing", and no it's not about well endowed young ladies.
Hell raised by James Old Guy on December 18, 2008 12:43 PM
Screw the books! You got Star Trek Fact Files and hot rod models!!!
Hell raised by JihadGene on December 18, 2008 01:11 PM
Erica would blow a gasket if she realized how many bookshelves and bookcases we have here at Chez Elisson, all chockablock with books and other assorted crap.
Aside from the credenza/bookcase in my office, we have three big bookcases upsatirs...plus two smaller ones in the computer room...plus a few in the other bedrooms. Plus three big ones and a fistful of small ones in the basement.
Plus a big built-in in the den. Oy.
We need more, for we have more books than will fit on the shelves we have. And right now, those books are all piled on our dining room table and in our three upstairs bathrooms (filling all three tubs, too) while our new carpet is installed.
Erica, be glad you are not here...you would start bleeding from the ears.
Hell raised by Elisson on December 18, 2008 03:04 PM
Hah! Star Trek on top of 'em all!
Hell raised by Cappy on December 18, 2008 10:24 PM
After the holidays I'll have to take a picture of MY built-ins. Holy cow are they a wreck. But we likes it that way.
Hell raised by caltechgirl on December 19, 2008 11:51 AM
If you really wanted to scare him Erica threaten to send the Zombie Librarian to arrange his books and his BRAIIINS! Some interesting shelves there Eric. I used to see Chesty's medals daily. They were in a shadow box display on the mess decks of my second ship.USS Lewis B. Puller FFG-23.
Hell raised by Rey B on December 19, 2008 01:04 PM
..... we live in a world of wonders..... and beasts....
.... whilst checking the blogroll this morning, I happened to notice that Oom Keesie was displaying a nice photograph of a strange creature that had visited him recently.....
.... and while not quite as impressively camouflaged as his, I couldn't help but remember the day that this guy wandered into the garage here last summer....
... here's another view......
.... and yes, that is a full-sized bottle of beer in the background..... looking back now, I'm pretty sure that he was after our hummingbirds..... a few years ago, I actually watched a mantis sit in the driveway and crunch its way through a struggling field mouse..... and it was not a pretty sight.....
.... but that's life..... sure, it's not like watching a lion rip the guts out of a gazelle, but still.....
This one was small but big ones are awesome hunters. They hunt above their weight.
Hell raised by keeskennis on December 14, 2008 01:53 AM
Mantids are interesting; one thing a lot of people don't know about them is that they won't eat dead insects. They only attack and eat prey that is moving. Put one in a jar with a dozen dead bugs and it will starve.
I am officially afraid of Praying Mantiseseses... or Manti? They are not big and you witnessed one eating a mouse? I had no idea they were carnivores. I always thought they were cool those 'stick bugs'. Now? No. They make my skin crawl.
The image of a praying mantis eating a mouse? That's enough to give me the Shit-Willies...it's like a scene from Starship Troopers writ small...giant bugs devouring mammals...Lord help us all...
Hell raised by Elisson on December 14, 2008 09:59 PM
Nothing wrong with the mantids (mantid is the proper plural for mantis); anything that eats other bugs is fine with me.
From Elisson comes this snazzy little Meme. Simply indicate the things you’ve done (or claim to have done) in boldface...
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
.... yeah.... twice.... and we sucked both times.......
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
..... my parents took me down to Florida to visit when I was 12.....
8. Climbed a mountain
.... many, many, many mountains......
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
.... no..... but that is only because they hadn't reopened it when I was there two years ago......
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
.... took the sleeper from Montrose to London and back many, many times.....
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
... built them and then slept in them!....
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
.... my last year of little league?...... I hit 32..... never hit a single one while in high school though..... I think I must have used up my freebies......
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
.... I taught a bunch of guys to climb when I first moved to Scotland...... a friend of mine had taught me while I was in Alaska......
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
....no, but good god, I certainly WANT to.....
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
..... did the Gulf a few times...... and the Bering Sea four times..... caught a very yummy halibut while fishing off of The Kuluk Clipper off Adak.....
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone SCUBA diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
.... only if skirting their airspace counts......
60. Served at a soup kitchen
.... no, never served...... but I have donated to them quite often since moving back to the USA....
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
..... Alaska, 2004..... took the Alaskan Railway out to Whittier and then cruised out to see the whales......
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
.... no.... but it IS on the horizon......
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
.... hey, what?.... I'm from Tennessee....
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
..... all of my fingers at least once..... playing baseball for fifteen years - as a catcher - well, your fingers are going to take a beating.....
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
..... and I never intend to do it again....
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
..... many, many times...
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
.... hung out and had a few beers with Sam Elliot once at DFW....... shook James Taylor's hand backstage in Edinburgh once after his concert...... enjoyed both experiences very much.....
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
....my Dad died back in 2001....
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
.... only once I started attending blogmeets and needed to be guided in via a friendly voice.... but now?...... it is a vital communication tool......
99. Been stung by a bee
.... more times than I can remember... and hated it every single time...... my three top fears?.... Zombies, sharks, and bumblebees......
100. Read an entire book in one day
.... most definitely....
...... life is a puzzle and a journey, or so I am told....... I see that there are a LOT of things that I still need to do before I pop my proverbial clogs and check out....... and that is a GOOD thing.....
Good stuff. I have this meme in my hip pocket for future use.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on November 25, 2008 11:17 PM
Zombies, sharks, and bumblebees, eh? I smell PhotoShop...
...and you'll have your shot at a total eclipse in August 2017, when one will pass directly over your house in Englewood, TN...
Hell raised by Elisson on November 25, 2008 11:18 PM
I need to do this one too . . . later though. Sleep is on the horizon for now.
Hell raised by oddybobo on November 25, 2008 11:49 PM
61 out of 100. Now its time I should also post my list so that I can get a score of 100.
Hell raised by Kevin on November 29, 2008 11:09 AM
This is really long list and it sure is very exciting to these things but I do not think that I will be able to get so much time out of my busy schedule and I wish luck to those who dare to do it.
Hell raised by Moshe on November 29, 2008 09:16 PM
...... I have always loved the music of Gordon Lightfoot..... last year I even made the trip up to Knoxville to watch him perform at the Tennessee Theatre........ but he, Croce, Prine, Van Zandt, and James Taylor have always amazed me...... their songs were magic......
..... and to that list, I must now add El Capitan........
..... the missus and I drove down to Chattanooga today and had a beautiful lunch with Richard of Shadowscope and his missus, Holder...... their two lovely daughters were in attendance as well, and they were a true pleasure to meet...... I have a feeling that both of them will end up being artists - judging by the coloring books that Big River provided them with as we ate our meal......
.... between listening to Big Folk talk, coloring, and eating, their enthusiasm (and anticipation) for hitting the Tennessee Aquarium had both girls itching to get going...... his eldest daughter had even busied herself during the meal by drawing pictures of all the critters that she hoped to see once lunch was over!....
..... so after a healthy meal and a few beers, we left them to go on their way...... it was a very civilized way to spend an autumn Saturday afternoon...... and I hope they make it up again soon.....
.... I then hit the jewelry store to pick up a piece that we'd left to be adjusted..... and then, on to the mall at Hamilton Place..... I'll tell you one thing, boys and girls..... the kind folks at Jared's definitely do not skimp when it comes to taking care of their customers..... in Knoxville, we usually frequent Carlyle & Co..... but when in Chattanooga?.... I highly recommend Jared's....
.... anyway, I'm beat..... and since I STILL haven't gotten the YouTube bug out of my system yet, here's another one for y'all to chew on for a while.....
.... I'm off to pour a Laphroaig, slip my socks off, and make fists with my toes in the carpet for the rest of the night......
His drummer (in the late 60s) was Opal's neighbor on Ridgecrest Road in Jackson, TN.
Hell raised by bitterman on November 8, 2008 10:02 PM
Johnny Cash was such a Bad Boy, but I liked him bcuz he was our local bad boy (SoCal)
Hell raised by DammitWoman on November 9, 2008 01:15 AM
Richard's girls are a caution, ain't they? Holder, too - a Colander Girl of the first water!
Hell raised by Elisson on November 9, 2008 02:28 PM
My boys love their girls. They are great kids... well behaved, laugh readily and are just a whole lot of fun. Richard and Holder are GREAT parents and wonderful people. You can see it in their girls.
It was damn sure nice to see the both of you. We did have a great time and of course by the time we finished the aquarium both the youngest girl and myself were DONE for the day. We've spent the great majority of the weekend dealing with whatever bug has been floating around. Yuck. Off to work now.
Hell raised by Richard on November 10, 2008 05:54 AM
prehensile toes, eh? The things we learn about our friends.
It was great to see you guys again.
And I meant what I said about cooking for y'all, too.
Hell raised by holder on November 10, 2008 07:31 PM
..... parmesan & onion roasted potatoes ala Eric, honey glazed ham baked with pears, and a big pile of Caesar salad...... yep, that's dinner tonight......
.... by the way, is anyone missing an umbrella?.... I ask because I seem to own one now.... which is quite odd, really.... since I most definitely didn't own an umbrella prior to this year's Hysterics at Eric's Shindig...... and not being a big proponent of umbrellage in general, I will be happy to ship it back to whence it came if someone confesses to having lost one....... it's one of those expandable jobbies decked out in a green and yellow floral pattern...... wooden handle, etc....
... and while I am oddly happy about my new umbrella being an addition to my collection of blogmeet souvenirs, I can't - in clear conscience - maintain possession...... so, 'fess up, folks....... and do it quick before it rains.....
..... you guys aren't going to believe this, but I have absolutely ZERO photos from this weekend's blogmeet..... (except for the one that Teresa sent me....) ..... bad, BAD host!..... how the hell can I have a blogmeet and completely forget to take photos!?....
.... I do have a video, though..... a surreal, spiraling, tangly sort of vodka-induced bongo/back-of-a-guitar showdown between Jimbo and John Cox...... good thing that Zonker gave me a pith helmet.... it went perfectly with the African beats that those whiteboys were churning out in my living room......
... but anyway, sorry about everyone's hotel catching fire..... hey, it wasn't MY laundry, but still..... I should have been out there with a bucket and a hose trying to keep all of y'all safe instead of snoring peacefully in my bed three miles away!.... although, Dax managed to keep a fire all night long in my back yard without the slightest singe....... so, perhaps I should just provide tents for everyone next year!....
.... so thank you all for coming to visit.... it was wonderful having you guys and gals here......
... and Confabulator, Yabu, & T1G for the phone calls!.... all of you rock..... oh, and those stains came out of the carpet just FINE!......
.... I'm off to stuff some bell peppers with my Secret Formula bolognaise and bake'em for dinner........ but, my goodness..... next October can't get here quickly enough, folks...... and yes.... according to The Missus, there will be another meet-up here next year..... so mark your calendars and start stockpiling ammunition........ and firewood..... and vodka......
Amazing. You host an amazing weekend-long party and then you thank us for showing up and having a good time.
Can't wait until next year!
Hell raised by Elisson on October 28, 2008 09:44 PM
"Secret Formula bolognaise"
EWWWWWWWWWWW.
Hell raised by agent bedhead on October 28, 2008 11:59 PM
Well, I have more pics - if I can find the time to get to them and send them out to you. (and if your computer doesn't go wonky and make them look strange ;-) )
Fire, schmire... we now have a story to tell for years to come. LOL.
Hell raised by Teresa on October 29, 2008 12:00 AM
What Elisson said.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on October 29, 2008 01:45 AM
Eric,
It's just too far a drive for me. I'm just gonna have to move to Tennessee.
Springtime, dude. Oktoberfest in Helen and the SWG Spring Festival. Having them two weeks apart makes it hard for a lot of people.
Hell raised by zonker on October 29, 2008 09:42 AM
When Obama is elected I hope he will spread the airline tickets around and some extra foldin money so I can be there with you partaking of fun in TennisShee and at the US taxpayer's expense! God breast Obama's America!
Great Reader, KIM Jong IL
Hell raised by JihadGene on October 29, 2008 12:48 PM
Thank you again, kind sir. Thank you for the hospitality, for taking care of my kid sister and making sure all was well for her and my unborn niece/nephew, for the guns and shooting, for the laughs, for the warmth of your home.
As always, one of the highlights of my year. I'm good for ziti next year too!
And Zonker... why don't they move Helen until Spring? Tennessee is so wonderful in the Fall!
Sounds like y'all had a great time. Sorry we had to miss it again this year. Sooner or later our schedules will work out and we can hook up. Speaking of which, shoot me an email. I actually have next weekend off for a change and we are looking for something to do. My new digs are linked to above BTW. Still blogging at Shadowscope, but strictly crime stuff now.
Hell raised by Richard on October 30, 2008 10:20 PM
..... been cleaning weapons for the better part of the day, folks...... hey, you gotta have your AR-15 ready, waiting, and freshly cleaned these days, right?......... my goodness, looking back now, I should have recruited y'all to assist on Saturday afternoon!..... then again, that would have been a serious downer for everyone involved......... it's hard to eat ribs when your fingers are covered in Balistol & gun oil........ but hey, it was great to watch you guys and gals plug away with firearms.......
...... but anyway, I am TIRED..... I suspect that three nights of going to bed at 3 and 4 in the morning have laid my sorry bones low........ and hell, I've found myself caught in one constant, repetitive yawn since 5pm today...... so links, a recap, and photos will have to wait until tomorrow........ I'm worn right the hell out......
.... by the way, have any of the other recipients of Recondo32's 'birthday present' been actively searching for info on that 'porn star'?....... not that I have, or anything..... I'm just asking for asking's sake........ and to see if any of you guys have some handy URLs........
.... blogmeets, good god..... you - quite literally - can't make this shit up.......
...... well, brothers & sisters, the last of the bloggers have departed........ and you know, there are times when parting really IS a sweet sorrow...... and this old house just doesn't seem the same once everyone heads for home......
.... still, though, thanks to everyone who attended this year...... ladies and gentlemen, wow...... what a party.......
.... oh, and I now finally own a real pith helmet........ oh yes, I most certainly do...... mercy......
.... more later once I've IV'd some orange juice.......
You and your wife are wonderful hosts, Eric. Thank you very much for once again ensuring that everyone had a great weekend. Hope to see you again soon!
Hell raised by zonker on October 26, 2008 08:04 PM
.... cheers, Zonker...... you are a wildman..... and thank you for the helmet!...... you are always welcome to come for a visit..... anytime.....
Eric, thank you so much for hosting such a great gathering this weekend. It is so nice to get away from normal everyday life to such great people in such a beautiful place.
Ya know, my hat would have been great for Halloween this Friday ;-)
You and Fiona get some rest and enjoy some peace :-) Thank you again!
Thank you for a great time, Eric. You and the wife outdid yourselves.
I cannot quit laughing at bits and pieces. I will forever quote Jerry, 'I'm a farmboy. Do I make you hot?" What a way to wake up in the morning... that didn't really come out right, but you know what I mean. Frickin' hotel fires... Heh.
..... Oddy, you are a treat, miss...... and you make one helluva batch of dessert.....
... Jerry, thank you for making the trip...... I hope that Jimbo's modeling skills met with your approval?..... and hey, NO ONE sits on my couch with as much panache as you..... you rock.....
... Bou, my dear, it was wonderful to have you and your cadre visit!...... and I got to feel Morrigan's baby kick!.... AND assist you with your icing duties!....
.... Tommy, you are the man.... thank you for the Zombies...... and I mean that will all my heart.......
Eric - you throw the very best of parties. Thank you once again for another classic bloggy get together. And also to Fiona for her fortitude in the face of a house full of guests for an entire weekend. LOL.
Hell raised by Teresa on October 26, 2008 09:46 PM
You and the Missus are truly fine, fine peeps and outstandingly gracious and excellent hosts...your hospitality and friendship (and your sweet baby soft hair) are so very much appreciated by me, and I strongly believe that you hosted the greatest cross section of humanity and goodness in the world in your home this weekend. An excellent time, brother.
Yessiree, the Bodyguard and I wound up driving straight through. It was one of those "don't want to stay there -- don't want to eat there" things. Ultimately we decided on getting something to eat and making the final decision as to whether to make the final push.
So, we are home, safe and sound and seriously wore out from the enjoying the absolutely terrific gathering of terrific peeps. Thanks to you and Fiona for your hospitality.
I could have done without the farookin' fire in the hotel, but that wasn't your fault.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on October 27, 2008 12:06 AM
I had a great time meeting all the new faces and seeing all the same old faces. Eric, you and Fiona are wonderful hosts. I welcome backyard fires...much better than hotel fires. Just Damn!
Hell raised by Dax Montana on October 27, 2008 06:22 AM
Ummm, were you aware that yesterday was "World Zombie Day?" you sent us all home so that you could lock up the house and hide behind the door didn't you? ;)
Hell raised by oddybobo on October 27, 2008 12:18 PM
The best part about the Hysterics at Eric's is the fact that you and Fiona always make us feel right at home.
Many thanks for hosting a wonderful weekend-long party. Good food, good drink...and, best of all, of course, a passel o' good peeps. We had a blast!
Hell raised by Elisson on October 27, 2008 12:36 PM
Eric - Had a great time as usual. Thanks for having us.
Unlike Jim and his Bodyguard, I wasn't tough enough to drive straight home - but got home safely just a bit ago...
Thank you and Fiona so much for being such gracious hosts. I had a most wonderful time... The hospitality at Casa de SWG is unmatched. And you look fabulous in a pith helmet, can I just say?? You rock. :)
Hell raised by Richmond on October 27, 2008 03:50 PM
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Hell raised by chanel watches on August 27, 2009 02:02 AM
...... ladies and gentlemen, I am very, very, very happy to report that there is now a large stack of firewood currently residing in my back yard quite near the fire pit...... I know that there has been much worry over last year's lack of firewood, and as a beneficent host, I aggressively rectified last year's oversight.... I did, however, ensure that the kindly, toothless gentleman who delivered it placed each stick in a direct line between the fire pit and a fairly good-sized fire ant mound.....
..... hey, what?... after all, rubberneckers, nothing is truly easy in this world, is it?..... every pleasure is joined with an equal and opposing pain....... that's just life.... and since we'll all be toasty out next to the proverbial woodpile, at least those fire ants will keep us cosmically balanced...... karma requires that, you know?..... besides, I'm giving you all fair warning that they're there....... so, hey, my conscience is clear!.....
..... I did nuke the remaining un-trapped horde of yellowjackets, though...... y'all can just consider that one a 'gift' from an incredibly excited host..... after all, I do I want y'all to have a great time!.....
... so with that, boys and girls, I'm off to whip up some meatloaf for The Missus & pour myself a G & T........ good lord, I'm itching all over waiting for y'all to get here........
..... oh, and my first visitor arrives tomorrow afternoon...... so I seriously doubt that there will be any posting from me between now and when I throw everyone out at Sunday lunchtime........
Damn, wish we could make it. My oldest girl turns 11 Friday night so this is her weekend and of course I'll be working as well.
Hell raised by Richard on October 22, 2008 07:39 PM
All packed and ready to rock.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on October 22, 2008 09:29 PM
Be there with bells on and whatever else I can throw together! Whoo Hoo! Just checked the weather - Bou is going to freeze her cookies off!
Hell raised by oddybobo on October 22, 2008 10:55 PM
See Ya Friday night!
Hell raised by Dax Montana on October 23, 2008 06:39 AM
See Ya Friday Night!
Just Damn!
Hell raised by Dax Montana on October 23, 2008 06:40 AM
I am SO jealous. Next year, for sure!
Rats.
Hell raised by Omnibus Driver on October 23, 2008 04:08 PM
Bro, sounds like you're well prepared. From what I've read, you're not going to have to worry much about the residual wildlife. Once the party gets started, they'll be departing in mass. Much like the israelites fleeing Egypt. Not so much to escape slavery but to find some peace and quiet.
Wish I could be there.
..... I'm not one for the arts, really, but I will say that watching this gentlemen perform this once was a high point....... he was magnificent.......
.... here's a small clip of it....... the dialogue is beautiful....... and O'Toole is incredible........
..... I'm off to watch 'The Mummy' again....... for the fifteenth time.......... I hope that you ladies and gentlemen have a wonderful evening!...
I was going to leave a comment, however, my ice is dry, so bugger it!
Hell raised by SpudKing on October 21, 2008 11:16 PM
Favorite lines:
Evie: Do you swear?
Rick: Every damn day!
Hell raised by Sugar Britches on October 22, 2008 08:42 AM
I don't know if you remember TFI Friday, the British TV show from the mid to late 1990s, but they once had Peter O'Toole on it for a feature entitled: "Peter O'Toole reads lines that are clearly beneath him". It had him reading the label from a bottle of HP Sauce and, I believe, the lyrics to The Spice Girls' "Wannabe". He read everything put in front of him with incredible gravitas, as though they were The Ten Commandments. It was fantastic.
...... many thanks to everyone who wished me well on my birthday yesterday...... and honestly, I am quite touched..... hey, you guys rock..... and Zonker, well, thank you too......... you're a helluva guy.....
... things were mildly festive around here for the occasion of me turning the ancient age of 36...... I supped upon chili, baked potatoes, and pineapple upside down cake....... 35 was great..... and I suspect that 36 will be even better.........
.... but really, I think that this clip from The Fast Show probably tells a better story of yesterday than anything I could possibly throw together tonight......
...... oh, and since Helen was just a few days ago, I imagine that most stories told after 10pm at ANY blogmeet sound very much the same.......
..... oh, and for the record?....... for the last two days, I have been mostly eating Brazil nuts..........
The last time I sounded like that I woke up with red toenails.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on October 16, 2008 01:50 AM
That's the perfect example of the evening discussions in Helen. Reminds me of a story I once heard about two fellows by the name of Sacco and Vanzetti.
Hell raised by zonker on October 16, 2008 08:05 AM
Ahem...36 is *not* ancient, Mr. SWG! I have about 3 weeks left at 36 and I don't feel ancient (even with becoming a grandma last week!)
Hell raised by Lisa W. on October 16, 2008 06:17 PM
..... back from Helen safe and sound...... the drive over - crossing the mountains - was amazing.... beautiful colors, bright sky, calm lakes & sparkling rivers..... and lots and LOTS of curves for Sylvia to enjoy....
..... many thanks to Richard for organizing it this year AND being head chef...... the steaks that he grilled out by the river were awesome..... and RSM's green bean casserole rocked the house.....
.... and it was great to see everyone again.... Rick, Georgia, Richard & his bro, Michelle, Kelly & The Senior chief, Zonker, Denny, RSM, Velociman, Key & daughter, and Dax.... it is impossible NOT to have fun when you're having a few beers with that crowd of people...
.... you know, Helen exists in its own surreal little world, ladies & gentlemen...... hell, just like a lot of us bloggers, really..... and in weird, late-night bullshit session, alcohol-doused ways, well, bloggers & Helen, GA are as natural of a combination as a leaf bobbing along the Chattahoochee......
..... I've spent the better part of this afternoon researching pain and trapping yellowjackets.... I've run the subject pretty much to ground, I think...... thresholds, volumes, modes, types, etc..... it's been an eye-opening experience.......
.... so far, my favorite quote regarding pain still comes from 'The Princess Bride'... but that's another story...
.... however, I did read of a scientist from the Carl Hayden Bee Research Center that curried my curiosity..... one Justin O. Schmidt.....
.... it seems that old Justin enjoyed spending his time researching the venom of various stinging insects and working out how it operates when interacting with humans...... AND how it feels..... mesmerizing stuff, to be sure..... hey, who among us hasn't been zapped by a bumblebee, wasp, fire ant, or hornet before?.... want to know the difference between the pain of a Bald-faced hornet's sting pulsing through your forearm or those little raised pustules you get from stomping on a fire ant nest?.... just ask Justin.... he's been there and done that......
...... anyway, it seems that Justin created the Justin O. Schmidt Pain Index to help us all rate our stinging-insect experiences...... it is a sort of pain scale for what different bites feel like - and the level of pain that is experienced.....
.... of course, this is all good and fine, and I applaud Dr. Schmidt for his good labors..... but as I actually READ his descriptions - ala wikipedia - I found myself thinking that either Dr. Schmidt was a complete masochist, or he was a little bit off his rocker...... or perhaps a little of both... here is an excerpt from the wikipedia article.....
Subsequently, Schmidt has refined his scale, culminating in a paper published in 1990 which classifies the stings of 78 species and 41 genera of Hymenoptera. Notably, Schmidt described some of the experiences in vivid and almost synesthetic detail:
* 1.0 Sweat bee: Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm.
* 1.2 Fire ant: Sharp, sudden, mildly alarming. Like walking across a shag carpet & reaching for the light switch.
* 1.8 Bullhorn acacia ant: A rare, piercing, elevated sort of pain. Someone has fired a staple into your cheek.
* 2.0 Bald-faced hornet : Rich, hearty, slightly crunchy. Similar to getting your hand mashed in a revolving door .
* 2.0 Yellowjacket: Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W. C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue.
* 2.x Honey bee and European hornet : Like a matchhead that flips off and burns on your skin.
* 3.0 Red harvester ant: Bold and unrelenting. Somebody is using a drill to excavate your ingrown toenail .
* 3.0 Paper wasp: Caustic & burning. Distinctly bitter aftertaste. Like spilling a beaker of hydrochloric acid on a paper cut.
* 4.0 Tarantula hawk: Blinding, fierce, shockingly electric. A running hair drier has been dropped into your bubble bath.
* 4.0+ Bullet ant : Pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like fire-walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch rusty nail in your heel.
..... quite a descriptive fellow, that Dr. Schmidt, eh?..... "like fire-walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch rusty nail in your heel?"..... that's hardcore, folks........ I hope that I never meet an angry crowd of Bullet ants anywhere....... but in my neck of the woods?.... I've been dealing with the hot, smoky, almost irreverent types all day long.......
..... see?..... my goodness, rubberneckers.... y'all have no idea the lengths, trials, tribulations, stingsslings & arrows that I put up with, dodge around, and go through to make sure that My Backyard in October is a suitable location for a festive blogmeet!...... next year I'm making Yabu come down a WEEK early just to help me beat all of the woodland creatures into some semblance of civilization..... doing this shit by myself isn't that much fun......
That dude's pretty good. I guess you could call him a sommelier of pain. My description of being hit by a baldface hornet is: SSSSSSSHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!
Maybe you'll get an early frost. That would clear out most of the critters from your yard. Except for the deer of course. They'll just saunder on in and drink up all your Scotch.....while your cats watch.
Oh you poor thing! The lengths you go to to protect us all is amazing!!
Hell raised by Michele on October 3, 2008 06:59 PM
i'd like to add one...
* 5.0+ Giant Cicada Killer Wasp: starts as a pyretic .22 caliber bullet entering your kneecap, spreading like a searing wave of grass fire across an open plain, finishing with a not so subtle oakiness of a pounding fatherly paddle.
here's the label: http://www.critterzone.com/magazineresource/magazine-article-cicada-killer-wasp-Sphecius-speciosus.htm
Funny you should mention this... today I suit up in my best homemade beekeeper suit and try to get rid of the hornet nest on my side fence. I hope I'm not allergic, as this would be a bad time to find out.
You are a good host, to make things un-stingy for your guests.
..... so, like, does everyone remember how to get to my house, or what?..... no one has asked for directions yet, so I am assuming that y'all are good.......
.... oh, and remember, turn left at the pillar with the eagle on top...... then follow your the road until you see all of the interesting people milling about in my front yard......
Last year, as I was driving (in the pitch black DARK) and Erica was on the phone with you, I was practically shouting at her...
ASK HIM HOW FAR THE ROAD IS FROM THE HOTEL. I DON'T REMEMBER!
She ignored me and kept talking.
How it is we didn't end up in Knoxville is beyond me. This year I'll bring my Garmin.
Hell raised by Teresa on September 25, 2008 09:56 PM
I asked . . . I think . . .
Hell raised by oddyboob on September 25, 2008 11:07 PM
"oddyboob" made a comment. What is going on at your site here? ;-) Can't make it this year. Hope you keep holding it for a while longer.
Hell raised by vw bug on September 26, 2008 10:02 AM
Have a great time!
Hell raised by JihadGene on September 26, 2008 11:22 AM
It's easy to find. Just drive north on I-75 until you smell the aroma of fine Single-Malt... then turn right.
Hell raised by Elisson on September 26, 2008 11:32 AM
So do I take the Arbroath road or the Brechin road?
Hell raised by Mark on September 26, 2008 12:33 PM
Holy crap - I totally said boob . . . heh.
Hell raised by oddybobo on September 26, 2008 02:15 PM
I'll have a Garmin. Or Sissy will. As many times as I've been to your home, what am I on... like 6 times including with my boys, I always take a wrong turn. BTW, you cannot get to your subdivision by taking the left right before you take YOUR left off that main road. I figured they were all tied in... but they are not.
Can't make it again this year unfortunately. It was all I could do to take the week off for Helen.
Hell raised by Richard on September 27, 2008 04:25 PM
Geez, I wish I could remember that. Had I started drinking yet? Well, I will try very hard this year to be a bit more alert and not fall in ditches, or require being carried by two people to my room. Sweet mama, I could hardly wait.
Hell raised by Erica on September 27, 2008 08:26 PM
.... you know, I've been at this blogging business a long, long time..... hell, it'll have been five years when September 10th rolls around this year...... and I can honestly say that I have done my fair share of photoshopping some of my fellow bloggers... and in turn, I have been photoshopped quite a few times myself.........hey, it's all in good fun.....
..... but one never knows where the mind of Oom Keesie is going to wander when it comes photoshopping...... he of crocodile manglings and lion maraudings...... I mean, how on earth could someone take this photo of me as a spry 19-year old Lance Corporal (taken from this post, incidentally), and morph it into the lewd, crude, and absolutely rude photoshop'd version here?.......
.. good grief, folks..... and me with my WarHappy Face on!?...... I swear.....
...... you know, I do so love me a good story..... especially when it involves Southern Grannies, loyal Southern Grandsons riddled with guilt & angst, Bingo, and happy, happy endings......
..... and just where might one find such a dizzying combination whilst surfing through blogdom?...... well, at The Bitterman's Place, of course......
.... so go now, and enjoy...... his Granny sounds a LOT like MY Granny......
I already read it. I thought she was gonna whip bitterman's tail. Son, you should've heard the things that come out of my grannies mouth. It saddens me to realize that she was before her time, and true this, if the intardnet was 'round and she was gifted the "blog"... That would have been a daily read for me...
Ahem. Good morning. Whilst you slacking about per usual, IE7 and Sitemeter decided to have a snit. Everybody's gotta kill the Sitemeter script on their site if they want other Bill Gates IE7 slaves to be able to see them.
Poem by Yo Mama Microsoft and blues sung by JihadGene
Hell raised by JihadGene on August 2, 2008 03:31 PM
I read about it on Instapundit last night. Decided to wait and see if anyone complained to me... no one did so I did nothing. Now all is fixed. I wonder if anyone noticed. heh.
..... you know, things have changed over time, my gentle rubberneckers......
.... once upon a time a Man could voice his fears, bear his soul, and cast his frail heart out into the vast openness of the mighty blogosphere without nary a peep of indignation, consolation, or trepidation......
.... and indeed, many moons ago I was such a passenger on this anonymous cyber-Greyhound Bus of Life.....
.... and a blissful little fellow I was, too.... merrily skipping along through cyberspace with my long, flowing locks of red hair (metaphorically speaking, of course) braided into exquisitely proportioned Auburn Pigtails of Innocence, Trust, and Happiness.... but ooooh, how things have changed in my nearly five years of blogging......
..... to what do I refer, you may be inquiring?...... how have my bared soul, my sharing of fears, and my imbibing of adult beverages at blogmeets thanked me for these five years of perseverance, fortitude, and occasional angst?....
.... I tell you, there truly is no justice in this world of ours...... sure, there was that whole chipmunk fiasco, but I could have sworn that he'd have forgiven me by now....... but to hit a man with zombies when he is least expecting it?..... well, that's just plain mean...... go over and tell him to quit it, please..... I frighten easily these days......
.... I'm off to field strip and clean my Bushmaster and sharpen my Cold Steel...... one can never be too prepared these days.....
A little bit of Kipling in reply to the story:
If your officer's dead and the sergeants look white,
Remember it's ruin to run from a fight:
So take open order, lie down, and sit tight,
And wait for supports like a soldier.
Wait, wait, wait like a soldier . . .
When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
An' go to your Gawd like a soldier.
Go, go, go like a soldier,
Go, go, go like a soldier,
Go, go, go like a soldier,
So-oldier of the Queen!
.... today at 2:47PM Eastern Standard Time, I assisted in the capture of a wily, quick & cunning woodland/forest/mountain/river creature.... and as of right now, I could not be more proud of me and my partners in crime.....
.... that's right, folks..... I, a man who is known far and wide for his non-fishing abilities, was instrumental in assisting Bou's Boys nab a 1-inch baby trout from the Tellico River while armed with only a plastic Glad container, three rambunctious (and steely-eyed Missile Men) boys, and a packet of peanut butter crackers.....
.... what a RUSH!....... Great White Hunters all, and that's a fact..... for it only took 89 attempts and ten dollars worth of crackers to finally lure a minnow to our awaiting bowl..... but the result of our persistent perseverance?...... the tossing of a few pebbles into the bowl for "habitat" purposes, poking at it with a dampened finger a few times, much "ooh"ing and "aahh"ing..... and then a quick return to the murky depths with hand-wringing and a splash.......
..... I tell you, folks, I've never worked so hard - and been so creative - for such a short-lived victory in all my born days!.....
.... but having said that?...... WE DID IT!.... and I'm in awe of all of Bou's younguns....... they worked like little Energizer Bunnies all day long building stone dams, flipping rocks over searching for crayfish, and chasing minnows in the shallows..... but in the end, WE DID IT!.......... it only took three years, but we finally did it....... we caught a minnow....... in a plastic Glad container......
..... Bou and her boys teach me something new about myself each and every time I take them to the mountains...... and today we caught a minnow..... and it rocked.....
You don't know 'bout them things call nets do you? Well, ok, other than internets. Hella cool time savers, but probably not as fun, as I can see you untanglin' said net several times...
LOL! I thought for sure I was going to have a fight on my hands about taking that minnow home. No way in hell was I going to let that happen, but after Mr. T set up 'the habitat', I just knew an argument was brewing. Thankfully we were spared!
My favorite quote of the day was, "I feel like Davey Crocket whenever y'all are around." That cracked me up. Oh and... "You've never seen one? Sure you have... when you see a rodeo..." I was like, 'WTF? We're city folk. We've never seen a rodeo!' Holy crap. That was funny.
Maybe I could help with that one. I'll give notice as to when the Star of Texas Rodeo is in town. Where better to see a rodeo than the capitol of the Lone Star State?
Life is a rodeo... You spend more time in the dirt than on the bull.
Never mind the fish. Put mom on so she can tell us embarrasing stories about you. It's a parent's duty. Like I did with all those corn storage cracks in NYC.
Great post SWG. Not earth shattering in the scheme of things to be sure but it's the little things mean the most. You have graduated to the position of MENTOR and that is a good place to be.
Thanks for posting this. Puts me in mind of my days as a lad when I'd visit Grandma's house. She lived almost literally a stones throw from the river, and the bridge that crossed over it.
Spent a lot of hours in the shallows, there, trying to grok the wonders of nature.
.... there has always existed a great, random, tragic, whacky equalizer in Blogdom....
..... always has been, always will be.....
..... you find something today that irritates you, you write about it, and then all of a sudden you find yourself with the bi-polar abstract raining down upon you from a thousand angles...... it is in The Nature of Bitching, actually..... it is somewhere buried deep in The Rule Book..... you complain, you get more and MORE of what you were complaining about....
......this salient fact is the very reason that I seldom bitch on my blog..... it just courts Bad Karma like a bloated corpse draws blowflies.......
.... that said, I have to admit that yesterday's flippant remark about my cats being too lazy to hunt has borne grizzly fruit today..... indeed, bloated & fly-encrusted corpses bracketed my humble home fore and aft when daylight dawned this morning.......
.... needless to say, it is quite frightening to see yellow jackets harvest protein while you have your breakfast.... it truly is....
.... and on the front stoop?..... a tiny, chewed, and spittle-dampened shrew that had definitely seen better days....... and on the deck (amidst a pile of peanuts - hey, ask the Missus) a juvenile rabbit with its throat torn out....... Bob was crouched, chewing, while I made the second pot of coffee this morning........
..... I swear, guys....... if each cat weighed twenty more pounds, I would definitely be on the menu....... thank God that I always carry a pistole and a sharp knife..... petting them is one thing...... but turning your back on them to water the garden is another feeling all together.......
...... but perhaps I am just projecting..... fortunes won and lots, and all that...... but I will tell you this..... sure, they have yet to take down a deer....... but one thing is for certain...... nothing is safe around here if it weighs less than thirty pounds....... nothing.....
That's one of the things I like about you, Eric. You understand cats. Not nasty, declawed, fat, indoor cats. But outdoor hunting cats. I'm hoping my kittens turn into brutal beasts like yours.
Cats can never be trusted. My Mother's tom (neutered) tabby got stopped up and seemed destined for the hereafter. She took him to the vet who give him something to unstop him (hair ball I believe). He also performed a check up and sadly revealed to my Mom that the cat had feline leukemia and had 3 to 6 months to live. Mom took him home and after he got unstopped, started feeding him all his favorite munchies to make his last days more enjoyable. That was THREE years ago and the only thing that's changed is that the beast is now 7 lbs. heavier from gluttony. Devious bast*rd.....
My kid has the cat well trained. When both were little my daughter lost a tooth and put it under her pillow. The cat killed a mouse and deposited at her door in tribute.
Since then my daughter has more interest in money than dead rodents. The cat hasn't coughed up the cash, though.
.... time ticks slowly sometimes, folks.... especially during these holiday-soaked, beer-fogged, frankfurter-gobbling, Hot Days of Summer..... it seems that all one ends up doing is eating, drinking, sweating, clapping at fireworks, and then sweating some more whilst waiting for blessed darkness to fall......
.... as for me, well, it is no small coincidence that I am a Libra...... Generous God, in all his forbearance, saw fit to see me hatched out as the leaves changed colors and a mood of general pleasantness flooded the world....... I am a child of frost and misty mornings....... but now, it is Summertime...... and add in a liberal dash of pure redheadedness and, well, a Great Friend of Summer I most certainly am not..... I'm a pastel and Autumn Breeze kind of fellow.... a kindred spirit of those hushed undertones that they talk about on those cheesy 2am make-up commercials.... Earth Colors, Gentle Air, and Calming Weather......
.... Eric the Red, I am, it seems...... either by natural selection or by sunburn, I am destined to be forever red.......
.... in other news, I spent a considerable amount of time watching the cats laze on the deck today.... two more relaxed beasts I have never beheld......... and as I watched them snooze, two deer walked by the birdfeeder in the backyard and sniffed at the nuts, seeds, etc that the birdfeeder held....... I tell you what, it is a sad state of affairs when a housecat is so well fed that it doesn't even rouse from its korma-induced lethargy to perk its ears up at a whitetail that's less than ten feet away.........
... that said, well, I can't complain too much..... I haven't exactly been burning up the proverbial track around here lately...... but hey, it IS Summer...... and I've been watering the lawn a lot....
.... I would, however, like to point you over to K-9's crib this evening...... he has been playing around with the old "100 Word Stories" and has hit a real dinger...... give him a look...... he had me at "simian eyes"....
Is there some kinda connection between watering the lawn and drinking lots-a beer? I always tell the wife those damn dogs are causing all the dead spots on the grass. As for the smell? I blame that on the cats.
Thanks for the directions to THE 100...good stuff!
Well, I suppose I should be glad that El decided to tag me with "Chip" rather than "Munk".
I have to say that the drabble format has made me rethink those lengthy stories from my youth. There are some who should be much pleased.
However the chipmunk/biker story episode stands. It's just a shame that I have to send Eric a plane ticket before I can tell it again.
..... I'm not really sure who instigated that dinner meet-up in Knoxville when I first met Winston, but I suspect that it was me.... I feel sure that he must have left some funny comment to one of my posts that prompted me to fire off an email saying, "ha!... next time you are within a hundred miles of Knoxville, give me a yell and I'll buy you a beer somewhere!"..... as it turns out, I ended up buying him a few glasses of red wine instead....
.... it's funny..... I remember him standing up to greet my Wife as we arrived.... he introduced himself, shook her hand and gave a little bow, looked over at me and said, "wow!... I expected you to be OLDER!"...... I laughed, sat down, and said, "that's ok, Winston.... I expected you to be YOUNGER!".....
..... we sat out on the patio of a nice little restaurant just off Kingston Pike.... he had a steak and I had some sort of Alfredo/parmesan pasta with shrimp..... we talked about The Vols (he'd come to watch a game the next day), Acidman, Elisson, Jimbo, and the rest of the gang.... we talked about the annual Helen Blogmeet, blogging, writing, his wife's Southern Literary Journal, his life, my life..... he was perhaps the easiest person to 'talk to' that I have ever met.... he had an ease about him that was charming and convivial.....
.... we talked and talked and told stories as we ate and drank... he even re-told the "Styrofoam Cup" story to us after dinner once the cocktails arrived.....
.... I remember that when the night was coming to a close and we sat replete as the Sun went down, he looked at me and said, "you know, age really doesn't matter when it comes to blogging..... when you read what someone writes, you get a feel for them.... and something instinctive kicks in.... age, politics, religion, they really don't matter.... and you just know that if you ever met that person, you'd have a great time... life is life - and there are more things that we have in common than things that make us different...... thanks for making the trip, you guys, I've had a lovely time.." ....
..... that's how I will always remember Winston, I suppose..... telling stories and watching the sunset.... his eyes twinkling when he got to the best bit of a tale.... his gravely voice and salt & pepper hair... how he seemed to enjoy everything that surrounded him - from the filet on his plate to the autumn pre-game air.... he was the kind of man that it was a true pleasure to be around....
... Winston Rand, folks..... HE WAS A PRETTY GOOD GUY..... and he will definitely be missed.....
I knew him mostly from the comments he would leave you and from visiting his site a few times...I'm sorry I didn't get to know him better. He sounds like he was a helluva good guy. It was such a touching tribute you wrote.
.... times, places, people, things, moods, sounds, smells, tastes....... these are the things that our lives are made of, folks....... and this is beautiful.....
..... there is nothing quite like reclining beside a lazy riverbank and having yourself measured by an inchworm.......
.... my ancient Egyptian figurines are seriously letting me down..... all three of them are sitting here staring at me..... and not ONE of them is offering a SPECK of creative thought..... it's pretty dire.....
.... Horus is particularly disappointing.... I always had such high hopes for him....... Sekhmet?... she was always a bit hit-or-miss, really..... and truthfully, well, I never held out much hope for the scarab beetle.... but Horus?.... I thought for sure he'd be one helluva go-to guy.... so much for renewal, I guess...... it is more than a little disappointing......
..... in other news, an old pal of mine dropped by this afternoon for a few games of billiards and a tuna sandwich.... and I am happy to report that I held the table well..... and in spite of him being a fairly accomplished shootist, I managed to only concede two games out of seven........(unlike a few days ago when I played ole Big Stupid Tommy and beat him like a rented mule.... sorry, Tommy, but 0-8 is just rough..... feel free to come over any time!...) ....
..... anyway, I'm off to rummage for something to eat for dinner..... it's quarter til 7 and I am hungry!....
Hell raised by jihadgene on June 21, 2008 11:17 AM
.... I do, of course....... but only a bit..... I love Tommy to death..... but hey, once the game is on, the Game is ON....... surely the Koreans, both North AND South know that maxim, yes?.....
You need to start carrying those figurines around with you, to alla them exotic places you visit. Like Knoxville. And Kneith-am-Glenladthbuich. Take pictures. Then post 'em.
.... oh, and in spite of me having culled the 'herd', there is another damnable squirrel on the birdfeeder this morning..... but hey, at least I don't have the same trouble as this intrepid fellow..... you rock, JT.... hit'em once for me......
My two favorite subjects African Geography and squirrels! Yes, not just any squirrel, but rather squirrels who have mousetraps stuck to their little heads and are gettin' the crap smashed out of 'em with a board, and all the while the wife is asking, "Did you get it"? ROFLMAO!!!
JG
Hell raised by JihadGene on June 11, 2008 04:59 PM
Remember Heracles and his labors? One on which was to slay the many-headed dragon, the Hydra. Which he set out to do only to discover that when he lopped off one head, two would grow back in it's place. You may have embarked on the squirrel version of that labor. Bump one squirrel another shows up. Bump it and another shows up, then another, then two, then three and soon you're fast burning out the barrel of your Ruger.
You may have opened up a can of worms here Pard. Lay in more ammo and hope for the best.
I noticed that as well, and during such a big political season, too. Maybe the dude just needs a time out, as we all do from time to time. Blogging could be rough, and I have to hand it to the political bloggers...they are a thick-skinned bunch.
Last I read, he was working his tail off so I suspect that he just overlooked the expiring domain and will reappear once life settles down a bit again. Hope he's well, tho.
..... as I tended to my flowerbeds and preened the garden path to the patio today, I did so with a heavy and aching heart..... I tugged at weeds with a furrowed brow.... I daubed the sweat on my freckled forehead with the crushed heart of a wake attendee.....
.... why so glum when surrounded by the Wonder of Nature and bathed in the sweet, sticky fragrance of the climbing honeysuckle?...
.... well, I read of Winston's shattered dreams this morning before venturing out with my pesticides and weed killers......
.... so go now, gentle rubberneckers.... go now and offer your cheery thoughts to that brave, talented man... I too once aspired to goat counting as a profession...... so I know that his pain is real...... and it is at times like these, that we must all demonstrate to Our Fellow Man that we have hearts filled with sympathy.....
I feel his pain. My Daddy always told me that I should try to make my living with my head..but no matter how hard I searched I could never find employment as a hat modal..
Ya know... you two could go into the Goat Counting bidnez together and have most of the state covered. Kill two dreams with one stone... or, something like that.
Thank you, kind brother, for the ornery mention and the pointer to my goat pen. It brings a tear to my eyes and a goat teat to my mouth just knowing there is another on the planet who has shared my goat enumeration fantasies.
Ever drink goat milk? As good or better than the bovine variety. And they say, better for you. Of course, I s'pose that depends on what they've been chewing on. Those damned horny beasts will eat damn near anything.
Goat counting? Sounds like some kinda IRS Agent joke GUYK would tell! Personally, I am gonna open my own inflatable line of sheep, complete with thong and see-thru Burkas! I figure to do well in the Tehran and Damascus areas. Hell, REDNECK has seven of them back-ordered for his own "personal use". JG
..... nothing tonight, children...... been doing laundry, snacking heavily, writing, and daydreaming.......
.... but feel free to chew on this one for a while in lieu of other content....... I'll be back tomorrow with photos, videos, and tall, tall tales from the latest Scotland trip.....
..... vintage, folks..... vintage.....
... more tomorrow!... the stroganoff is almost done!....
...hmmm... there doesn't seem to be anybody home... nothing on but a couple of nite-lights... nobody been 'round here for at least a couple of days... guess that 'splains the bird poop all over the chairs on the back deck... wonder if this key from under the doormat... yeah, i'm in...
...hmmm... doesn't look like they left in a hurry so it must have been a planned thing... that or the missus is a cleanup freak... the type that feels compelled to clean house before the house keeper arrives... she impressed me as neat and clean, but not to that extreme... oh, well... oh, several bottles sitting out on the kitchen table... and a few used glasses... [sniff sniff]... hmmm... scotch, maybe a single malt...
...uh oh... somebody in the next room... [hiding behind the fridge] [peeking out] ... damn, there's a weird guy with a ... wtf? ... a colander on his head... and he's talking to somebody on his cell phone... sombody named betterman? no, bitterman... yelling at him now something about No, I ain't your damn pal so quit saying that...
...he hung up now and is heading off to another room, so i best be outta here while i can get out the back and sneak off into the woods... but i've seen enough here that interests me... be back when the coast is clear...
..... good afternoon, gentle reader..... I hope that you are well....as for me, well, I'm just peachy...... and hey, that reminds me, I'm actually going to have peaches this year.... I'm stoked.....
... last spring I planted a little peach tree at the edge of the patio between two dogwoods..... the lady in the garden section of Lowes said that it would "look nice" with pretty pink blooms each spring.... and being in a rather delicate frame of mind at the time, I imagined that having a tree blossoming in pink set betwixt a bunch of white dogwoods would be just the springtime ticket.... so, as you do, I bought that baby and planted it the same day.... little did I know that peach trees and dogwoods bloom a month apart... (... I know that now, but hey, it's all good..) .... and what's more, I had NO IDEA that it would produce fruit after just one year!.... hot damn, I am excited... that little trooper is only four feet tall and it already has about twenty five little peaches about the size of acorns dotted all over it.....
.... and the grapevine I planted two years ago?..... oh yeah..... for the past two years it has steadily crawled across the railings of the deck near the steps...... I checked it yesterday and it is dripping with tiny little clusters of soon-to-be-grapes..... so I'm going to have peaches AND grapes this summer.... I can hardly wait....
.... I've always wanted to laze on my deck in the shade, find myself suddenly a bit peckish, and simply lean back, pick something off of a vine/tree/bush and slake my appetite in the most slothful way that I possibly could...... and this year, ladies and gentlemen, that hedonistic wish is just about to come true.....
.... anyhoo, speaking of hedonism, I'm off shortly - as in on Tuesday of next week - for my annual trip to Scotland to visit the in-laws at The World's Smallest Hilton.... as such, I shall be out of pocket until mid-month..... yeah, yeah, yeah.... I know that y'all are going to miss me terribly... but hey, I promise to come back with lots of stories about eating fancy sausages, photographing sheep, and sipping delicious adult beverages in the shadow of The Cairngorms... and probably at least one story about rain, fog, wind, etc.....
.... but yeah, since I will be offline, I hope to blackmail, bribe, coax a few bloggers into dropping by to post once in a while...... hell, I'd certainly hate to have you guys bored......
I loved my time in Scotland and would go back in a heartbeat. The Piper posted a photo today that I took while while in Aberdeen http://foodndrink.blogspot.com/ I hope you have a great time, but I will miss your posts.
Oh how I loves me some fresh peaches right off the old peach vine. er... uh... tree. Hope you have a plan to keep your aforementioned boids out of the peaches and grapes. They will play havoc wid dem.
Safe trip, agreeable weather, good health, cooperative sheep, easy hangovers...
You startin' another Tennessee distillery/vineyard/airport/haircare/nursery and tire center down there?
Grape Wine and Peach brandy... Rock on! Have a safe and enjoyable trip hoss. I've heard of and had Georgia peaches, are Tennessee peaches just as good, or is that a BCS/SEC thing?
"Peaches come from a can they were put there by a man
In a factory downtown
If I had my little way I'd eat peaches everyday
Sun soakin bulges in the shade"
Thanks for sticking that in my head, dude. See ya on the morn...
... I'm continually amazed at how quickly the world spins by..... it seems like just yesterday I sat here and peered out into the woods outside the blogroom and marveled at the blooms, naked trunks, and scaly bark..... and now?..... it is completely green.... almost overnight, the trees have sprouted leaves...... even the sunflowers that The Missus planted a few days ago are already three inches tall..... one of them even has the 'shell' of the seed from which it sprung clinging to one of its leaves...... amazing.... that shell is gripping that green little leaf like there is no tomorrow......
.... in other news, I was playing around with some dialogue today and stumbled up on something that I found incredibly interesting..... around here, in the foothills of Appalachia, I often hear people use the word "hit" instead of "it" when speaking..... I had always just assumed that it was merely a product of the basic hillbilly accent..... but as I was digging through the dictionary today, I happened upon this little nugget from Webster.com..... check this out....
"Our Living Language : "I told Anse it likely won't be no need." This quotation from William Faulkner's As I Lay Dying demonstrates a use of it that occurs in some vernacular varieties of American speech. It is used instead of Standard English there when there functions as a so-called existential—that is, when there indicates the mere existence of something rather than a physical location, as in It was nothing I could do. Existential it is hardly a recent innovation—it appears in Middle English; in Elizabethan English, as in Marlowe's Edward II: "Cousin, it is no dealing with him now"; and in modern American literature as well. Although most British and American varieties no longer have this historical feature, it still occurs in some Southern-based dialects and in African American Vernacular English. Use of existential it may actually be increasing in some places, such as Smith Island, Maryland, a historically isolated community. While older Smith Islanders sometimes use existential it rather than there, younger islanders almost always do. · In some American vernacular dialects, particularly in the South (including the Appalachian and Ozark mountains), speakers may pronounce it as hit in stressed positions, especially at the beginning of a sentence, as in Hit's cold out here! This pronunciation is called a relic dialect feature because it represents the retention of an older English form. In fact, hit is the original form of the third person singular neuter pronoun and thus can be traced to the beginnings of the Old English period (c. 449-1100). Early in the history of English, speakers began to drop the h from hit, particularly in unaccented positions, as in I saw it yesterday. Gradually, h also came to be lost in accented positions, although hit persisted in socially prestigious speech well into the Elizabethan period. Some relatively isolated dialects in Great Britain and the United States have retained h, since linguistic innovations such as the dropping of h are often slow to reach isolated areas. But even in such places, h tends to be retained only in accented words. Thus, we might hear Hit's the one I want side by side with I took it back to the store. Nowadays, hit is fading even in the most isolated dialect communities and occurs primarily among older speakers. · This loss of h reflects a longstanding tendency among speakers of English to omit h's in unaccented words, particularly pronouns, such as 'er and 'im for her and him, as in I told 'er to meet me outside. This kind of h-loss is widespread in casual speech today, even though it is not reflected in spelling."
... emphasis mine, of course, but wow!..... all this time I have assumed that my Grandparents were just speaking with an accent..... but actually, it is just an ancient (and correct) form of English......
Have you noticed that "human" is being pronounced more like "uman" these days? And what about "herb"? It used to be herb, then it became erb, and now it's back to herb. What's up with that? Can't we just leave those "H's" alone?! *Heavy sigh...*
Hell raised by DogsDontPurr on April 26, 2008 09:58 PM
Now I can't wait for the next opportunity to tell someone that he/she is full of sit.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on April 27, 2008 12:58 AM
Heck, with all the influence the Scots had in settling the area, I reckon this is just another sign of their frugal nature. Don't throw anything away as hit might be useful someday.
The study of linguistics is very interesting. I like the way the Okies drop their L's as in "I tode you it's code here."
In NM, my Hispanic students no longer spoke Spanish, but their language was full of oddities that they could not explain like: "Get down from the bus" or "Get off the car" (instead of out) or my favorite, "What day are we today?" Meaning what day is it.
My brother once let a streetwalker hop in his car. When he realized how nasty she was, she must have sensed his unease, because she said "Don't worry. Hit's clain." Faulkner wudda been proud. Hell, Anse Bundren wudda been proud.
Hell raised by Velociman on April 29, 2008 07:25 PM
...... not a whole lot going on around here this evening...... I spent most of the day reading, writing, and committing horrible acts of genocide against the various fire ant mounds out back while the lawn pixies mowed my yard.......
..... so since I have been so otherwise withheld today, I will take my leave and find comfier climbs than may be found here at the computer desk..... the patio is beckoning...... having said that, though, I can point you in the direction of a few interesting folks who definitely have things going on..... for instance:...
.... Sugar Britches has backslid.... and it is a beautiful, beautiful thing....
.... Boudicca gave me a splitting headache....... FIRST thing this morning....
.... Oom Keesie thinks I'm slothful..... hey, brother, I ain't slothful...... I'm just misunderstood...... I assure you that I am quite vigorous.....
..... The Piper is polishing his poetic side to a fairly bright luster...... brighter than usual, actually.....
.... Elisson has returned safe and sound from Nippon.... AND he has photos of himself in some odd silk dress and with matching waistcoat.....
.... and The Bitterman has an interesting post about 'being Southern' that definitely strikes a chord...... yes, sir, it surely does.......
..... there, see?..... plenty of lovely reading for y'all to do without me having to turn the proverbial finger!...... slothful, indeed...... humbug!....
..... so, with that, I'm off to sip a lovely 28 year old Dalmore and hold down the patio furniture......
... peace be upon you all..... oh, and before I forget.... hey, thanks for all the corn information you guys provided in the previous post...... I ate very well last night thanks to y'all.......
That, my Reubenesque friend, is not an "odd silk dress...with matching waistcoat." It is a yukata, the ubiquitous Japanese cotton bathrobe, paired with a haori jacket for extra warmth.
People actually wear these things out on the street, especially in hot spring resort towns. Damn comfortable, as long as you wrap it up securely to prevent Wedding Tackle Exposure.
I made the honor role! Hell, I ain't been this proud since i made straight A's back in sixth grade...course i dropped out after that, i figgerd...best go out winners.
.... another day winding down...... and it has been a very good day...... I'm off to sit on the patio and treat myself to a gin and tonic.......
..... and hey, hammock weather has finally arrived..... and brothers & sisters, it has been sorely missed..... of course, this lovely weather has arrived on purpose..... nothing ever happens without some sort of Divine Good/Evil purpose around here..... indeed, Mother Nature is just teasing us with this 80-degree weather.... she knows that in a week or so we'll be knee-deep in the sub-Arctic Scottish springtime..... so yeah, she definitely likes to play her jokes...... and come to think of it, nobody ever brings anything small into a bar around here, either......
.... for the uninitiated, I stole that last line..... 'Harvey'was on yesterday and I re-watched it..... what a great, great movie..... and I quote:
Harvey and I sit in the bars... have a drink or two... play the juke box. And soon the faces of all the other people they turn toward mine and they smile. And they're saying, "We don't know your name, mister, but you're a very nice fella." Harvey and I warm ourselves in all these golden moments. We've entered as strangers - soon we have friends. And they come over... and they sit with us... and they drink with us... and they talk to us. They tell about the big terrible things they've done and the big wonderful things they'll do. Their hopes, and their regrets, and their loves, and their hates. All very large, because nobody ever brings anything small into a bar. And then I introduce them to Harvey... and he's bigger and grander than anything they offer me. And when they leave, they leave impressed. The same people seldom come back; but that's envy, my dear. There's a little bit of envy in the best of us.
Elwood P. Dowd, 1950
.... kinda reminds me of blogging..... no?
... by the way, anyone know how long you're supposed to boil corn-on-the-cob before it is ready to eat?......
I prefer my corn on the cob steamed. I do it in a yok. Yes..a wok. Lay a couple of chop sticks across the inside to form a platform and lay the ears on top. Pour in about a cup of water, turn the heat to high, and put on the lid. When the steam starts puffing up around the lid, it's done. Doesn't take long. Maybe five minutes. I wouldn't boil it any longer than that either.
Bring the water to a boil, with a few tablespoons of sugar in the water. Add corn. Boil for 1-10 minutes, depending on how soft you like it. We do ten minutes here on the farm (old teeth, ya know). Eat.
WOK your COB own-ree about 5 minutes! Wokking it any longer should be considered self-abuse! No over-cook cob either! If cob over-cooks make good fuel for wockets maybe, or just gives it to those pesky in-raws (in-laws).
Ruv Yoo Looong Time!
Great corn-eater Reader
KIM Jong IL DPRK 90210
Hell raised by JihadGene on April 24, 2008 10:48 PM
I once stopped on the side of the highway to snag a few ears after procuring Isleton, California's version of crawfish. Figured I'd have myself a big ole boil. Needless to say Wifey was petrified I was buying consumables out of a bait tank in dink town in the SF Bay Delta.
Boiled the crap outta those big yellow ears. Ate them, too. Never mentioned the fact to Wifey that it never even got close to tender....cuz the god damn shit was a hybrid livestock feed.
You live and you learn......
Hell raised by bitterman on April 24, 2008 11:14 PM
Sub-Arctic - pffff, it's warm and sunny here today....
You can't go wrong on the corn - all of the above comments are good advice - try smearing the corn with a butter/chilipowder mixture and squeezing a lime on it for a Mexican twang.
Speaking of Mexican, I drank a margarita last night to chill out, but a gin and tonic with a twist of lime sure sounds good too.
Hey, If I can do Scotland in the month of January, you can handle the temps in May. I just wish I could have seen the flowers blooming.
Hose each down pretty good with butter flavored Pam, or you can smear them with real butter if you want, but real butter will scorch faster.
Strip off enough aluminum foil to wrap real tight; individually, that is.
Sprinkle to taste with any number of canned Cajun concoctions, Like Tony Chachere's or one of the Chef Paul things, or with your own mix of garlic powder, onion powder, dry mustard, cayenne, salt, and black pepper. Sometimes I just hit them with salt and black pepper and leave it at that.
Wrap in foil and roast in a medium hot oven for about an hour, turning two or three times. You can do the same on a medium gas grill, but just turn more frequently.
Hell raised by bitterman on April 25, 2008 11:00 AM
I don't what kind of tough corn you southern folks grow, but up in the great white north our corn is so heavenly we boil 3 minutes top.
Add a little butter after and it's like eating a little piece of heaven.
Hell raised by Quality Weenie on April 25, 2008 12:37 PM
Our Staple food.
1) Boil when bubbling for minimum 5 minutes and add your condiments to taste at minute 3.
Taste a sample.
Mirowave at low for as long as you like to get the right softness.
This even works for the cow feeds corn.
It is "Mielie" actualy, here corn is the stuff that waves in the wind and you make bread from.
But I am not a Great White Chef, am I?
Hell raised by kesskennis on April 25, 2008 03:30 PM
I could boil corn all day to make my Hubby happy - and he would still want it to be cooked a little more. ;)
Hell raised by Richmond on April 25, 2008 03:54 PM
I just boil it until it is soft..
But I prefer to microwave it. I shuck the ear down to the last shuck and leave it and the silk...wrap the ear in a wet paper towel and nuke it on high for a couple of minutes..always turns out pretty good..does a job on the worms though..
.... The Missus has requested bbq'd pulled pork sandwiches and my garlic baked beans for dinner tonight..... and since I have been a complete slacker today and not posted, I figure that it is just about time to start mining the archives.... hey, content is content, yes?.... besides, I've got to go and cook dinner..... so here's one from late-January 2006..... (and yes, I wish that I were at the blogmeet in New Jersey instead of standing around here stirring beans..... ) .... I hope that you enjoy.....
... last night was spent tossing and turning... two distinct dreams woke me in the early hours... around five, the most erotic dream of my quiet, simple little life was experienced... mercy sakes.... I nearly had a damn heart attack.... I drank some water and had a cigarette as one does, and then returned to sleep...
... the second dream was more confusing... it involved an old barn that my Great Uncle owned... an ancient and weather-worn structure... bleached gray from years of enduring all-weathers, it stood at the edge of his tobacco patch beside a stand of hardwoods...it was tall and had a stone foundation... each end was open as to allow tractors pulling wagons to enter or exit from either side...
.... many was the day that I rode on the back of a tractor laden with thousands of pounds of freshly cut tobacco.. late August usually... hot sun and dust... hands caked with the sticky dried tobacco juice...
... once in the barn, all of us workers would take our places... climbing higher and higher into the rafters of the barn... stopping at our allocated places and balancing ourselves on the beams.... Then the tobacco would start moving... the man on the wagon would take a runner full of stalks and pass it to the first man... then up and up until the runner reached the top man... on and on this would be repeated until the barn was slowly filled - from top to bottom - with an entire field full of tobacco...
... the top man was probably fifty feet off the ground... I was always one rung below him... see, the higher you were, the less work you had to do... and as I was very young and the Top Man was very old, we took positions higher up.. lots of times I would hear his head thump the tin roof as he tried to straighten himself or swat a wasp... I'd laugh and he'd cuss... which ended up making me laugh even harder... (I wasn't old enough yet to be allowed to cuss)....
... anyway, the point of all this is to get to the dream... after all, if I could afford therapy, I surely wouldn't be writing and telling these stories to YOU people.... so, on to the dream...
... the guys on the wagon were acting up... they seemed to think that the Top Man and I were having it too easy... not pulling our weight, so to speak... but unknown to them, he and I had a problem...
... now, here are the mechanics of the situation... all of us, as we fill up our rows, are slowly backing up all the time... legs spread wide with our feet balancing on a old, slow-cured sapling that had been worn smooth by years and years of use... it was a precarious situation, to be sure.... but here is where it gets worse.... as we inched backwards, our backs were getting closer and closer to the other wall of the barn.... and it just so happened that a group of wasps had built their nest in the very top of the barn where the tin roof and wall met... the Top Man was backing up to the nest and he wasn't really too happy about it...
... so the guys down below are giving us grief... me and the Top Man were eyeball to eyeball with those wasps... the nest was a large one... about the size of a grapefruit... and it literally crawled with probably 150 red wasps...
... I asked the Top Man, since he had more experience, what we were going to do... he winked at me and said... "those fellers down on the wagon had better shet up... they're ˜bout to see why I'm REALLY the Top Man... but don't you worry about them bees, boy... we'll be just fine up here... "
.. I watched in amazement as he took off his battered John Deere baseball cap and gingerly turned himself around on the spindly rafters.... deftly holding on to the tin, he moved both feet to the same support, spun himself, and then balanced again facing the opposite direction... and in one movement, he cupped his baseball cap over the entire nest and squeezed it hard.... he pulled it away from where it was attached to the wall and then released it... as long as I live, I will never forget watching that cap fall... it was almost in slow-motion...
.... it was like watching Slim Pickens ride that A-bomb.. the cap dropping directly towards the wagon... the doe-eyed farmboys looking up at us and laughing....
... sheer pandemonium erupted when that cap hit the wagon.... grown men and boys leaped from the wagon as a cloud of pissed off wasps began swarming... hardened, tobacco-chewing workmen loped like schoolboys and screamed like girls...
... me and the Top Man... we watched it all as it happened... safely perched as chaos ensued...
... so here I sit this morning.. half a pot of coffee down me, and I still can't figure out why I dreamed of the Top Man... and I shudder to think of the wasps..
You've reminded me of the old men on the dairy farm who'd, with their work callused hands, grasp the wasp nest that terrified me, and laughing, gently squeeze it till not a single wasp survived......then cast it contemptuously to the ground while looking me in the eye........never at their hand.
Puttin' in tobacco is a pure shit load of fun, is it not? Especially when the person passin' the stick up to you messes with you a little bit and won't let loose of the stick. You pull up on that stick and damned near pull yourself down to the ground...
I watched a scrap in a tobacco barn one day between my cousin, and a hired hand over a 5$ bet on whether the human body was made up of 80% water.
We never could drain one to find out, but they still fought over the 5$...
My excuse for not being in New Jersey is I'm on call, holding down the fort. A dirty job, but someone's gotta do it. I've tried to con other bloggers into doing it, but no takers. Dang.
Red, I'd wager the human body is 80% water, but the brain is something else. In some cases it's over 90% poo. Not mentioning any Project Managers in particular, unless you know of some likely candidates.
.... no content tonight, hammerheads (or for the past week/month, actually)....... and I am terribly sorry....... been working on some other stuff instead....... but I will leave you guys & gals with the song that has been on repeat here at The Compound while I've worked...... I've found that Prine in the background allows me to be quite productive.......
..... and there is just something about fingerpicking that soothes the soul....... I posted it about a year ago, I think, but it still calms me...... so, enjoy..... or not.....
.... either way, tomorrow is the 14th anniversary of my being wed to The Missus...... so just prepare yourselves for photographs.... lots and lots of photographs........ 14 years, my goodness...... I was seven months away from turning 22 at the time we got hitched......... now I'm closing in on 36 with a vengeance........ how the time does fly......
Fourteen years. Wow. You got married... just a couple months before I got pregnant with my eldest. It was a life changing year, 1994. A very very good year.
.... long, long ago I was broken from the urge to "join" just about anything...... but having said that, this right here sounds like a pretty damn good idea.....
.... I was graced with a visit from The Blogson yesterday evening, and an enjoyable visit it was.... ole RSM stopped by for some pizza & drinks before continuing his northeasterly amble.... we dined on a Domino's Hawaiian Feast pizza with extra provolone.... and then sat on the couch, sipped a beautiful 28-year old Dalmore, and swapped a few hours worth of military tales.... all in all, not a bad way to spend a few hours..... excellent conversation and an extraordinary scotch...
..... as for today, well, I have a cauldron of my bolognaise sauce simmering away on the stove..... so this cool, gray day will be splashed with a giant dollop of yummy color this evening....
.... trust me, folks, gray days seem much less gray once you apply a proper spaghetti sauce to them.....
.... no, really.... you should try it some time and see.... then again, some sort of pie might work as well.....
I hope he was looking good and getting himself reoriented to "normal" now that he's out of OTS.
I'm glad to hear you guys spent some time hanging out. I like the thought of spaghetti sauce... hmmm... I think I must have some for dinner this week. Tomorrow and Thursday are supposed to be pretty yucky. Of course I am going to do pulled pork tomorrow. YUM.
Domino's and scotch. Now there's a combination.....
Hell raised by bitterman on March 18, 2008 03:57 PM
It just so happens I will be eating Roasted Leftover Chicken, Macaroni, and Tomato Sauce a la Aunt Beatty this evening once I get home...and as if it wasn't appealing enough, dump in a pinch of tomato sauce solidarity with a friend, and I am downright ravenous!
.... Hell hath frozen over, I'm afraid.... since I am about to do a dreaded meme.....
.... Elisson has tagged me - and since I am absolutely and completely without creative juices this afternoon, I'll play along..... here goes... according to Big E, here's the "drill"....
Here’s the drill:
Look up 15 of your favorite movies on IMDB.
Take a quote from each and post them for your readership to properly identify.
As your movie-savvy readers correctly identify the quotes’ cinematic origins in the comments, strike out the quotes and name the commenter who answered correctly.
If the commenter also identifies the name of the speaker (the character or the actor), he or she gets bonus points in the form of a link to his or her site.
Simple, huh?
OK, let’s see what kind of Movie Buff you are. Oh, and no fair using IMDB or other Internet-related sources. It’s more fun if you try to figure these out from memory:
..... here you go, rubberneckers...... guess away.....
1. "Trouble? Eh, what trouble" Robert Redford - "Jeremiah Johnson" ... reader Leelu
2. "I'm trying to be a gentleman here. Now, get on your knees, put your ass in the air, and don't move until I say to." "The Two Jakes" - Bou from Boudicca's Voice...
3. "Why, by God, girl, that's a Colt's Dragoon! You're no bigger than a corn nubbin, what're you doing with all this pistol?"True Grit - John Wayne as Rooster Cogburn - Snuggharbor
4. "My darling girl, when Ramses destroyed Syria, that was an accident. You are a catastrophe!" "The Mummy" - Sandy
5. "My dad wanted me to be a baseball player" "The Natural" - reader TBird....
6. "Jesus Palomino, a Nazi. I knew it, you're all in cahoots. Well let me tell you something, Mr. Heinie Kraut, I fought your kind in the great war, and we kicked the living shit out of you!" "1941" - Captain SQL!...
7. "I can't stand these things... it's like drinking coffee through a veil." "Charade" - Teresa of Technicalities...
8. "You don't like it, do you Rocco, the storm? Show it your gun, why don't you? If it doesn't stop, shoot it." "Key Largo" Jean from Beauvoir Glass....
9. "Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges. I don't have to show you any stinking badges." "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre" - Primordial Slack
10. "Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, "In this world, Elwood, you must be" - she always called me Elwood - "In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant." Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me." "Harvey"..... Beauvoir Glass....
11. "What the hell do you mean "cowardly blacks?" They died on your side, didn't they? And who the hell do you think is coming to wipe out your little command? The Grenadier Guards?" "Zulu" - Hoosierboy
12. "Then he showed those men of will what will really was." "The Usual Suspects" - Reader Tommy
13. "All your life you live so close to truth it becomes a permanent blur in the corner of your eye. And when something nudges it into outline, it's like being ambushed by a grotesque." "Rosencrantz And Gildenstern Are Dead" - The Bitterman from The Smoking Toaster...
14. "With a bit of a mind flip." "Rocky Horror Picture Show" - Eric from YouBitch!...
15. "Well, he should have armed himself if he's going to decorate his saloon with my friend." "The Unforgiven".... Joe, Mr. Beerbrains....
Can't believe nobody's gotten Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven. No. 15.
And I know Jean's got Harvey right.
There's a couple that I'm thinking on, but I can't figure out where they are from... most, I'm lost.
Hell raised by That 1 Guy on March 14, 2008 09:10 PM
Joan, that you did on #9 (though Blazing Saddles *did* a take off on that line.) ... I knew there was a "real" movie for it, but for the life of me couldn't remember what it was, so went with the Mel (When in doubt,always go with the Mel!).
..... you know, when seeking Truth, it is always best to first consult the Internet.... especially blogs..... even after more than four years of propping this beast of a website up every single day, I am still continually amazed by the wonders that I discover....
.... good god, ladies and gentlemen, I do so love the Internet...... and hey, I look pretty good in a kilt!....
.... (but for the record, I have really only worn a kilt once..... and was banned early the next morning from every wearing one again due to behavioral problems the night before....) .....
.... I let Sylvia stretch her legs yesterday and piloted her up to Knoxville to have dinner with a few local bloggers there.... and it was a very enjoyable evening that unfortunately ended too soon, but I am glad that I went..... it was nice to meet a few new bloggers AND to finally put faces with some names that I've read in cyberspace for years and years....... say what you will, but blogging is one helluva interesting social experiment.... and it is always surprising......
... blogging may be a time-wasting hobby, but blogmeets are never boring!.....
.... in other non-related news, I have just been informed that I am to spend the larger part of today loafing in and around the vicinity of Cleveland, Tennessee with The Missus.... evidently there is some sort of "Fresh Market" that has just opened up down there and it has been slated for an "exploratory visit" by our ever-vigilant recon team..... oh, and she wants to watch the latest Nicholas Cage vehicle at their cinema, too....
.... so, gentle rubberneckers, that is my Plan Of The Day.... peruse some fresh broccoli, pick up a salmon steak or two, and wallow in a juicy conspiracy theory movie while The Missus lusts silently for Mr. Cage.... hey, it could be worse, I guess..... I could have to sit through another Daniel Craig flick..... and really?.... I truly dig watching the clientele of high-priced fresh markets pick and choose their organically grown papayas..... it is a wonderfully grounding experience....... I just wish that it were warm enough to drop Sylvia's top for the ride..... but spring will be here soon!....
Nick Cage doesn't really do it for me, but I really did have fun with that movie. Its kind of an Indiana Jones genre and I love those action poking fun flicks.
(...and remember what Gunsmith Bob said about Nicolas Cage: "He couldn't act like he was on fire if you doused him in gasoline and tossed him a match. :D )
Good meetin' ya, Eric. We'll have to get together down your way sometime. My wife and I love Athens and Etowah and Madisonville and Cleveland.
Hell raised by Les Jones on January 19, 2008 07:10 PM
Hope the trip went well. We've got one of those Fresh Market stores here now -- all the rage. It is apparently very important for ones continued social rise to be seen there squeezing the shallots.
While searching for remedies for gout, I ran across this recipe for a totally disgusting veggie haggis. Though you or The Missus might be interested, particularly if you celebrate Robbie Burns day and night.
Hell raised by Winston on January 20, 2008 07:19 AM
Cool - blog meet fun and games.
I haven't seen any of the NT movies... hope you enjoyed it. :-)
Hell raised by Teresa on January 20, 2008 05:12 PM
I like ol' Nic' alright. I mean hell, if you can survive bein' on a plane with that many crazy folk... and feds... You're ahead of the game. Airborne whippin' ass right straight out of the bar... I dig it. Glad I wasn't in that fight.
Shit, I talk too much... switchin' keyboard back to lurker mode... You're welcome.
Hell raised by RedNeck on January 20, 2008 07:41 PM
Nick Cage's latest movie for Disney sucked. It was so damned contrived and hokey. I swear--- Disney can just about wreck anything these days. How could they fuck up a Nick Cage movie is beyond me.
Jealous about the Lightfoot. Take video, post it!
Hell raised by Sine.Qua.Non on January 21, 2008 10:33 PM
I wish I had not listened. It appears that will replace the earworm companion I've had for several day -- Raindrops (original by BJ Thomas from Butch Cassidy...), and already I'm thinking it was a bad tradeoff, other than just the change of pace, of course...
Hell raised by Winston on January 14, 2008 07:02 AM
A kickass tune...
And it sure beats "Friendship," by Cole Porter, as an earworm...
Hell raised by That 1 Guy on January 14, 2008 06:47 PM
You and Vman spendin' a bunch of time bondin' these days? I mean, comparin' barber stories... Heyzus Christe, did he shave his head? Did you?
Hell raised by RedNeck on January 14, 2008 07:53 PM
Now all you have to do is get a job so you can be like the rest of us. Then you, too, can go to work to earn the money to buy the food to get the strength to go to work to earn the money to buy the food to get the strength to go work to earn the money to buy the food to get the strength to go to...
Sounds like fun, huh?
Hell raised by zonker on January 16, 2008 01:48 PM
.... as strange as it sounds, my humble home will be the focus of my family's Christmas celebrations this season.... and due to scheduling conflicts, prior engagements, and working rotations among all of the participants, tonight has been deemed to be The Night.... gifts will be exchanged and a meal - cooked by my own hot little hands - will be wolfed down..... and I'll probably end up downing a few gin and tonics myself....... so that is today....
.... last night, however, I was roped into watching back-to-back Seinfeld episodes until time for beddie-bye.... of particular note were the "Festivus" episode and the one where Elaine sends out those Christmas cards where she was accidentally baring one of her nipples..... somehow I can't help but find the irony in "Christmas" being at my home on the annual date of "Festivus"....
.... and depending on how well dinner goes down, we may or may not end up having an "Airing of Grievances" ..... I did buy some kickass gifts for everyone, though, so that might keep them distracted from the quality of the roasted potatoes & grilled pork loin.... hey, getting lots of free stuff once a year tends to leave people distracted, so it might just work....
.... I will confess one little thing though - I had initially been tasked with roasting a turkey for Christmas dinner..... and I had one too.... a nice, big, fat hen..... the problem was that she was also frozen stiffer than a damn anvil..... I never knew that turkeys could freeze that hard, folks...... so my 12lbs of rock-hard turkey did not thaw out in the two days that I had allotted... thus the pork loin substitution at the last minute.....
.... so I have a question for Mr. Debonaire about the proper thawing of turkeys.....
... see, the label says that letting the frozen bird thaw at room temperature is strictly verbotten and will likely cause all of your holiday guests to die of some weird intestinal ailment before New Years ala Monty Python's "Meaning of Life"...... BUT keeping the damnable bird in the fridge to let it soften up takes aproximately 18 fucking months.....
.... and so the question is, what is the simplest way of thawing a frozen turkey in the shortest time possible?.... or do I just have to practice my Russian accent, open the fridge every so often, poke it with a trowel and pretend it's a Siberian mammoth?...... the label lied, Mr. Debonaire..... so what's the scoop?....
... oh, and Happy Festivus!.... no turkey tonight, friends..... we be eating high on the hog instead.... but that was not the plan....
Man, I'm having no freaking luck leaving messages on your blog for several days now. Getting all kind of strange messages and then my masterpiece comments never show up. Anyway... maybe this one will go...
The Merriest of Christmases to you and your Missus...
Hell raised by Winston on December 23, 2007 09:47 PM
Assuming the turkey is in plastic, the fastest way is to cover the turkey in cold water, changing the water every 30 minutes. It should thaw.
If you're up tonight, you can do it until you go to bed, and then throw it in the fridge. Get up in the morning and put it back in your sink and start again, turning the bird periodically.
My turkey is in the oven as we speak, but it spent 5 days in the refrigator getting to the "thawed" point. Even after all that time the innards were still icy, had to dig those suckers out resulting in a frost bitten hand from jamming them up the turkeys butt
Hell raised by Junebugg on December 23, 2007 11:34 PM
"...tonight has been deemed to be The Night..."
In that case, Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones. And remember, when in doubt, just face the music and dance.
Hell raised by Erica on December 24, 2007 06:28 AM
"...tonight has been deemed to be The Night..."
In that case, Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones. And remember, when in doubt, just face the music and dance.
Hell raised by Erica on December 24, 2007 06:28 AM
Mu.nu dooshbags, it doesn't take, then it decides to take twice. That's real mature.
Hell raised by Erica on December 24, 2007 06:30 AM
I'm gonna try this one more time...
Here's a hot tip you might want to try... or not...
Sit that big frozen bad boy on a layer of bricks. Peel the plastic wrapper from around his rear end. Light a propane torch and stick it up the bird's ass, going slowly and carefully lest you douse the 1700 degree flame. Once fully inside the body cavity, the whole operation should take about 5 minutes per kilo. Those who have been brave enough and stupid enough to try this on a live bird AND live to tell the story, have found that about 3 minutes per kilo will do the job.
If that polyethylene prophylactic starts to smoke, smolder, or melt, reduce torch tip temperature to 1500 and proceed with caution. If for some reason this one-step thaw and cook operation does not meet expectations and the bird turns out to be for shit, take the whole thing, torch and all, about 100 yards away from your house and bury it about 30 inches below ground level so the possums and raccoons can't scratch it up. Then cook a pork loin... or go to Shoneys...
Y'all have the Merriest of Christmases!
Hell raised by Winston on December 24, 2007 06:44 AM
Funny, I got to watchin the same episodes -- me and my son went lookin for an aluminum pole yestiddy, and he kept telling his mother and sister, "I got a lot of problems with you people!!"
I have the perfect solution to the frozen turkey dilemma.
Rib Roast.
Hell raised by wavemaker on December 24, 2007 10:34 AM
Merry Xmas to you and all of the Straight White Clan. Hope to catch up with you and Mrs SWG again before too long.
IMAO, that card with Elaine is appropriate for any holiday.
Hell raised by Cappy on December 24, 2007 05:02 PM
You could slip down to Georgia and get a bunch of that red clay. Make a ball of the turkey inside the red clay and then just bake the whole thing..be sure to salt and pepper the frozen bird first though. After it bakes until the clay is hard just bust it open with a ball peen hammer..scoop out that baked turkey..throw it away and serve the pork chops in your new baked clap bowls..
.... well, boys and girls, the tree is up and decorated..... but I had to put my foot down and drew the line at draping tinsel from ceiling fan to ceiling fan..... how weird was that idea?....
... anyway, the living room is pretty damned festive, if I do say so myself.... white Christmas tree decorated nearly entirely with penguin ornaments, but hey, at least the tree is up..... let the present wrapping commence!....
... in other news, I see that both Erica and Big Stupid Tommy have joyously tagged me with a Christmas Meme..... and as I sat down to complete the dastardly thing, I suddenly remembered that I was off the hook since I was gang-tackled by a beauteous group of ladybloggers LAST YEAR and forced to do that meme..... so there, Erica & BST.... consider my meme obligation paid in full.... muahahahahha!!....
..... an interpretation, please?....... this song has been playing nearly non-stop through The Compound tonight, but I still have no idea what the hell Mick is saying........
.....even when I saw them perform this at Turner Field back in 1992, all I could muster up to scream towards them as they performed was something about "you took the shot away" as I sloshed my beer and waved my Rolling Stones baseball cap........
.... "Forty Licks", indeed........ I think Jagger was sweet on one of those black lasses who were doing the back-up singing, if you ask me......
.... alas, however, I still have no idea what in the Great Living Hell that he was talking about in this song..... but still, 'tis a bit funny that a song can be found so enthralling to one's psyche when one has no earthly clue what the singer is even talking about.......
... I suspect that fans of "classical" music suffer from the same form of snobbery (or psychosis)...... they don't understand it, but they still love the hell out of it.......
..... human nature in action, I suspect...... or not, I guess..... it depends on how you look at it....
It's quite obvious he's singing about the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand in Sarajevo.
"War, children, it's just a shot away."
Duh.
Hell raised by Erica on December 19, 2007 09:55 PM
Ahh, but the shelter from war (love) is just a kiss away.
Interpretation? If someone had kissed him instead of shot him, we'd have had two fewer world wars but, quite possibly, much higher attendance at gay pride parades...
This, I think is a slightly different version from the original. But I think the line you're referring to is: "It's just a shot away." At the time the song was written, I think that may have been a heroin or speed reference.
I love my Rolling Stones. Paid $750 to see them at the Hollywood Bowl a couple years ago. Oy!
Hell raised by DogsDontPurr on December 20, 2007 01:03 AM
Oops! I may have spoke too soon. I googled the lyrics and it was not quite what I expected. Nevertheless, I have still always thought there was a double entendre heroin reference in Gimme Shelter.
Hell raised by DogsDontPurr on December 20, 2007 01:08 AM
The lines in question are "War, children, it's just a shot away" and "Rape, murder, it's just a shot away". Presumably something along the lines of one person can change history through a single bullet. Not entirely sure though.
.... good evening, rubberneckers, I hope that you are all well...... as for me, well, all is running smoothly......
.... and since I am not in the mood to write at this very moment, I thought that I would point y'all to a few wonderfully written posts that I have enjoyed over the past few days.... talented people, all.... and well worth your blog-reading time...... so humor me.....
.... Sugar Britches has a post that almost all of you will identify with.....
.... Boudicca has a wonderful post that is full of her Humanity, and is well worth reading.....
.... Jimbo is off his meds again (or perhaps ON something very nice)... and the result is exquisite.....
.... The Bitterman from The Smoking Toaster is showing off his well-polished gift of gab and it is a beauty to behold..... even when in one's underwear.....
.... and Elisson is showing off the work of a few wonderful artistes...... and hey, I WANT one of those laptops.......
... and Kathy has a GREAT post up about remembering a Mule (and a Grandfather)..... hey, Southern Writing is alive and well, folks.... and living in Franklin, Tennessee....
..... but as for me, that is all you are going to get tonight....... enjoy the creative juices of others tonight, I'm dry......
..... more tomorrow after lashings of coffee and microwaved Krispy Kremes!....
Thanks for the link, Eric. I never fail to find something in your posts I can relate to-especially your love for the most noble of fungus-the mushroom. I'm glad I could return the favor if just once.
Hell raised by Sugar Britches on December 16, 2007 02:48 PM
... well, folks, today is one of those days where grilled lamb chops and roasted potatoes are on order..... perhaps even some mulled wine..... Elisson is bringing the mint sauce, so it should be quite a meal....
... cruising around blogville this morning, I see that Jimbo is busy frightening his readers....
..... as for me, I am off to sweep out the garage in preparation for a bit of billiards while the chops sizzle this evening..... so y'all play nice.... I'm off....
Hell raised by RedNeck on November 18, 2007 10:14 AM
I mean the little guy, is pimpin'... That's a fine lookin' father that we all know did well for his family..
Hell raised by RedNeck on November 18, 2007 10:16 AM
Marines can wear anything damn they want.
Hell raised by Joan of Argghh! on November 18, 2007 12:46 PM
Try again [damn the chocolate vodka!]:
Marines can wear any damn thing they want.
Hell raised by Joan of Argghh! on November 18, 2007 12:47 PM
Oh hell, that ain't bad. In my younger days little boys wore short pants or then damn striped overalls until they were in the first grade except for the Sunday go to meeting clothes. I was proud of my first pair of blue jeans for school and I would not be caught in a pair of shorts until I was grown and in the PI where the Kakie shorts were part of the uniforms..
… to all who have served our Great Nation and worn The Uniform of our services, thank you…. enjoy your Veteran’s Day however you see fit…. As for me, my Sainted Mother (who is coming along nicely with her physical therapy, by the way) has offered to whip up a batch of chicken casserole for our lunching pleasure…..
… and thus, I am off to sup with family this afternoon….. a simple day of simple pleasures is unfolding around me, it seems…..
…. Oh, and a quick shout-out to the inebriated bloggers who drunkdialed me at 1:25AM from the Las Vegas BlogWorld Expo…. Semper Fi, brothers….. I got your back….. and hey, I’ve already deleted the voicemail and y’all’s secrets are safe with me…. but still, you guys should be ashamed of yourselves….. I wish I had been there!...
that last paragraph reminds me of the call I got on my cellphone from someone who clearly had the wrong number. At least it went to voicemail. When I failed to reply, he called three more times! No thought he might have dialed wrong to begin with.
Hell raised by Nancy on November 19, 2007 12:53 AM
….. today is the blessed day where we celebrate the 232nd birthday of my beloved Corps…… last year I said this......
……and I am deeply touched this afternoon…. especially today…… and this has caught me off-guard, really… I have spent most of the day watching football instead of praying for my brothers and sisters who are in harm’s way tonight….. and for that, I am truly sorry……. Holly Aho emailed me last week about Valour It and Soldier’s angels….. and I am sorry to say that I did not participate in the campaign fund-raiser……. And hey, that is purely my own fault….. the cause is good, of course…… but I just didn’t have it in me to write about such a sensitive subject…..
…. I support them (and all of you have chosen sides, of course), but it overwhelmed me to write for such a noble cause at that time….. I just wasn’t ready…. The whole thing just rocked my world….. and that is MY failing and not that of my brothers……. so, behold……
…. Happy birthday, friends, brothers, and warriors…… you guys and gals make me so proud….. and on some level, I wish I could help you more…. Perhaps not by Soldier’s Angels…… but maybe due to some other medium……
… I think of that every single day….. and I am sorry.....
Thank God for the USMC - and for those who serve...
Hell raised by Richmond on November 10, 2007 09:39 PM
I realize that it's a basketball game or whatever, but people should shut their cake holes and be reverent when those guys perform. I saw them do their thing in DC on the mall and you could have heard a pin drop in the gravel walkway.
Just out of curiosity, how does one go about applying for such a billet?
Hell raised by bitterman on November 10, 2007 10:02 PM
Hey, I came across this Marine "year in pictures" website recently that you will enjoy.
Well, the commentor won't let me put in the web address because. There's a link to it on my Nov 10 post. Hope you check it out.
Lolly
Hell raised by Lolly on November 12, 2007 06:23 AM
…. zero creativity, folks... I be as dry as one of Ezekiel's biblical bones....
.... and you know something?..... the correlations between this clip from 1965 and my blog (..and 99% of its posts) are too many to completely fathom….. and possibly too frightening to even contemplate….. not that y’all don’t already know that, of course….
… but still, you know?.... what the hell?..... I reckon I just need to dig the old tux out of the closet, dust if off, and recharge my mojo with a martini and an old James Bond flick….. then again, perhaps that old caveman movie where Raquel Welch wears that fur bikini and runs around throwing rocks at dinosaurs….
... I think either option would work pretty well..... not that I’m into fur bikinis or anything, I just like watching movies about badly-designed fake dinosaurs chasing proto-hippies…..
I've always been puzzled and amazed at the disappearance and reappearance of creativity, both of which creep in on cat-like feet without warning.
Methinks I'll never understand it.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on November 6, 2007 03:02 AM
Well, since you're on a masochistic streak in your selection of movies, might as well go all the way to the bottom of the barrel and get Ishtar. Worst movie ever made...
Hell raised by Winston on November 6, 2007 07:31 AM
The thing about creativity, which I find so perplexing, is that when you [meaning peeps, in general, and not you, per se] churn out some bullshit nothing post, that's the one peeps leave you 50 comments on -- not that I ever get that many -- proclaiming "Genius!" and you're basically like, "Uhhhh, but..."
Of course the posts in which you find creativity coarsing, like lava, through your veins, in which you are able to tie your thoughts together with the kind of mental precision you would need to run Willie Mosconi off the table...those everyone ignores.
BTW: Did that clip end before the song started, or was that my computer being wonky?
Hell raised by Eric[a] on November 7, 2007 08:13 PM
Deano...wowza!
Trivia: Who was the top selling recording artist at the time the Beatles hit American soil?
That's right, Deano!
Hell raised by marcus on November 8, 2007 12:14 PM
Might as well get the tux out. After all....how many opportunities does one get to wear a tux in East Tennessee? Halloween and when they put you in the pine box are the only two that come to my mind. Feel free to fill in the blanks on that one.
Hell raised by bitterman on November 8, 2007 07:10 PM
…. Good evening, rubberneckers…. I trust that you are each well, happy, and getting exactly what you deserve… as for me, well, all is quiet here around The Compound and a cauldron of my homemade chili is bubbling away on the range….. the local news is predicting a freezing-snap to arrive tomorrow – thus the chili…… and all I need now is a big skillet of my Sainted Mother’s cornbread and I’ll be prepared for the arrival of the frosty morning…
…. I write this only in passing, though, since I have absolutely zilcho to contribute to the blogosphere this evening… all pigs fed, watered, and ready to fly as usual….. and there is a bottle of Caol Ila seductively cooing to me from the kitchen saying very, very naughty things in Gaelic.. so I must go and do my duty…..
… but before I go, I would like to direct your attention to fellow East-Tennessee blogger Rosie’s website…… in particular, her four-part tale entitled “The Dark Hole”….
Rosie is definitely one of my favoritist reads on the web, ever. Oh, and if you are fixing to slather your chili with some melted cheese, please be sure and eat a big, gorging mouthful for me.
Do you add chocolate to your chili? For many years I had been making Winston's World Famous (maybe you've heard of it) Super Bowl Chili, the aroma and taste of which has set many men free of their earthly bonds. Then I read a recipe for chili that praised the Cincinnati method of adding chocolate. Who in their right mind would waste good chocolate that way? I scoffed at it, but tried it anyway.
Damn! I'll never make WWFSBC again without the precise type, form, and amount of chocolate.
Speaking of cornbread... how's your Mom's rehab coming along?
Hell raised by Winston on November 5, 2007 07:05 AM
Chili?
Say no more...
I like you have lived abroad and have probably like you tasted many many differnt "kinds" of Chili.
Gawd I love Europeans but what they do to Chili could and probably would be found guilty in any court of law. I mean yes I've had the English man's version of "Chili Con Carne" and come on let's be real but to us "Americans" that is a big ole bowl of JOKE.
Let's get to the meat of this dilemma...what kind of cornbread do you serve?
I am not cornering you but I only ask out of curiosity.........my family likes "Johnny Cakes" so what do you do fry up in yor neck of the woods?
Mmmm, chili...now that the air is getting nippy, chili sounds mighty tasty!
Thanks for the plug. I'm starting to shop that one around. In the funny but sick department...I've been having some problems with my content getting picked up by splogs. Anyway...my darkly gothic tale of racism, incest and infanticide got picked up by a baby splog called "Cuddly". Bwah-ha-ha.
....and speaking of "terrors" in the last post, I just found this via Lollygaggin and Leslie.....
You Are a Werewolf
You're unpredictable, moody, and downright freaky.
You seem sweet and harmless, until you snap. Then you're a total monster.
Very few people can predict if you're going to be Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde.
But for you, all your transformations seem perfectly natural.
Your greatest power: Your ability to tap into nature
Hopefully, by the time next year's Erictoberfest rolls around, peeps will have long forgotten the bits about seeming "sweet and harmless, until you snap. Then you're a total monster," and "Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde."
A ghost. The "What do you like about Halloween?" question was a bit like asking me what do I like about the smell of dogshit.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on October 31, 2007 08:01 PM
heheheh... Werewolf/Wolfman/Wolfboy... where've I seen that before.
Hell raised by RedNeck on October 31, 2007 09:40 PM
I was a danged ol' ghost to...
Can you see me now?
Hell raised by RedNeck on October 31, 2007 09:52 PM
A ghost, here.
Says I play well with witches. Hell... I already knew that. Wait one... oops. I was off a letter.
Hell raised by That 1 Guy on October 31, 2007 10:17 PM
A bit over the top but still...
***You Are a Warlock***
You are deviously brilliant and a perfect manipulator.
You somehow always end up getting what you want - without anyone knowing you're working behind the scenes.
Crafty and cunning, you can work your way out of any jam.
And it's easy for you to get people to do what you want, whether you're working for good or evil.
Your greatest power: Mind control
Your greatest weakness: Making people your puppets
…. A more perfect autumn day than the one which just passed, well, it’d be hard to find….. practically impossible, now that I think of it……
…. 72 degrees - the perfect outdoor temperature for my body… long-sleeves & jeans weather…… a cloudless, robin’s egg blue sky…. the slightest hint of a breeze which was pregnant with the smell of burning leaves and damp earth and steaks searing on grills…. even the jungle of foliage that surrounds my house is finally bursting with a thousand different colors in celebration of The Season arriving….
…. The garbage from this past weekend’s shindig has been bagged, tagged, and is neatly seated at the end of the driveway awaiting collection by Da Garbage Guyz in a few minutes….
… indeed, the only thing which has remotely harshed my mellow today was witnessing this little badboy on the television…. Behold, gentle rubberneckers….
…. damnation!!....zombie alligators!... in FLORIDA!.... .. it made me wish that Jimbo and I could pour ourselves a large tumbler of the INCREDIBLE single malt that Denny gifted me this weekend and suffer through the show screaming like little girls buoy our spirits with a fine spirit and be quaintly entertained by both of our arch-terrors being poked and prodded by the Florida Department of Fish & Game...
… that said, though, it has been a very good day….. I’m off to find a soft spot on the couch and sip upon a 24 year old Highland Park…. It will be the perfect lotion to polish this most excellent day with…. trust me…..
…. You know, ladies and gentlemen, some tales that you read about on the internet just get taller and taller as the telling gets more polished…… but hey, that is what is expected!.... after all, as bloggers, we are bullshitters & storytellers by nature!.... that said, I do have to admit that I was guilty as charged…. And while I would love to tell you guys a lovely, touch-feely story about how I actually sprang upon four friendly, frost-covered blogggers while armed with only a feather pillow and handful of peacock quills, sadly, that wasn’t the case….. I did, indeed, have a shovel….. (.. and since this incident is becoming a legend all on its own amongst the Jawja Bloggers, I should probably go and fetch it for a photograph…. what do you think?..)
…. anyhoo, still have no clue what this, your humble, humble servant, is talking about?....
….. but in my defense?.... well, no one was actually bashed with a shovel…. And after all, as the host of the party last year, it was my JOB to provide a bit of entertainment, wasn’t it?....
... no?..... well, either way, I was guilty as charged.... meeeeeaaaaaa CULPA!....
Hey, I saw that Mexican backhoe when I first drove into the parking lot there in Helen. Someone was swinging it and I thought maybe it was the bat for the half rubber game...
…… the last of the gentle people that graced my humble house with their presence have finally departed…. The house is quiet and still and I miss all of you guys already!....
At Morrigan's waiting for my flight. We had truly the best time. I'm feeling very... mellllow. We keep laughing over the little things said and done. Thank you again...
What a blast! And to play pool with all of youse [and win...mostly], was pure unmitigated joy. Thank you & the Lovely Missus for an unforgettable, and unbelievably fantastic weekend.
Now, I must sober-dial all the peeps I said I would drunk-dial, but didn't because I was too busy falling into ditches.
Thank you so much Eric - it was excellent! You and your lovely wife are so much fun to visit. I'm still getting my act together this morning, I think I'm too old to get by on so little sleep. *grin*
Hell raised by Teresa on October 29, 2007 10:02 AM
Thank you for being such a gracious host, and a special thanks to Mrs. SWG for putting up with it all with pure grace.
I'm still beat.
Hell raised by Jimbo - PRS on October 29, 2007 03:16 PM
Eric,
I had the best time. What a great bunch of peeps you had there.
Sorry to leave you with the hay and straw. It will burn. I'd wait until after it rains again.
I would have loved to have been there. Hope you had a wonderful birthday.
I did however, post some of the REAL footage of what took place in Helen for everyone's perusal. It should be up in the next ten minutes or so at my site :)
Hell raised by Richard on October 31, 2007 10:18 PM
…. Hmmmm….. well, it looks like we might get a bit of rain tomorrow morning…. so those of you who are trekking slowly towards The Compound here, drive safe…. the garage has been cleaned out and de-spidered, so if it does rain, we’ll be fine hanging out in there and shooting pool……
…. anyone who is allergic to cat hair might want to give the garage a miss though….
…. the couch in the living room is quite comfy and I highly recommend it…. the big chair is nice as well…..
Boarding pass is printed... fingers are crossed... breath being held... maybe, just maybe everything will work as it should. (maybe I shouldn't hold my breath - heh)
Hell raised by Teresa on October 25, 2007 03:44 PM
T, it is going to be just fine. Tomorrow is Lucky Scarf Friday, so I'll be wearing that for Good Luck, and so youse'll recognize me.
Eric, I shall see you and the rest of the friendly miscreants tomorrow early evening, good Lord willin' and the crik don't rise.
I will be up near Gatlinburg this weekend, but I might have to leave early if SC puts whuppin on Tenn. My buddy up there is a die hard Tenn. fan and owns several guns and he is a hillybilly with a corvette.
Hell raised by james old guy on October 25, 2007 05:42 PM
Enjoy, dude!
CaptainSQL!!!!!!! shall be ever watchful, on-call throughout the weekend night and day, guarding against bad binds, out of space conditions, and failed utilities! Fear not, for the Fiduciary Health of America rests easy while CaptainSQL!!!!!!! remains on call!
Monday night I'm off, so sell now before everything goes to hell.
Coming to you from a hotel in Bristol, VA. Rain, rain, rain for most of the way. Then caught up in the traffic with the crazy Virginia Tech fans on their way to the game against Boston College. Game is on now, and these crazy bastards are sitting there in the pouring rain.
By contrast, I am sipping Woodford Reserve bourbon. Sweet!
See ya tomorrow.
I would post on my site, but I'll be damned if I can remember my user name and password. I blame the bourbon.
Hell raised by Jimbo - PRS on October 25, 2007 08:16 PM
I'm expecting a drunk-dial from Erica this weekend. Ya'll don't let her forget!
….. I tell you, this right here just made my day….. next thing you know, he’ll be setting up a still and cooking off some ‘shine…. and well, that thought just makes me happy…
OK, the buck stops here. I do not approve of this Hostile Hillbillification of Hairboy [...mercy... Aliteration...ACTING!], because then where would that leave me? Nobody would come up to the Northeast for mini-blogmeets in the city, and then I'd be all freaking alone.
Don't MAKE me take up arms! I have a blade, you know.
Jeez - between Jimbo eating fried green tomatoes and Erica eating grits, the world has turned topsy turvy. What's next - you, eating a Reuben sammitch?
Hell raised by Elisson on October 24, 2007 08:57 PM
For the record, Big E: I have always loved grits. The first time my folks ever drove down 95 with me, every morning for breakfast I ordered them. They kinda remind me of farina, which I could absolutely eat buckets of. Those Trader Joe grits were awesome, btw!
On a separate note [Jimbo is *so* going to destroy me for saying this, but...]:
re: "I heard you are all over the biscuits and gravy, too!"
Jeanie baby, if you'd-a seen Hairboy's t-shirts @ Helen, you woulda seen that whatever he was eating was actually all over him.
… for years, folks… absolutely YEARS I have been biding my time…. sitting patiently, quietly, knowingly…. confident in the certainty that karmic payback would eventually be doled out for this post…. And last night, justice was finally done….. and it was OH SO SWEET!....
…. lookit, please tell me that some of you learned rubberneckers tuned in to the National Geographic Channel last night to watch Brady Barr scream like a little sissy when that python bit him in the ass…. Sweet, ever-loving Jeebus, that was awesome….. I’ve been excited about seeing it since NGC started teasing us all with the trailer three weeks ago…. and let me tell you, it was well worth the wait to see that hammerhead – hip-deep in mud, bat-piss, and bat-shit AND gagging due to ammonia-drenched air – get popped in the ass by an angry reticulated python…. His feeble wailing was an added bonus, too…. good god, what a wonderful night…..
…. I swear, I could hardly quit laughing each time he screamed, “ahhhhyyeeee!!!... it’s got me!... it’s GOT ME!.... AAHHHUUUEEEEE!!!....” …. And then later when he was still wading around in the bat shit?... he blubbed a few more times and then cried, “I gotta get OUT of HERE!... I got a REALLY BAD BITE!”….
… damnation, folks, I nearly peed myself….. and hey, we don’t use the term “gleeful” around these parts very often….. but with every whine that emanated from his cinderblock-like head, the glee-factor in my living room rose by 10%...... and by the end of that hour-long show, I was positively gleeful…..
…. don’t get me wrong, now…. I am not the type of person to ever wish ill-will on anyone… especially not someone that I have never met….. but I will tell you this, watching him crap his pants and scream like a little girl made me very, very happy….
.. if you ask me, the bastard had it a’coming….. so here you go, gentle rubberneckers..... behold a bit of the trailer that made me so enjoyably gleeful....
Elisson, SWMBO, Leslie and I were just having this same conversation last week, about Bat Guano, and the low forms of life, which proliferate all over it [it gave me some serious willies]. Any dooshbag who ventures into a place like that absolutely deserves to get bit on the tucches.
Not thrilled that you chop Black Widow Spiders in half, because I fear for your own karmic retribution, but as for this putz with the cinderblock head, he definitely had it coming to him.
The guy travels all the way to Indonesia to walk waiste deep in bat shit (along with assorted maggots and roaches, never mind flying bats) to check out a snake.
Douchebaggery of the highest order.
Hell raised by Jimbo - PRS on October 21, 2007 06:52 PM
Hell raised by Winston on October 21, 2007 09:07 PM
Eric,
I like snakes,I keep enough of em; but I would never keep a Reticulated Python. They are outright nasty. They have got big teeth too, very big teeth. I imagine each whelp that Cinderblockhead man made was due to excruciating pain (and fear), since the more he moved like an idiot trying to pull or was it run away, the worse the bite would be. He would have been better off to not move and let his buds get it off of him. I guess though when waist deep in bat piss and shit, in a dark eeerie cave full of winged rodents, snakes, and roaches (among other creepy things)something like a Reticulated Python biting your ass could make anyone panic. Sure was funny as anything that I have seen in a long time though!
Not so funny is the fact that this guy should probably now be getting rabies shots as a preventative. Hopefully someone has thought of that. Several years ago, I recall that two spelunkers came down with rabies. Neither one ever mentioned to anyone that they had been bitten. It was surmised at the time that they caught rabies from walking and crawling through guannno laden passageways while they were caving. They, of course, both died from the rabies.
Now I if I had some, I eat a bowl of chow mein!
All the best,
Glenn B
Hell raised by Glenn B on October 21, 2007 09:24 PM
Damn I almost had flash backs when he he started screaming and crying he needed to get out of here, reminded me of the time I turned a copperhead loose in my stepmom's kitchen and she climed to the top of fridge looking for the screen door. I wish him not lasting ikk effects, but do home the traspassing idiot can not sit for a week or two.
Perfect. You're wading through a waist-deep slough of bat-shit, replete with all the lovely life-forms that live in bat-shit, and a python comes and rips a nice big hole in your leg so as to Let The Bat-Shit, Maggot and Roach Stew Right Into Your Bloodstream.
Sweeeeet.
The only thing missing is the Dreaded Candiru-Fish.
Hell raised by Elisson on October 21, 2007 11:47 PM
What a dumbfuck. And, he gets PAID to be a dumbfuck!!
…. For those of you who are making the intrepid trip out to my bungalow next weekend, you will be happy to know that my garage (where the pool table is) is serenely free of free-ranging black widow spiders…… courtesy of my Brother and I breaking our backs to make sure that it was a spider-free zone today…..
…. Chemical weapons were used, I am sorry to say….. as well as fly-swatters, rolled-newspapers, and an old tile-knife that he found laying around somewhere…….. so yes, you guys will be safe when you visit next weekend…… but just remember the Monumental Brutality that was flexed to make sure that you guys were able to have a “good time” while at my humble pad…..
.. good god, half of my ‘blogfodder’ got whacked Soprano-style in the course of one afternoon because of you arachnophobic hammerheads….. just think on that for a moment, people….. I crush my blog’s livelihood simply to make you guys more “comfortable”….
….. y’all just simply have no idea how much me, my neighborhood, and the environment as a whole absolutely BLEEDS (literally, not figuratively) for you guys……
... I should get a fucking Peace Prize or something.....
Well, this serious arachnophobe does thank you, because when I am kicking somebody's ass at pool, I don't want to have to run away, screaming, with my panties all bunched up in a wad, because I saw something move that shouldn't be moving. I ain't forfeiting a single game.
You shall find other critters to blog about... you'll just have to go back to squirrel watching.
Not that I'm an arachnophobe, but I'm very glad to hear I won't have to take up arms against a female of any species. I'm not sure I have the requisite fine motor skills to use a knife the way you do. Therefore my methods would be far more messy although equally deadly. *grin*
Hell raised by Teresa on October 20, 2007 10:38 AM
Like Teresa, I'm not an anachnophobe, I'm a roachaphobe, but still greatly appreciate the Peace Prize efforts as the whole 'black widow' thing does creep me out. I'd hate to be watching y'all play pool (pool is yet another game that involves a stick and a ball like baseball and golf, that I cannot play) only to have a black widow sit next to me. No.
Speaking of spiders, make sure you get the wood from your sainted mama's house before we arrive and screen it for those brown eight-legged bastids, the bite of which eats away one's flesh.
Hell raised by Jimbo - PRS on October 20, 2007 11:44 AM
…. When I was fourteen years old I drew a self-portrait of myself for Mrs. Ealy’s summer art class….. sporting a Winchester Firearms baseball cap that was frayed at the brim by way too much time spent hunting early-autumn doves, the artwork was a sight to behold…. And yes, I drove my ’51 Ford all the way in to Englewood to sit at those art lessons…… I bring this up only in passing, of course….. since even though I wasn’t really a fan of The King, my early self-portrait looked a LOT like a pubescent Elvis ala 1955….. less the black eye-shadow….. and the pouty lips…. (I have no lips per se.... just bits of skin to cover my teeth...)
.. but those of you who have met me will recognize right off that bat that I look very, VERY little like Elvis….. (I know that this will come as a huge shock to many of you, and I am truly sorry..) ….
… but yet, there it is….. in my mind’s little eye (and even though I was more into ZZ Top than Elvis), the picture speaks for itself even unto this day… I might post a shot of it later in the week if I can dig it out of the closet….. which, incidentally, is exactly where it belongs…….
…. But this weekend, of course, I was blessed to meet a True Artiste and have my caricature scrawled by his horny hands….. if you wanna see it, it be here….. (I am down near the bottom..... the guy who looks like he has leprosy..) ....
…. But trust me now, boys and girls, there ain’t no Elvis wannabees anywhere to be seen ANYWHERE in that sketch…. as a matter of fact, it looks like a pretty odd collection of weeble wobbles…… but hey, it WAS a blogmeet after all…. and I’d imagine that Mr. Cox’s drawing is pretty much spot on….. those of us who weren’t weebling by the end of the night were most definitely wobbling…..
…. Really, though?.... art don’t lie…. And evidently I am ½ forehead and ½ evil grin…. Hey, who knew!?....
…. Survived another one, folks…. I’m sore everywhere….. and I can still blast a hanging curveball out of the ballpark… good God, pretending that I was twelve years old all day on Saturday made today’s birthday morning (at 35) a stiff and sore-muscled one…..
…. wow..... Just Damn!..... Trust me, fellow bloggers…. there is no place on Earth like Helen, Ga when the bloggers come to town……
… and it just gets stranger and more wonderful each and every year…..
Glad you made it back safe. Happy birthday you young wipper snapper. 35... ahhhh. Those were the days. I trust your sunglasses are still with you? I'm gonna have to get on Sam, if you didn't lose 'em this year. He must be slackin'...
Hell raised by RedNeck on October 14, 2007 07:56 PM
It was great to meet you and your bride! Happy Birthday.
Oh, and it was so much fun to spank your butt with the yardstick! I'm sure a hardass like yourself didn't even feel it.
It's still your birthday? Damn, that feels like it was 20 time zones ago. Believe you me, young whippersnapper, we are both feeling the hurt. I never expected to leave feeling like I've been pile driven by Andre the Giant. But it's definitely a good kind of pain.
Hell raised by Kimber on October 14, 2007 10:39 PM
You know you're getting older when you measure the fun you had by the next morning's soreness. Glad you survived another and wish I coulda been there. 35? Damn, I've got kids older than that, and I'm only 39.Of course, age don't matter, unless you need to pick up twigs out of the yard. Or tie your shoes. Or climb a ladder. Or...
Happy Birthday!
Hell raised by Winston on October 15, 2007 07:04 AM
Glad yo got to see us, and Happy Birthday,
Keep your arms in at night so's you don't turn out like Bob.
Hell raised by Holder on October 15, 2007 08:06 AM
Happy (belated) birthday, dude. It was great to see you and Fiona again. Just be careful now that you're 35...people's bones get brittle as they get older, mmm'kay?
Hell raised by zonker on October 15, 2007 08:45 AM
Only 35... Didn't think I'd be older.. OK, not by much... but enough..
Sorry to be late with the birthday wish! I truly enjoyed meeting Fiona and lifting the grill or was it a wheelchair? with you. Little Green Pea, she says it soooo nicely.
Michelle
Hell raised by Michelle on October 17, 2007 10:09 PM
Haven't been around the blogosphere much lately with the insane amount of studying I'm doing; however, when one spots a blog post title like this in Bloglines, one is compelled to investigate further.
Heh.
Glad you had a good time in Helen, wish I'd have been there with y'all again.
Hell raised by Chickie on October 21, 2007 09:29 AM
… the wind has blown steadily all day here… not a very strong wind, but a sort of wind that seems to be everywhere all at once…. each leaf on every tree – from grass-level to the tip-tops – is wiggling, bucking, and vibrating in unison with his companions…..
… makes you quite dizzy, actually, if you look at it long enough…..
… anywhoo, I gatheredtogether with a few of the usualsuspects (and Bou's charming sister, Morrigan) last night for a fine lunch, enjoyable meal, and very pleasant company….. and this weekend – and the annual Helen Blogtoberfest – will be upon us before we know it…
... mercy, autumn is definitely in the air, folks…. College football, turning leaves, and blogmeets….. oh my….
…. You know, everything you need to know about The World in General is out there on the internet… and most of it is out there courtesy of your local intrepid blogger…..
… like this, for instance….. go forth and bathe in the fine, quivering illumination of The Honest Truth…..
... and remember, folks... everything that you read on the internet is 100% true..... trust me...
Is is just me and the fact everyone looks alike to me, or does that guy singing look like Joe Pa? Not that Joe Pa would be caught dead singin' Rocky Top. ;-)
Personally, I love that song, but that's neither here nor there.
What matters is, Acidman will rise and collect himself from his eternal cinder box slumber, and curse you with some kind of Southern affliction, like poison ivy, or getting your freckled behind whooped at Half Rubber at Helen. Or something.
You coulda at least picked a better version. Bobby Osbourne looks like he just got off an embalming table. Perhaps a version by Pantera or Tool, if such a thing exists, would better exemplify the air of modern progression you ridge runners are undergoing. If not, try this version on for size.
Hell raised by bitterman on October 7, 2007 10:04 AM
Well-played, Tennessee! Your fate is in your own hands, now, since the Gators don't have a defense against the run.
… good afternoon, rubberneckers….. I trust that you are all well….. as for me, I’m splendid…. and as it happens, I am off to have dinner at The Parkside Grill/Tavern with Winston from NobodyAsked…..
I've never visited your site before today. But I read Winston's account of your meeting and he had such high praise. So thanks to Winston, I'm gonna be dropping by over here, too!
…. To all of you who’ve sent well-wishes to my Sainted Mother, a sincere thank you…… I have passed on to her your kind words and she is deeply touched…. Although she still thinks the fact that I have a blog is weird beyond words, she has been moved by the messages of you lovable hammerheads very much….. so, a hearty thank you to you all….. and, for those of you who are curious, she is doing just fine…. Healing well, already up walking with the help of a physical therapist and a large brace, and generally looking forward to living a fine life with a new knee……
…. So if anyone out there is hemming and hawing about getting one (that’s you, Raging Mom)… quit dealing with the pain, find a good surgeon, and start life anew……
…. But enough of all that….. knees are not a topic which I am well-versed in discussing as mine both work just fine….. so far…….. so, in a random change of topic, I will report that tonight I baked two chicken breasts that were stuffed with extra-sharp cheese, mushrooms, salt, pepper, sautéed mushrooms, onions, and garlic…… and then covered with a thick, savory egg, parmesan, breadcrumb glaze for baking….. and in a word?... “wow”….. they were pretty damned tasty, folks….. and yet they still maintained that subtle hillbilly quality while pinned closed with toothpicks…..
….. so, hey, that’s me for the evening….. I spent the morning visiting with my Mother & Brother….. spent the afternoon shopping for dinner-time stuff….. and spent the evening cooking…..
….. and now it is cocktail hour and I am off to introduce myself (most cordially) to a 17-year old Bowmore….. ahhh, the sweet, gentle, caramel charms of a freshly un-corked 17-year old….. I can hardly wait….
Something's just not right here, I wonder what it could be. Oh, yes...this part, right here...DID NOT sit well with me:
"...extra-sharp cheese, mushrooms, salt, pepper, sautéed mushrooms, onions, and garlic..."
I understand calling for three- and four-cheeses in recipes, and even different variations of onions. I also am quite a fan of the Triple Decker Deli Sandwich, comprised of corned beef, pastrami, and turkey on rye...
But mushrooms...and then sautéed mushrooms??? Now I see what my mother meant when she says I always manage to fall in with a wrong crowd.
Bleccch.
Hey, as long as you ate in good health, that's all that really matters.
It's quite rare for Eric to uncork a 17-year old. Typically he uncorks 10-year olds.
Re: shrooms. I love 'em. Or at least I used to love them as the last time I had them was years ago. I ate an entire bag...I think it was supposed to be 4 or 5 doses. Ooopsie! I tripped like a motherfucker for hours. Man, that was a great time.
...... as much as I totally fucking hate Zombies, this clip still appealed to me today so very, very much today.....
... listen and learn, gentle rubberneckers........
..... for today, equally, I hate everyone..... absolutely everyone.... you, and you, and you...... and you in the corner..... and even you over there in the funny hat..... and you.... and you...... and me..... and you on the television..... and you over on ESPN scoring the touchdown.....
.... oh, and you too......
.... tomorrow will be better though.... just trust me...... I'm having a bad day......
Och, laddy...Here's a Health to the Company
Buck up!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivTCYSpVa9g
Hell raised by LauraB on September 30, 2007 11:10 AM
Dog... the guy in the video resembles you. I see he's totin' a two by four instead of a shovel. That threw me off a little bit, since we all know you're shovelized. I suppose you get what you get when you go to the YouTube well. If you need a swingin' length two by four, I can arrange it. I'll just go punch the wall and pull one out. There's so many in there, is one really gonna make a difference?
I hate you too man.
Feell better now?
I do.
Mimbo Jimbo...? I thought it was mumbo jumbo.
Hell raised by RedNeck on September 30, 2007 02:16 PM
Oh, one thing I forgot... Nobody hates barbecue sauce... He's flat out lyin'.
Hell raised by RedNeck on September 30, 2007 02:18 PM
I am pretty sure that I have had a day or two like that recently...
Peace be with you - if nothing else, Gin and chocolate. It's all good....
Hell raised by Richmond on September 30, 2007 06:33 PM
Hey darlin...hope your days have been better since this one. I'm still trying to catch up and have a quick read around the 'sphere these days though school doesn't leave me much time.
Hell raised by Chickie on October 3, 2007 08:36 PM
…. This morning I drank coffee and watched the squirrels – which seem to be much more active lately – play a dangerous game of tag with both of the cats…I wonder if they can sense that the time for nut-gathering is creeping closer and closer as each day passes…. (the cats, I mean, not the squirrels….)
… I suspect that they can, those cats….. and the idea of catching something as big as a tree-rat must be the kitty equivalent of a welfare Mom scoring a boon on Georgia Lottery day…… indeed, most of the squirrels are almost as big as young Bob…. Them sitting up in the tree swishing their flea-bitten tails and scrawny little Bob fidgeting his OWN little predator-tail at the base of the tree…….it is funny to watch, really….. hell, I bet one of those souped-up little rats would kick his ass if he ever managed to finally pounce on one… but there he sits anyway…. Waiting and wishing……
… I wonder if he’d be happy if he ever had the chance to grip what he desired…. If somehow, through the battle that would ensue, he’d find some odd kind of kitty-validation…. like Elisson wishing for his roadster….. or Oom Keesie setting his sights on a distant water buffalo….. or me dreaming of subduing the perfect Reuben sandwich….
.... I definitely need more coffee..... good grief....
Ah rats with bushy tails. They are delicious however you cook em, but I imagine if one of our dogs ever catches one there would not be a chance to cook em. Our mutt Sprocket used to bound out of the side door into our back yard trying to catch one of the little boogers that she sensed was there even before getting out the door. She did that with all the power of youth, but alas that power has been replaced by the arthritis of her golden years. Our mini-dachshund Hexi never shows much interest in them. Our latest edition - Pepe, a mini Chihuahua now gives chase to both bushy tails and biords. If he ever caught hold of a squirrel, the squirrel would probably carry him up into our oak tree, or tear into him pretty badly; so thank mother nature that squirrel are mostly on the lookout for predators instead of acting the part of predator. As for the birds, if Pepe ever grabbed one of them, they still might be able to take flight, and he would get a new view of our house from above! Still though, there seems to be little chance of to deter his youthful bursts of energy and glee tha come with the chase. Even though the chases only last about 2 seconds each, he sure seems happy.
All the best,
GB
Hell raised by Glenn B on September 27, 2007 10:19 AM
Tree rats don't last long at my place. The four Westhighland terrier's have learned to tag team them. One westie will hide behind the tree and when the tree rat descends the others bark and get tree rats attention. Mr Tree Rat not paying attention never see's the lurking westie until its too late. Sadly the Westies don't leave much in the way of tree rat to cook after they get through playing tug of war.
Hell raised by james old guy on September 27, 2007 12:28 PM
I spend more money on food for the tree rats than I do for dawg food..and I have two dawgs.
I do it because there is not much more relaxing for me than to sit on the porch early morning and watch the day break and those critters start to scurry about...horny little dudes though.
I keep them fat and if the time comes and need be I still remember how to fix tree rat dumplins..
Hell raised by GUYK on September 27, 2007 01:30 PM
I gotcha covered on that Reuben sammitch.
Hell raised by Elisson on September 27, 2007 04:16 PM
I've always wondered what squirrel stew tasted like (something like Bob I imagine- not his actual taste, but what HE is imagining squirrel stew to taste like...), but one thing I don't wonder about is the perfect Reuben sandwich. Well, if not perfect, it is certainly simultaneously the best and largest Reuben I've ever had the pleasure to consume. Voila- Jerry's Famous Deli in South Beach, Florida: http://www.frommers.com/destinations/miami/D41280.html
Then again water buffalo in stew, steak, sirloin whatever needs special care in the prep unless you want to lose some molars.
Very very tasty and rich, but tends to be tough. Nowadays with refridgeration we can hang it for a couple of days to age. Voila, perfect meat.
Hell raised by kesskennis on September 27, 2007 11:19 PM
…. Well, boys and girls, I survived my European vacation…. I know that y’all were worried – I could feel the disturbance in The Force from time to time…. and actually, ‘survived’ is probably not the best description of my past-week’s station…. Indeed, I managed to cuddle most of the seven deadly sins close to my bosom for the better part of two weeks… Lust and Anger remained elusive – as always – but the other five and I had quite a high ole time…..
… I had a particularly enjoyable ride with Gluttony and Sloth through Luxemburg & bits of Germany… but hey, they have always been my great go-to pals…..
…. So, yes, I am back…… and thanks to all of thefinegentlemenwhodroppedin to keep both of you entertained while I was marinating in trappist beer through The Low Countries….
…. And later?.... video of dancing Harlequins in Brussels!!.... I just know that you guys are literally bursting with excitement…
Welcome back - glad you had such a great time. I got sidetracked with work last week so the disturbance in the force was me bending my mind to figuring out how to get more time online... didn't work. heh.
Hell raised by Teresa on September 17, 2007 01:48 PM
Ummmmmm. How did I miss you going on a European vaca? I have REALLY gotta get better with checking in on my blogroll. Good grief.
Hell raised by Jean on September 17, 2007 06:06 PM
Oh, I could hug you -- so glad you're back. Thunderman posted the most awful photo, a nightmarish thing...please tell me it was the best Photoshop ever and that you never actually wore that horrible wig. And then there was all this talk about you pinching peoples' nipples. I kept thinking you had arranged it that all your hits would re-direct to Velociworld...the whole thing was confusing, really. Just promise me it won't happen again. I'm scarred enough as it is.
Hell raised by Erica on September 17, 2007 06:29 PM
Welcome back, wanderer...
Hell raised by That 1 Guy on September 17, 2007 08:52 PM
Very glad to see you back!
Hell raised by Nancy on September 18, 2007 02:34 AM
Welcome back. Glad to see you had a safe trip. Looking forward to hearing some stories and seeing more pictures. You did take pictures, right? Not too much imbibery and not enough point and click?
Hell raised by Dawn on September 18, 2007 06:21 AM
Wow. Perhaps if I'd thought to get substitutes my blog wouldn't have been so lonely this past, well...year. ;) Glad you back, hon. As long as I'm re-engaging, re-aquainting with the loop and all, is Thunderman and Zonk one and the same? And, if so, why is he posting here and not there? Get me up to speed... :D
Glad yer back safely. Yer boyz did a right credible job of keeping the fire going. I gotta go stand out by the road now to watch for the postman bringing the box of chocolates you promised...
Hell raised by Winston on September 19, 2007 07:23 AM
…. well, it is time to set sail, folks….. I’m off to putter around a few cities, buy some diamonds, eat a bit or two of chocolate, tour a few battlefields, and sample some Flemish beer while watching the Walloons do whatever it is that Walloons do……
.. if anyone needs me, I shall be here…. (for a time, anyway) …. safely ensconced in the fortified city of Koblenz…. by way of Antwerp, Brussels, and Bastogne......
….. oh, and I have also arranged for a few guests to drop by here from time to time while I am wandering…. So, who knows?.... perhaps y’all might be treated to a tale or two while I’m away……
…. and so with that, ladies and gentlemen, I’m off……
… we’ll see you rubberneckers on September 17th…….
.. and hey, it looks like I will miss my own 4th blogoversary!..... September 10th, 2003 this whole wild ride began...... good God..... four years..... no wonder I'm going to Belgium where the pubs have 800 different beer in stock!.....
Have a great time, Eric! I'm almost afraid to check back here with the crew you have most likely assigned to stop by.
Hell raised by Rosie on September 4, 2007 07:53 PM
Have a great trip. I just checked my keys to the joint, and they work just fine. I may just stop by to check on the various forms of fornicating wildlife that thrives in the Tennessee woods and to sample some of that well-aged scotch you've got squirrled away in the Hillbilly castle there.
Hell raised by Jimbo - PRS on September 4, 2007 08:21 PM
Have a safe and happy trip and if I can find where you hid the keys I'll drop by and clean up after Jimbo..
Hell raised by Glenn B on September 4, 2007 09:28 PM
Godspeed, my boy. Enjoy every minute.
Belgium is one of the few places on the other side of the pond that I've actually been to - and I heartily recommend the beer in all its infinite, tasty variety.
And let's not forget the chocolate. Neuhaus, Leonidas, Corné Toison d'Or, and the *real* Godiva. Mmmmmm.
Hell raised by Elisson on September 4, 2007 10:26 PM
Diamonds?! For me??! Aww...you shouldn't have. Hmm...on second thought, yes you should!
*Cheers!* Have a great trip!
Hell raised by DogsDontPurr on September 5, 2007 12:00 AM
Have a great trip & Happy Blogversary in advance!
Hell raised by Marianne on September 5, 2007 12:42 AM
Have a ball you lucky cats, and bring us back a toy.
Hell raised by Bindersix on September 5, 2007 11:51 AM
Have a great holiday.
S
Hell raised by farmwifetwo on September 5, 2007 12:51 PM
wow...so, all us blog-gals get a diamond in Helen????
…. Ya know, there are mornings where I awake, pour myself a cup of coffee, light a cigarette, and ponder the great mysteries of life…. And then there are mornings where I fire up the old blog and try to think of something to post about…..
…. For some reason, I don’t believe that Brother Elisson has those same moments of “… Gee, I wonder what I should post today..” …..
.. you, sir, are an inspiration….. and I mean that….
…. there’s nothing quite like waking on a sunny Sunday morning to see a hairy-chested fellow blogger sporting a flaccid, uncircumcised weenie to put you right off of your frosted mini-wheats…. Which, of course, is exactly what blogging is all about…..
… but, wow..... after reading that post about fine art and debasing, I cant help but wonder what Baroque goodies lie in store for me when I hit Antwerp next week……
You beat me to it, bro, but what you failed to include in yours [a forgivable oversight], which I would have put in mine, is El Capitan's just as equally disconcerting bloomers post.
Blown Eyes & Bloomers [has a Nashville ring to it, no?]...what won't these crazy peeps post?
Hell raised by Erica on September 2, 2007 09:22 AM
... let me see if I got this right, if I click on the highlighted name I will see what you described in the next sentence?- not giving the man high billing are you-the amsterdam stuff was more fun, how 'bout "virginia is for lovers, amsterdam is for, uh...."
Hell raised by Bindersix on September 2, 2007 09:23 AM
In fact, speaking of "Blown Eyes and Bloomers," were a parody actually to be done, I would suggest putting it to the music of the Stanley Brothers' "Stone Walls & Steel Bars."
Hell raised by Erica on September 2, 2007 09:25 AM
OMG - ROFLMAO!!! That's what I get for trying to not get on my computer for a day... I hadn't gotten over to Elisson's yet.
Hell raised by Teresa on September 2, 2007 11:13 AM
…. I wonder what the hell was going through Burt Lancaster’s mind when he accepted the role of Dr. Moreau in “The Island of Dr. Moreau”….
… if you ever want to rent a phone to take with you on an overseas trip, you’ll need to provide most cellular providers with proof of identity, copies of the front & back of your major credit card, a signed 8-page document that you have to print out yourself and fax back to them, three pints of blood, one kidney, and three hundred American dollars as a deposit…. just trust me....
… black cats are like the “blondes” of the cat-world…
…. The Bravo channel should be banned from every household on the planet immediately….
…. Hummingbirds are mean…. and they do not like to share…. At all….
.... just the ditzy thing, Bou... both of our black cats are a little bit psycho.... I suspect that both of them need to be on some kind of kitty valium.....
Burt Lancaster was one heck of an actor, and he made a wide array of types of movie. Maybe it was just that he had always liked that particular one and agreed to do the remake.
Hell raised by Glenn B on August 31, 2007 07:43 AM
Why you slammin' on Burt for being in this movie? He must've JUMPED at the chance to play longside of Michael York, famous for his simpering boy-toy gayness in "Logan's Run",(not a bad movie for it's time, but horribly dated now), and I won't even mention 'The Magic School Bus',...and then there was the riveting godliness/evilness(for people with no brain, they make it really clear for you who's who) of 'The Omega Code'. I have a black cat we named Crow, after the robot-puppet on sci-fi theatre, and he is terrified of anything that moves, including his shadow...bring out a vacuum cleaner, close all the doors and windows, and let the games begin!(evil grin!) As for hummingbirds, yeah, bless their incredibly quickly-beating hearts and wings, they are greedy and territorial...Since I'm hypogycemic I can relate, come between me and a bacon cheeseburger and I'll see you dead. Glad your show is back on, was going through withdrawals
Hell raised by Bindersix on August 31, 2007 10:02 AM
So I have to ask... since I don't watch it... what is on the Bravo channel? I know I buzz right by it, but I never stop to look. LOL.
Wait - does that me that as a blonde I should be more psycho?? Hmmmm... Wonder how hubby will take this little bit of news.
Hell raised by Richmond on August 31, 2007 01:44 PM
Teresa: go to bravotv.com/scedule/ I don't know what ticked Eric off, but it may be because the bravo channel is sorta like having 'entertainment tonight'-type stuff on endlessy, with a cooking/drama/reallity show thrown in. Perhaps the great man will tell us?
Hell raised by Bindersix on August 31, 2007 01:49 PM
.... Glenn B, that may be so... BUT that movie had some of the cheesiest special effects ever... I still laugh when all the beasts surround Lancaster and kill him.... later in the scene, there isnt a mark on him... just a bunch of ketchup on his white shirt...
.... good lord, Bindersix... don't even get me started on Micheal "Monkeyboy" York.....
... Teresa, just trust me... oh, and it is all the reality shows... especially "Project Runway".... I'd like to hit them all in the head with a claw-hammer....
... sorry, Richmond!.. but hey, I'm sure the news will give your Husband great joy!...
Dude, don't rent a cell phone go here and buy one that you can keep. You own the phone and only pay for the minutes that you use. The phone is linked to a credit card and automatically pays for your time. I have one with a London number that I use while on international travel.
NBC/GE basterdized Bravo along time ago when the took over. It used to be all artsy-fartsy cool up and coming film maker stuff and now there nothing but stupid-assed reality shows revolving around the gay comminuty drama queen set, which there's nothing wrong with that, but still...get that crap off the tele and bring something worth watching for goodness sakes! How many freaking ways can we watch a room get redesigned?
Hell raised by Heidi on September 3, 2007 12:55 AM
… I nipped into town today to cash in some coins that I had laying around and to see if anything on the grocery aisles looked interesting for dinner…. I was disappointed in the first instance (regarding the coinage) and am happy to report that the choice of tonight’s victuals will be homemade burritos…. Did you realize that those conniving vultures charge you a dime on the dollar to turn your change into folding-money?... oh yeah, they surely do…… I tell you, people rob you right, left, and center these days….
… and the pull?.... $162.17…. mercy… it’s a good thing that I’ve been hitting the gym at a fairly regular pace…. Otherwise, hell, I’d have never been able to lug that much copper & zinc across the parking lot……
… anyway, today has been a wonderful day and I can hardly wait for the evening to settle in… days are like that sometimes, you know.....
… oh, and that reminds me…. I have a wee vacation coming up shortly….. I’ll be touring Belgium, Luxembourg, and southwestern Germany from the 5th to the 16th of September with the Missus, the In-Laws, and Uncle Ian…… so if anyone would like to guestpost here while I’m off sipping Stella & gazing at Rubens' artwork, feel free to step right up…. otherwise, well, I will have to let this little light of the blogosphere go dark for awhile until I return….
… so, what say you, rubberneckers?.... care to help a fellow traveler out when he’s in a bind?...... lest I blodge inebriated from somewhere in darkest Belgium via a shaky European barroom connection?......
Hey, I'm always happy to smear shit on the walls of your crib.
Hell raised by Elisson on August 25, 2007 05:39 PM
Elisson, that is just nasty. I had a nephew that used to do that when he was a baby. Skeeved us all out. First time there was shit on the walls, in the crib, all over him. Next time, it was on the crib, on the walls... but not near his lips. Guess he learned.
Thanks for bringing back the memories. Blech. And of course I HAD to share...
What with working 60 hour weeks lately, I haven't been able to keep up with my own sputtering over here. Ergo, I shan't commit to wipe your nose nor your arse. But I did want to say ...again, it seems... bon voyage. Bring back chocolates...
Hell raised by Winston on August 26, 2007 06:26 AM
People actually request to have guest bloggers? You mean you liked it when Richard posted that photo of you with mud-covered man-boobs?
Have NICE trip. Sure sounds like lots of fun. Enjoy the Kirschwasser while in Germany, drink it neat, and have beer standing bye.
Don't bother with guest blogging, that is unless you pretype something, then send it to someone else to post on your site. As for me, I will wait until your return, and then read some good writing by you about your trip.
All the best,
Glenn B
Hell raised by Glenn B on August 26, 2007 07:50 AM
yeah, I'll help you out..I got this charmin' picture of a couple of dim-a-crits I'll put on your front page..
Okay, the wife and I love scotch whiskey (whisky to be proper) She likes Leap-frog, I like tullamore dew. I often go to sleep with headphones on playing Tom Waits "Used Songs", or some derivative. She's a proofreader for a living, I fix cars, and drink. I read a lot, and work on my International Harvester pickups (binders) when I have the time and am sober... So this would be perfect! ..except..I'm either over caffeinated, or having a blood sugar crisis, or plain drunk, or whacked out from all of the above to be reliable...oh, and I'm sentimental and often lugubrious. (see Tom Waits and alcohol and car repair).Ha ha. Other than that, sure, gimme the keys, I'll feed the cat and everything! LOL. ps- where's the fire extinguisher?
Hell raised by Bindersix on August 26, 2007 12:06 PM
Assuming my old keys still work, I may just pop in, have a cocktail or two and leave a bit of bowel windage behind.
Hell raised by Jimbo - PRS on August 26, 2007 08:01 PM
Dr. Doches might be able to come up with something on birdshit, I suppose, email the keys....
Hell raised by Dr. Doches on August 26, 2007 08:18 PM
Bou, my mother used to call that "rosebuds" Apparently my brother was fond of them. None of my children ever graced me with one of those, for which I am very grateful.
Damn. I just spent an hour going through my box of useless sentimental shit that I should have thrown out ten years ago and I found everything from that trip except the card from the really cool bar I went to in Brussels. I'm sure it will turn up as soon as you get back. On the bright side I did find a package of pencils I bought in Barcelona. I needed some pencils.
The real irony is I could almost give you directions from the big square in the center of town, it's in walking distance, but I just can't remember the name of it. Maybe it's the same place anyway. It was Art Deco and it is on top of a hill. Maybe they built a deck by now.
I was gonna volunteer to look after the place whilst you're away, but it seems from the previous comments that you've already got some folks far better qualified than me to take over.
You making it over to sunny Angus while you're on your travels?
Hey I'm in Kaiserslautern which I "think" is in the Southwestern part of Germany...the Bundesland of Rhineland-Palatinate area....if you're coming close give me a holler.
I could show you our pub up here and you could meet my crazy neighbors in the village...it wouldn't suck...
Well, now, if you're going to be in this neck of the woods anyway, why don't you take a swing at southern England? We've got BBC Radio, Old Speckled Hen, and an air mattress, so you won't miss home. And rumo(u)r has it, the other half of the sistaweb team will be in the country around that time, that being the second week of September, so why don't you come on down and we'll slice the haggis...
…. This morning finds The Missus and I skirting northwards to Knoxville….. it’s time (after 15,000 miles) for Sylvia to have all of her various juices measured, changed, and refilled by the tender hands of the Audi dealership’s elegantly-smocked technicians….
… and as glorious fate would have it, there is an excellent chop-house just across Kingston Pike from the dealership that specializes in lamb chops & steaks… so while my little white buggy is getting her servicing, I hope to enjoy the flame-kissed flesh of a few baby mammals while I wait….
… it’s funny, really….. while Sylvia is having her needs attended to and her necessary fluids checked, I will be 100 yards away doing pretty much the same thing…. except with mint sauce, Newcastle ale, and grease instead of engine oil & windshield cleaner….
… I wonder what it all means when viewed through the lens of this post?....
I reckon it just means if you got the where-with-all to drive a beautiful high tech vehicle than you can buy and drive one if you so desire. I also figure that being the redneck I am I just couldn't use an Audi all that much..not enough room for the dawgs and I would have a tough time hauling a load of cow manure in it...
I drive a red Element. Does that make me a douchebag, or does that make me cool? I don't give a fuck.
But that happy red color puts me in mind of a nice, rare beefsteak. If we drive what we eat, make my next car a bone-in ribeye.
Hell raised by Elisson on August 24, 2007 03:59 PM
OK, this is funny: While minivans make men wistful for fast women and salad days, they evoke a primal anger in women. Whenever you see a chick in a Dodge Caravan with three cigarettes in one hand, four cups of coffee in the other hand and five kids in the back as she hollers at their reflections in the rearview mirror and travels 75 mph down Pleasant Valley Road toward ParmaTown Mall, get the hell out of her way - particularly if the front end is dinged.
This is me without the cigarettes, the coffee or the five kids. Just three...thank.you.very.much. And my front end isn't dinged, oh wait. Yes it is. That accident with the garage wall. Damn kids.
.. by the way, gentle readers, please go here and vote for our buddy Richard ala Shadowscope…….. he has a damn good entry…… and as it stands now, he is lagging a bit…….
…. Read’em all and then vote….. he’s entry number 9, by the way…..
…. And as that Bartle's and James' guy said back in the 80s, “thank you for your support”……
There are actually some pretty good posts up about robots, but I personally think my picture kicks ass, although maybe I should have gone with the one that my four year old drew.
Hell raised by Richard on August 18, 2007 04:59 AM
… you know, I’m starting to worry about Brother Rube… hell, he left to go do some drinking on the 7th and still ain’t back…. I mean, sure, I know he likes to get in his cups, but a 9-day bender is a bit much, no?....
... no one should go out on a drunk for more than four days, it just isn't civilized.....
... oh, and since I haven't had a chance to dedicate it in a while, I guess I should point this song towards Brother Velociman.... I've heard he's a Dean Martin fan...... hell, for all I know, he is on a 15-DAY bender.... bender being the operative word, of course....
... you two need to get back in the allegorical saddle.... don't you guys leave me, you bastards.....
…. preparing to settle into an evening of shooting pool in the garage, folks…. Today’s been an absolutely wonderful day and it is time to reflect…… …..
… all of this is by the way of saying that I aint actually posting tonight….. but if you’re truly jonesin’ and simply must have something excellent to gnaw on, then I suggest you check this out….
… little brothers, rubberneckers….. there simply isn’t anything else like’em…..
….. so, with that, I am off…. the sound of the break, the gentle fizzing of my tonic & gin, and arguing of the mockingbirds are to briefly replace the clicking of keyboard keys and the dings of incoming mail….
Hot dang, Bubba, I dun arrived when the ol' Straight White Guy hisownself drops a link on me! Thankee, thankee, thankee, from the bottom of my lil ol' cotton pickin' heart...
I didn't even click on the link...I just wanted to let you know I hadn't been hit by a rogue beer bottle and was lying on the side of the road somewhere. Yanno, just in case.
Yeah, so I moved my blog again. Shocked? Yeah, me either.
… a humble dinner tonight…. smoked turkey sausages fried up with diced garlic and crushed peppercorns…. creamed sweet-corn…. and scalloped sour cream potatoes….. and perhaps a gin afterwards…. or maybe a Scotch.....
…. speaking of food, I am happy to report that I was given the great joy of taking Boudicca and her boys out to one of my favorite hillbilly eateries yesterday….. good, cheap, honest, excellent, homemade junkfood…. eaten at picnic tables on the banks of the Tellico River…. It was a wonderful day and I enjoyed the time with her and her family…..
…. It is worth remarking though, only casually, that she and I both ordered hotdogs…. Both of which somehow ended up at the very bottom of the paper-sack-o-food…. It was pretty funny… and actually resulted in us both having the tastiest AND flattest chilidogs that I have ever been known to man (or woman)….
…. so come back any time, Bou…. You are always more than welcome…. Always….
… I’m off to finish dinner….
… I hope you guys and gals are having at least HALF as much fun as I am right now….. although, you know, I sincerely doubt it.....
Never met her, or had the pleasure of even speaking to her, but she is as decent as they come. Cool that youse got to hang. On a river. Eating hotdogs. Mmmmm!
Oh we had the best time and that was the BEST chili dog. Lunch on the river... you can't beat that with a stick. Next time... the boys will have bathing suits. They spent, what, an hour and a half trying to dam up that section of the river? With small rocks? They were beat last night. As was I.
Thank you again!
Roomie is out of town for the weekend, down in 'ssippi visiting her Mom. So tonight I'll pigout at one of our 12,386 (and growing) Mexican restaurants. Then tomorrow night I'll whip up something here, not as delectable as chili dogs, mind you. Maybe some grilled kielbasa, leftover baked beans doctored up enough to clean out my sinuses and set me free, and as a salute to health, fresh tomato and mozzarella with basil right out of the Herbert garden. And a glass or three of vino...
…. The Missus and I enjoyed a wonderful evening down in Atlanta yesterday courtesy of Holder & Richard… two down-to-earth, straight-up, genuine Good People…. trust me, they’re a lot of fun to talk with…. make it to the next blogmeet and meet them, it is worth it….
… we ended up sitting outside of an expensive bar/restaurant and watching the Buckhead’ers buzz by in their BMWs…. I can certainly think of a lot worse ways to spend a hot Atlanta afternoon….
…. Sorry for boring you guys with so many bootcamp stories… I suppose I just got a bit carried away….. and I guess that part of me just wishes I was the age of your son again…. you two are going to have one proud, proud young man on your hands in a few weeks…..
… another Sunday evening idling down….. lamb chops and roasted potatoes are awaiting the grill and the oven…. It’s time for a gin, I do believe…… lots of ice and a good splash of tonic water sounds just about perfect….
…. I heard today that it is going to be 116F in Phoenix, Arizona today…. mercy…. were I to happen to find myself living there, I would most definitely move away to some point northwards as quickly as possible….. I mean, how many poor Arizonites accidentally burst into flames whilst going out to check their mailboxes each summer?....
… it’s too hot for me here anyway… 82 degrees with 56% humidity…. and severe weather alerts are slated for the entire afternoon….
….. that’s been the norm for the past few days – sunny mornings, overcast afternoons, and stormy evenings – and the nighttime lightshows have been pretty impressive….if a good, solid storm blows in tonight, I’ll break out the camera and shoot some video…. That’s what this blog needs, anyway – a good hard rain, streaks of feverish lightning, and a hard, humid wind to blow out a few metaphysical cobwebs….
… my spring is dry lately…. as cracked and parched as an Arizonite’s lawn, most likely….. perhaps a juicy hunk of freshly-grilled lamb flesh will help….
… then again, perhaps I need to dig a well….
…. either way, that’s just the nature of things, I expect….. ebb, flow, wane, bloom….. one thing is for sure, though…. I’m beginning to think that creativity is cyclic…. and that it’s governed more by tide, moon, and the occasional sunspot than it is by circumstance, perseverance, or The Actions Of Our Daily Lives….
… how weird is that?....
… ahhh, who am I kidding.... I just need to shut the hell up and try harder..... but I definitely do need a gin and tonic…. it's too damned hot to think....
You are so right on the money, bro. "[E]bb, flow, wane, bloom...governed more by tide, moon, and the occasional sunspot." Absolutely. I wish I was as in touch with my inner Tarzan the way you are with yours.
Actually, on Sunday it was only about 113 in Phoenix. I was smart and spent the day inside an air-conditioned pub, drinking and watching the race on TV.
But it is a dry heat. Used to live in Tucson before I went in the Air Force. Once saw the temp displayed on the top of the bank building downtown at 123 degrees. When dashboards split and people go to the emergency room with burns from having tried to open the car door it is more than warm.
…. Today, in a relaxed fit of adventurous abandon, we’re off to ride a stretch of recently revitalized rail….. indeed, we’ll be riding the lunchtime run from Etowah down towards Georgia that follows the mighty Hiwassee….. here’s the link….
… I tell you, folks, us people from the Tennessee Overhill certainly know how to have fun….. oh yeah….. most of the afternoon will be spent fondling a bag of Lay’s potato chips and sipping a RC Cola as the mountains slide past my air-conditioned cabin……
…. We’ll lunch in the scenic mining community of Copperhill, Tennessee….. which is of note for many reasons, but mainly in my mind because one of my 1920s era relatives lost both arms there in a little oopsie involving dynamite, copper ore, and a fuse that was just a bit too short.….
…. I’m sure y’all are just as excited as I am, so I will make a point to take lots of photographs….
… in other news, I am happy to hear that everyone’s favorite Rick & Georgia have invaded Mexico!... rock on, you two!... once they’ve successfully colonized Panama, I might just stop by to visit them on my way to Crazyman’s blogmeet…
… oh, and before I forget… there seems to be some confusion regarding what was gifted to The Missus for her birthday…. So I had better that that all cleared up lest you hammerheads be left with the impression that I only bought her socks….
… gifts: a sapphire & diamond ring, a bag of chewing gum, a bunch of chocolate, the trip that we are going on today, three books from Books-a-Million, three 1lb blocks of cheese, and six pairs of multi-colored socks….
Awwwww...I just KNEW!!.. there was jewels hiding there in her socks!
It's the kinna classy guy you are!...but only if you dinnit put the shockolot in her socks. Right? Right??!!
Boy am I glad the spousal unit doesn't read this blog. I totally spaced on the multicolored socks for her last birthday. I would never hear the end of it!
….. I’ve heard it said before that age brings wisdom…. and it is true enough, I suppose…. (although I do retain the right to call rebuttal witnesses since I know a handful of elderly people who are just plain batshit-crazy..)
…. However, I read this post of Winston’s today, and I have to say that I agree with pretty much every word….
… but at 34 years of age myself, I do have to call bullshit on that 17.2 years of remembrance thing….. there are some people that I'll never forget as long as I live......
... oh, and speaking of age, The Missus just notched up another nick on the Handle of Life by having her odometer click over one more time last night at 0001Z...... she was decidedly not amused, let me tell ya.....
..... my attempt at consolation probably didnt help matters much..... you be the judge.... "but hey, getting older is just what happens!..... it's all cool!... and I bought you socks!!..... and hell, getting older??... it is certainly better than the alternative!"...
... see?... am I a little ray of sunshine or what?.....
Thanks for the plug. I owe you. Maybe I could bribe one of your fine congress-persons over here on Kaptul Hill to repair your favorite bridge, or put down fresh tar on your road, or something...
What is it with women and age. As long as I live, I'll never understand it... Roomie has been counting backwards for many years now, and by my calculations, I'm now guilty of statutory rape...
..... alrigtht, Erica.... here you go...... damnation!...
WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
…. A bit yes, and a bit no….. my Grandfather was David Jonathan….. so my Pa chose the David and my Ma picked the Eric…… so that’s me… David Eric…..
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
…. Last week.... I was just watching a video of Nanci Griffith singing…..
DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
…. I’ve been told that I have nice handwriting….
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
… smoked turkey sliced so thin that you can almost see through a piece of it if you catch the light just right…. . then, of course, it must be piled high and thick between two pieces of toast - one piece slathered with mayo & the other with Golden's mustard.... oh yeah....
DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
…. Nope…. Although everyone claims that one of Big Daddy C’s kids is mine….. not guilty, though….. honestly…
IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
… sure…. hey, I’d definitely buy me a beer…..
DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
.. hardly ever…
DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
…. Hell, no…. and I can’t believe how many of y’all still have yours……
WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
….. no…. but I will probably end up doing a parachute jump before the end of the year….. can’t say that I’m really looking forward to it though….
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
… the kind of cereal that looks, smells, and tastes just like bacon and fried eggs…. with a side of biscuits & gravy….
DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
… yes… my H.S. Trask’s fit in such a way that they require the laces to be untied if you want to get them off…..besides, not untying your shoes is just plain slovenly… what the hell is wrong with you people?....
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
…. As compared to what?..... sure, I’m strong, I guess…. Physically, emotionally, and mentally….. but I do get a bit fragile when I’m crying to Nanci Griffith songs…..
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
… Mayfield’s Butter Pecan…. Unless you’re going to make me a milkshake…. then, I’ll have pineapple, please….
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
…. their eyes, most definitely…. and then their mouth… I have a bit of a hearing problem, so in pubs or restaurants, I tend to focus on the mouth of the person speaking to me…. otherwise the background noise breaks up what they’re saying…
RED OR PINK?
… pink…. all day long….
WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
…. my temper…. once I get really, really angry, it is not a pretty thing to see….
WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
…. My Father….
WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
…. a pair of Levi’s blue jeans…. and white New Balance….
WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
…. a bowl of diced-up honeydew melon...
WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
…. The sound of a lawnmower mowing my lawn….. and this…
IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
…. Midnight blue….
FAVORITE SMELLS?
…. The honeysuckle that is growing over the railing of my deck….. new leather…. a Camel cigarette just before I light it….newly cut grass that I didn’t have to cut….
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
… my brother…. he’s outside now mowing my lawn…. He called to tell me that he was coming over…..
FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
…. Rugby Union, college football, billiards…..
DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
…. I have never needed to wear glasses…..
FAVORITE FOOD?
… my spaghetti after I’ve babied it all day…. ribs, nachos, baked beans, steak…. pasta… and absolutely anything that is covered in cheese….
SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
…. I hate scary movies with a blinding passion……
LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
… “Zulu!” …. I so totally love that movie…. I have to take it out and watch it at least once a quarter for dramatic renewal of purpose in my life…..
WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
… red.....
SUMMER OR WINTER?
… winter….. I’ve spent a lot of time in some really cold places…. and I always managed to find a way to get warm… I’ve also spent a lot of time in really, really hot places…. and I hardly EVER find a way to keep cool….. so yeah, I choose winter…. I’d rather be bundled up than sweating….
HUGS OR KISSES?
… kisses….
FAVORITE DESSERT?
…. Pineapple upside-down cake..
MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
… all memes come here to die… consider my humble blog as the internet’s equivalent of sheol for all meme’s that fate guides here…..
WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
… a Big Dog brand logo of their St. Bernard leaping forth from a broken computer monitor with “Byte Me!” typed above his snarling face….
WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
…. Fox News… and then I went and logged onto the net…
FAVORITE SOUND?
…. Guitars being fingerpicked by someone who knows what they’re doing…. That little ‘pop’ that the cork makes when it is gently taken out of a bottle of scotch…. Rain….
ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
…. The Stones, obviously….
WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
… Bangladesh is the farthest that you can geographically get from Tennessee….. been there a few times….
DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
…. I can sometimes be remarkably creative…
WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
… Bradley Memorial Hospital, Cleveland, TN….
WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
…. Done…..
very interesting answers Eric. Funny that you mentioned Zulu . That happens to be one of my all time favourie battle movies along with Waterloo by that Russkie Bondarchuck
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on June 20, 2007 08:47 PM
Christ...
Dude, I was soooo counting on you to not fold.
But... you...
It's not that I'm disappointed, just... well...
Yeah, I'm devastated.
Now I have to answer this turd.
Well done Eric - now are you going to answer DAX's meme?
- I'm glad I have never seen your anger.
- Strawberry Roan? I have never heard of it but it sounds like your hair.
- Levi's jeans, I am NOT surprised (are they the religious ones?)
- "remarkably creative", yet you choose to stay elusive with the details...intriguing...
… good morning, rubberneckers…. I trust that you guys are enjoying another fine Friday…. As for me?... fuggeddaboutit…. I have my silk goomba shirt all pressed and Sylvia already has her top down….. and The Missus & I are anxiously awaiting the Chosen Hour for a quick trip to Chattanooga…. For, lo, gentle peeps, there is a jewelrysmith 60 miles south of me who is poised, ready, and quivering in the anticipation of our arrival….. hell yeah, brothers and sisters, it is Jewelry Time…..
.. in other news?..... you know, I am completely shocked AND stunned at the amount of people who are blogging about still having their tonsils… good God, people…. don’t y’all realize that just isn’t safe?..... get thee hence to a doctor who owns a sharp scalpel before y’all’s heads fall off…. what the hell is the matter with you people?....
Tounsil's are evil only good thing about them is the ice cream you eat after the operation. They can be stubborn, I have had mine out three times and they are back again. Kind of like a bad women.
Hell raised by james old guy on June 15, 2007 11:56 AM
I still have my tonsils...why is that a bad thing?
No tonsils for me, but they are regenerative tissue, so they can come back. I have 1/4 of one on the left side that's back... Maybe I should find a circus to join!
…. I read with great pleasure this morning the story of GuyK’s continuing fishing odyssey…. and I left him a comment that pretty much said “you catch more fish in a single day than I have in my entire life.. “…..
… the truth is, I have never been much of a fisherman…. Personally, I blame my Father… he was a man of constant activity – always a flurry of motion – and the idea of sitting in the shade of a sycamore near some grassy creek-bank just didn’t do it for him….. sure, like any young hillbilly, I had lots of “fishing trips” out with my Dad….. but usually after sitting by the creek for twenty minutes and not even getting a nibble, we’d both get bored and end up making spears from saplings or skipping stones instead…… the whole “sitting and waiting” thing just wasn’t our style…..
… but now?... boys and girls, just let me tell you, I can sit and wait for DAYS…. I have hit my mellow stride with the full weight of a truly dedicated mind…. but back then, well, we were both just too easily distracted…..
…. As an adult I fared a bit better in the fishing department…. I’ve caught halibut and ling cod in the Bering Sea…. shark and sea bass in the Gulf of Mexico… rainbow trout and pike by the bucketful in pristine Alaskan lakes…. and bream, bluegill, crappie, and catfish from rivers and ponds all over Tennessee…… but I still don’t consider myself much of a fisherman….. it isn’t something that I actively seek out as a hobby….
…. having said that, there are a few “catches” that I will always remember….. fishing is funny that way, I guess….. like those “perfect” golf shots that you hit once per 18 holes……
…. I hooked a baby bluegill once when I was about 8 years old…. It wasn’t much bigger than a silver dollar, but I was thrilled….. I wrote about it once a long time ago… I will never forget that catch….
…. another time I was fishing off The Kuluk Clipper out in the Bering Sea and hooked a cod while trying for halibut….. I remember that when I reeled it in it was already dead from the change in pressure – me having hooked it while it was so deep in the water….. the poor beast’s eyes had popped from their sockets and its stomach was poking out of its mouth…..a helluva way to go, for sure….
…. I remember hooking a hellbender while fishing in the Tellico River…. Damn thing scared the bejesus out of me when I reached down to pick it up….. 12 inches long with beady little eyes….
…. I think that you have to have a certain mindset to truly be a fisherman… it’s not like hunting, really….. for with every cast of your line, there is hope….. and with every twist of the reel’s handle, there is anticipation….. and that is the thing, you know?..... there is an overwhelming beauty in having the capacity to be so hopeful, optimistic, and unswerving… and so incredibly steadfast as to keep on casting….. cast after cast……
Thanks Eric. Fishing has been a big part of my life...always I reckon. I don't remeber the first time I ever went fishing. Just sumthin I have always done.When I was on active duty I carried my rod and reel and a small tackle box every where I went and have fished in some strange places..and usually caught fish although most I didn't recognize and would not eat.
Jug line fishing for catfish is a different kind of fishing..we call it frying pot fishing because there is not much sport to it. The fish does have a chance though if it can twist ff that 4/0 hook before I run the jug line.
The best/worst fishing I've had is in Alaska. My mom lived in Anchorage and I went for a 2-week visit. I went out fishing for salmon with a guy and the river was so full with fish we hit the limit within 30 minutes.
"for with every cast of your line, there is hope….. and with every twist of the reel’s handle, there is anticipation….. and that is the thing, you know?..... there is an overwhelming beauty in having the capacity to be so hopeful, optimistic, and unswerving… and so incredibly steadfast as to keep on casting….. cast after cast…… "
Only you could make fishing sound like foreplay, Eric. And I'm sure you're better at it than you think... ;^)
I remember fishing with my dad at Lake Conroe. But, we used to go to the coast and go crabbing. Damn that was a lot of fun. It's a shame I can't teach my kids that.
My grandpa tried to make a fisherman out of me, but I was always too busy with other things, like skipping flat rocks on the water, eating, checking out the wriggly things along the waters edge. Now, I just don't have the patience or temperment or time.
My younger bro is another story. He can sit in a boat in the middle of the lake or on a pier, even if not catching a thing. He can do this all day, or until the beer runs out, whichever comes first.
My dh keeps talking about taking the eldest to the creek (S end of the farm) to go fishing. Have a feeling that will be Mama's job.
Yes.. I can bait a worm on my own hook :)
S.
Hell raised by farmwifetwo on June 14, 2007 10:07 AM
Personally, I barely know the difference between fishing and hunting, but I will say that Guyk, who I met last month in Texas, is about the nicest guy (with the most adorable smile, that lights up a room) I think I've ever met in my life. The 2-3 days I got to hang with him and Sweetthing, meet Miss Sassy, and chill in the Jayco, I felt like I naturally fell into the roll of being an adopted granddaughter. They just do not come any better than Guy.
Fishing is a fairly sacred activity for my family.
You hooked a hellbender?!! I found one of those in my an old slab pile I was burning and I thought...crap!...it's a freakin' Kimodo Dragon in Tennessee....arrrgh...where'd it come from! ...Run for your life...don't touch it!
Then I looked it up on the internet.
I had a similar reaction the first time I hooked one of those sucker fish in the creek. Used to fishing in salt water...it didn't occur to me that there would be something that weird looking in fresh for some reason.
... for those of you who are wondering what I am doing on this fine, humid, sunsoaked evening, my cat is over at Elisson's demonstrating.....
... and in other news, the local spider population around here is now on a rather marked decline... I say this since a fully-grown lizard of some sorts was just spotted running out from under the blogroom table with a hairy spiderleg hanging out of his toothless maw.....
... I definitely need more patio time this evening.....
…. Well, I am happy to inform you fine, gentle people that the question of the “glued mirror” has been conquered…. ( I know that you guys were at your wit’s ends worrying – and I am sorry that I made y’all wait so long)…. Oh, and thanks for all the helpful tips, by the way…. you guys are wonderful……
…. But in the end?..... yeah, I bailed….. sure, sure, I took the weak-willed route and decided to just tape around it and paint the wall as best I can…… but it should look alright just as long as I never break the mirror in a fit of passionate angst or anything….. and tomorrow is The Day, incidentally….. so as the Sun rises in the morning, the area around the mirror will get painted….. and hey, with any luck, it should look just grand… like they say of old, rubberneckers, we do live in hope…….
…. Also, I opened my special Bowmore this evening and I have not been disappointed….. the ‘Dawn’ is truly remarkable….. smoky and with a bit of iodine and citrus….. it truly is a beautiful malt…. and one well worth savoring……
… the thunderstorms missed us again today, in case you were wondering… which is a pity, really…… as we certainly do need the moisture…. all light and thunder and no action, once again……
… ahhhh, but tomorrow is another day….. so we’ll wait and see how that pans out……
… until then, I am off to sip my malt and ponder just what I should post at Brother Elisson’s house while he is away vacationing in Cancun……..
Come on! Whats a few body parts in your alcohol supply? Didn't you see the second Zorro movie with Antonio Banderas? Cary Elwes played an excellent villain who used parts of his victims to flavor his hooch. So a few 6-10,000 year old bodies is no big deal right?
Sadly you have been getting rookie advice on the mirror minor problem. You need a hair dryer and piano wire or similiar. Heat the mirror and slide the wire behind it to cut the glue. It takes a while if the mirror is worth it. If not have fun and do the marine thing.
Hell raised by james old guy on June 3, 2007 06:59 PM
Fortunately for most of your devoted reader, wit's end is a short drive.
… I eased into town earlier today and enjoyed a wonderful lunch with Big Stupid Tommy…. It was a great meeting…. He even brought me a present!.... of course, it was a book about Zombies, so I ooh’ed and ahh’ed for a while and told him wonderful, thoughtful, and nice he was…. but deep down?.... it certainly threw me right off my Triple Prime Burger… even though it was seared to a hardy, well-done consistency…
.. still, though, even with the Zombies providing a bit of a mood-kill, we still managed to have a good time…. Tommy is a goodun, folks….. and as usual, it is always a pleasure to watch him gnaw on chicken breasts…..
… in other news (in regards to the destruction redecorating of the Master Bathroom), it appears that the gentlemen who built my humble home glued the mirror – a 6ft X 4ft monster – to the bathroom wall…..
…. look, I'm sorry, but WTF? …. I mean, what kind of hammerheaded mouthbreather would glue my mirror to my wall?...... answer?... one worthless motherfucker, that’s what kind of hammerheaded mouthbreather he is……
…. So, I beg upon y’alls tender mercies (and because you guys are much smarter than me)….
…Anyone know how to safely take down a huge bathroom mirror without it being smashed into a million itsy bitsy pieces?.... OR, am I looking at the problem all wrong?... is there some secret, magical way that builders hang bathroom mirrors that I am not privy to?....
… c’mon…. be nice… and help a brother out….. otherwise I’m busting that bastard up with a hammer come Monday… and we can just buy a new mirror to replace it……
I sent an email to my Dad. He knows everything. We'll see what he says... I'll email you if he has an answer. I'm redoing our Master bath this summer and suspect we'll find ourselves in the same predicament.
Ah yes, liquid nails.
We had the same problem.
My hub gently peeled the mirror off and then patched the walls afterwards.
I asked him how he did it and he just replied with "very carefully".
glue is nothing but polymer, all you need is a good solvent, or if it is dry enough and brittle you can probably just pry it off the wall...carefully. I'd say the same thing that dissolves super glue would solve you problem.
You have a perfectly good excuse to totally destroy something & yet you're looking a way to it safely?!? Just get out the hammer & have fun. C'mon, it's the best part of remodeling. :-D
You need a long thin screwdriver or other very thin pry tool. You need a large amount of fingernail polish remover, you can purchase this at a beauty supply store. A good prybar or crow bar is also needed.
Pry out a corner of the mirror and dump in some of the remover. Wait 20 minutes.
After you discover this will not work, smash the SOB with the crowbar. And have some fun. You are going to have to do major wall repair anyway.
Hell raised by Hoosierboy on June 1, 2007 07:29 AM
An alternative is to cut the sheetrock around it , lay it face down on a smooth surface, gently pry the sheetrock off the back. Get a new peice of sheetrock and patch the hole, the reapply the mirror using mirror holders and screws..
Trust me this will save a lot of trouble, as well as time. Will however deprive you of the joy of just smashing the hell out of it. You'll probably not be able to salvage the sheetrock behind it in any case.
If you ask me, and you did, I think of it as the perfect opportunity to shoot yourself, without killin' yourself. Go into the bathroom. AR and all, best fuckin' Rambo get up, knife in the teeth and all and introduce your reflection to you little friend... Yeah, I'm a 'Neck. Hilarity will ensue. Hopefully no Jailarity.
Oh my God, Eric...did you click on that zombie link? Jesus, it was awful. Uch, and the squishy urgly dyspeptic barfeous sound effects I could have also done without.
You don't have to bust it up, get a box cutter and cut through the dry wall around YOUR mirror glued to YOUR wall by the idiot who previously owned YOUR home. But to be on the safe side, if he has a problem with it....tell him Big Stupid Tommy to you to do it. (pay back for giving you the Zomies)
Someone said nail polish remover - go to the local beauty supply place.
Oh, do that Eric!!! I want to see the post that comes from a trip to the local beauty supply place. Screw the mirror, that would be classic. *grin*
If you do have to break the mirror - use some sort of tape over the places you're going to do the breaking to keep the pieces from falling all over. If you can find a way to do it without breaking the mirror - that would be good too - cause you know you'll never find all the shards when you clean up and one will certainly land in someone's bare foot. heh.
If you don't get an answer.. email me. I'll call my Dad.. he ran (and installed/cut etc too) at my Uncle's glass shop before he retired.
S.
Hell raised by farmwifetwo on June 2, 2007 01:32 PM
Pam's suggestion will do the trick, most likely. Just be sure it is hardened, aka "piano wire." Any solvent to be used in large quantities had better be non-flammable. Something might be gained by researching appropriate solvents for dried "Liquid Nails".
Removal of the wall, studs and all, with a chain saw will certainly fire up the macho man inside, but the mess is hardly worth the effort. That is, unless you were planning on taking the wall out anyway...
….. you know, I really am a man of very few talents….. sure, I can cook, clean, play a bit of guitar, and I’m a fair shot with a rifle at ranges of less than 600 yards, but that really is just about the extent of my ability to do anything overly-productive… so I am definitely in the market for some new party tricks….
…. and stumbling around youtube today, I do believe that I have found the next notch to be carved into my hobby-list…. I mean, just check this guy out…..
…. I don’t know about you guys, but I think we should invite him to Helen this year…. He’d make a grand addition to The Elderly Brothers, eh Jimbo?….. and Denny could even let him fill in for his kazoo solos…… it’d certainly save him from the ignominy of having me slip it in at either an inopportune time or backwards…. like last year…. and the year before…. and the year before that…..
Howdy, Eric...just need to address something Bou mentioned: Woman, since he posted this, it has resurrected, en force, my obsession with hand-farting, and this guy is, by far, The Master. I mean, just WOW to how loudly he can project his special sounds. But, what I wanted to say was that, after a little research, I discovered that not only has be been hand-farting for more than 37 years, but, he also owns a gun shop in Michigan. Next thing you'll know, we'll find out he also enjoys aged Single Malt Scotch and riding in his convertable with the top rolled down.
I see Eric hasn't learned his lesson...he'll just let any old varmint up in here.
Of course, having known the Velocigod for some years now, I'm entirely aware that he might well have recruited one of his legions of "Intrepids" to hack into the Straight White Lodging, providing him plausible deniability for the content of the post linked above.
Since the president of the Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez fan club has seen fit to exhume the Senator's corpse once again, in order to cast disparagement upon mine and Eric's heritage as such:
I'd rather be dead, like a bump on a log,
Than red on the head, like the dick on a dog.
I feel obligated to return fire to the extent possible, always keeping in mind the VelociOne's facility with words, and insults.
Just call me Blondie. Or Reddie, as it were.
I have, you see, witnessed the phenomenon of Velociman hung over to the nth degree, huddled over a gargantuan plate of breakfast in where else? The Huddle House. Not jut any Huddle House, mind you, but the Helen, GA location. Helen, home of waitresses missing many teeth and possessed of more than their fair share of rear end. Yes, rubberneckers, hammerheads, and pinheads...I have the goods on Velocifeller, and I demand a retraction.
Or an extra glass of Artillery punch at the next Helen throwdown.
I know about the monkeys too, Velocifeller. And the spiders. And "breaking left".
Eh, don't take it so bad, Donnie. I come from a long line of Scottish redheads, and seem to produce them. And my hair turns red as the sun reaches its zenith. I just wanted to insult Eric without mentioning his, er, shortcomings.
And for a small Velociconsideration, I shall postpone indefinitely my plans to pot video of the infamous Claxton meet, in which Velociman demonstrates the effect of dispatching an entire fifth of Ketel One all by his lonesome. It ain't pretty.
... well, folks... when I am logged in and you visit the page, you see live video and audio.... of me sitting here smoking cigarettes and reading blogs...
….. well, ladies and gentlemen, I have just had the pleasure of cooking ribs, boiling up some beans, and kneading biscuits for the proprietor of Back Home Again…… indeed, I sent him on his way this morning after a healthy breakfast and an incredibly pleasant conversation…….
… Jerry, you are good people….. and don’t think that I didn’t feel a huge tinge of guilt this morning as we parted….. mainly for me whipping your tail mercilessly at 10-ball last night…. but also for us stiffing the waitress from her pocket money this morning at Shoney’s….
..... sure, I know that you footed the bill and left her a tip on your credit card….. but man, it just don’t seen right to not leave cash at the table…….. and yes, I know that both events were entirely my fault, but I still feel guilty for not leaving her some green…..
…. in short, I should have been a better host……. But still, you are always welcome to visit again…… hell, I might have cash next time!..... so just give me an hour or so head’s-up so that I can correctly proffer some boneless ribs for the grill, and I will always be set…… seriously, the Wife and I had a wonderful time…..
... and I am proud of the way that you dug into my beans, man...... dude, I was impressed.....
Eric,
Wait a minute. I thought we were playing 8-ball. I demand a rematch.
Other than kicking my ass at pool, you and your lovely wife were excellent hosts. The meal was wonderful. The beans were da bomb. I had a most excellent time. Thanks so much.
"... and I am proud of the way that you dug into my beans, man...... dude, I was impressed....."
Wow. As Elisson said, "The random Internet surfer, upon happening on this comment thread, could only imagine what The Backstory might be..." True dat. Sounds like someone sure did break right.
Eric,
My uncle used to tell the story of me kneeling beside the bed, saying my prayers before I went to bed. Along came my big brother and he goosed me. My uncle said I just didn't stand a chance.
…. good morning, rubberneckers…. I hope this fine, frosty morning finds you all getting exactly what you deserve…… as for me, it is a orange juice, bacon, and biscuit kind of morning…. which, of course, is exactly what I deserve…..
…. and for your morning reading enjoyment, I would like to direct you over to Skippy’s pad….. as usual, he hits the nail on the proverbial head with a stunning intellect…. For instance, he has this to say:
….I seriously doubt that the Framers intended the First Amendment as a constitutional guarantee of syndication in the lucrative Boisie market, and anyone who uses the words "comedy" and Don Imus" in the same sentence should be forced to climb Kilimanjaro with broken hands and feet. Unless of course that sentence is "Scientists discover Imus is the antidote to comedy." that would be fine….
…. which is quite insightful….. but then, we have the final shot across the bow…..
If America has really been reduced to taking sides in a pissing match between two amoral shitheads like Don Imus and Al Sharpton, maybe the terrorists should win….
I had recommended the very post to which you refer, in a comment I made over at Big Hominid's Hairy Chasms. Skippy, as usual, gets it right. Dead solid perfect.
"If America has really been reduced to taking sides in a pissing match between two amoral shitheads like Don Imus and Al Sharpton, maybe the terrorists should win…."
Allow me to add Canada to that statement and also a loud Amen brother.
I hope it is real bacon, none of that pussy fake diet good for you bullshit bacon.
Hell raised by james old guy on April 16, 2007 03:33 PM
And sadly the rest of the news today will put all of this bullsh*t to bed permanently. I feel guilty to be kind of glad about that...
Hell raised by Richmond on April 16, 2007 04:10 PM
Al who? What is Imus? I'm tired of this shit already. Wasn't that last week's news. Whats Al got to say about the Duke case now that he's contributed to screwing' those boys permanently>
I ain't heard nothin'. Not one "oop's I was wrong"... nothing.
Hehehehehe... well of course Skippy is absolutely right. Then again - having heard Imus once and Al Sharpton once - I knew it before Skippy wrote it. *grin*
I thought you meant Walrilla was almost a zombie...
I can see me now...falling in love with my young-hunk-tragically-knocked-down-in-his-prime zombie servant...if he gave good foot massages...I wonder how bad they stink...
I ain't gonna jack with you about zombies this time, Eric. Especially since ya sent a Straight-White-Guy-alanche over to my site to rocket me past the coveted 10,000!
Hell raised by Walrilla on April 12, 2007 11:07 PM
.... hey, whatever he is gifting, it has gotta be good..... so go over now and visit.... he'll think it was me and I'll get the prize!... (I do promise to share, though.... you guys know how sensitive that I am... and I am always fair...).....
Should I win and your site appears on Brother E's referral logs, if the prize is something composed of sundried mammalian testicles or buffalo dungpies fashioned into cowboy boots, trust me, Kimosabi, you can keep all the loot.
... everything you ever wanted to know about me and MORE!....
... scary stuff, if you ask me....
Update: .... as is my idiom, I am off to town in search of a hot lunch and a cool beverage…. and then, perhaps, a movie…. so y’all be careful out there…. drive safely, chew your food well, and take your vitamins…… oh, and don’t talk to strangers…. unless they’re really, really interesting…..
It was vanity, Rube. Of course. But anyhoo we would have all known anyway. How many unemployed people go looking for the perfect hotdog and singlemalt Scotch every single day in every other post?
Bingo!
Was his name!
Hell raised by Velociman on April 4, 2007 10:42 PM
Eric: Putting the "anal" in "analysis" since 1972.
I did this thing..it didn't tell me much that I didn't already know..something about me being an egotistical asshole and craving attention and wierd..what the hell..why else would I blog?
... you know, I've never wanted to own a Glock.... but I do know quite a few people that do own Glocks.... and, to a MAN, each of them would agree wholeheartedly with this post..... even right up to the "chambering of the 155mm HE round".......
.... which is kinda sad, really..... but hey, it's good to have customer loyalty..... and Glock has that in spades......
…. A while back, ole Oom Keesie posted a few interesting pictures of “metal people” that he’d found out on the net…. whimsical things, they were still quite good… so in his comments I mentioned that I once made myself a big copper lizard during a fit of insufferable boredom that I was experiencing a few years back….. you know, as you do….
… well, as the internet is one crazy-assed place, Mr. Keesie asked (of course) to be blessed with a photo of my amazing lizard….. and honestly, who am I to deny that poor African a chance to gaze lovingly at my big copper lizard?.... hell, as far as I know, it is a one-of-a-kind…. an original piece of artistic sculpture’in that I created with my own two little hands, a chisel, a hammer, a drill, a pocket knife, an anvil, and a pair of pliers…….
… anyway, my lizard is composed of seven pieces of copper….. either wound wire, single-strand wire, or cut piping that had been flattened and shaped……
….. one piece of heavy-gauge wire that I twisted and bent to create the main skeleton/structure… two more pieces of single-strand wire which wound across the head (creating the tongue) and down the neck and front legs to be bent into the front two “feet”…… and two more pieces twisting around the belly…. and down the back legs to create the back “feet”….. the “head” is an old piece of copper piping that I clipped with a chisel and then beat-to-shape on an anvil…. And the final piece of copper is some fine wire that I used to “sew” the head-plate onto the circular loop of the “skeleton”….
… it turned out pretty well, if I do say so myself…. especially when you consider that the whole design was thought up by me and my Father late one evening while I was drinking gin and he was zoned out on Duragesic patches…..
….. and the added bonus is that the whole thing is completely bendable… you can twist that badboy into just about any pose you would ever desire for a big, tarnished copper lizard to be in….. but right now?.... he’s hanging on the wall near the pool table with his scrawny neck craned around as if he’s watching the game….. check it out, here he is…..
… sure, sure, the lighting isn’t all that great…. and the angles are a bit funky…. But that’s him….. my one and only “sculpture”….. a copper dinosaur-lizardy type thing….. and in my defense, hey, I made this little guy before I ever started a blog…. I mean, it’s not like I wanted anyone to ever actually SEE my work…
... oh, and the music in the background?.... Paul Lamb & The Kingsnakes covering "Madison Blues".... just in case y'all were wondering.......
.... mercy, folks... there must be something in the water... Brother Elisson is talking about reptiles too.....
Every once in awhile, there's a hiccup in cyberspace and you land in a blog that you had no intention on visiting. Most times you read that entry and move on. Sometimes you find yourself drawn in, and the next thing you know, that blog is in your favorites and becomes a part of your daily life. Not unlike TiVo in the sense that you can always catch up on what you've missed. Most of the time a blogger knows and interacts with his readers. Sometimes there is the silent observer...the lucid blurker that knows alot about you, yet you are blisfully unaware of them.
I can't believe he talked that much about spicy beef jerky and had no mention at all about the Coke required to properly wash it down. He was abviously lying about the whole affair.
…. growing up in the rural East Tennessee – and surrounded by 15 to 20 male cousins all roughly my age – I often found myself a lion’s share of mischief….. roaming the hot countryside with .22 rifle in hand pretending to be Davy Crockett…. swinging from the high rafters of the tobacco barn ala Tarzan…. If you can think if up, then my cousins and I probably attempted it…
… having said that, however, we were never afforded an opportunity like the golden one El Capitan wrote about a few days ago…..
….. 14 year old boys…. mercy…. all that I can say is? … our poor, poor Mothers and Fathers…. and the really funny thing is that I know of quite a few bloggers who have children at (or swiftly approaching) that age…. You guys and gals know who you are…. and y’all are in for quite a ride…..
.. trust me….
… anyway, as I made my very first pot roast a few weeks back and utterly kicked its ass, I shall be attempting climb that culinary pinnacle once again this afternoon…… word….. and I am hugely optimistic that it will be out-of-this-world on the tastiness scale…. yes, yes, gentle rubberneckers, I am just that fucking good…….
… so enjoy your Sunday, people…. it is absolutely glorious here…. I’m off to hold down the patio furniture and listen to the birds argue over nesting sites……
Good luck with the pot roast and thanks for the link to the story - I missed that one, and that is NOT one to miss!
PS - "growing up in the rural East Tennessee – and surrounded by 15 to 20 male cousins all roughly my age" - that sounds like it would've been *lots* of fun to me. ;)
Tobacco barn? Does that mean that you grow your own??
I always found it strange that everybody and their dog grew their own pot but nobody I've ever known of around here grows their own tobacco. There is one spot I know of that grows it (Kentville, NS) but it's an official farm.
Guess that has to be because if you grow your own tobacco the gov't will stomp your ass into submission for cutting off their revenue but they _don't_ lose any cash on pot production and actually get a few bucks in revenue in fines. Do I sound reasonably cynical or is there a better reason why nobody grows their own smokes?
Somehow...that doesn't surprise me at all. I always did have a hard time imagining you sitting on the deck enjoying nature with a laptop clicking away.
I used to write longhand..wore out a lot of pencil rubber that way..but now my fingers will not hardly let me sign my name. But I can hunt and peck on a keyboard..a lot faster than I can write and I don't wear out as many pencil rubbers
There's something inexplicably reassuring about seeing a blogpost in handwritten draft form on a garden table, surrounded by a Zippo, cigarette case, fancy schmancy pen, and a coffee mug.
Ahhhhhhhhh...spring is undeniably here. Definitely a reason to celebrate.
I have a few posts like that myself. And the wierd thing is, is that they come out completely different on paper than they do typed, even if I write them out first. Strange?
... mercy, I think that I need a more exciting hobby....
.. in other news, I found this over at Amazingly Enough..... my day is just getting better and better..... whoo hoo!....
... I'm off to town to lunch with my Mother and Brother at a new little Italian place that just opened..... I'm thinking veal....
UPDATE: ... according to RSM and this story, perhaps my video was more exciting than I knew!?.... I tell you what, people, I am a lot luckier than I originally thought!...
Hell raised by bitterman on March 22, 2007 04:33 PM
I was thinking. Instead of sitting there eating a sandwich and whining about lack of an exciting hobby, try this. Bolt your camera to an old football helmet. Lasso the nearest bossy. Start said camera and throw a leg over cow. Exciting hobby ensues. You could just roll through the county randomly clicking off 8 second passes in pastures near and far. Might even make the newspapers, that.
Hell raised by bitterman on March 22, 2007 04:36 PM
"You ain't never had meat to you had cow meat," a coworker told me when I was 16, working summer construction. And after sheetrocking all day in Statesboro he'd pull over his Hemi Cuda on the side of Highway 80 on the way back to Savannah and get him some cow meat. I did bong hits, and tried not to look.
Hell raised by Velociman on March 22, 2007 10:13 PM
…. Well, Leesa’s Blog Battle is almost over…. cheers and a big thank you to all who took the time to vote…. I appreciate y’all’s time and effort…. Oh, and I promise not to get myself nominated for anything else that requires blogger participation….
… still, though, you guys rock…. I’m running a tight second place and it’s been a lot of fun… I’ve enjoyed reading a few new blogs that I had not seen before – and that is always a good thing….
…. Time is ticking by slowly this Sunday for some reason, and I just can’t put my finger on it…. Tennessee is scheduled to party-down with Virginia at noon on the tube, and I have two excellent salmon cutlets marinating in a bourbon & pecan mixture that is so good that it makes you want to smack your Momma for never having made it for you as a child…..
… but other than that, ‘tis just business as usual around my humble, rural acre… the grass is greeing, the dogwoods are budding, but it is still a bit too breezy to have some quality hammock time….
…. the day is coming though, and it is just around the corner….
… after all, soon we’ll all be bitching about it being too damn hot outside….. at least none of the local mosquitoes have hatched out yet… counting blessings over here, boss!.... hey, I’d rather be forced to lay in the hammock covered in a fleece than slathered with anti-bug spray any day……
Bacillus thuringiensis var. israelensis dude, Bacillus thuringiensis var. israelensis. Sprinkle everywhere that's wet, and don't be shy about doing your neighbours after dark, too.
… four whitetail doe skirted the edge of the tree-line out back this morning as I drank my coffee….. they kept close to the tangled woodland and furtively stretched their necks out over my newly green lawn to test the grass with their lips….
… delicate things – secretive and fragile – they moved with precision… and there was an overwhelming aura of caution that permeated the air when you watched them move… not timid, no, ready to flee or fight, but not resigned to their fate….
… individuals, and part of a group…. I watched them for nearly fifteen minutes before they disappeared into the gray maze of the budding, leafless oaks and poplars…..
… you know, it’s hard to be a voyeur around these parts, but I give it one hell of an effort…….
... oh, and go and vote now, dammit.... the wimmins are kicking my tail.....
When I voted earlier, you were down three... looks like your team pulled a three pointer for you...
BTW, I got a good look at a "group" of about 5 yesterday mornin' on the way to work. I slowed to see if they were gonna cross, or wait for me to get the hell out of the way.
… so I’m sitting here tired and sunburned (… tired from the trip to the gym that my Evil Brother forced upon me early this morning– and sunburned from my patio time while trying to recover from aforementioned gym trip/saga.. ) and I am at a complete loss for words…..
… sure, sure, I could tell all you hammerheads about the infamous ClaxtonRattlesnakeWrestlingExcursion, but where would the fun in that be?... hey, if y’all want to know what goes on with the Jawja Bloggers hit town for a blogmeet, then come along!.... don’t be expecting yours truly to be dishing out the dirty details for all you sit-at-home types after the fact…. you want to run with the Big Dogs?... then get your lazy asses off of the porch and howl a little…..
.. so, other than that?.... I got nothing….. hell, I’ve got so much nothing that I am thinking of starting up a sale on nothing and offering free, freshly made cupcakes to anyone who’ll line up to take a spoonful of my nothing off my hands…. Yeah, it’s that bad…. and to top it off, there is a Blog Battle going on while I am woefully content-less!!.... mercy, folks….. woe betide the blog-loafer, people….. hey, vote if you want, but I don’t deserve to win…..
… anyway, as I was sitting around getting burned by the Sun this afternoon, I was casually leafing through an ancient book of poetry that I was gifted a while back by Army Wife Toddler Mom when she visited….. an original Ogden Nash, ladies and gentlemen…... and in it, I found these lines which just made my day…. behold…..
I Must Tell You About My Novel, by Ogden Nash
My Grandpa wasn’t salty,
No hero he of fable,
His English wasn’t faulty,
He wore a coat at table.
His character lacked the color
Of either saint or satyr,
His life was rather duller
Than that of Walter Pater
Look at Grandpa, take a look!
How can I write a book!
His temper wasn’t crusty,
He shone not forth majestic
For barroom exploits lusty,
Or tyranny domestic.
He swung not on the gallows
But went to his salvation
While toasting stale marshmallows,
His only dissipation.
Look at Grandpa, take a look!
How can I write a book!
My Uncle John was cautious,
He never slipped his anchor,
His probity was nauseous,
In fact he was a banker.
He hubbed no hubba hubbas,
And buckled he no swashes,
He wore a pair of rubbers
Inside of his galoshes.
Look at my Uncle, take a look!
How can I write a book!
My other Uncle, Herbie,
Just once enlarged his orbit,
The day he crushed his derby
While cheering James J. Corbett.
No toper he, or wencher,
He backed no horse or houri,
His raciest adventure
A summons to the jury.
Look at my Uncles, take a look!
How can I write a book!
Round my ancestral menfolk
There hangs no spicy aura,
I have no racy kinfolk
From Rome to Gloccamora.
Not nitwits, not Napoleons,
The mill they were the run of,
My family weren’t Mongolians;
Then whom can I make fun of?
Look!
No book!
…. Things are dry, people…. very, very dry…… and hey!... Look!... no book!....
Nuthin' to say? Wish I had your kind of nuthin' right now 'cause my kind of nuthin' looks, sounds and feels like a black hole in comparison... I don't even have jeans to mourn... I live an uninspiring, unexciting life.
Maybe what we need at my house is a porch. Can't get off the porch if you don't have one... And dogs... don't have one of those either... Perhaps I could trade for one of my teenage daughters? They are really good at organizing..... mayhem. :o) Going once...
Hell raised by Lemon Stand on March 15, 2007 12:32 PM
I did notice that you and V-man are looking more and more alike at each blog meet according to the photo's.
Hell raised by James Old Guy on March 15, 2007 01:41 PM
Eric: the Seinfeld of Blogging, Nasty Bumppo hizzownself.
…. Good afternoon, my fine friends…. It’s a glorious day here in the valley…. The woodpeckers are woodpeckering in the back yard, the froglets are singing in the empty lot across the street, and I’m just inside from swinging in the hammock on the deck and wishing everything would just shut the fuck up so that I could catch a nap…. (it takes more than a mere 24 hours to properly recover and recharge one’s batteries after a successful blogmeet, people…)
… in other news, I see that I have been honored by being a finalist in Leesa’s “Battle of the Blogs” endeavor….. Leesa, ma’am, thanks…. You’ve put a lot of hard work into it, and you deserve a medal or something… or maybe just a really nice BLT on white toast with some ice cold Newcastle to wash it all down…. but either way, thank you for including me in your competition….
… as for the rest of you rubberneckers, get over there and read some of the fine blogs represented…. And vote for the one that you like the bestest…..
… what am I up to?.... I’m off in search of sunscreen and a set of ear plugs…. it’s nappin’ time in Tennessee, folks…..
Update: .... everyone's favorite blogging Hillbilly has a pome poem that all bloggers should read.... that is all....
Funny you should mention the pomes of buddy don (who I love), as I had seen that pome the other day and thought of you. The man has some serious talent.
By the way, I voted for ya leaving-the-competition-in-the-dust-freckled-ass. I hope you win something nice.
Same here, I voted. You've got something like 26% of the vote, which ain't bad considering that there are 16 blogs. Maybe you'll get a cookie or something.
... I'm away, rubberneckers..... 'tis That Time once again..... and I have to say, I am absolutely beside myself with anticipation.... see, I have never seen a Miss Rattlesnake before.... I'll be sure to snap her photo for you guys....
... so y'all be careful now... and remember....... it's a jungle savannah out there......
… ladies and gentlemen, should you feel so inclined this evening, please venture over and have a read… (me and my compatriot are in Game Four)..... but hey, I aint much for battlin’ (unless it is Scotch-induced), but feel free to give my fellow blogger a read and then cast a vote one way or the other…..
… we’re all cool, children…. and it’s all in fun…. This blogging business is taking psychosis and cirrhosis to a whole new and lovable level….. and hey, it is a very good thing that we let all of our horizons be broadened from time to time…….
.. there is room in this here blogosphere for all of us......
…. It is an unfortunate fact that we all live in a world of free-flowing misconceptions…. our news, literature, art, culture - they can all be interpreted differently…. point of view, education, morality, and state-of-mind – they are all act in concert to form our uniquely personal perspectives….
… we witness strange tangents of thought arcing through our lives on an almost daily basis…. And they arrive on our plate of daily intake in a glorious myriad of forms…. conspiracy theories, half-heard punch lines, misspellings on the CNN tickertape…. and in some cases, from blogs….
According to a couple of sewing websites, pants can require about 1 1/2 yards to 3 yards of fabric to make. You're a pretty tall rangy guy, Eric, so we'll say 3 yards. We'll subtract half a yard to make up the difference between fabric yards and square yards, leaving us with 2.5 square yards.
Dividing 2.5 by 0.042 sq. yards per dead mole gives us 59.52 dead moles! Add in another half dozen for belt loops, zipper covers and pockets, and we're up to 66 dead moles!
So, it looks like you're walking around with your ass covered in 66 dead moles.
…. Moleskins, indeed…..
.. have I told you guys recently just how much I love y’all?.... well, just because I don’t say it very often… hey, that doesn’t mean that I don’t….
So I am thinking. Pamela Anderson, that oracle of all things just, has rejected Uggs (ugly big boots) because they are from Lambskin, etc... I am wondering... I mean PETA is big on protecting the animals and all... but moles? I am not sure they are classified as animals - thinking rodents, so treated differently when it comes to testing and such. And what on earth would we call boots from moles... There must be some catchy name, but it is escaping me.
But in case rsm reads the comments, perhaps he might want to invest in mole farms? Just a thought.
…. further to commenter Rey B’s concerns, I am incredibly happy to report to you all that I managed to keep last night’s chops from bursting into flames.. and thus, I kept my luxurious pelt singe-free… (my right arm still hasn’t totally recovered from last week’s lamb chop related firebombing) …..
…. so y’all can rest easy, gentle people…. I know how each of you dote upon my health and stay up late into the night wringing your hands worrying for my safety….. but I continue to remain happily orbiting around the cusp of Just Plain Awesome and One Foot In The Grave…. Yin and Yang, and all that funky stuff…. hey, it is the way we’re supposed to live….
… as a case in point, I stopped off at the local Krystal’s yesterday lunchtime and introduced my Brother in Law to the sensory overload that is the Krystal Chili Cheese Pup……ladies and gentlemen, he was absolutely awed by the sheer amount of goodness that could be crammed into such a tiny bun…. Yea, verily… I even heard “God Bless America” slither forth from between his chili-grease stained lips after only the second bite!....
… and after our nutritious meal?... you guessed it, people, I was off to my medical appointment… and there the tender hands of a knowledgeable professional kneaded me back into healthy alignment and soothed my knotted muscles….
… Yin and Yang….. see?....
… anyway, we’re all off for a nice drive into the mountains this afternoon to try to clear our heads with some fresh air after last night’s marathon poker session & smoke-in…. after all, I need to rebuild my strength as much as possible… the First Annual Jawja Blogger Rattlesnake Wrestling Competition in Claxton is only two weeks away….
Rattlesnakes? There are easier ways to get liquored up, you know. I bet you could probably get a quart of scotch and a sixer into the Tulip Festival at Callaway Gardens, too. Tulips are a lot less, um......flled with venom.
Hell raised by bitterman on February 23, 2007 11:49 AM
Where can we score us some Chinese Snake-Bile Wine, I wonder?
Hell raised by Elisson on February 23, 2007 02:06 PM
Gasp, wheeze.. pulled myself away from on-call and Anna Nicole coverage (boy, she must need some coverage by now!) in time to read about the unfortunate Lamb Chop incident. My advice, stay away from barbecuing sock puppets for now.
Hell raised by Cappy on February 23, 2007 05:56 PM
Good Lord - I am so glad you are out there taking one for the team... Team Bacchus Rules! ;-)
Hell raised by Richmond on February 23, 2007 07:28 PM
….. you know, I’m just as fragile as the next guy… and to badly quote Shakespeare, if you cut me, do I not bleed?....
.. sure, I know that was rhetorical, but yes, I do…
… and that is precisely why I cannot stand idly by and let this African’s slander slip by without retort….
.. for it is not for MY honor that I defend, people, but that of my darling Sylvia… his photo does not NEARLY do her justice…. And trust me, folks, she has a rear end that is sexy as hell…. Here is a photo of the real backside of Sylvia….
… from time to time I’ve been told that when it comes to presents, gifts, or general tokens of esteem, I am a hard man to buy for…. but I am here to tell you, folks, that nothing could be further from the truth…. for, after all, I am a simple, low-maintenance kind of fellow… I’m a jeans & a tee-shirt, meat & potatoes guy…. and I tend to enjoy just about every present – regardless of what it may be…..
…. today, all of that changed…. For now I own a big, brown, hairy, Texas bull’s nutsack that has been lovingly fashioned into some sort of be-handled pouch…..
…. of course, I have Elisson to thank for today’s UPS-delivered surprise…. And I really wish that he could have seen my face as I dug through the Styrofoam peanuts and blindly laid hands on that fuzzy bag… and hey, it took a while before the profundity of exactly what it was that I was holding in my hands sunk in….
…. initially I imagined that it was a sort of warning from one of you rabid rubberneckers … (like a stallion’s severed head in the bed when one awakes after pissing off a mobster)…. a macabre calling card of sorts to show that they knew where I lived… and that MY nutsack might be next…. but fortunately I found the card that contained the explanation from Elisson that he “simply saw it and just KNEW that I HAD to have one!”.....
…. listen up, dear souls…. THAT is love….. it takes a special kind of bond for one to feel so completely uninhibited with one’s fellow blogger that it is deemed appropriate to send a sun-dried scrotum across 1500 miles….
… I am blessed and awed and humbled and humbled….. yes, I said humbled twice…. You should see the size of the satchel, people…. sure, the contributor may now be an ex-bovine… but if I were a betting man, I’d say that his missus was one satisfied cow…..
... actually, I was quite surprised by how supple the hair was.... I'd have thought it would have been more coarse.... hey, you live and learn.....
I think Richmond is onto something here... where to hang it. Perhaps it should be hung over your bed as a sign of verility! ;-) I bet the wife would LOVE that one!!
Then again, maybe you could peruse the local pubs, filling it full of condums, passing them out reminding the young to practice safe sex. You could be the Safety King, carrying your bull scrotum far and wide...
.. sorry, Bou.... but the damnable thing smells WAY to bad to be hung inside..... right about now, I am thinking that it is a great potential Christmas gift for one of my cousins......
Huh, I want to say I'm speechless but actually what I'm thinking is not printable.... (after all, one never REALLY knows if my mother will ever read this) Think I will send the link to my husband.... along with a note that says "Just say no!" The time that would last in my house would be counted in seconds as I know what that must smell like!
Hell raised by Lemon Stand on February 7, 2007 09:56 AM
Tell me this is a joke.
People actually take a bull's nutsack, clean it out, preserve the ... leather? And then use the material for a bag?
If you played golf you could keep your balls in it,,,hang the bag on your golf bag, wouldn't that be a conversation starter on the course?? *L*
Hell raised by Michele on February 7, 2007 11:47 AM
No joke, Fiona. We Texans do worse things than that. There's a company that'll take the bull's hoo-hah, dry it out, and form it into a walking cane. They call it a "pizzle stick".
Hell raised by El Capitan on February 7, 2007 01:20 PM
Yep, good old Elisson, couldn't be from anyone but.
Hell raised by Lisa W. on February 8, 2007 08:01 AM
I'm really, a few days later, still at such a loss for words. I mean, for real, it looks like a great big cow pattie, and I think if someone ever sent me "a big, brown, hairy, Texas bull’s nutsack that has been lovingly fashioned into some sort of be-handled pouch…," I'd be forced to kick the shit out of them.
But I can definitely see how one would interpret receiving such a preset in the mail as an act of true love between two men. Y'all are truly a contemporary David and Jonathan.
In regards to the missus cow being satisfied, while the bull's sack is rather large, the, uh... (how do I put this delicately?) "other part" is quite small in comparison & you'd be surprised at how easily they can break. Horses on the other hand... (coming from someone with experience in equine artificial insemination in college...)
And I used to help castrate the lambs growing up, but we never kept souveniers. Hope you have a "ball" with your new oddity, though.
Hell raised by LadyGunn on February 12, 2007 01:44 AM
... indeed, Ruth, indeed..... one of my ancestors was a judge who helped in the beheading of Charles... he was murdered later while in exile in Switzerland by an Irish assasin.... crazy stuff....
… good morning, fellow travelers…. I hope that this fine morning glows in upon you with the promise of warmth and sunshine…. even if it is raining outdoors…
… as for me, I am happy to report that Mr. Helpful is alive and well and still rocking and rolling…. Go forth and give him a virtual noogie for making us all check his content-less blog for months and months….
.. in other news, I injured my back a bit yesterday while playing basketball at the YMCA… I am sure that my Chiropractor is just going to be all tulips and bonbons when I see them later in the week… oh, well… it’s nice to get a verbal smackdown once in a while…. It keeps you humble…. but still, what he Hell was I thinking?... basketball, for goodness sake…. people aren’t supposed to be jumping around like that…. it’s pure craziness, if you ask me….
… I just need to take a step back and find a more sedentary way of getting my heart rate up… perhaps watching an action movie with lots of suspense would be a suitable proxy for sports?.... hey, it might work….
…. Oh, and before I forget, ole Elisson is asking for a name for the Elissonmobile…. My vote is for ‘Norman”…. I’ve seen his ride and it seems to suit it…. so head on over and give him your two cents worth….
…. I’m off to take a long, hot shower and then stretch, stretch, stretch….. otherwise my doctor is gonna kick my ass on Thursday…..
That was a wonderful story. The story brought back memories of my teenage years in small town Ontario,Canada.I was struck by the similarity of my experiences particularly the encounter with the local policeman. Rural Tennessee, rural Ontario, same experiences just different names.
Hell raised by DanToom on January 29, 2007 12:18 PM
Well... San Francisco... home of the tube hummers of the prior generation. Only dangerous if you fear being bitten on the unit by a man wearing paisley baggies.
Bob
Hell raised by Bob Baird on January 27, 2007 02:56 PM
In Jersey, we do verbal baseball bat.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on January 27, 2007 03:13 PM
I wonder how verbal judo stands up to a physical kick in the nuts???
And you *like* critters - you do! Especially when you are cooking and eating them. ;-)
Hell raised by Richmond on January 16, 2007 05:28 PM
Heh... They can probably do it with cows. Bovines are dumber than shit... Pigs, on the other hand, are highly intelligent. We know that because they have been observed having fun screwing in the mud...
Hell raised by Winston on January 16, 2007 06:01 PM
Yer gonna have to trade in that shovel for a pitchfork, Bubba.
Hell raised by Elisson on January 16, 2007 11:05 PM
It's getting confusing already, with you linking Lisa, linking me, linking you, linking me...
.... with a few L-type colloquial expressions thrown in…. loosely entitled as: “Me And My American Friend Out On The Town Watching A Gunner’s Mate From Eyemouth Chat Up A Chick Who Probably Murdered Him Later That Night Before He Left For Home Port With His Shipmates”…..
We were laid to the bone in Liverpool by midday, Johnny and me. Lambasted and lethargic, we held up one corner of the polished teak slab that ran north to south.
The bar was open 24/7 and the musicians buzzed like gangbusters non-stop. They were steering clear of the booze and were chewing street-corner lid-proppers instead. Landowners for sure, they were likely to be if they kept that up for much longer.
The bartender re-charged our Laphroaigs. “See that limejuicer with that lady in the corner? He’s really in for it. She left the laughing academy just last Tuesday lunchtime.”
... goodnight, y'all..... and remember.... slang is fun.....
Well now... that would be a matter of opinion wouldn't it?
Shall we ask for a real life comparision? Surely with your vast resoursefullness (dang, is that a word?) you could surely come up with or make or make do to find a suitable loin cloth.....
Quite funny? I'm still grinnin' at it man... Nicely done Erica!
Hell raised by RedNeck on January 14, 2007 04:33 PM
E -
Have you ever seen a picture of Robert Howard? Now, I don't mean that he was a weenie, but he ain't Conan. He continues to be the greatest thing that ever came from Cross Plains ,Texas.... but he was the son of a country doctor and he was an accountant until he joined the boys at Wierd Tales magazine. Go Google him... he looked awfully respectible for a loin clothed warrior of a Cimmerian.
Bob
Hell raised by Bob Baird on January 14, 2007 04:48 PM
Hey, thanks for the link SWG! And fortunately, she doesn't look at all like Conan. All this and farfel too!
… Hoosierboy asks a very good question over at his blog… I read his answers with great enjoyment…. He simply asked, “who are you?”, and began to answer….. so I will give it a try myself....
… hello….
… I am Eric…. I am 34 years old…. I was born on a Saturday morning in October at Bradley Memorial Hospital in Cleveland, Tennessee… I have been told that my maternal grandparents were in attendance in the waiting room and that they lit cigars when the nurse told them I’d arrived at 2am…. the idea of them doing that makes me very happy for some odd reason…
… I was born without any hair on my head… but I began sprouting wispy red locks as I crawled slowly towards toddlerdom…. and by the time I started kindergarten I had a huge shock of Vivaldian hair….. since I was semi-bald during my young years, my parents developed a phobia of sorts…. In retrospect – after having heard their stories – I call it Sampsonophobia….. once my hair started growing, they were afraid to get it cut lest I remain like a cue-ball for the rest of my days…. thus, I entered into my first scholastic endeavor in need of a ponytail-clasp…
… fortunately, time and circumstance cured them from their phobia and I finally got a decent haircut just in time for the 70s fads of gigantically collared shirts and horrible, polyester plaid pants….
… nowadays, well, it has ceased to be so shockingly colorful and is more of a dulled copper with blondes and silvers thrown in for extra curiosity…. the hair that covers the rest of my body though, is quite long and ranges from gold-colored to almost translucent….. I have no hair on my chest or back and I cannot grow a mustache if The Survival Of All Humanity depended upon it…. something about having had some Indian genes thrown into the familial mix back before Jackson had them all rounded up and whisked away to Oklahoma…..
…. I am 6’2” and pale with a smattering of freckles across my body and face… Nordic in appearance, almost….. and I weigh just under 200lbs…. that is, of course, depending on what I consumed for dinner last night and how enjoyable my last movement was…. weight, in the end, is a fickle measurement to go by….
…. My hair is short and parted from the left to the right, but I don’t own a comb… so all of the ‘parting’ is done by using my hands as I leave the shower in the morning…. the cut itself is just outside of military regulations….. I have an unfortunate nose that is at once noticeable as too small for my face…. My head, while not fat, does appear to be just that wee bit rounder than most noggins that I have seen…
…. I have no degrees and have never been enrolled at a place of higher learning…. I graduated from high school on a Friday and arrived at MCRD Parris Island, SC the following Monday after having night-tripped all of Sunday evening to get there…. I was ‘high shooter’ for my series when I graduated…. The Commanding General gave me a certificate from The Marine Corps Association (..who evidently thought it quite smart that I qualified one point off of perfect…)
…. I served in the Corps for nearly five years and loved every second of it…. I’ve been to quite a few exotic locations and managed to find what was worth seeing in all of them… even under the worst circumstances…. many of the men that I met there are still counted among my closest friends… even though we may only talk once or twice a year….
… I have been a network engineer, a systems analyst, a technology consultant, and an IT Manager……
…. I am, and have been, many things to many different people…. son, husband, brother, friend, lover, enemy, confidant, defender, workmate…. and probably many more that aren’t coming to mind right now….. but that is alright… it is as it should be…. as we live our lives, our roles change daily… so it is ok to forget some of them sometimes….
… I have a keen ability to memorize things, but I don’t utilize it nearly enough… I am too easily distracted to actually toss my brain towards something of importance….. I seem to be always busy with a tedious thing while my mind treads water…. but I do see patterns in words and I have a great love of poetry… lowbrow and highbrow….. and I view that as one of my most prized possessions… so I don’t feel that I’m losing much there….
…. I play a few chords on guitar but can’t sing…. I picked up my first guitar from one of my old Uncles who used to sing old BeeGee’s songs from way back before they went Disco… “How Do You Mend A Broken Heart”, etc… it was a Yamaha FG-340 and was a complete sweetie…. but it was stolen while I lived overseas… The Missus replaced it with the Fender acoustic that I own now and adore….
….my first name is David and my little brother’s first name is Joshua….. both of our middle names are Nordic… Eric and Leif, respectively….
… funny, really, my first name means ‘beloved’ and my middle name means ‘king’…. My surname means ‘one who brings gifts’ or ‘one who grants wishes’….
.. so, my whole name?… ‘beloved king who grants wishes’….. sounds pretty groovy, if you ask me…
…. I smoke unfiltered Camel cigarettes and love Scotch…. particularly the Islay malt, Bowmore…. When I lived overseas, it was impossible to get Camels that weren’t made in France (they used un-toasted tobacco and the flavor was totally off), so I smoked Marlboro’s with the filters ripped off for years until I moved back to Tennessee….
… I try to be an honest and good man… and I am happy with where I am in my life most of the time….. I like to watch everything around me…. I smile a lot and I laugh easily… mostly at myself…
… politically, I am a mixed bag….. I believe in a strong military and personal choices remaining Personal…
…. I love college football, Rugby Union, and competitive swimming…… I believe that the Tri-Nations are evil but I still wish that I owned a Springbok’s jersey…….
… I have never picked a fight in my entire life, but I have been in quite a few…. not always winning, I might add…. I’ve been cut, shot at, punched, kicked, gouged, twisted, choked, stomped, and bitten in the course of my life thus far….. and I have no regrets about any of it….
…. I’ve never been a braggart either, as I am at my core a shy, delicate fellow…. and I greatly disdain acts of arrogance and cockiness that are genuinely believed by the perpetrators….
…. Oh, and I look like an idiot if I ever wear a hat…… but I still own about thirty of them….. I just can’t help myself…
