.... well, I just watched a bunch of guys in a desert kiss the corpse of Gene Hackman..... "March or Die" just finished, and it was - as usual, awesome...... and it does happen to have the best final line of any movie I have ever watched....... the quote?....
.... I'm adlibbing, but here it is......
"Some of you will try to quit.... Some of you will try to run..... I warn you, none of them has succeeded.... If The Legion doesn't get you, then the desert will..... When the desert doesn't get you, the Arabs will...... and when the Arabs don't catch you...... I will....... and I don't know which is worse....."
..... if you haven't seen the movie, I highly recommend it.....
.... in other news, I'd like to thank the collective crew of Crazies who attended this weekend's blogmeet...... I swear, I had THE BEST time...... and I am already counting down the days until next year's Gathering.......
I enjoy these things more every year. Maybe that's because, after all these years, we're not so much a random assemblage of bloggers, but a true group of friends. A Band of Brothers (and Sisters), if you will.
And it's always a pleasure to spend time with you and the lovely Fiona.
The hospitality, the good food and drink, the warmth of friendship and fire... them's all gravy. Thanks again for having us!
Hell raised by Elisson on November 2, 2011 10:16 AM
I concur with everything Elisson said. Nothing beats spending a weekend with such terrific peeps, and it's a real honor to be invited year after year. Thanks so much.
"[A]fter all these years, we're not so much a random assemblage of bloggers, but a true group of friends. A Band of Brothers (and Sisters), if you will."
Exactly.
Thanks.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on November 4, 2011 03:41 AM
.... and so, it begins....... the 6th annual Hysterics at Eric's is officially underway....
..... if the parties who are partying consent, perhaps I will use my stickam account to live stream some of the festivities.... hey, that'd be something new, eh?..... besides, how many blogmeets have a live webcam for webby voyeurs to spy on from afar?.....
.... if the Elderly Brothers start a concert, we might just go live........
... and speaking of the Elderly Brothers, go here for a seriously good laugh (for all of you Shakespearianly challenged brothers and sisters.)
I don't know who thought of that, but they are cranially blessed, and otherwise well endowed!
Brilliant!
A live web concert, from H@E would be historical! Do it!
Or even Skype?
Hell raised by marcus on October 28, 2011 08:44 AM
... yes, sir, Marcus.... you had a great idea!.... now, just as long as I get permission from the folks that show up, we might broadcast a little......
..... you know, it amazes me that in two days I will have nearly 20 bloggers roaming around The Compound, sipping drinks, and eating ribs..... good grief, I can't wait!.....
..... The World is one Strange Place, rubberneckers.....
Hell raised by Teresa on October 26, 2011 10:04 PM
I'm getting ready to strap on that Rib Bib. Yowza!
Hell raised by Elisson on October 27, 2011 10:00 AM
Now I know where and why most of the blogosphere routinely checks out about this time of year... It's all your fault.
Hell raised by diamond dave on October 27, 2011 10:59 AM
*SIGH*
I'm sitting here at work thinking about how I ought to be crossing into Mississippi right now heading for an overnight in Birmingham before pushing on to TN early tomorrow...
Hope y'all have a great time! I'll get up there next year!!
Hell raised by El Capitan on October 27, 2011 02:48 PM
Maybe not most of the blogosphere, Dave... just the interesting part.
Hell raised by Elisson on October 27, 2011 03:19 PM
It should be mandatory that all attending bloggers post multiple photos after the event.
.... after a weekend spent with Steve and his Wife in Middle Tennessee, I offer this humble video...... and say to Steve, eh?......what trouble?.......
... rock on, big man....... we have the medals, the tee-shirts, and the bumps and bruises..... and those are commemoration enough.......
Figured all that pool shooting and G&T'ing would have DNQ'd you.
I, for one, am very proud. Nice job.
Hell raised by Andy on September 20, 2011 02:01 PM
Not only did Eric finish, despite having suffered a sprained ankle the previous week - he managed to get through all of the obstacles, some of which must have been fearsomely difficult with a gimpy foot. I'll tell, ya, I was impressed.
Hell raised by Elisson on September 21, 2011 10:26 AM
You two looked very manly and barbaric in your horned headgear! Congrats on finishing in great style!
Hell raised by Mary on September 24, 2011 09:14 PM
You get through all of the obstacles with a gimpy foot OK
Congrats on that, I'll flake out after 3 yards, promise
But I see no move of comming bowling with me
I asked you to come play with me here
http://keeskennis.blogspot.com/2011/08/i-win-or-not-meme.html
I do believe you are not sexy enough
Hell raised by keeskennis on September 26, 2011 06:23 PM
Hey, where you at?
Did that little romp kick your ass? Fingers broke?
Hell raised by marcus on September 29, 2011 09:59 PM
.... eight years ago today, I started this blog..... and man, what a ride it has been.... come to think of it, I attended my first blogmeet just a little over a month after beginning.... and since then I've never looked back.... now?.... hell, I HOST an annual blogmeet at MY HOUSE!.....
Yeah......but, it's one of the better kinds of Crazy.
Hell raised by kdzu on September 11, 2011 05:05 PM
.... you guys are awesome...... heh, I never EVER would have thought that anyone would think of visiting my Home as a life goal........ you guys humble me, truly.......... and you are both welcome....
Hell raised by Eric on September 11, 2011 08:48 PM
Good grief! I'm late... again! But only one day. A happy day it was indeed when you sat down at the keyboard and started typing. May you have many more years of most excellent wordage. :-)
Hell raised by Teresa on September 11, 2011 09:57 PM
..... well, I'm not dead..... the tornados didn't blow me away - although they did give it the ole College boy effort..... the Sun hasn't fried me...... and the rain hasn't washed me away....... sure, I'm a bit soggy, but otherwise unscathed...... as for the blog, well, honestly I just haven't felt like saying anything to anyone for quite a while..... after all, I've been at this little endeavor for going on eight years now...... and the way that I figure it, I've pretty much earned the right to sull up and play possum once in a while.....
.... anyway, I'm still around...... I'm just quiet...... trust me, it is not you.... it is me......
.... in completely unrelated news, I have enjoyed having my Father in Law in town for the past few weeks.... so far we have managed to sample the wares of nearly ALL of the nearby 27 restaurants with the least inedible food with nary a stomach cramp - to date - reported.... which is actually a much better show than when I dine on my own, so perhaps he is Good Luck....
... oh, and before I forget, get thee forth and read BST's latest..... I swear, the boy just ain't right...... but I do happen to agree with most of his list.....
... as for me, I'm off to shoot some pool and let a few waves of Dean Martin wash over my bare, tender soul......
... and with, I am off..... I do hope you are all faring well.....
Well, good to know you are unscathed by the recent weather rampage! It's like Mother Nature is out to get a decent portion of the country for some reason or other.
Now - 27? That's a lot of restaurants! Wow. Bet it was tasty though.
I can never comment of BST's, but next time we go to your home, I'm bringing an etch a sketch because I want to see these mad skillz. Also... I need to work with my boys and see if we can create a jello gun. It's got to be like a pop gun. Hmm...
..... "I ain't never seen'em..... but my common sense tells me the Andes is foothills!..... and the Alps is for children to climb!....... take good care of your hair!...... these here is God's finest sculpturings... there ain't no laws for the brave ones..... and there ain't no asylums for the crazy ones.... and there ain't no churches - except fer this right here.... ".....
..... there is nothing like humping a ruck up into the mountains, camping, watching the snow fall, eating heartily..... and being absolutely comfortable the entire time.......
.... if you can't leave home - regardless of the weather - and be comfortable in the wilds, well, then you need to brush up on your skills....... because, really, you never know when you are going to need them.........
..... snow is a part of nature, folks........ and freezing weather is just a part of life........ I LOVE it......
.... I found this from a few years ago, and thought I'd put it up again just for giggles....... have a happy and safe New Year, rubberneckers!....
... orignally posted January 9th, 2007....
… Hoosierboy asks a very good question over at his blog… I read his answers with great enjoyment…. He simply asked, “who are you?”, and began to answer….. so I will give it a try myself....
… hello….
… I am Eric…. I am 34 years old…. I was born on a Saturday morning in October at Bradley Memorial Hospital in Cleveland, Tennessee… I have been told that my maternal grandparents were in attendance in the waiting room and that they lit cigars when the nurse told them I’d arrived at 2am…. the idea of them doing that makes me very happy for some odd reason…
… I was born without any hair on my head… but I began sprouting wispy red locks as I crawled slowly towards toddlerdom…. and by the time I started kindergarten I had a huge shock of Vivaldian hair….. since I was semi-bald during my young years, my parents developed a phobia of sorts…. In retrospect – after having heard their stories – I call it Sampsonophobia….. once my hair started growing, they were afraid to get it cut lest I remain like a cue-ball for the rest of my days…. thus, I entered into my first scholastic endeavor in need of a ponytail-clasp…
… fortunately, time and circumstance cured them from their phobia and I finally got a decent haircut just in time for the 70s fads of gigantically collared shirts and horrible, polyester plaid pants….
… nowadays, well, it has ceased to be so shockingly colorful and is more of a dulled copper with blondes and silvers thrown in for extra curiosity…. the hair that covers the rest of my body though, is quite long and ranges from gold-colored to almost translucent….. I have no hair on my chest or back and I cannot grow a mustache if The Survival Of All Humanity depended upon it…. something about having had some Indian genes thrown into the familial mix back before Jackson had them all rounded up and whisked away to Oklahoma…..
…. I am 6’2” and pale with a smattering of freckles across my body and face… Nordic in appearance, almost….. and I weigh just under 200lbs…. that is, of course, depending on what I consumed for dinner last night and how enjoyable my last movement was…. weight, in the end, is a fickle measurement to go by….
…. My hair is short and parted from the left to the right, but I don’t own a comb… so all of the ‘parting’ is done by using my hands as I leave the shower in the morning…. the cut itself is just outside of military regulations….. I have an unfortunate nose that is at once noticeable as too small for my face…. My head, while not fat, does appear to be just that wee bit rounder than most noggins that I have seen…
…. I have no degrees and have never been enrolled at a place of higher learning…. I graduated from high school on a Friday and arrived at MCRD Parris Island, SC the following Monday after having night-tripped all of Sunday evening to get there…. I was ‘high shooter’ for my series when I graduated…. The Commanding General gave me a certificate from The Marine Corps Association (..who evidently thought it quite smart that I qualified one point off of perfect…)
…. I served in the Corps for nearly five years and loved every second of it…. I’ve been to quite a few exotic locations and managed to find what was worth seeing in all of them… even under the worst circumstances…. many of the men that I met there are still counted among my closest friends… even though we may only talk once or twice a year….
… I have been a network engineer, a systems analyst, a technology consultant, and an IT Manager……
…. I am, and have been, many things to many different people…. son, husband, brother, friend, lover, enemy, confidant, defender, workmate…. and probably many more that aren’t coming to mind right now….. but that is alright… it is as it should be…. as we live our lives, our roles change daily… so it is ok to forget some of them sometimes….
… I have a keen ability to memorize things, but I don’t utilize it nearly enough… I am too easily distracted to actually toss my brain towards something of importance….. I seem to be always busy with a tedious thing while my mind treads water…. but I do see patterns in words and I have a great love of poetry… lowbrow and highbrow….. and I view that as one of my most prized possessions… so I don’t feel that I’m losing much there….
…. I play a few chords on guitar but can’t sing…. I picked up my first guitar from one of my old Uncles who used to sing old BeeGee’s songs from way back before they went Disco… “How Do You Mend A Broken Heart”, etc… it was a Yamaha FG-340 and was a complete sweetie…. but it was stolen while I lived overseas… The Missus replaced it with the Fender acoustic that I own now and adore….
….my first name is David and my little brother’s first name is Joshua….. both of our middle names are Nordic… Eric and Leif, respectively….
… funny, really, my first name means ‘beloved’ and my middle name means ‘king’…. My surname means ‘one who brings gifts’ or ‘one who grants wishes’….
.. so, my whole name?… ‘beloved king who grants wishes’….. sounds pretty groovy, if you ask me…
…. I smoke unfiltered Camel cigarettes and love Scotch…. particularly the Islay malt, Bowmore…. When I lived overseas, it was impossible to get Camels that weren’t made in France (they used un-toasted tobacco and the flavor was totally off), so I smoked Marlboro’s with the filters ripped off for years until I moved back to Tennessee….
… I try to be an honest and good man… and I am happy with where I am in my life most of the time….. I like to watch everything around me…. I smile a lot and I laugh easily… mostly at myself…
… politically, I am a mixed bag….. I believe in a strong military and personal choices remaining Personal…
…. I love college football, Rugby Union, and competitive swimming…… I believe that the Tri-Nations are evil but I still wish that I owned a Springbok’s jersey…….
… I have never picked a fight in my entire life, but I have been in quite a few…. not always winning, I might add…. I’ve been cut, shot at, punched, kicked, gouged, twisted, choked, stomped, and bitten in the course of my life thus far….. and I have no regrets about any of it….
…. I’ve never been a braggart either, as I am at my core a shy, delicate fellow…. and I greatly disdain acts of arrogance and cockiness that are genuinely believed by the perpetrators….
…. Oh, and I look like an idiot if I ever wear a hat…… but I still own about thirty of them….. I just can’t help myself…
Hell raised by Catfish on January 3, 2011 03:43 PM
I missed this too over the holidays, but I'm glad I got back to it. Great writing.
I come from a hairless family too. So I married a man with lots of hair on his body and I'm fascinated. Unfortunately my son has not a hair on his chest, but amazingly hairy legs - kind of makes me snicker.
... and by the way, rubberneckers, if any of you want to get into the true spirit of Halloween (just passed), I recommed giving this a read...... best Halloween post I've read in years........ and hey, feel free to add a tale of your own once you've finished reading......
What is up with you scarin' the bejezzus out of me lately? Although it doesn't say much for my own mental acuity to actually click on the links. Still... I'm naming my night light after you...
Hell raised by Lemon Stand on November 8, 2010 09:38 PM
.... thank you, ma'am..... it can be scary in the most unlikely of places!...
I have had more than my fair share of experiences with things that go bump in the night as it were. The last house we owned had a ghost. We spent a great deal of time and work getting the place back to what it once was. My wife saw her more than I did. A little old lady that seemed to be very happy with the things we were doing. I will save some of the other stories for another time. Who knows, maybe even over a game of pool someday.
.... well, boys & girls, I am happy to report that another successful Hysterics at Eric's has gone down without a hitch...... as a matter of fact, I may cease doing ANY cooking since I now know the True Caliber of Pure Cooking Power that many of my guests possess.... honestly, I think this Saturday's meal was the best that has ever been served when I've hosted a blogmeet - and my happy little hands were banned from the kitchen AND the smoker all weekend!.... Mr. Elisson and Bou owned the kitchen this weekend......
.... the Intrepid Travelers began trickling in early Friday afternoon, and they were immediately greeted by 40 degree temperatures and a rain/hail/sleet storm.... needless to say, we didn't bother with a campfire on Friday night..... Saturday broke cloudy, though, and after the usual breakfasting at The Tellico Junction Cafe, a roaring campfire was raging out back until, well, quite recently actually......
... as always, it was a pleasure to have so many interesting, colorful, friendly, humorous human beings wandering around my property for a weekend..... I enjoyed every minute that you guys were here..... and I cannot WAIT until next year!.....
.... here's a quick list of those that braved the cold weather and partay'd this weekend.....
Thank you and thank the lovely Fiona for a wonderful weekend. Your skills as host were as great and nuanced as Elisson and Bou's were in the kitchen.
Jack and I had a wonderful time and a great drive back across the dragon to Carolina.
Thank you again for the hospitality and the very special and personal present. I look forward to the next time we meet, may it not be 5 years this time.
Hell raised by K-Nine on November 8, 2010 08:44 AM
I cannot say how much I missed going. I mean, I had the chance to meet both Erica and Jimbo, and then I remember last time SWMBO made this unbelievable breakfast thing of noodles and cream and apricots.
Did you test Erica's powers of perception or had she already done that? I can still smell it. Odd.
And everytime I think of Fiona, aside from her hypnotic accent, I think of the part in "Eurotrip" where Scotty's girlfriend breaks up with him and he howls "FIONA!"
Kind of a Stella quality, only your Fiona is way prettier than Stella.
Hell raised by LeeAnn on November 8, 2010 09:08 AM
SWG,
Had a blast this year. You are right, the Elissons and Bou have raised the bar on cookout food this year. My, my that was good! Loved, loved the gumbo too.
Great entertainment by the Elderly Bros and others.
I can't believe you and the Mrs put up with us every year. And we are eternally grateful that you do.
Hope to see you before another fall. Thanks for your hospitality!
It was a blast. Thank you (and the extremely understanding Fiona) for the hospitality. As others have said, Elisson, Bou and their helpers kicked ass and took names in the kitchen. I even ate me some farookin' gumbo. I had never had it before (We don't do no freakin' gumbo in Jersey). It was great -- two helpings! Ken, my bodyguard also raved about the food.
Also, thanks to all the peeps who listened yet again to me and Denny make what might be loosely music and didn't throw any produce at us.
Thursday through Sunday...lots of driving and hard partying. I may be getting too old for this shit. ...........naaaaaaaah.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on November 8, 2010 12:11 PM
A great time was had by all! The real good cooks were Elisson and SWWBO. I was just along for the ride. That roasted asparagus was to die for!
Thanks for all the links! It will make it easier for me when I put together my link fest.
My best to you and your lovely wife for once again opening your lovely home to all the crazy people! Your hospitality is unsurpassed.
Eric - once again you and Fiona have thrown the party of the year. Thank you! Also Elisson, his lovely wife, and Bou for the fantastic food, and the Elderly Brothers for the music, and everyone else for showing up and being their terrific selves. Truly every year you outdo the one before. I so wish a few peeps who were not able to join us had been there, but so it is every year.
Hell raised by Teresa on November 9, 2010 01:09 AM
At this point, Eric's annual get-together seems less like a blogmeet and more like a gathering of Long-Time Friends. And that's just fine.
Thanks for opening your home to us and making us all feel welcome. Friends, food, drink, music, poetry, and Pocket Billiards - ya can't beat it!
Hell raised by Elisson on November 9, 2010 11:57 AM
Every year it sounds more and more awesome!
Hell raised by Fiona on November 11, 2010 09:52 PM
... the smoker has arrived, gentle people....... the hickory arrives tomorrow morning........ and the chicken, sausages, brisket, ribs, and butts will be entombed within it come Saturday morning...... it's November, of course..... but all I keep thinking is, "damnation, I do so love October.." .....
..... on this day - waaaay back in 2003 - this little blog was hatched over on blogspot..... two months later she moved over to her own domain..... and only a mere month from her birth, I found myself atop Blood Mountain, Georgia at my very first blogmeet ..... good god, rubberneckers..... SEVEN years.... 7 years... s.e.v.e.n y.e.a.r.s..... it still seems unreal no matter how you type it......
.... and now with many, many blogmeets under my belt, I'll be hosting the fourthfifth annual Hysterics at Eric's in November..... I swear, I must be insane...... (thank you, Bou, for the correction...)
.... thank you all for swinging by every so often to steal a peek at my little slice of Tennessee.... meeting many of you has changed my life in ways that I never imagined back in September of 2003....
.... mercy, boys and girls..... 7 years...... to quote Augustus on his deathbed, "By God, Woodrow, it's been quite a party, ain't it?"....
.... and yes, it certainly has been quite a party.... this blogging thing is pretty damn cool sometimes........
Hell raised by Dax Montana on September 10, 2010 09:45 AM
May it continue as such happily ever onward. And wow, what a coincidence -- I just booked all my reservations this morning. As I told Teresa, I wish we were going out there tomorrow. I may very well gnaw my fingernails down to their raw nubs waiting for November to get here. To paraphrase an EPIC Blade quote: "...good god, I do so love October..."
Hell raised by Erica on September 10, 2010 09:54 AM
Happy bloggity-versary, Eric!!
Hell raised by LeeAnn on September 10, 2010 12:39 PM
Happy seventh bloggy-versary, you Tennessee renaissance man, you!
I'll second that thought - that meeting people through the medium of blogging has changed my life in unexpected ways. It's one of the unexpected pleasures of a time-sink - errr, hobby - that connects people who likely never would have met otherwise. It's led to some remarkable friendships... plenty of good times... and stories. Always, there are stories.
Hell raised by Elisson on September 10, 2010 01:04 PM
I don't think it's fourth annual. I think we're on the big number FIVE. Dang... gotta look into flights.
Congratulations. Do you remember the first time we met in person? That almost dive bar in Athens...mid December 2004.
The Juju Woman: "you mean to tell me you're going to meet some people in some dive ass bar, that you met over the internet?"
Me: "yeap"
The Juju Woman: "okay, be careful...and take a gun, and call me."
Me: "roger that"
I was the last one to arrive, and when I walked in waiting for a felony to happen...you, Key, Kelley, Velociman, Acidman, Catfish, and Single Southern Guy we're enjoying some cold beverages. I'm talking about some "Social Networking."
Like you, I've met more good people than assholes...which began with that meeting. That was the beginning of my "in person" blogging experience. I liked it so much, I keep coming back for more. I've almost been thrown in jail, almost had the shit beat out of me with a shovel, taken two trips to Central America, and many many more experiences I will not post here. You know what I mean.
All is good. Mercy is an understatement, and I've made some really good "like minded" friends through this "Blodging" thing.
Hell raised by Yabu on September 11, 2010 07:30 AM
Conga Ratualtions! One of these day's I'm gonna attend one of those blogmeets.
Hell raised by Cappy on September 11, 2010 08:29 AM
Congratulations on Seven Years!
Someday, I hope to be in the crowd.
Hell raised by Jean on September 11, 2010 09:30 AM
I'm a day late... but still wishing you a very Happy Blogoversary! One of the best things about blogging is people like you. As Elisson says in the normal course of events we would never have met. Isn't online life a wonderful thing!
Hell raised by Teresa on September 11, 2010 01:48 PM
Congrats on your anniversary. If you get a sudden urge to scratch your crotch or you find yourself lusting after a LiveJournal template, not to worry. It's only the "seven year itch."
..... after watching Dax's latest video post, this song latched itself violently onto my brain and I've been humming it ever since....... and so, I dedicate this to ole Dax..... congrats on the promotion, sir....... but that cut is not NEARLY short enough, you hippie.....
.... a toe-tapper, non?...... and if you watched his video as well, you will recognize that Mr. Montana has excellent taste in beer.....
.. in other news, I was given the chance to peer into the depths of my own septic tank this afternoon...... and I have still not fully recovered from the experience..... suffice it to say that a Human Being should never, ever be introduced to ten years worth of his own emissions all at once like I was today when the happy Septic Tank Sucker-man arrived to work his magic......
.... It was odd, seeing all that shit clogged in one poor, tiny concrete box..... and yet I couldn't help but imagine that I was feeling the exact same sensation that Koontz must feel every time he walks by the horror section of his local Waterstone's......
What skeeves me out is all the stuff the septic man touches after he touches that suck the shit out hose. I watched one guy put on gloves, bring the big hose over, suck all the shit out while wearing the gloves, go back to his truck, work the controls, do something else, come back, haul the hose back up to the truck, hose it off, all while wearing the gloves, roll it back up, take the gloves off, and touch an assortment of things he touched while wearing the gloves. I thought I might barf.
... I was given the pleasure yesterday of hosting Bou & her Boys for lunch, a few hours of rafting down the Hiwassee, a dinner of ribs, beans, and garlic biscuits.... and an evening of Zombie carnage (courtesy of her boy's PS3) until nearly dark.... and a good time was had by all..... well, except for the Zombie carnage...... somehow her little men think it quite funny that I harbor an unnatural fear of The Walking Dead.... as a matter of fact, this is the second year in a row that they've insisted on playing the game right in the middle of the living room..... and, of course, squirming all over my couch making high pitched squeaking noises with the destruction of each Zombie noggin......
.... I watched them for a while, but then retired to the safety of the kitchen where "The Adults" could converse..... but it was too late, unfortunately, as the damage had already been done.........I woke up at 4am and lumbered through to the kitchen for a glass of water and suddenly heard a floorboard creak in the living room.... I immediately was wide awake and cursing that damnable PS3..... but after a thorough going over of all the locks, I felt it safe enough to wander back to bed believing the house to be safe, secure, and Zombie free.....
... we rendezvoused again this morning for breakfast at the Tellico Junction Cafe (those of you who have breakfasted with me after the October blogmeet will know that locale pretty well.), and then they went on their well-fed way towards the rest of their vacation obligations....
.... it is always such a pleasure to entertain Bou and her three little men.... and if you are ever given a chance to do so, please take it.... trust me, you have my word..... you'll have a lot of fun, and I know from six years of experience that you will certainly NOT get bored.... each of her boys are a slice off the ole Bou-block.... so just imagine spending a day and a morning with three slices of Bou and a WHOLE Bou, and well, how on Earth could you NOT have fun?....
.... I will say, though, having read her post on the whole "rafting" adventure that we were completely doomed from before we ever even dipped a toe in the river..... sure, it was very, VERY fun, but it was also very tiring and very, very hot..... that said, I will point out to those who might be thinking of rafting in the near future that when they say a raft needs a "minimum of four", what they mean is that you need a minimum of four paddlers..... two adults just ain't gonna cut it, folks... no matter how hard you paddle your little tail feathers off, all you really can do is make sure that your raft is drifting with its nose in the right direction.......
.... but, be that as it may, we still had a good time..... Life is, after all, all about the new experiences...... and who doesn't enjoy leaping from a stuck raft into chest-deep water, bashing their knees, and heaving a raft around while trying not to drown?!..... not me, rubberneckers!..... I'm all about that kind of gig..... heh..... but Bou, though?..... well, she's hardly bigger than a minute, so while she did jump out and tug, push, and heave for a while, her heart was certainly in the right place..... and we all pulled our share of the weight.....
.... oh, and I nearly forgot the two "floaters" that we had drifting along behind us...... good god, were I Superman and she Supergirl, we STILL could not have moved that raft faster than the river's current with SpongeBob and Squidward (Mr T and Ringo) lashed to our forecastle like they were......
..... but, yeah..... there you go..... sometimes it's better to be floating down a river on an inner tube eating beef jerky than to be paddling like Hell and getting no where fast, but still, we survived...... and actually, it WAS a lot of fun... in a soggy, sunburnny, aching shoulder, lots of laughing kind of way.....
..... so next year?..... I wholeheartedly agree with Bou..... we'll give the rapids a miss and spend a day in the shade skipping stones on the Tellico river......
... you need much less chiropractic time after skipping stones......
Your rafting trip sounds like a great adventure. We once got our raft hung over a rock in what is known as "the Box" on the upper Rio Grande in class 5 rapids. I was too stupid to know how scared I should have been.
I love rafting, but there is a huge difference between no current shallow water rafting, and the real deal. Same goes for kayaking. Of course, you know that.
... the Hiwassee was only class 1, Yabu.... it's meant for families to float down slowly without a guide.... I've been on real whitewater on the Ocoee quite a few times... we'll not be able to do the Ocoee until her boys get much, much older....
Eric, I know that... I was just saying that bumping the bottom ain't fun. I've pulled as well, busted my ass many times, and it ain't fun. I decided long ago, if there ain't enough water to float the boat...I'm not going. Having said that...commanding three young boys / men is good Juju. Good for you. I've done the Snake River (started in Wyoming) as well, nice ride. We should do that one together. I swear to the Maker, we'd be telling stories about that ride for a long time...but I ain't going without protection in the form of gunpowder. I'm all about a nice smooth, maybe a little bumpy, ride. Not into wondering if I'm still gonna be alive when I see drop off rapids ahead. I'm a pussy, but a smart pussy. Been there before...I learned from my mistakes.
I'm with you on the zombie thing, darned kids nowadays, too young to remember the Analog type....these new fangled digital zombies just bring memories of the real thing.....heh.
I will confess, it was rather disheartening when you said you saw a leaf floating by going as fast as we were, and the Good Lord only knows I was paddling as hard as I could! I was most definitely not the Propulsion section of our team...
And I'm still getting imitations of you from the boys, "Look at me! I'm paddling a canoe!" with their snickering "You paddle like a girlllll!" Sheesh! Y'all are a tough crowd...
..... Ooom Keesie evidently needs a link and thinks that we have been somehow shortdicking him for a while..... and for that, I am sorry....... but, rest assured that it was not ME who was shortdicking him, as that is not my forte at all......... which means that it must have been Velociman doing the deed, yes?.......
..... that's the best that I can figure after reading Keesie's drivel anyway.......... right?....
Ta youngster
Drivel is fighting talk:
SWG is 36 years old.
I am 57 years young.
So to make things even if we have a fighting competition, he would have to have one leg tied to one arm and I would whip his ass. Period.
Besides the shitness of making things even and the socialism and communism that that statement brought forward I would like to suggest a CONTEST.
POETRY
SWG and KEESIE or anybody that would like to take part:
would post a:
WHAT ABOUT and post his favourite poet's lines.
AND then he would write 3 or more lines of rhyme or poetry or haiku.
And the responding person takes him on.
What is not to like?
Oh By The Way I have started this.
http://keeskennis.blogspot.com/2010/05/poetry-contest.html
Hell raised by keeskennis on May 31, 2010 02:16 PM
I see it is to be no-rules poetry:
Iamb to be damned.
Meter to be muddled.
Stanzas to be strafed.
Lock and load, then. Keesie's gone off half-cocked.
.... so The Missus and I are sitting around this evening watching a program about the terraforming of Mars, and they bring up the fact that it is uninhabitable mainly because of the lack of greenhouse gasses AND that it is just plain WAY TOO COLD......
..... now, she has already read all of the "Mars" series of science fiction books from Kim Stanley Robinson, and she ate every one of the trilogy up with lip-smacking enjoyment.... me?.... I'm just not that into science fiction.......
.... so, fast forward to this evening....... she is sucking on every word from the presenter about terraforming Mars, when they mention that it is way too cold there for human habitation.......
..... I pipe up, "good god!.... if it is too cold, then build a damn FIRE!.... it'll create plenty of carbon dioxide..... and that will help create a warmer atmosphere, supply green house gasses, and make everyone up there feel a bit less chilly!... and with all the ash left over, you could use that as a base for soil and plant some damn TREES!"....
.... ten seconds later, the presenter of the show said that they needed to basically "build a fire on Mars" to create greenhouse gasses so that they could eventually plant Earthborne high altitude conifers to assist with the creation of a breathable atmosphere.........
..... I belly-laughed and said, "see!.... see?!..... Goddamn, woman, I should work for NASA!.... 'It's cold on Mars, people, what should we do??'..... 'Build a FIRE!'....... damn, but I am an undiscovered genius".......
.... anyway, (and to get to the point of this nearly pointless post) she dug into me again during a commercial.....
... "You know what?", she said...... "next October we should get NASA to fly all of the Jawja Bloggers up to Mars instead of having them come here for the weekend....... hey, you could even take your own firewood!...... and I bet that the combination of 25 Jawja Bloggers, the others that come, AND the fact that y'all would have a campfire to watch while you drink your chocolate vodka, well, I am quite sure that Mars would have an atmosphere in less than a week........... for, after all, no one can emit hot air like a bunch of half-drunken bloggers standing by a campfire........ good lord, we've seen it for the past FIVE years!...... no wonder our trees are doing so well in the back yard!!.... it is from their annual mega-dose infusion of blogger-based carbon dioxide emissions!".......
..... and in retrospect, I think she may be right....... after all, her logic is fairly secure...... the dogwoods ARE blooming especially pretty this year after those bloggers spent those two nights camping underneath them.....
...... but, wow.... that means that the next Hysterics at Eric's must be a precursor to us having a blogmeet on Mars....... any takers?....... The Missus assures me that it will be for the greater benefit of All Humanity For Generations to Come.......... so, there is that...... or do I have to go this one on my own?........ hey, I'll bring Scotch and bottle rockets!..... and I am sure that Jimbo will bring the vodka.....
Hmmm LeeAnn has a point. Of course red is a good color for me so I wouldn't mind a trip to Mars - but I don't like the cold much so maybe I'll show up about 12 hours into the meet... you all will have a nice bubble of hot air just expanding away. I think that timetable works for me.
I've got a snazzy down sleeping bag and plenty of Scotch. Is fart-gas a greenhouse gas? Got plenty of that, too. Very helpful on Mars, but it's a long trip from here to there, and in close quarters...
Elisson beat me to it but that many bloggers in a cramped space as required for transport would be a combustible mix long before reaching Mars. Of course the resultant fire would jump start the whole warming and atmosphere thing. "One small flatulence for man, one giant fart for mankind..." (Forgive me Neal Armstrong)
Well, I was going to ask if we could go to Venus instead, but I looked up the surface temp and it's like on avg 450 deg F. So, I guess Venus is out and we're stuck with Mars.
You just slapped the Blade. He, also, moves about in German made transport. Seriously...if it wasn't for German rocket scientists, there would be no American space anything.
E,
You are destined for greatness, you're just taking it easy so you don't freak us all out. Can i take my smoker? A hickory smoked brisket emits a TON of greenhouse gas.
Hell raised by The Piper on April 8, 2010 11:36 AM
You should try reading some KSR -- your bride is spot on! I'm just re-reading the Mars series -- it's not really science fiction, per se. The dude knows his science and the schieze he writes about is very well thought-out speculation (which is why some writers are referring to this sub-genre as speculative, rather than science, fiction. KSR is a very smart guy!! But, I agree, a bunch of you Jawja gangsters could probably create an atmosphere in nothing flat!!! Great idea!
Hell raised by Marianne on April 12, 2010 01:27 AM
.... what say you?..... I mean, I love the guy, and I love to watch the man eat nachos, but that post?........ methinks he is borderline...... and not in the Madonna kind of way......
.... for T1G.... who just happens to be in a Coleridge kinda mood lately...... behold...
..... the story goes that he was busily penning the above poem whilst completely bombed on opium when a certain "person from Porlock" came along and snapped him out of his concentration/vision/dream/hallucination and the rest of the poem was lost..... thus the secondary title of "A Vision in a Dream: A Fragment"......
... still, though..... pretty rich imagery for a stoner..... and hey, lately?... it seems that a person from Porlock is camping out by the woodpile behind my house..... and they've worn a grove in the path from the patio to my back door to ask about basketball scores...... after all, if IS March......
In Englewood a Straight White Guy
Took up a Shovel in his arm.
A Tool of iron cold and hard,
He carried it to his back yard,
And threatened deadly harm!
.... man, I just LOVED this post by Big Stupid Tommy.........
... and it so reminded me of the time that I caught Mr. McDowell staring at The Missus' breasts last year at the DragonCon in Atlanta...... (which reminds me, after searching the archives, I just realized that I never wrote about the incident.... hmmmm... I need to rectify that, I guess....)
...... honestly, you can't make this stuff up..... well, not me, I mean..... but Tommy certainly can......
Please tell ol' Tommy I thought that was a great piece of writing. I tried to tell him myself, but I can't figure out how to leave a comment over there without getting all google-tangled.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on March 3, 2010 03:50 AM
.... a year ago - in just a few weeks - I posted this little song-drive.... and now that whole area is covered in hardened snow......
.... and tomorrow?..... tomorrow Elisson and I are set to camping above the snowline on Starr Mountain..... and yes, even though taunted so blatantly like this, I have fixed my Petzl....... and no, I had no idea that petzl meant what he said it meant...... I was merely reading the name brand off of my climbing head lamp........
.... good grief..... y'all should be ashamed of yourselves!........
.... most bloggers that I know (and have met) absolutely hate clowns....... Jimbo, Elisson, Blackfive, they all hate them........ and tonight I read Big Stupid Tommy with great glee........
.... there is nothing like unintentional trauma, folks..... and when it comes to clowns?..... well, this is one of the classics.......
.... follow the link and click on the YouTube........ trust me, it is worth it.....
..... and for the record?..... I hate clowns too.........
I hate clowns too, but that commercial is one of the funniest spots on TV
Hell raised by hoosierboy on January 28, 2010 11:10 AM
While I'm no fan of clowns, I will not paint with a broad brush. I'd have to give Emmett Kelly and Red Skelton's "Freddie the Freeloader" a pass.
What I do hate is that paper-mache'looking
"The King" character they use in the Burger King commericals. It's one of the most hideous things I've ever seen and Wendy's gets all my business as long as they use that abomination....
...I'd like to thank Elisson and his lovely bride for inviting us down this past weekend... folks, the man and his friends know how to cook, drink, entertain, and make a Tennessean feel welcome.... goose, roasted beef, beautiful desserts, fattened duck liver, barrels of wine..... good grief..... and stories, and laughter to boot..... Captain Aubrey would have been most proud.... hell, we even had a few broken glasses to add to the effect!.... it was also wonderful to see Denny the GOC again as well....... man, those fellows certainly know their wines......
.... it was a wonderful and welcome weekend of good company and festive excess..... which, I do believe, was exactly what they were aiming for...... Elisson, sir, you hit another home run......
.... in other news, I was just channe lsurfing looking for one of those creepy ghost shows that seem to be on everywhere these days and I ran across 24 midgets strapped to a DC-10 trying to out-pull an Indian elephant that was strapped to its own DC-10 airplane.... I was shocked, appalled, and weirdly fascinated by the whole scene, so I just had to watch it...... and yes, the elephant won....... but NOT before the well-coifed announcer screamed, "WOW!!!... just watch those LITTLE PEOPLE PULL!!"...... I nearly snorted a mouthful of tea out my nose.....
.... so yeah, anyway.... that "Man Vs Beast" show is just wrong...... I wonder where they found so many midgets who were that excited about pulling a 203,000lb airplane...... nevermind..... if you know the answer, don't tell me.... I just don't want to know....
Some years ago I stopped by to see a logger I had worked with about a tract he was going to work for us in the near future. At that time, he was working on Federal property which meant he had a USFS nanny who stayed with the crew to make sure they stayed within contract. I met the logger and as we were talking he asked " Have you met our FS nanny yet? He's a midget." Unbeknownst to us, he was walking up as we conversed and announced rather loudly, "I'm NOT a midget, I'm a dwarf!" As we shook hands and I looked him over I realized he was in fact, a dwarf. There is a difference and as I discovered, to mistake one for the other, really pisses them off.
Hell raised by Tbird on December 21, 2009 08:00 PM
... well, boys & girls..... we're off to spend the weekend in Atlanta and enjoy some time with Mr. Elisson & Company...... y'all have a great weekend!.....
..... you know, we really need to get this guy to a blogmeet where the Artillery Punch is flowing....... personally?.... I think he'd lose his ever-lovin' mind.....
..... besides, everyone knows that us bloggers - when WE get together?.... well, we really ARE the most interesting people in the world......
Is this guy really the "most interesting man in the world?" I'm thinking probably not. It's funny that you posted this though, because I have this ad in my sights... I was going to do a post for my Consumer Reports dept on my blog disputing that very fact, that he is indeed NOT the MIMITW.
Now it looks like I just stole the idea from you. Oh well... I still might do it.
Hell raised by gooseneck on November 19, 2009 09:07 PM
I admit it... I like these adverts!
I think they're fairly clever, and retro, a bit. The guy (to be), is supposed to be Hemingway, so I think of Old Man and the Sea and all that.
I agree, however, that bloggers ARE the most interesting people in the world. =)
Hell raised by Hanya on November 20, 2009 03:52 PM
... I'm cleaning off the old blogroll, boys & girls...... if you fall off and don't like it, just give me a yell...... and hey, if you think you should be on it and aren't?.... give a holler..... and I'll see what I can do..... I seem to have been de-linked by quite a few of those on the "Bloggers I'd Like to Drink With" blogroll......
.... anyway, it is time for some housekeeping...... and I guess I'm a bit grumpy from spending the last two days raking leaves and climbing ladders..... I need a scotch and water..... and a back massage.....
"give a holler" I thought only Okies said such stuff. Sometimes we say, "holler back at me." Thanks for keeping me on the link - I look forward to moving to the "Drinking Buddies" list.
Yep... I just KNEW you didn't have enough lemonade in your life. Get busy fixin' that or I just may just have to fix your link to say... "Here, There be Dragons... oh wait it's just a grumpy marine" THEN I'll have to do a post on your marine barracks interior decorator, and don't I just have the perfect picture for that? :P
Hell raised by Lemon Stand on November 4, 2009 11:24 AM
I only have 5 or 6 on my link list and your's and BST's are my favorites. I'd like to read all of the blogs out there, but I have limited web-time (complicated-TRUST ME on this!). Anyhow, my blog isn't overly exciting, interesting sometimes, boring other times, your call here.., but I would be honored to be added to your list of keepers. Thanks either way.
Hell raised by snottydog on November 8, 2009 11:44 AM
.... up early this morning sipping coffee.... my goodness, what a weekend!.... it was a pleasure to have so many bloggers and good friends again in my house..... and the weather even cooperated better this year than it ever has before!.... no blogger popsicles in tents in the back yard on Saturday morning!....
... good food, good football, good company, good conversation...... what more could anyone ask for?....
.... as usual, I am honored and humbled that so many fine folks would travel so far to stand around in my garage, back yard, and living room for a weekend.....
.... thank you all for coming..... I could not have asked for a better birthday party........
.... and the gifts this year were astounding!.... a samurai sword, two bottles of single malt, a handmade stained glass work of art, a graphic novel about zombies, a fine bottle of port, a telephone call from a foxhole in Afghanistan, a bag chocked full of Trader Joe's finest, a song performed for me that I love, AND all of the wonderful company & conversation that each attendee gave to me...
..... oh, and thanks as well to whomever remembered to take the inflatable sheep Love Ewe with them when they left Sunday morning...... mercy..... you guys are amazing........ and I loved every minute.....
We were so sorry to miss it, but after hearing about the I-40 traffic, whew! Had a bit of barn-burner weekend anyway, what with another trip back to J'ville.
Sounds like it was a perfectly wonderful event. Maybe we need one in Charleston in late January. . .
Somehow I ended up with Bessie the Love Ewe in my trunk. I guess that's only fitting since I originally gifted Elisson with it in Helen a couple of years back. She's currently crammed in beside my spare and god forbid I get pulled over and they want to check my trunk...
I had a great time, it was certainly nice to see everyone. Next time around folks.
Hell raised by Richard on October 26, 2009 04:37 PM
What about the paper Varsity Hat? Huh? Huh?
Seriously, glad you had a great time, bro.
Hell raised by Velociman on October 26, 2009 05:52 PM
It was probably the best weekend I've ever had... what with pachinko, tons of yummy food, meeting everyone, and winning a nifty hat. Thank you more than words can convey.
Hell raised by LeeAnn on October 26, 2009 06:56 PM
..... I had a blast, guys & gals........ and you each were more than welcome....... good god, I love having you guys in my house and getting the chance to talk to you all!....
We head on down to stand in your garage and yard because you are the best. :-) So many excellent peeps all in one place - how could I miss that?
Although I did mean to pick up a birthday present for you and Denny... *sigh* I didn't quite get to it. I shall have to scour the interwebs for a new sheep to hang out in your garage. LOL.
Hell raised by Teresa on October 26, 2009 10:22 PM
A very pleasant weekend indeed! Great peeps... fine food... rockets... an inflatable Fuck-Sheep... how does one begin to describe it?
Hell raised by Elisson on October 26, 2009 10:50 PM
Sounds like the best present you got was all of your friends there to share your special day with.
:)
Glad all of you had such a great time!
:)
Thank you again, Eric, for your wonderful hospitality. Once again, I am moving into my season bluesin' time as I sit here in hot S. FL and my body feels cheated that I'm not in the real South experiencing a real Fall. It was wonderful to laugh so hard and hang with people that I'm so comfortable with.
..... today, like many other autumn days, dawned peaceful and damp, and I spent much of the morning looking forward to a day of SEC football..... Alabama, Florida, Arkansas, Georgia, and Vanderbilt....... it promised to be quite a day!.....
..... then imagine my surprise when I heard from the Velociman today saying that he and Key Monroe were just around the corner!........ that's right, friends, He and Key got their dates mixed up....... and instead of arriving next week for the Annual SE Tennessee Blogmeet, they showed up today!.....
.... actually, it was a pleasure....... we watched the Georgia/Vandy game together..... I mixed up a few gin and tonics (and even an appletini for Key), and a grand time was had by all........
.... you know, blogmeets are nice, they truly are..... it is great to have a bunch of "online journalists" camped out in your living room, or back yard....... but there is nothing like spending time with your fellow bloggers where you can actually have a True Conversation with them.......
.... nothing beats one-on-one time, I guess..........
.... so tonight I have been blessed....... I had a good few hours with some folks that I have known for a long, long time....... and next weekend I get the pleasure of the Horde of bloggers that I have known for a long, long time......... what an unexpected gift!.... .
...... carrying a blog, folks, there truly isn't anything else like it for providing a life filled with unexpected gifts.....
yep, I enjoy the blog meets but it is difficult to get to talk much with everyone in sch a short time.
The first of this month I spent a few days in Port Lavaca...most of it with Tall Cool Drink of Water and her family...it has been the high light of this road trip
I met up with GuyK, who is in OK visiting relatives and fishing) yesterday for lunch. The Piper from Extended Table showed up for a few minutes. It wasn't exactly a bogmeet, but as close as I have ever been to one. I am putting "blogmeet" on my "top 25 things to do before I die" list.
Altho evidently I have stepped on more toes than one could think possible in this (meaning this exact group) little blog world, Eric, you, sir, have been kind enough to allow me to stay.
Used to think I grew up with very good manners and always wanted everyone to be happy, but also have never met such a sensitive group as bloggers, I guess.
I'm still playing catch up on my reading after being gone for several days... does this mean V-man and Key won't be there this weekend? I hope not! Or at this rate it will be just LeeAnn and I at your place. LOL.
Hell raised by Teresa on October 20, 2009 02:03 PM
Och, aye, I got the date wrong. But this was the only weekend we could have made it, as Key has her daughter next weekend and I have a convention in the sordid city of Louisville, hometown of Muhammad Ali, Hunter S. Thompson, and Audrey Hollander.
In a way it was better, as we got some quality face time devoid of the usual drunken shenanigans.
I'll drunk dial Saturday.
Hell raised by Velociman on October 20, 2009 05:48 PM
v-Man - A likely story. You just didn't want to put up with the BS of the Blown-Eyes.
... if you haven't read Elisson's latest post on volcanoes, then go and treat yourself..... it is definitely worth the time....
.... when I read it?... all I could think of was "wow.... how amazing it must have been to have climbed up a volcano.... and then gazed over the brim down to the lava below..".....
.... it started me thinking about Mt. Tanaga and Mt. Kanaga - two of the most perfectly conically shaped volcanoes on Earth - and ones that I saw nearly every day for 18 months......
..... when the weather to the west was clear, you could clearly see them out against the skyline - 16 miles west of Adak Island.... and from time to time you'd see a trailing while pall of smoke and ash rising up into the sky.....
.... and in doing a bit of research on those two volcanoes, I suddenly realized that I HAD climbed a volcano before.... two of'em, in fact!.....
.... Mt. Adagdak and Mt. Moffett..... of course, the weather wasn't exactly Hawaiian shirt friendly..... quite the opposite, actually...... pictures of me near the summit of Mt. Moffett were posted ages ago here..... funny, though.... if it hadn't been for reading Elisson's post, I'd never have known that either of those two "mountains" were actually volcanoes......
... so, go now and read his post..... it'll make you think deep thoughts.... and then?.... well, you just never know what will happen...
.... I've had the pleasure of showing Elisson & SWMBO around my proverbial neck' O' the woods for the past two days...... and I have to say, I have certainly enjoyed myself...... good food, plenty of drinks, great conversation, and lots of nice scenery....... hell, we even threw in a little bit of History.....
.... it's hard not to have fun when you're around those two, boys & girls....... and if you're ever given the opportunity to hang with them for a few days?..... cancel whatever else is on your agenda, and watch.... and learn...... for they are both a 100% pure class-act, folks.... replete with freshly grilled filet mignon, crème caramel, poetry recitations, and fart jokes.....
... and that, rubberneckers, is what it is all about.....
... hell, anyone who can't truly enjoy a filet steak, recite a few lines of off-the-cuff poetry, and tell a decent fart joke really isn't worth spending much time with!....
..... and don't get me started on the Negroni's or the Highland Park....... OR the Texas Hold'em......
A splendid time was had by all, Eric... thanks again to you and the lovely Fiona for your hospitality... and the totally inexplicable (but welcome) desire to put up with us for all that time!
MAN!! Sounds like my kind of people! Probably heard it, but.., "Beans beans, good for your heart.., more you eat 'em, more you fart.., and when I fart how good it feels.., so let's have beans for EVERY meal!!"
Hell raised by Snottydog on July 28, 2009 11:11 AM
.... I had a wonderful time yesterday entertaining Bou & Her Boys up in the mountains... the weather was glorious and the chili-cheese dogs were just as tasty as they are every year.... but, wow.... I swear, I just don't see how she keeps up with those three little whirlwinds....
... ended up throwing a few steaks on the grill last night just before sundown.... a pretty fitting end for a day spent splashing in the headwaters of the Tellico River.... I was definitely needing some protien!.....
.... sipping coffee now, and watching the day wake up here.... The News says that thunderstorms are scheduled on and off for the whole day.... and hey, that's just fine by me!..... a rainy day will give my tired old bones a chance to recover from a day of skipping stones & jousting wits with three young firecrackers and their wonderful mother!......
..... due to a series of wily circumstances beyond my control, I actually managed to get well & truly dirty today...... grass clippings, sweat, motor oil..... hell, even a bit of blood..... the scary thing is that I enjoyed every second of it..... I even hillbilly-engineered a cunning way to swap out the blades on the riding lawnmower..... and I've only a few nicks, scratches, and a bit of a sunburn to show for my efforts.....
..... anyway, enough of all that....... back to something a tad more interesting..... for instance, I happened to read this at Dax's site in between taking water breaks and switching out the cord in the weed eater and just couldn't help myself..... (evidently he was a squaw, by the way...) .. here's what the Almighty, All-knowing Internet has to say about my past life....
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern East Australia around the year 1825. Your profession was that of a philosopher and thinker.
Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Timid, constrained, quiet person. You had creative talents, which waited until this life to be liberated. Sometimes your environment considered you strange.
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your main task is to make the world more beautiful. Physical and spiritual deserts are just waiting for your touch. Keep smiling!
Well if it said in my past life I was a Danish Viking, I was going to freak, since... well, Dad found out we're descended via some yDNA stuff. That would have been freaky.
Instead, it kept me in home turf: Ireland. The rest of it, as quirky as it all sounds, would probably be agreed upon by those who know me well.
-----------------
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Ireland around the year 1475. Your profession was that of a artist, magician or fortune teller.
----------------------------------------------
Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Bohemian personality, mysterious, highly gifted, capable to understand ancient books. With a magician's abilities, you could have been a servant of dark forces.
----------------------------------------------
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your task is to learn, to love and to trust the universe. You are bound to think, study, reflect, and to develop inner wisdom.
great just great, not much has changed for me..except ovaries
Your past life diagnosis: I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Burma around the year 850. Your profession was that of a seaman, cook or carpenter. Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
As a natural talent in psychology, you knew how to use your opportunities. Cold-blooded and calm in any situation. The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your task is to learn determination and persistency. Youd should not allow to let misfortunes take influence on your strong will. Do you remember now?
..... pork chops, heavily coated in black pepper & a little sea salt...... sautéed in a dab of butter & a splash of Worcestershire sauce until brown on both sides...... and then gently lowered into a casserole dish filled with cream of mushroom soup, a cup of double cream, a cup of diced & sautéed onions, and two cloves of crushed garlic...... with a plan to bake that at 375 for 45 minutes..... my goodness.....
.... steamed baby Dutch potatoes, and fresh corn on the cob courtesy of my houseguest for the past two days, Mr. Sam......
... that, boys & girls, is what's for dinner....
.... there's nothing like a properly gravied pork chop to drive the horses of normality back to their stables, rubberneckers....... pork chops feed the soul just as much as the satisfy the paunch...... and whipping up a batch that are 'just like Mamma used to make'?..... well, it's a balm to sooth the thorniest of attitudes.....
.... in other news, I happened to see my first toad of the season today..... marbled with grays & browns, he looked exactly like a hopping gravel....... a itty-bitty little fellow, he was, and were I not a man of such keen senses I'd likely have trod on him.... but he was fortunate to have caught me on a day when my rapier like skillz & karmic radar were both at maximum power.....
.... had I met him this Friday past?.... after lunchtime?..... well, he'd be laying out back with his lower intestines peeking wetly from his lipless mouth, I reckon.....
..... thus the world goes 'round, right?..... one day you're the windshield, the next day you're the bug........ or perhaps The Stones were right..... and if you try sometimes, you just might find that you get what you need?...... hey, I'm down with that as a Bit of Wisdom.....
...... trouble is, most folks don't really want what they need...... me, though?..... I certainly don't have that problem.....
There was a frog on the softball field the other day - not too far from homeplate on the first base line. One of the lady spectators pointed him out to my daughter who was the hindcatcher and wanted her to remove the frog from the danger of being trampled. Jesse was very good to shoo the frog away with her glove and chase it off the field to the amusment of the crowd. I was just proud that she did not give it a good kick.
My pleasure my friend....REALLY enjoyed the hospitality and conversations.
BTW, your blade has got to be somewhere in your house or car...or maybe the Mexicans have it...of course they wouldn't tell you if they found it. Just retracing our steps.
If I had it, you would've already received a ransom demand.
Sounds great. Mind you I love well prepared pork chops but any time someone mentions pork chops, the first thing that pops into my mind is that joke. About the girl so ugly her parents had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
Every....freekin'....time..
..... two tasks before I am off to bed, folks..... firstly, I would like to wish a very happy birthday to Lou's daughter, Skybag..... many, many happy returns, ma'am!......
..... and, as I promised, here's Blanche......... exactly the same as Sylvia with the following changes - slightly bigger engine, a slightly brighter shade of white, fancier shoes, and a better Bose audio system....... other than that, she feels just exactly like Sylvia did........ which, I might add, was very nice, indeed..........
.... if you're in the market for a new car?......... well, you cannot go wrong with an Audi, rubberneckers......... and y'all can trust Uncle Eric on that one......... yea, verily......
....... and with that, boys and girls, I am dark until morning!......
.... you would too, Rick, if you ever took it for a drive......
... and besides.... you can always just close your eyes and pretend that it is a Silverado..... (silver Audi) from back at the Dahlonega Meet in 2003.......
I had an Aunt Blanche. She was a trip. Neighborhood beautician, she was. Uncle Dewey built bad ass mahogany boats in the back yard. Alot of them ended up running untaxed whiskey up and down the TN River during Prohibition.
She used to smoke like a chimney. She'd even eat and smoke, ashtrays at the dining table and all. It was pretty regular that you'd walk to Aunt Blanche's house after school to wait on Momma to get off work, she'd heat you up a can of Beanie Weenies, and their'd be cigarette ashes in it when she set it down in front of you.
Think Alan Hale in capri pants. That was my Aunt Blanche.
A man's choice of vehicles says a lot about him. It makes me wonder what Vman's choice of rides says about him.
Hell raised by James Old Guy on June 6, 2009 03:59 PM
i love audis, and bmws! love the continental cars, especially if they come in British Racing Green :) strangely enough, they've taken the mercedes benzs and made them into limo taxis over here....
..... good evening, rubberneckers........ I'm going to have to check my archives, but I am pretty damn sure that squirrels mate in June around here...... why?.... well, because two have been chasing each other up and down the tree outside the blogroom window for most of the day....... and one of them looks absolutely terrified.... and the other one looks, well, you know....... up to something, if you catch my drift..... but so far, I've (thankfully) yet to bear witness to actual squirrel coitus (as I traumatically have in the past - thus the need for re-checking the archives to find a date.)...
.... anyway, apart from a quick jaunt to town in the new ride - Blanche - I have little to report...... except that the last two days have absolutely rocked, and I have enjoyed both of them immensely.....
.... oh, and Hoosierboy deserves a serious pat on the back...... so go on over and congratulate him....... hell, anyone who keeps a blog for four years deserves some sort of lifetime achievement medal.... so congratulations, Hoosierboy...... keep on punchin' those keys........
.... and hey, keep your chin up...... at least you don't write about the sex lives of squirrels.......
Right on SWG. Squirrels(grays anyway) breed twice a year. Nov.-January and May-June. First breedin' best of course cause that's in hunting season. Preoccupation with poontang makes them easier to stalk. My brother let fly at a nest once, (he had a shotgun, I a .22) and collected four with one shot. Squirrel group sex? I know not and gave it little thought since they fried up really fine. But the possibility exists.
Anyway, you can't blame'em much. Other than sex they ain't got much to do except play with their nuts...
Well, I was bored so I found it. It still cracks me up reading for maybe the 20th time. I keep having to share it with people especially when they talk about how cute those little bastards are.
As a long-time lurker I know I have a while to go to catch up to the old guard bloggers
Hell raised by hoosierboy on June 2, 2009 07:56 AM
Hold up -- little to report -- new car? I thought you went on vaca. and came back. Where was the car part? Ohhhhhh, darn it. I miss everything! (Foot stamp, hands on hips!!)
I'm with Kath... I thought I missed something and maybe I did, but even when I can't make it over here daily I try to read back on all the good stuff I missed. I so don't remember Blanche being in the picture.
.... as soon as I return from my vacation in The Olde County, I'm definitely going to do my very best to emulate The Maximum Leader......
.... good god..... nothing says "The South" like a salt-cured country ham... and after a jaunt overseas, I figure that a day spent cooking a ham would be the perfect "welcome home"..... besides, I reckon all that delicious saltiness will be just about perfect for cutting the grease from my veins after feasting on haggis, smoked sausage suppers, and deep-fried Mars bars for 11 days.....
... in other news, I spent the better part of today washing the gravel from the path that leads from the deck to the patio..... damn, that was weird to type, but it is 100% true...... and no, I don't mean that I was washing the gravel FROM the path like something you'd imagine Thoreau would pen .... I mean that I was physically removing the gravel from the path with the help of a shovel, dumping them into a wheelbarrow, and then using the hose to wash the gravel free of a winter's worth of soil accumulation..... trust me, today would have killed a bird-watching, lake-walking, quill-penned transcendentalist....
.... it's odd, I guess...... a day of honest labor has left me tired, sunburned, a bit sore, fairly dirty, and smelling more than just a little bit like a well-ridden horse..... yeah, think lather, sweat, and extremely bad breath..... I imagine that my smell alone would have caused most members of Emerson's entourage to have run for the hills at first whiff......... but the good news is that the next two days are predicted to be equally as beautiful as today has been..... and two more days of hard labor should just about finish the repairs to the path.....
..... I think I should write a poem tomorrow about washing gravel....... hell, I'm pretty sure that such an endeavor has never been attempted before in the history of mankind (for a very good reason, no doubt.).......
..... I just don't know....... but as of right now?..... I leaning towards a limerick.....
Each to his own I guess but that's a mighty long time to prepare and boil a ham.
My grandpa used to be the holiday ham boiler.
He'd wash off the ham, cut off the hock, and soak it over night.
Then he'd put it in a lard stand, hock end up, cover with water and boil it hard for about 2 hours. Then he'd remove it from the stove, put the lid on the lard stand, and wrap it in old blankets(top, bottom, and sides) to insulate it and let it sit for 24 hrs.
Then he'd take it from the lard stand, pull off the skin, trim off the excess fat and it was ready to eat.
He never bothered with a glaze as he said that was just a prissy way to present it.
All I know is it ate mighty fine that way and the after holiday leaving's made as good a ham salad as I've ever had....
Just a thought.
O/T But I just wondered why when I click on TALK I get the message that due to high spam levels I cannot leave a message and I don't get the messages to read. If I click on PERMALINK I get the messages and can leave a message. Just does not compute.
O/T But I just wondered why when I click on TALK I get the message that due to high spam levels I cannot leave a message and I don't get the messages to read. If I click on PERMALINK I get the messages and can leave a message. Just does not compute.
O/T But I just wondered why when I click on TALK I get the message that due to high spam levels I cannot leave a message and I don't get the messages to read. If I click on PERMALINK I get the messages but still cannot leave a message. Just does not compute.
The pathways on which I must travel
Are constructed from dirt and from gravel.
It'd be a nice trick
To replace it with brick
Or with asphalt. I hate that damned gravel.
And so, in the back of my hovel,
I'm frequently seen with my shovel.
It's for digging that gravel
Over which I must travel.
And now I must level my gravel.
And maybe a G&T would help the soreness... You need to find some kids in the neighborhood to do that stuff for you.
Hell raised by Richmond on April 27, 2009 03:00 PM
Sent you one -- but your spam filter is very particular!!!
But am I to understand you are actually washing gravel? Seriously? You're picking up rocks and washing them and putting them back?? If that's what it is, that's some state-funded road project, isn't it?
...... for those of you who read the previous entry about the explorers and the trout, allow me to extrapolate a wee bit.......
..... while we all had a GREAT time, we were, in all actuality, a complete failure in our venture to catch/lure a fish into Glad container subjugation......
..... however, all was not a total loss......... we (the Royal We) DID manage to catch five healthy naiads.....
.... and if you have to Google "naiad" to figure out what they are, then consider yourself very, very lucky........ for they are nasty looking creatures.....
.... who knew that they lived up here in Tennessee in crawfish country??..... but hey, they definitely do..... and nary a crawfish OR trout fry was seen anywhere while on our fieldtrip.....
.... The Explorers didn't seem to mind much, though, and had a whale of a time throwing rocks into the river and/or bashing them against boulders to "see what was inside" once they fractured.... my goodness, what would I give to have so much boisterous energy!.... thanks for a wonderful visit, Bou!...
.... anyway, today has dawned bright and warm, and The Missus and I are off to visit the tally-man to get our annual tax refund..... and if the weather holds, I suspect the backyard hammock will get a bit of exercise this afternoon!.....
Those were truly the ugliest water bugs I have ever seen. They were MEAN looking!
No fish could be found to be caught, but hell we could have caught a kayaker or two and I got to use my first out house.
A good time was held by all!
THANK YOU! The boys had a blast. And here you and I were, wearing three layers, and there the boys were in short sleeved tshirts, jeans and barefoot... I asked them today if they were cold and Ringo said, 'nah, but that water was REALLY cold'. They seemed not to notice they SHOULD have been cold... they had such a great time.
.... I'm off to the mountains tomorrow with a few intrepid explorers in tow..... and we have high hopes of panning up a baby trout with nothing more than a Glad container and some crumbled peanut butter crackers....... it should be quite interesting, to say the least.....
..... more later as it all unfolds...... pray for hungry fish, people........ and fair weather...... pray....
.....I read this earlier this afternoon, and I could not agree more...... as head chef cook and bottle washer around here, I run a pretty tight ship...... not that I am a clean freak at all, but I do tend to lean towards the "tidy"...... both bathrooms are cleaned every Saturday (due to the fact that my Mother is currently enjoying a standing invitation to Saturday dinner here every week)..... and the rest of the house gets a once-over every couple of weeks..... and every October before all of the bloggers arrive, the entire house gets a complete scrubbing.......
.... but as with any household, there are exceptions to The Rules.... as an example, the blogroom/manroom is hardly ever cleaned.... that said though, I really don't do much in the blogroom that will cause the accumulation of much nastiness...... I will say that there is an absolute beauty of a cobweb in the northwestern corner between the wall and the side of my gun cabinet - and it is off limits to all cleaning..... after 8 years of growth, it's practically a buddy of mine now..... and quite pleasant to look at while pondering various complexities - or when you're just of the mind to pause and wonder.....
.... the other exception is my kitchen sink..... you show me someone who'll let fungus grow in their kitchen sink, and I will show you an absolute waste of oxygen..... dishes in there overnight?... no problem... sure, I've been known to do that from time to time...... BUT, once a day my kitchen sink gets a complete scrub-down..... year before last, Santa Claus even brought me a sparkling new ceramic sink to replace the old stainless steel one..... I suspect that he did that hoping to curtail my sink-washing activities.... (I washed that damn stainless sink at LEAST three times a day because it just always looked dirty..).....
... El Capitan is right about another thing, as well..... it is simply Not Cool to visit someone's house and comment on the state of their baseboards.....
... anyhoo, go over and pat El Capitan on the back for not wanting to scrub too hard...... I suspect he needs a hug.....
..... the snow is slowly melting around here.... and I have a huge pot of spaghetti bubbling away on the stove..... and courtesy of ceiling fans and central heating, the entire house smells of warm oregano, basil, garlic, and parmesan......
... I logged on earlier to check my email and just happened to notice that my sitemeter has ticked up to 776,776.... and since that is a pretty cool looking number, I figured I'd snoop around and see who ole 776,776 was....
.... a Googler, of course..... a poor, lost soul who searched for "Ogden Nash Tibet" and found his proverbial Pot O'Gold happily perched at the end of this rainbow....
..... so to you, gentle Googler, I offer you a "you're welcome..... I am most happy to be of service..."
Congrats on the BIG numbers. You do have a great site. I always leave it with a smile on my face and chuckling. That's a GOOD thing. Thanks for the venue.
Hell raised by DammitWomann on February 4, 2009 12:17 AM
At least you get googled for "Ogden Nash Tibet" I get googled for "assless chaps"!
:)
Hell raised by Oddybobo on February 4, 2009 09:30 AM
..... I'm absolutely and completely ready for springtime to come..... in fact, I remembered today a post that I quite literally "penned" nearly two years ago...... and since I plan on watching The Game tonight until time for bed - and there will not be any posting tonight - I thought a refresher might be in order.......
.... so here's one from late-March of 2007.....
... as for the game, I don't have a dog IN this race..... but it'll be interesting to see how it all pans out.......
... oh, and the original scribbling that I nabbed that photo off of is here.......
Remember seeing Shelby Foote interviewed some time ago on C-Span Booknotes. Said he did all his writing in longhand. Wrote THE CIVIL WAR: A NARRIATIVE, all three volumes, in said manner with a dip type ink pen. Said that method gave him time to dwell on what he was putting down on paper. Seemed to work well for him.......carry on.
Met him once some years ago in Memphis. Only to exchange pleasantries....He was a True Southern Gentleman.
No joke, it looks absolutely identical to my mother's handwriting. I have to somehow find a way to show that to you, which would involve scanning the birthday of Hanukkah card they recently gave me (my Mom is the Card Filler Outer of my parents).
..... it is true that The Internet is a wonderful, wonderful place.... stuffed full of gems and dross, you just never know what the next clickety-click is going to give you....... and while hope springs eternal every Friday around here, today was not as I expected......
.... and once again The Great Reader has fallen grossly inadequate in trying to convince me to dance on a Friday......
.... sir, WTF?..... KC and the Sunshine Band?..... 'BoogieShoes'?...... have you been sniffing the uranium again?....
.... brother, that stuff isn't even music, is it?......
..... anyway, here's a little something that blipped across my radio on the way out to town today....... not really danceable, no.... but it beats the hell out of 'Boogie Shoes'......
.... and for those of you who wish to sing along, feel free.....
ZZ Top
I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide
Well I was rollin' down the road in some cold blue steel,
I had a bluesman in the back, and a beautician at the wheel.
We're going downtown in the middle of the night
We was laughing and I'm jokin' and we feelin' alright.
Oh I'm bad, I'm nationwide.
Yes I'm bad, I'm nationwide.
Easin' down the highway in a new Cadillac,
I had a fine fox in front, I had three more in the back.
They sportin' short dresses, wearin' spike-heeled shoes,
They smokin' Lucky Strikes, and wearing nylons too.
'Cause we're bad, we're nationwide.
Yeah we bad, we're nationwide.
Well I was movin' down the road in my V-8 Ford,
I had a shine on my boots, I had my sideburns lowered.
With my New York brim and my gold tooth displayed,
Nobody give me trouble cause they know I got it made.
I'm bad, I'm nationwide.
Girl I'm bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, I'm nationwide.
..... I read this a few days ago and, well, I just couldn't help myself..... clicken to embiggen, of course......
.... my humble living room is home to two massive book shelves junk repositories that are chockablock with stuff.... so hey, Erica!.... I hope that this suitably tweaks your OCD!.... just like pets & small children, you have to FEED a good mental disorder to keep it happy!.... and I really hope that this helps!.....
... oh, and the magazines down near the bottom-right are mainly old Military History, Civil War, and Jane's Defence Weekly....
In the past few days I have been both the recipient and target of a number of bookshelf "offerings." It's wonderful, thank you. I'd have a field day with shelves such as those.
And now I feel I must share with you the Michael Korda quote that I keep taped to my monitor at work: "The biggeset fool in the world is he who merely does his work supremely well, without attending to appearance."
It has long fueled my mental disorder in positive ways.
Hell raised by Erica on December 17, 2008 05:05 PM
We have 3 bookshelves - I think a bit taller than those in our basement. We have built in bookshelves in our bedroom in an alcove on each well and the second bedroom upstairs has an entire wall of bookshelves. Last of all (back down in the basement) I have a bookshelf in my office.
There are 2 bags of books waiting for me to find time to take them to a local donation place because my husband tells me that having all these shelves full of books can not be a good thing...
I'll have to take pictures I think - you can tell me.
LOL.
Hell raised by Teresa on December 17, 2008 07:03 PM
Geeze... I really can't type tonight.
I meant our bookshelves were likely a bit taller than yours.
And the bookshelves in our bedroom are built into the wall...
I know there are more mistakes, but I give up.
Hell raised by Teresa on December 17, 2008 07:05 PM
Digging the pouch of Levi Garrett. In case of emergency, break glass, kind of thing?
I knew if I looked hard enough, I'd find a penguin.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on December 18, 2008 04:43 AM
Did you know that if you looked hard enough, you'd also find "The Joys of Yiddish" by Leo Rosten?
Hell raised by Erica on December 18, 2008 07:59 AM
I'll see your 2 bookcases and raise you 4 more! (and that's just in the house; there are totes full of books in the 'man-room').
Hell raised by Michele on December 18, 2008 11:45 AM
"Chesty"??
Hell raised by Alaska Kim on December 18, 2008 12:16 PM
Kim
Its a "Jarhead thing", and no it's not about well endowed young ladies.
Hell raised by James Old Guy on December 18, 2008 12:43 PM
Screw the books! You got Star Trek Fact Files and hot rod models!!!
Hell raised by JihadGene on December 18, 2008 01:11 PM
Erica would blow a gasket if she realized how many bookshelves and bookcases we have here at Chez Elisson, all chockablock with books and other assorted crap.
Aside from the credenza/bookcase in my office, we have three big bookcases upsatirs...plus two smaller ones in the computer room...plus a few in the other bedrooms. Plus three big ones and a fistful of small ones in the basement.
Plus a big built-in in the den. Oy.
We need more, for we have more books than will fit on the shelves we have. And right now, those books are all piled on our dining room table and in our three upstairs bathrooms (filling all three tubs, too) while our new carpet is installed.
Erica, be glad you are not here...you would start bleeding from the ears.
Hell raised by Elisson on December 18, 2008 03:04 PM
Hah! Star Trek on top of 'em all!
Hell raised by Cappy on December 18, 2008 10:24 PM
After the holidays I'll have to take a picture of MY built-ins. Holy cow are they a wreck. But we likes it that way.
Hell raised by caltechgirl on December 19, 2008 11:51 AM
If you really wanted to scare him Erica threaten to send the Zombie Librarian to arrange his books and his BRAIIINS! Some interesting shelves there Eric. I used to see Chesty's medals daily. They were in a shadow box display on the mess decks of my second ship.USS Lewis B. Puller FFG-23.
Hell raised by Rey B on December 19, 2008 01:04 PM
..... we live in a world of wonders..... and beasts....
.... whilst checking the blogroll this morning, I happened to notice that Oom Keesie was displaying a nice photograph of a strange creature that had visited him recently.....
.... and while not quite as impressively camouflaged as his, I couldn't help but remember the day that this guy wandered into the garage here last summer....
... here's another view......
.... and yes, that is a full-sized bottle of beer in the background..... looking back now, I'm pretty sure that he was after our hummingbirds..... a few years ago, I actually watched a mantis sit in the driveway and crunch its way through a struggling field mouse..... and it was not a pretty sight.....
.... but that's life..... sure, it's not like watching a lion rip the guts out of a gazelle, but still.....
This one was small but big ones are awesome hunters. They hunt above their weight.
Hell raised by keeskennis on December 14, 2008 01:53 AM
Mantids are interesting; one thing a lot of people don't know about them is that they won't eat dead insects. They only attack and eat prey that is moving. Put one in a jar with a dozen dead bugs and it will starve.
I am officially afraid of Praying Mantiseseses... or Manti? They are not big and you witnessed one eating a mouse? I had no idea they were carnivores. I always thought they were cool those 'stick bugs'. Now? No. They make my skin crawl.
The image of a praying mantis eating a mouse? That's enough to give me the Shit-Willies...it's like a scene from Starship Troopers writ small...giant bugs devouring mammals...Lord help us all...
Hell raised by Elisson on December 14, 2008 09:59 PM
Nothing wrong with the mantids (mantid is the proper plural for mantis); anything that eats other bugs is fine with me.
From Elisson comes this snazzy little Meme. Simply indicate the things you’ve done (or claim to have done) in boldface...
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
.... yeah.... twice.... and we sucked both times.......
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
..... my parents took me down to Florida to visit when I was 12.....
8. Climbed a mountain
.... many, many, many mountains......
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
.... no..... but that is only because they hadn't reopened it when I was there two years ago......
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
.... took the sleeper from Montrose to London and back many, many times.....
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
... built them and then slept in them!....
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
.... my last year of little league?...... I hit 32..... never hit a single one while in high school though..... I think I must have used up my freebies......
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
.... I taught a bunch of guys to climb when I first moved to Scotland...... a friend of mine had taught me while I was in Alaska......
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
....no, but good god, I certainly WANT to.....
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
..... did the Gulf a few times...... and the Bering Sea four times..... caught a very yummy halibut while fishing off of The Kuluk Clipper off Adak.....
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone SCUBA diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
.... only if skirting their airspace counts......
60. Served at a soup kitchen
.... no, never served...... but I have donated to them quite often since moving back to the USA....
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
..... Alaska, 2004..... took the Alaskan Railway out to Whittier and then cruised out to see the whales......
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
.... no.... but it IS on the horizon......
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
.... hey, what?.... I'm from Tennessee....
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
..... all of my fingers at least once..... playing baseball for fifteen years - as a catcher - well, your fingers are going to take a beating.....
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
..... and I never intend to do it again....
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
..... many, many times...
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
.... hung out and had a few beers with Sam Elliot once at DFW....... shook James Taylor's hand backstage in Edinburgh once after his concert...... enjoyed both experiences very much.....
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
....my Dad died back in 2001....
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
.... only once I started attending blogmeets and needed to be guided in via a friendly voice.... but now?...... it is a vital communication tool......
99. Been stung by a bee
.... more times than I can remember... and hated it every single time...... my three top fears?.... Zombies, sharks, and bumblebees......
100. Read an entire book in one day
.... most definitely....
...... life is a puzzle and a journey, or so I am told....... I see that there are a LOT of things that I still need to do before I pop my proverbial clogs and check out....... and that is a GOOD thing.....
Good stuff. I have this meme in my hip pocket for future use.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on November 25, 2008 11:17 PM
Zombies, sharks, and bumblebees, eh? I smell PhotoShop...
...and you'll have your shot at a total eclipse in August 2017, when one will pass directly over your house in Englewood, TN...
Hell raised by Elisson on November 25, 2008 11:18 PM
I need to do this one too . . . later though. Sleep is on the horizon for now.
Hell raised by oddybobo on November 25, 2008 11:49 PM
61 out of 100. Now its time I should also post my list so that I can get a score of 100.
Hell raised by Kevin on November 29, 2008 11:09 AM
This is really long list and it sure is very exciting to these things but I do not think that I will be able to get so much time out of my busy schedule and I wish luck to those who dare to do it.
Hell raised by Moshe on November 29, 2008 09:16 PM
...... I have always loved the music of Gordon Lightfoot..... last year I even made the trip up to Knoxville to watch him perform at the Tennessee Theatre........ but he, Croce, Prine, Van Zandt, and James Taylor have always amazed me...... their songs were magic......
..... and to that list, I must now add El Capitan........
..... the missus and I drove down to Chattanooga today and had a beautiful lunch with Richard of Shadowscope and his missus, Holder...... their two lovely daughters were in attendance as well, and they were a true pleasure to meet...... I have a feeling that both of them will end up being artists - judging by the coloring books that Big River provided them with as we ate our meal......
.... between listening to Big Folk talk, coloring, and eating, their enthusiasm (and anticipation) for hitting the Tennessee Aquarium had both girls itching to get going...... his eldest daughter had even busied herself during the meal by drawing pictures of all the critters that she hoped to see once lunch was over!....
..... so after a healthy meal and a few beers, we left them to go on their way...... it was a very civilized way to spend an autumn Saturday afternoon...... and I hope they make it up again soon.....
.... I then hit the jewelry store to pick up a piece that we'd left to be adjusted..... and then, on to the mall at Hamilton Place..... I'll tell you one thing, boys and girls..... the kind folks at Jared's definitely do not skimp when it comes to taking care of their customers..... in Knoxville, we usually frequent Carlyle & Co..... but when in Chattanooga?.... I highly recommend Jared's....
.... anyway, I'm beat..... and since I STILL haven't gotten the YouTube bug out of my system yet, here's another one for y'all to chew on for a while.....
.... I'm off to pour a Laphroaig, slip my socks off, and make fists with my toes in the carpet for the rest of the night......
His drummer (in the late 60s) was Opal's neighbor on Ridgecrest Road in Jackson, TN.
Hell raised by bitterman on November 8, 2008 10:02 PM
Johnny Cash was such a Bad Boy, but I liked him bcuz he was our local bad boy (SoCal)
Hell raised by DammitWoman on November 9, 2008 01:15 AM
Richard's girls are a caution, ain't they? Holder, too - a Colander Girl of the first water!
Hell raised by Elisson on November 9, 2008 02:28 PM
My boys love their girls. They are great kids... well behaved, laugh readily and are just a whole lot of fun. Richard and Holder are GREAT parents and wonderful people. You can see it in their girls.
It was damn sure nice to see the both of you. We did have a great time and of course by the time we finished the aquarium both the youngest girl and myself were DONE for the day. We've spent the great majority of the weekend dealing with whatever bug has been floating around. Yuck. Off to work now.
Hell raised by Richard on November 10, 2008 05:54 AM
prehensile toes, eh? The things we learn about our friends.
It was great to see you guys again.
And I meant what I said about cooking for y'all, too.
Hell raised by holder on November 10, 2008 07:31 PM
..... parmesan & onion roasted potatoes ala Eric, honey glazed ham baked with pears, and a big pile of Caesar salad...... yep, that's dinner tonight......
.... by the way, is anyone missing an umbrella?.... I ask because I seem to own one now.... which is quite odd, really.... since I most definitely didn't own an umbrella prior to this year's Hysterics at Eric's Shindig...... and not being a big proponent of umbrellage in general, I will be happy to ship it back to whence it came if someone confesses to having lost one....... it's one of those expandable jobbies decked out in a green and yellow floral pattern...... wooden handle, etc....
... and while I am oddly happy about my new umbrella being an addition to my collection of blogmeet souvenirs, I can't - in clear conscience - maintain possession...... so, 'fess up, folks....... and do it quick before it rains.....
..... you guys aren't going to believe this, but I have absolutely ZERO photos from this weekend's blogmeet..... (except for the one that Teresa sent me....) ..... bad, BAD host!..... how the hell can I have a blogmeet and completely forget to take photos!?....
.... I do have a video, though..... a surreal, spiraling, tangly sort of vodka-induced bongo/back-of-a-guitar showdown between Jimbo and John Cox...... good thing that Zonker gave me a pith helmet.... it went perfectly with the African beats that those whiteboys were churning out in my living room......
... but anyway, sorry about everyone's hotel catching fire..... hey, it wasn't MY laundry, but still..... I should have been out there with a bucket and a hose trying to keep all of y'all safe instead of snoring peacefully in my bed three miles away!.... although, Dax managed to keep a fire all night long in my back yard without the slightest singe....... so, perhaps I should just provide tents for everyone next year!....
.... so thank you all for coming to visit.... it was wonderful having you guys and gals here......
... and Confabulator, Yabu, & T1G for the phone calls!.... all of you rock..... oh, and those stains came out of the carpet just FINE!......
.... I'm off to stuff some bell peppers with my Secret Formula bolognaise and bake'em for dinner........ but, my goodness..... next October can't get here quickly enough, folks...... and yes.... according to The Missus, there will be another meet-up here next year..... so mark your calendars and start stockpiling ammunition........ and firewood..... and vodka......
Amazing. You host an amazing weekend-long party and then you thank us for showing up and having a good time.
Can't wait until next year!
Hell raised by Elisson on October 28, 2008 09:44 PM
"Secret Formula bolognaise"
EWWWWWWWWWWW.
Hell raised by agent bedhead on October 28, 2008 11:59 PM
Well, I have more pics - if I can find the time to get to them and send them out to you. (and if your computer doesn't go wonky and make them look strange ;-) )
Fire, schmire... we now have a story to tell for years to come. LOL.
Hell raised by Teresa on October 29, 2008 12:00 AM
What Elisson said.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on October 29, 2008 01:45 AM
Eric,
It's just too far a drive for me. I'm just gonna have to move to Tennessee.
Springtime, dude. Oktoberfest in Helen and the SWG Spring Festival. Having them two weeks apart makes it hard for a lot of people.
Hell raised by zonker on October 29, 2008 09:42 AM
When Obama is elected I hope he will spread the airline tickets around and some extra foldin money so I can be there with you partaking of fun in TennisShee and at the US taxpayer's expense! God breast Obama's America!
Great Reader, KIM Jong IL
Hell raised by JihadGene on October 29, 2008 12:48 PM
Thank you again, kind sir. Thank you for the hospitality, for taking care of my kid sister and making sure all was well for her and my unborn niece/nephew, for the guns and shooting, for the laughs, for the warmth of your home.
As always, one of the highlights of my year. I'm good for ziti next year too!
And Zonker... why don't they move Helen until Spring? Tennessee is so wonderful in the Fall!
Sounds like y'all had a great time. Sorry we had to miss it again this year. Sooner or later our schedules will work out and we can hook up. Speaking of which, shoot me an email. I actually have next weekend off for a change and we are looking for something to do. My new digs are linked to above BTW. Still blogging at Shadowscope, but strictly crime stuff now.
Hell raised by Richard on October 30, 2008 10:20 PM
..... been cleaning weapons for the better part of the day, folks...... hey, you gotta have your AR-15 ready, waiting, and freshly cleaned these days, right?......... my goodness, looking back now, I should have recruited y'all to assist on Saturday afternoon!..... then again, that would have been a serious downer for everyone involved......... it's hard to eat ribs when your fingers are covered in Balistol & gun oil........ but hey, it was great to watch you guys and gals plug away with firearms.......
...... but anyway, I am TIRED..... I suspect that three nights of going to bed at 3 and 4 in the morning have laid my sorry bones low........ and hell, I've found myself caught in one constant, repetitive yawn since 5pm today...... so links, a recap, and photos will have to wait until tomorrow........ I'm worn right the hell out......
.... by the way, have any of the other recipients of Recondo32's 'birthday present' been actively searching for info on that 'porn star'?....... not that I have, or anything..... I'm just asking for asking's sake........ and to see if any of you guys have some handy URLs........
.... blogmeets, good god..... you - quite literally - can't make this shit up.......
...... well, brothers & sisters, the last of the bloggers have departed........ and you know, there are times when parting really IS a sweet sorrow...... and this old house just doesn't seem the same once everyone heads for home......
.... still, though, thanks to everyone who attended this year...... ladies and gentlemen, wow...... what a party.......
.... oh, and I now finally own a real pith helmet........ oh yes, I most certainly do...... mercy......
.... more later once I've IV'd some orange juice.......
You and your wife are wonderful hosts, Eric. Thank you very much for once again ensuring that everyone had a great weekend. Hope to see you again soon!
Hell raised by zonker on October 26, 2008 08:04 PM
.... cheers, Zonker...... you are a wildman..... and thank you for the helmet!...... you are always welcome to come for a visit..... anytime.....
Eric, thank you so much for hosting such a great gathering this weekend. It is so nice to get away from normal everyday life to such great people in such a beautiful place.
Ya know, my hat would have been great for Halloween this Friday ;-)
You and Fiona get some rest and enjoy some peace :-) Thank you again!
Thank you for a great time, Eric. You and the wife outdid yourselves.
I cannot quit laughing at bits and pieces. I will forever quote Jerry, 'I'm a farmboy. Do I make you hot?" What a way to wake up in the morning... that didn't really come out right, but you know what I mean. Frickin' hotel fires... Heh.
..... Oddy, you are a treat, miss...... and you make one helluva batch of dessert.....
... Jerry, thank you for making the trip...... I hope that Jimbo's modeling skills met with your approval?..... and hey, NO ONE sits on my couch with as much panache as you..... you rock.....
... Bou, my dear, it was wonderful to have you and your cadre visit!...... and I got to feel Morrigan's baby kick!.... AND assist you with your icing duties!....
.... Tommy, you are the man.... thank you for the Zombies...... and I mean that will all my heart.......
Eric - you throw the very best of parties. Thank you once again for another classic bloggy get together. And also to Fiona for her fortitude in the face of a house full of guests for an entire weekend. LOL.
Hell raised by Teresa on October 26, 2008 09:46 PM
You and the Missus are truly fine, fine peeps and outstandingly gracious and excellent hosts...your hospitality and friendship (and your sweet baby soft hair) are so very much appreciated by me, and I strongly believe that you hosted the greatest cross section of humanity and goodness in the world in your home this weekend. An excellent time, brother.
Yessiree, the Bodyguard and I wound up driving straight through. It was one of those "don't want to stay there -- don't want to eat there" things. Ultimately we decided on getting something to eat and making the final decision as to whether to make the final push.
So, we are home, safe and sound and seriously wore out from the enjoying the absolutely terrific gathering of terrific peeps. Thanks to you and Fiona for your hospitality.
I could have done without the farookin' fire in the hotel, but that wasn't your fault.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on October 27, 2008 12:06 AM
I had a great time meeting all the new faces and seeing all the same old faces. Eric, you and Fiona are wonderful hosts. I welcome backyard fires...much better than hotel fires. Just Damn!
Hell raised by Dax Montana on October 27, 2008 06:22 AM
Ummm, were you aware that yesterday was "World Zombie Day?" you sent us all home so that you could lock up the house and hide behind the door didn't you? ;)
Hell raised by oddybobo on October 27, 2008 12:18 PM
The best part about the Hysterics at Eric's is the fact that you and Fiona always make us feel right at home.
Many thanks for hosting a wonderful weekend-long party. Good food, good drink...and, best of all, of course, a passel o' good peeps. We had a blast!
Hell raised by Elisson on October 27, 2008 12:36 PM
Eric - Had a great time as usual. Thanks for having us.
Unlike Jim and his Bodyguard, I wasn't tough enough to drive straight home - but got home safely just a bit ago...
Thank you and Fiona so much for being such gracious hosts. I had a most wonderful time... The hospitality at Casa de SWG is unmatched. And you look fabulous in a pith helmet, can I just say?? You rock. :)
Hell raised by Richmond on October 27, 2008 03:50 PM
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Hell raised by chanel watches on August 27, 2009 02:02 AM
...... ladies and gentlemen, I am very, very, very happy to report that there is now a large stack of firewood currently residing in my back yard quite near the fire pit...... I know that there has been much worry over last year's lack of firewood, and as a beneficent host, I aggressively rectified last year's oversight.... I did, however, ensure that the kindly, toothless gentleman who delivered it placed each stick in a direct line between the fire pit and a fairly good-sized fire ant mound.....
..... hey, what?... after all, rubberneckers, nothing is truly easy in this world, is it?..... every pleasure is joined with an equal and opposing pain....... that's just life.... and since we'll all be toasty out next to the proverbial woodpile, at least those fire ants will keep us cosmically balanced...... karma requires that, you know?..... besides, I'm giving you all fair warning that they're there....... so, hey, my conscience is clear!.....
..... I did nuke the remaining un-trapped horde of yellowjackets, though...... y'all can just consider that one a 'gift' from an incredibly excited host..... after all, I do I want y'all to have a great time!.....
... so with that, boys and girls, I'm off to whip up some meatloaf for The Missus & pour myself a G & T........ good lord, I'm itching all over waiting for y'all to get here........
..... oh, and my first visitor arrives tomorrow afternoon...... so I seriously doubt that there will be any posting from me between now and when I throw everyone out at Sunday lunchtime........
Damn, wish we could make it. My oldest girl turns 11 Friday night so this is her weekend and of course I'll be working as well.
Hell raised by Richard on October 22, 2008 07:39 PM
All packed and ready to rock.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on October 22, 2008 09:29 PM
Be there with bells on and whatever else I can throw together! Whoo Hoo! Just checked the weather - Bou is going to freeze her cookies off!
Hell raised by oddybobo on October 22, 2008 10:55 PM
See Ya Friday night!
Hell raised by Dax Montana on October 23, 2008 06:39 AM
See Ya Friday Night!
Just Damn!
Hell raised by Dax Montana on October 23, 2008 06:40 AM
I am SO jealous. Next year, for sure!
Rats.
Hell raised by Omnibus Driver on October 23, 2008 04:08 PM
Bro, sounds like you're well prepared. From what I've read, you're not going to have to worry much about the residual wildlife. Once the party gets started, they'll be departing in mass. Much like the israelites fleeing Egypt. Not so much to escape slavery but to find some peace and quiet.
Wish I could be there.
..... I'm not one for the arts, really, but I will say that watching this gentlemen perform this once was a high point....... he was magnificent.......
.... here's a small clip of it....... the dialogue is beautiful....... and O'Toole is incredible........
..... I'm off to watch 'The Mummy' again....... for the fifteenth time.......... I hope that you ladies and gentlemen have a wonderful evening!...
I was going to leave a comment, however, my ice is dry, so bugger it!
Hell raised by SpudKing on October 21, 2008 11:16 PM
Favorite lines:
Evie: Do you swear?
Rick: Every damn day!
Hell raised by Sugar Britches on October 22, 2008 08:42 AM
I don't know if you remember TFI Friday, the British TV show from the mid to late 1990s, but they once had Peter O'Toole on it for a feature entitled: "Peter O'Toole reads lines that are clearly beneath him". It had him reading the label from a bottle of HP Sauce and, I believe, the lyrics to The Spice Girls' "Wannabe". He read everything put in front of him with incredible gravitas, as though they were The Ten Commandments. It was fantastic.
...... many thanks to everyone who wished me well on my birthday yesterday...... and honestly, I am quite touched..... hey, you guys rock..... and Zonker, well, thank you too......... you're a helluva guy.....
... things were mildly festive around here for the occasion of me turning the ancient age of 36...... I supped upon chili, baked potatoes, and pineapple upside down cake....... 35 was great..... and I suspect that 36 will be even better.........
.... but really, I think that this clip from The Fast Show probably tells a better story of yesterday than anything I could possibly throw together tonight......
...... oh, and since Helen was just a few days ago, I imagine that most stories told after 10pm at ANY blogmeet sound very much the same.......
..... oh, and for the record?....... for the last two days, I have been mostly eating Brazil nuts..........
The last time I sounded like that I woke up with red toenails.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on October 16, 2008 01:50 AM
That's the perfect example of the evening discussions in Helen. Reminds me of a story I once heard about two fellows by the name of Sacco and Vanzetti.
Hell raised by zonker on October 16, 2008 08:05 AM
Ahem...36 is *not* ancient, Mr. SWG! I have about 3 weeks left at 36 and I don't feel ancient (even with becoming a grandma last week!)
Hell raised by Lisa W. on October 16, 2008 06:17 PM
..... back from Helen safe and sound...... the drive over - crossing the mountains - was amazing.... beautiful colors, bright sky, calm lakes & sparkling rivers..... and lots and LOTS of curves for Sylvia to enjoy....
..... many thanks to Richard for organizing it this year AND being head chef...... the steaks that he grilled out by the river were awesome..... and RSM's green bean casserole rocked the house.....
.... and it was great to see everyone again.... Rick, Georgia, Richard & his bro, Michelle, Kelly & The Senior chief, Zonker, Denny, RSM, Velociman, Key & daughter, and Dax.... it is impossible NOT to have fun when you're having a few beers with that crowd of people...
.... you know, Helen exists in its own surreal little world, ladies & gentlemen...... hell, just like a lot of us bloggers, really..... and in weird, late-night bullshit session, alcohol-doused ways, well, bloggers & Helen, GA are as natural of a combination as a leaf bobbing along the Chattahoochee......
..... I've spent the better part of this afternoon researching pain and trapping yellowjackets.... I've run the subject pretty much to ground, I think...... thresholds, volumes, modes, types, etc..... it's been an eye-opening experience.......
.... so far, my favorite quote regarding pain still comes from 'The Princess Bride'... but that's another story...
.... however, I did read of a scientist from the Carl Hayden Bee Research Center that curried my curiosity..... one Justin O. Schmidt.....
.... it seems that old Justin enjoyed spending his time researching the venom of various stinging insects and working out how it operates when interacting with humans...... AND how it feels..... mesmerizing stuff, to be sure..... hey, who among us hasn't been zapped by a bumblebee, wasp, fire ant, or hornet before?.... want to know the difference between the pain of a Bald-faced hornet's sting pulsing through your forearm or those little raised pustules you get from stomping on a fire ant nest?.... just ask Justin.... he's been there and done that......
...... anyway, it seems that Justin created the Justin O. Schmidt Pain Index to help us all rate our stinging-insect experiences...... it is a sort of pain scale for what different bites feel like - and the level of pain that is experienced.....
.... of course, this is all good and fine, and I applaud Dr. Schmidt for his good labors..... but as I actually READ his descriptions - ala wikipedia - I found myself thinking that either Dr. Schmidt was a complete masochist, or he was a little bit off his rocker...... or perhaps a little of both... here is an excerpt from the wikipedia article.....
Subsequently, Schmidt has refined his scale, culminating in a paper published in 1990 which classifies the stings of 78 species and 41 genera of Hymenoptera. Notably, Schmidt described some of the experiences in vivid and almost synesthetic detail:
* 1.0 Sweat bee: Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm.
* 1.2 Fire ant: Sharp, sudden, mildly alarming. Like walking across a shag carpet & reaching for the light switch.
* 1.8 Bullhorn acacia ant: A rare, piercing, elevated sort of pain. Someone has fired a staple into your cheek.
* 2.0 Bald-faced hornet : Rich, hearty, slightly crunchy. Similar to getting your hand mashed in a revolving door .
* 2.0 Yellowjacket: Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W. C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue.
* 2.x Honey bee and European hornet : Like a matchhead that flips off and burns on your skin.
* 3.0 Red harvester ant: Bold and unrelenting. Somebody is using a drill to excavate your ingrown toenail .
* 3.0 Paper wasp: Caustic & burning. Distinctly bitter aftertaste. Like spilling a beaker of hydrochloric acid on a paper cut.
* 4.0 Tarantula hawk: Blinding, fierce, shockingly electric. A running hair drier has been dropped into your bubble bath.
* 4.0+ Bullet ant : Pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like fire-walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch rusty nail in your heel.
..... quite a descriptive fellow, that Dr. Schmidt, eh?..... "like fire-walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch rusty nail in your heel?"..... that's hardcore, folks........ I hope that I never meet an angry crowd of Bullet ants anywhere....... but in my neck of the woods?.... I've been dealing with the hot, smoky, almost irreverent types all day long.......
..... see?..... my goodness, rubberneckers.... y'all have no idea the lengths, trials, tribulations, stingsslings & arrows that I put up with, dodge around, and go through to make sure that My Backyard in October is a suitable location for a festive blogmeet!...... next year I'm making Yabu come down a WEEK early just to help me beat all of the woodland creatures into some semblance of civilization..... doing this shit by myself isn't that much fun......
That dude's pretty good. I guess you could call him a sommelier of pain. My description of being hit by a baldface hornet is: SSSSSSSHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!
Maybe you'll get an early frost. That would clear out most of the critters from your yard. Except for the deer of course. They'll just saunder on in and drink up all your Scotch.....while your cats watch.
Oh you poor thing! The lengths you go to to protect us all is amazing!!
Hell raised by Michele on October 3, 2008 06:59 PM
i'd like to add one...
* 5.0+ Giant Cicada Killer Wasp: starts as a pyretic .22 caliber bullet entering your kneecap, spreading like a searing wave of grass fire across an open plain, finishing with a not so subtle oakiness of a pounding fatherly paddle.
here's the label: http://www.critterzone.com/magazineresource/magazine-article-cicada-killer-wasp-Sphecius-speciosus.htm
Funny you should mention this... today I suit up in my best homemade beekeeper suit and try to get rid of the hornet nest on my side fence. I hope I'm not allergic, as this would be a bad time to find out.
You are a good host, to make things un-stingy for your guests.
..... so, like, does everyone remember how to get to my house, or what?..... no one has asked for directions yet, so I am assuming that y'all are good.......
.... oh, and remember, turn left at the pillar with the eagle on top...... then follow your the road until you see all of the interesting people milling about in my front yard......
Last year, as I was driving (in the pitch black DARK) and Erica was on the phone with you, I was practically shouting at her...
ASK HIM HOW FAR THE ROAD IS FROM THE HOTEL. I DON'T REMEMBER!
She ignored me and kept talking.
How it is we didn't end up in Knoxville is beyond me. This year I'll bring my Garmin.
Hell raised by Teresa on September 25, 2008 09:56 PM
I asked . . . I think . . .
Hell raised by oddyboob on September 25, 2008 11:07 PM
"oddyboob" made a comment. What is going on at your site here? ;-) Can't make it this year. Hope you keep holding it for a while longer.
Hell raised by vw bug on September 26, 2008 10:02 AM
Have a great time!
Hell raised by JihadGene on September 26, 2008 11:22 AM
It's easy to find. Just drive north on I-75 until you smell the aroma of fine Single-Malt... then turn right.
Hell raised by Elisson on September 26, 2008 11:32 AM
So do I take the Arbroath road or the Brechin road?
Hell raised by Mark on September 26, 2008 12:33 PM
Holy crap - I totally said boob . . . heh.
Hell raised by oddybobo on September 26, 2008 02:15 PM
I'll have a Garmin. Or Sissy will. As many times as I've been to your home, what am I on... like 6 times including with my boys, I always take a wrong turn. BTW, you cannot get to your subdivision by taking the left right before you take YOUR left off that main road. I figured they were all tied in... but they are not.
Can't make it again this year unfortunately. It was all I could do to take the week off for Helen.
Hell raised by Richard on September 27, 2008 04:25 PM
Geez, I wish I could remember that. Had I started drinking yet? Well, I will try very hard this year to be a bit more alert and not fall in ditches, or require being carried by two people to my room. Sweet mama, I could hardly wait.
Hell raised by Erica on September 27, 2008 08:26 PM
.... you know, I've been at this blogging business a long, long time..... hell, it'll have been five years when September 10th rolls around this year...... and I can honestly say that I have done my fair share of photoshopping some of my fellow bloggers... and in turn, I have been photoshopped quite a few times myself.........hey, it's all in good fun.....
..... but one never knows where the mind of Oom Keesie is going to wander when it comes photoshopping...... he of crocodile manglings and lion maraudings...... I mean, how on earth could someone take this photo of me as a spry 19-year old Lance Corporal (taken from this post, incidentally), and morph it into the lewd, crude, and absolutely rude photoshop'd version here?.......
.. good grief, folks..... and me with my WarHappy Face on!?...... I swear.....
...... you know, I do so love me a good story..... especially when it involves Southern Grannies, loyal Southern Grandsons riddled with guilt & angst, Bingo, and happy, happy endings......
..... and just where might one find such a dizzying combination whilst surfing through blogdom?...... well, at The Bitterman's Place, of course......
.... so go now, and enjoy...... his Granny sounds a LOT like MY Granny......
I already read it. I thought she was gonna whip bitterman's tail. Son, you should've heard the things that come out of my grannies mouth. It saddens me to realize that she was before her time, and true this, if the intardnet was 'round and she was gifted the "blog"... That would have been a daily read for me...
Ahem. Good morning. Whilst you slacking about per usual, IE7 and Sitemeter decided to have a snit. Everybody's gotta kill the Sitemeter script on their site if they want other Bill Gates IE7 slaves to be able to see them.
Poem by Yo Mama Microsoft and blues sung by JihadGene
Hell raised by JihadGene on August 2, 2008 03:31 PM
I read about it on Instapundit last night. Decided to wait and see if anyone complained to me... no one did so I did nothing. Now all is fixed. I wonder if anyone noticed. heh.
..... you know, things have changed over time, my gentle rubberneckers......
.... once upon a time a Man could voice his fears, bear his soul, and cast his frail heart out into the vast openness of the mighty blogosphere without nary a peep of indignation, consolation, or trepidation......
.... and indeed, many moons ago I was such a passenger on this anonymous cyber-Greyhound Bus of Life.....
.... and a blissful little fellow I was, too.... merrily skipping along through cyberspace with my long, flowing locks of red hair (metaphorically speaking, of course) braided into exquisitely proportioned Auburn Pigtails of Innocence, Trust, and Happiness.... but ooooh, how things have changed in my nearly five years of blogging......
..... to what do I refer, you may be inquiring?...... how have my bared soul, my sharing of fears, and my imbibing of adult beverages at blogmeets thanked me for these five years of perseverance, fortitude, and occasional angst?....
.... I tell you, there truly is no justice in this world of ours...... sure, there was that whole chipmunk fiasco, but I could have sworn that he'd have forgiven me by now....... but to hit a man with zombies when he is least expecting it?..... well, that's just plain mean...... go over and tell him to quit it, please..... I frighten easily these days......
.... I'm off to field strip and clean my Bushmaster and sharpen my Cold Steel...... one can never be too prepared these days.....
A little bit of Kipling in reply to the story:
If your officer's dead and the sergeants look white,
Remember it's ruin to run from a fight:
So take open order, lie down, and sit tight,
And wait for supports like a soldier.
Wait, wait, wait like a soldier . . .
When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
An' go to your Gawd like a soldier.
Go, go, go like a soldier,
Go, go, go like a soldier,
Go, go, go like a soldier,
So-oldier of the Queen!
.... today at 2:47PM Eastern Standard Time, I assisted in the capture of a wily, quick & cunning woodland/forest/mountain/river creature.... and as of right now, I could not be more proud of me and my partners in crime.....
.... that's right, folks..... I, a man who is known far and wide for his non-fishing abilities, was instrumental in assisting Bou's Boys nab a 1-inch baby trout from the Tellico River while armed with only a plastic Glad container, three rambunctious (and steely-eyed Missile Men) boys, and a packet of peanut butter crackers.....
.... what a RUSH!....... Great White Hunters all, and that's a fact..... for it only took 89 attempts and ten dollars worth of crackers to finally lure a minnow to our awaiting bowl..... but the result of our persistent perseverance?...... the tossing of a few pebbles into the bowl for "habitat" purposes, poking at it with a dampened finger a few times, much "ooh"ing and "aahh"ing..... and then a quick return to the murky depths with hand-wringing and a splash.......
..... I tell you, folks, I've never worked so hard - and been so creative - for such a short-lived victory in all my born days!.....
.... but having said that?...... WE DID IT!.... and I'm in awe of all of Bou's younguns....... they worked like little Energizer Bunnies all day long building stone dams, flipping rocks over searching for crayfish, and chasing minnows in the shallows..... but in the end, WE DID IT!.......... it only took three years, but we finally did it....... we caught a minnow....... in a plastic Glad container......
..... Bou and her boys teach me something new about myself each and every time I take them to the mountains...... and today we caught a minnow..... and it rocked.....
You don't know 'bout them things call nets do you? Well, ok, other than internets. Hella cool time savers, but probably not as fun, as I can see you untanglin' said net several times...
LOL! I thought for sure I was going to have a fight on my hands about taking that minnow home. No way in hell was I going to let that happen, but after Mr. T set up 'the habitat', I just knew an argument was brewing. Thankfully we were spared!
My favorite quote of the day was, "I feel like Davey Crocket whenever y'all are around." That cracked me up. Oh and... "You've never seen one? Sure you have... when you see a rodeo..." I was like, 'WTF? We're city folk. We've never seen a rodeo!' Holy crap. That was funny.
Maybe I could help with that one. I'll give notice as to when the Star of Texas Rodeo is in town. Where better to see a rodeo than the capitol of the Lone Star State?
Life is a rodeo... You spend more time in the dirt than on the bull.
Never mind the fish. Put mom on so she can tell us embarrasing stories about you. It's a parent's duty. Like I did with all those corn storage cracks in NYC.
Great post SWG. Not earth shattering in the scheme of things to be sure but it's the little things mean the most. You have graduated to the position of MENTOR and that is a good place to be.
Thanks for posting this. Puts me in mind of my days as a lad when I'd visit Grandma's house. She lived almost literally a stones throw from the river, and the bridge that crossed over it.
Spent a lot of hours in the shallows, there, trying to grok the wonders of nature.
.... there has always existed a great, random, tragic, whacky equalizer in Blogdom....
..... always has been, always will be.....
..... you find something today that irritates you, you write about it, and then all of a sudden you find yourself with the bi-polar abstract raining down upon you from a thousand angles...... it is in The Nature of Bitching, actually..... it is somewhere buried deep in The Rule Book..... you complain, you get more and MORE of what you were complaining about....
......this salient fact is the very reason that I seldom bitch on my blog..... it just courts Bad Karma like a bloated corpse draws blowflies.......
.... that said, I have to admit that yesterday's flippant remark about my cats being too lazy to hunt has borne grizzly fruit today..... indeed, bloated & fly-encrusted corpses bracketed my humble home fore and aft when daylight dawned this morning.......
.... needless to say, it is quite frightening to see yellow jackets harvest protein while you have your breakfast.... it truly is....
.... and on the front stoop?..... a tiny, chewed, and spittle-dampened shrew that had definitely seen better days....... and on the deck (amidst a pile of peanuts - hey, ask the Missus) a juvenile rabbit with its throat torn out....... Bob was crouched, chewing, while I made the second pot of coffee this morning........
..... I swear, guys....... if each cat weighed twenty more pounds, I would definitely be on the menu....... thank God that I always carry a pistole and a sharp knife..... petting them is one thing...... but turning your back on them to water the garden is another feeling all together.......
...... but perhaps I am just projecting..... fortunes won and lots, and all that...... but I will tell you this..... sure, they have yet to take down a deer....... but one thing is for certain...... nothing is safe around here if it weighs less than thirty pounds....... nothing.....
That's one of the things I like about you, Eric. You understand cats. Not nasty, declawed, fat, indoor cats. But outdoor hunting cats. I'm hoping my kittens turn into brutal beasts like yours.
Cats can never be trusted. My Mother's tom (neutered) tabby got stopped up and seemed destined for the hereafter. She took him to the vet who give him something to unstop him (hair ball I believe). He also performed a check up and sadly revealed to my Mom that the cat had feline leukemia and had 3 to 6 months to live. Mom took him home and after he got unstopped, started feeding him all his favorite munchies to make his last days more enjoyable. That was THREE years ago and the only thing that's changed is that the beast is now 7 lbs. heavier from gluttony. Devious bast*rd.....
My kid has the cat well trained. When both were little my daughter lost a tooth and put it under her pillow. The cat killed a mouse and deposited at her door in tribute.
Since then my daughter has more interest in money than dead rodents. The cat hasn't coughed up the cash, though.
.... time ticks slowly sometimes, folks.... especially during these holiday-soaked, beer-fogged, frankfurter-gobbling, Hot Days of Summer..... it seems that all one ends up doing is eating, drinking, sweating, clapping at fireworks, and then sweating some more whilst waiting for blessed darkness to fall......
.... as for me, well, it is no small coincidence that I am a Libra...... Generous God, in all his forbearance, saw fit to see me hatched out as the leaves changed colors and a mood of general pleasantness flooded the world....... I am a child of frost and misty mornings....... but now, it is Summertime...... and add in a liberal dash of pure redheadedness and, well, a Great Friend of Summer I most certainly am not..... I'm a pastel and Autumn Breeze kind of fellow.... a kindred spirit of those hushed undertones that they talk about on those cheesy 2am make-up commercials.... Earth Colors, Gentle Air, and Calming Weather......
.... Eric the Red, I am, it seems...... either by natural selection or by sunburn, I am destined to be forever red.......
.... in other news, I spent a considerable amount of time watching the cats laze on the deck today.... two more relaxed beasts I have never beheld......... and as I watched them snooze, two deer walked by the birdfeeder in the backyard and sniffed at the nuts, seeds, etc that the birdfeeder held....... I tell you what, it is a sad state of affairs when a housecat is so well fed that it doesn't even rouse from its korma-induced lethargy to perk its ears up at a whitetail that's less than ten feet away.........
... that said, well, I can't complain too much..... I haven't exactly been burning up the proverbial track around here lately...... but hey, it IS Summer...... and I've been watering the lawn a lot....
.... I would, however, like to point you over to K-9's crib this evening...... he has been playing around with the old "100 Word Stories" and has hit a real dinger...... give him a look...... he had me at "simian eyes"....
Is there some kinda connection between watering the lawn and drinking lots-a beer? I always tell the wife those damn dogs are causing all the dead spots on the grass. As for the smell? I blame that on the cats.
Thanks for the directions to THE 100...good stuff!
Well, I suppose I should be glad that El decided to tag me with "Chip" rather than "Munk".
I have to say that the drabble format has made me rethink those lengthy stories from my youth. There are some who should be much pleased.
However the chipmunk/biker story episode stands. It's just a shame that I have to send Eric a plane ticket before I can tell it again.
..... I'm not really sure who instigated that dinner meet-up in Knoxville when I first met Winston, but I suspect that it was me.... I feel sure that he must have left some funny comment to one of my posts that prompted me to fire off an email saying, "ha!... next time you are within a hundred miles of Knoxville, give me a yell and I'll buy you a beer somewhere!"..... as it turns out, I ended up buying him a few glasses of red wine instead....
.... it's funny..... I remember him standing up to greet my Wife as we arrived.... he introduced himself, shook her hand and gave a little bow, looked over at me and said, "wow!... I expected you to be OLDER!"...... I laughed, sat down, and said, "that's ok, Winston.... I expected you to be YOUNGER!".....
..... we sat out on the patio of a nice little restaurant just off Kingston Pike.... he had a steak and I had some sort of Alfredo/parmesan pasta with shrimp..... we talked about The Vols (he'd come to watch a game the next day), Acidman, Elisson, Jimbo, and the rest of the gang.... we talked about the annual Helen Blogmeet, blogging, writing, his wife's Southern Literary Journal, his life, my life..... he was perhaps the easiest person to 'talk to' that I have ever met.... he had an ease about him that was charming and convivial.....
.... we talked and talked and told stories as we ate and drank... he even re-told the "Styrofoam Cup" story to us after dinner once the cocktails arrived.....
.... I remember that when the night was coming to a close and we sat replete as the Sun went down, he looked at me and said, "you know, age really doesn't matter when it comes to blogging..... when you read what someone writes, you get a feel for them.... and something instinctive kicks in.... age, politics, religion, they really don't matter.... and you just know that if you ever met that person, you'd have a great time... life is life - and there are more things that we have in common than things that make us different...... thanks for making the trip, you guys, I've had a lovely time.." ....
..... that's how I will always remember Winston, I suppose..... telling stories and watching the sunset.... his eyes twinkling when he got to the best bit of a tale.... his gravely voice and salt & pepper hair... how he seemed to enjoy everything that surrounded him - from the filet on his plate to the autumn pre-game air.... he was the kind of man that it was a true pleasure to be around....
... Winston Rand, folks..... HE WAS A PRETTY GOOD GUY..... and he will definitely be missed.....
I knew him mostly from the comments he would leave you and from visiting his site a few times...I'm sorry I didn't get to know him better. He sounds like he was a helluva good guy. It was such a touching tribute you wrote.
.... times, places, people, things, moods, sounds, smells, tastes....... these are the things that our lives are made of, folks....... and this is beautiful.....
..... there is nothing quite like reclining beside a lazy riverbank and having yourself measured by an inchworm.......
.... my ancient Egyptian figurines are seriously letting me down..... all three of them are sitting here staring at me..... and not ONE of them is offering a SPECK of creative thought..... it's pretty dire.....
.... Horus is particularly disappointing.... I always had such high hopes for him....... Sekhmet?... she was always a bit hit-or-miss, really..... and truthfully, well, I never held out much hope for the scarab beetle.... but Horus?.... I thought for sure he'd be one helluva go-to guy.... so much for renewal, I guess...... it is more than a little disappointing......
..... in other news, an old pal of mine dropped by this afternoon for a few games of billiards and a tuna sandwich.... and I am happy to report that I held the table well..... and in spite of him being a fairly accomplished shootist, I managed to only concede two games out of seven........(unlike a few days ago when I played ole Big Stupid Tommy and beat him like a rented mule.... sorry, Tommy, but 0-8 is just rough..... feel free to come over any time!...) ....
..... anyway, I'm off to rummage for something to eat for dinner..... it's quarter til 7 and I am hungry!....
Hell raised by jihadgene on June 21, 2008 11:17 AM
.... I do, of course....... but only a bit..... I love Tommy to death..... but hey, once the game is on, the Game is ON....... surely the Koreans, both North AND South know that maxim, yes?.....
You need to start carrying those figurines around with you, to alla them exotic places you visit. Like Knoxville. And Kneith-am-Glenladthbuich. Take pictures. Then post 'em.
.... oh, and in spite of me having culled the 'herd', there is another damnable squirrel on the birdfeeder this morning..... but hey, at least I don't have the same trouble as this intrepid fellow..... you rock, JT.... hit'em once for me......
My two favorite subjects African Geography and squirrels! Yes, not just any squirrel, but rather squirrels who have mousetraps stuck to their little heads and are gettin' the crap smashed out of 'em with a board, and all the while the wife is asking, "Did you get it"? ROFLMAO!!!
JG
Hell raised by JihadGene on June 11, 2008 04:59 PM
Remember Heracles and his labors? One on which was to slay the many-headed dragon, the Hydra. Which he set out to do only to discover that when he lopped off one head, two would grow back in it's place. You may have embarked on the squirrel version of that labor. Bump one squirrel another shows up. Bump it and another shows up, then another, then two, then three and soon you're fast burning out the barrel of your Ruger.
You may have opened up a can of worms here Pard. Lay in more ammo and hope for the best.
I noticed that as well, and during such a big political season, too. Maybe the dude just needs a time out, as we all do from time to time. Blogging could be rough, and I have to hand it to the political bloggers...they are a thick-skinned bunch.
Last I read, he was working his tail off so I suspect that he just overlooked the expiring domain and will reappear once life settles down a bit again. Hope he's well, tho.
..... as I tended to my flowerbeds and preened the garden path to the patio today, I did so with a heavy and aching heart..... I tugged at weeds with a furrowed brow.... I daubed the sweat on my freckled forehead with the crushed heart of a wake attendee.....
.... why so glum when surrounded by the Wonder of Nature and bathed in the sweet, sticky fragrance of the climbing honeysuckle?...
.... well, I read of Winston's shattered dreams this morning before venturing out with my pesticides and weed killers......
.... so go now, gentle rubberneckers.... go now and offer your cheery thoughts to that brave, talented man... I too once aspired to goat counting as a profession...... so I know that his pain is real...... and it is at times like these, that we must all demonstrate to Our Fellow Man that we have hearts filled with sympathy.....
I feel his pain. My Daddy always told me that I should try to make my living with my head..but no matter how hard I searched I could never find employment as a hat modal..
Ya know... you two could go into the Goat Counting bidnez together and have most of the state covered. Kill two dreams with one stone... or, something like that.
Thank you, kind brother, for the ornery mention and the pointer to my goat pen. It brings a tear to my eyes and a goat teat to my mouth just knowing there is another on the planet who has shared my goat enumeration fantasies.
Ever drink goat milk? As good or better than the bovine variety. And they say, better for you. Of course, I s'pose that depends on what they've been chewing on. Those damned horny beasts will eat damn near anything.
Goat counting? Sounds like some kinda IRS Agent joke GUYK would tell! Personally, I am gonna open my own inflatable line of sheep, complete with thong and see-thru Burkas! I figure to do well in the Tehran and Damascus areas. Hell, REDNECK has seven of them back-ordered for his own "personal use". JG
..... nothing tonight, children...... been doing laundry, snacking heavily, writing, and daydreaming.......
.... but feel free to chew on this one for a while in lieu of other content....... I'll be back tomorrow with photos, videos, and tall, tall tales from the latest Scotland trip.....
..... vintage, folks..... vintage.....
... more tomorrow!... the stroganoff is almost done!....
...hmmm... there doesn't seem to be anybody home... nothing on but a couple of nite-lights... nobody been 'round here for at least a couple of days... guess that 'splains the bird poop all over the chairs on the back deck... wonder if this key from under the doormat... yeah, i'm in...
...hmmm... doesn't look like they left in a hurry so it must have been a planned thing... that or the missus is a cleanup freak... the type that feels compelled to clean house before the house keeper arrives... she impressed me as neat and clean, but not to that extreme... oh, well... oh, several bottles sitting out on the kitchen table... and a few used glasses... [sniff sniff]... hmmm... scotch, maybe a single malt...
...uh oh... somebody in the next room... [hiding behind the fridge] [peeking out] ... damn, there's a weird guy with a ... wtf? ... a colander on his head... and he's talking to somebody on his cell phone... sombody named betterman? no, bitterman... yelling at him now something about No, I ain't your damn pal so quit saying that...
...he hung up now and is heading off to another room, so i best be outta here while i can get out the back and sneak off into the woods... but i've seen enough here that interests me... be back when the coast is clear...
..... good afternoon, gentle reader..... I hope that you are well....as for me, well, I'm just peachy...... and hey, that reminds me, I'm actually going to have peaches this year.... I'm stoked.....
... last spring I planted a little peach tree at the edge of the patio between two dogwoods..... the lady in the garden section of Lowes said that it would "look nice" with pretty pink blooms each spring.... and being in a rather delicate frame of mind at the time, I imagined that having a tree blossoming in pink set betwixt a bunch of white dogwoods would be just the springtime ticket.... so, as you do, I bought that baby and planted it the same day.... little did I know that peach trees and dogwoods bloom a month apart... (... I know that now, but hey, it's all good..) .... and what's more, I had NO IDEA that it would produce fruit after just one year!.... hot damn, I am excited... that little trooper is only four feet tall and it already has about twenty five little peaches about the size of acorns dotted all over it.....
.... and the grapevine I planted two years ago?..... oh yeah..... for the past two years it has steadily crawled across the railings of the deck near the steps...... I checked it yesterday and it is dripping with tiny little clusters of soon-to-be-grapes..... so I'm going to have peaches AND grapes this summer.... I can hardly wait....
.... I've always wanted to laze on my deck in the shade, find myself suddenly a bit peckish, and simply lean back, pick something off of a vine/tree/bush and slake my appetite in the most slothful way that I possibly could...... and this year, ladies and gentlemen, that hedonistic wish is just about to come true.....
.... anyhoo, speaking of hedonism, I'm off shortly - as in on Tuesday of next week - for my annual trip to Scotland to visit the in-laws at The World's Smallest Hilton.... as such, I shall be out of pocket until mid-month..... yeah, yeah, yeah.... I know that y'all are going to miss me terribly... but hey, I promise to come back with lots of stories about eating fancy sausages, photographing sheep, and sipping delicious adult beverages in the shadow of The Cairngorms... and probably at least one story about rain, fog, wind, etc.....
.... but yeah, since I will be offline, I hope to blackmail, bribe, coax a few bloggers into dropping by to post once in a while...... hell, I'd certainly hate to have you guys bored......
I loved my time in Scotland and would go back in a heartbeat. The Piper posted a photo today that I took while while in Aberdeen http://foodndrink.blogspot.com/ I hope you have a great time, but I will miss your posts.
Oh how I loves me some fresh peaches right off the old peach vine. er... uh... tree. Hope you have a plan to keep your aforementioned boids out of the peaches and grapes. They will play havoc wid dem.
Safe trip, agreeable weather, good health, cooperative sheep, easy hangovers...
You startin' another Tennessee distillery/vineyard/airport/haircare/nursery and tire center down there?
Grape Wine and Peach brandy... Rock on! Have a safe and enjoyable trip hoss. I've heard of and had Georgia peaches, are Tennessee peaches just as good, or is that a BCS/SEC thing?
"Peaches come from a can they were put there by a man
In a factory downtown
If I had my little way I'd eat peaches everyday
Sun soakin bulges in the shade"
Thanks for sticking that in my head, dude. See ya on the morn...
... I'm continually amazed at how quickly the world spins by..... it seems like just yesterday I sat here and peered out into the woods outside the blogroom and marveled at the blooms, naked trunks, and scaly bark..... and now?..... it is completely green.... almost overnight, the trees have sprouted leaves...... even the sunflowers that The Missus planted a few days ago are already three inches tall..... one of them even has the 'shell' of the seed from which it sprung clinging to one of its leaves...... amazing.... that shell is gripping that green little leaf like there is no tomorrow......
.... in other news, I was playing around with some dialogue today and stumbled up on something that I found incredibly interesting..... around here, in the foothills of Appalachia, I often hear people use the word "hit" instead of "it" when speaking..... I had always just assumed that it was merely a product of the basic hillbilly accent..... but as I was digging through the dictionary today, I happened upon this little nugget from Webster.com..... check this out....
"Our Living Language : "I told Anse it likely won't be no need." This quotation from William Faulkner's As I Lay Dying demonstrates a use of it that occurs in some vernacular varieties of American speech. It is used instead of Standard English there when there functions as a so-called existential—that is, when there indicates the mere existence of something rather than a physical location, as in It was nothing I could do. Existential it is hardly a recent innovation—it appears in Middle English; in Elizabethan English, as in Marlowe's Edward II: "Cousin, it is no dealing with him now"; and in modern American literature as well. Although most British and American varieties no longer have this historical feature, it still occurs in some Southern-based dialects and in African American Vernacular English. Use of existential it may actually be increasing in some places, such as Smith Island, Maryland, a historically isolated community. While older Smith Islanders sometimes use existential it rather than there, younger islanders almost always do. · In some American vernacular dialects, particularly in the South (including the Appalachian and Ozark mountains), speakers may pronounce it as hit in stressed positions, especially at the beginning of a sentence, as in Hit's cold out here! This pronunciation is called a relic dialect feature because it represents the retention of an older English form. In fact, hit is the original form of the third person singular neuter pronoun and thus can be traced to the beginnings of the Old English period (c. 449-1100). Early in the history of English, speakers began to drop the h from hit, particularly in unaccented positions, as in I saw it yesterday. Gradually, h also came to be lost in accented positions, although hit persisted in socially prestigious speech well into the Elizabethan period. Some relatively isolated dialects in Great Britain and the United States have retained h, since linguistic innovations such as the dropping of h are often slow to reach isolated areas. But even in such places, h tends to be retained only in accented words. Thus, we might hear Hit's the one I want side by side with I took it back to the store. Nowadays, hit is fading even in the most isolated dialect communities and occurs primarily among older speakers. · This loss of h reflects a longstanding tendency among speakers of English to omit h's in unaccented words, particularly pronouns, such as 'er and 'im for her and him, as in I told 'er to meet me outside. This kind of h-loss is widespread in casual speech today, even though it is not reflected in spelling."
... emphasis mine, of course, but wow!..... all this time I have assumed that my Grandparents were just speaking with an accent..... but actually, it is just an ancient (and correct) form of English......
Have you noticed that "human" is being pronounced more like "uman" these days? And what about "herb"? It used to be herb, then it became erb, and now it's back to herb. What's up with that? Can't we just leave those "H's" alone?! *Heavy sigh...*
Hell raised by DogsDontPurr on April 26, 2008 09:58 PM
Now I can't wait for the next opportunity to tell someone that he/she is full of sit.
Hell raised by Jim - PRS on April 27, 2008 12:58 AM
Heck, with all the influence the Scots had in settling the area, I reckon this is just another sign of their frugal nature. Don't throw anything away as hit might be useful someday.
The study of linguistics is very interesting. I like the way the Okies drop their L's as in "I tode you it's code here."
In NM, my Hispanic students no longer spoke Spanish, but their language was full of oddities that they could not explain like: "Get down from the bus" or "Get off the car" (instead of out) or my favorite, "What day are we today?" Meaning what day is it.
My brother once let a streetwalker hop in his car. When he realized how nasty she was, she must have sensed his unease, because she said "Don't worry. Hit's clain." Faulkner wudda been proud. Hell, Anse Bundren wudda been proud.
Hell raised by Velociman on April 29, 2008 07:25 PM
...... not a whole lot going on around here this evening...... I spent most of the day reading, writing, and committing horrible acts of genocide against the various fire ant mounds out back while the lawn pixies mowed my yard.......
..... so since I have been so otherwise withheld today, I will take my leave and find comfier climbs than may be found here at the computer desk..... the patio is beckoning...... having said that, though, I can point you in the direction of a few interesting folks who definitely have things going on..... for instance:...
.... Sugar Britches has backslid.... and it is a beautiful, beautiful thing....
.... Boudicca gave me a splitting headache....... FIRST thing this morning....
.... Oom Keesie thinks I'm slothful..... hey, brother, I ain't slothful...... I'm just misunderstood...... I assure you that I am quite vigorous.....
..... The Piper is polishing his poetic side to a fairly bright luster...... brighter than usual, actually.....
.... Elisson has returned safe and sound from Nippon.... AND he has photos of himself in some odd silk dress and with matching waistcoat.....
.... and The Bitterman has an interesting post about 'being Southern' that definitely strikes a chord...... yes, sir, it surely does.......
..... there, see?..... plenty of lovely reading for y'all to do without me having to turn the proverbial finger!...... slothful, indeed...... humbug!....
..... so, with that, I'm off to sip a lovely 28 year old Dalmore and hold down the patio furniture......
... peace be upon you all..... oh, and before I forget.... hey, thanks for all the corn information you guys provided in the previous post...... I ate very well last night thanks to y'all.......
That, my Reubenesque friend, is not an "odd silk dress...with matching waistcoat." It is a yukata, the ubiquitous Japanese cotton bathrobe, paired with a haori jacket for extra warmth.
People actually wear these things out on the street, especially in hot spring resort towns. Damn comfortable, as long as you wrap it up securely to prevent Wedding Tackle Exposure.
I made the honor role! Hell, I ain't been this proud since i made straight A's back in sixth grade...course i dropped out after that, i figgerd...best go out winners.
.... another day winding down...... and it has been a very good day...... I'm off to sit on the patio and treat myself to a gin and tonic.......
..... and hey, hammock weather has finally arrived..... and brothers & sisters, it has been sorely missed..... of course, this lovely weather has arrived on purpose..... nothing ever happens without some sort of Divine Good/Evil purpose around here..... indeed, Mother Nature is just teasing us with this 80-degree weather.... she knows that in a week or so we'll be knee-deep in the sub-Arctic Scottish springtime..... so yeah, she definitely likes to play her jokes...... and come to think of it, nobody ever brings anything small into a bar around here, either......
.... for the uninitiated, I stole that last line..... 'Harvey'was on yesterday and I re-watched it..... what a great, great movie..... and I quote:
Harvey and I sit in the bars... have a drink or two... play the juke box. And soon the faces of all the other people they turn toward mine and they smile. And they're saying, "We don't know your name, mister, but you're a very nice fella." Harvey and I warm ourselves in all these golden moments. We've entered as strangers - soon we have friends. And they come over... and they sit with us... and they drink with us... and they talk to us. They tell about the big terrible things they've done and the big wonderful things they'll do. Their hopes, and their regrets, and their loves, and their hates. All very large, because nobody ever brings anything small into a bar. And then I introduce them to Harvey... and he's bigger and grander than anything they offer me. And when they leave, they leave impressed. The same people seldom come back; but that's envy, my dear. There's a little bit of envy in the best of us.
Elwood P. Dowd, 1950
.... kinda reminds me of blogging..... no?
... by the way, anyone know how long you're supposed to boil corn-on-the-cob before it is ready to eat?......
I prefer my corn on the cob steamed. I do it in a yok. Yes..a wok. Lay a couple of chop sticks across the inside to form a platform and lay the ears on top. Pour in about a cup of water, turn the heat to high, and put on the lid. When the steam starts puffing up around the lid, it's done. Doesn't take long. Maybe five minutes. I wouldn't boil it any longer than that either.
Bring the water to a boil, with a few tablespoons of sugar in the water. Add corn. Boil for 1-10 minutes, depending on how soft you like it. We do ten minutes here on the farm (old teeth, ya know). Eat.
WOK your COB own-ree about 5 minutes! Wokking it any longer should be considered self-abuse! No over-cook cob either! If cob over-cooks make good fuel for wockets maybe, or just gives it to those pesky in-raws (in-laws).
Ruv Yoo Looong Time!
Great corn-eater Reader
KIM Jong IL DPRK 90210
Hell raised by JihadGene on April 24, 2008 10:48 PM
I once stopped on the side of the highway to snag a few ears after procuring Isleton, California's version of crawfish. Figured I'd have myself a big ole boil. Needless to say Wifey was petrified I was buying consumables out of a bait tank in dink town in the SF Bay Delta.
Boiled the crap outta those big yellow ears. Ate them, too. Never mentioned the fact to Wifey that it never even got close to tender....cuz the god damn shit was a hybrid livestock feed.
You live and you learn......
Hell raised by bitterman on April 24, 2008 11:14 PM
Sub-Arctic - pffff, it's warm and sunny here today....
You can't go wrong on the corn - all of the above comments are good advice - try smearing the corn with a butter/chilipowder mixture and squeezing a lime on it for a Mexican twang.
Speaking of Mexican, I drank a margarita last night to chill out, but a gin and tonic with a twist of lime sure sounds good too.
Hey, If I can do Scotland in the month of January, you can handle the temps in May. I just wish I could have seen the flowers blooming.
Hose each down pretty good with butter flavored Pam, or you can smear them with real butter if you want, but real butter will scorch faster.
Strip off enough aluminum foil to wrap real tight; individually, that is.
Sprinkle to taste with any number of canned Cajun concoctions, Like Tony Chachere's or one of the Chef Paul things, or with your own mix of garlic powder, onion powder, dry mustard, cayenne, salt, and black pepper. Sometimes I just hit them with salt and black pepper and leave it at that.
Wrap in foil and roast in a medium hot oven for about an hour, turning two or three times. You can do the same on a medium gas grill, but just turn more frequently.
Hell raised by bitterman on April 25, 2008 11:00 AM
I don't what kind of tough corn you southern folks grow, but up in the great white north our corn is so heavenly we boil 3 minutes top.
Add a little butter after and it's like eating a little piece of heaven.
Hell raised by Quality Weenie on April 25, 2008 12:37 PM
Our Staple food.
1) Boil when bubbling for minimum 5 minutes and add your condiments to taste at minute 3.
Taste a sample.
Mirowave at low for as long as you like to get the right softness.
This even works for the cow feeds corn.
It is "Mielie" actualy, here corn is the stuff that waves in the wind and you make bread from.
But I am not a Great White Chef, am I?
Hell raised by kesskennis on April 25, 2008 03:30 PM
I could boil corn all day to make my Hubby happy - and he would still want it to be cooked a little more. ;)
Hell raised by Richmond on April 25, 2008 03:54 PM
I just boil it until it is soft..
But I prefer to microwave it. I shuck the ear down to the last shuck and leave it and the silk...wrap the ear in a wet paper towel and nuke it on high for a couple of minutes..always turns out pretty good..does a job on the worms though..
.... The Missus has requested bbq'd pulled pork sandwiches and my garlic baked beans for dinner tonight..... and since I have been a complete slacker today and not posted, I figure that it is just about time to start mining the archives.... hey, content is content, yes?.... besides, I've got to go and cook dinner..... so here's one from late-January 2006..... (and yes, I wish that I were at the blogmeet in New Jersey instead of standing around here stirring beans..... ) .... I hope that you enjoy.....
... last night was spent tossing and turning... two distinct dreams woke me in the early hours... around five, the most erotic dream of my quiet, simple little life was experienced... mercy sakes.... I nearly had a damn heart attack.... I drank some water and had a cigarette as one does, and then returned to sleep...
... the second dream was more confusing... it involved an old barn that my Great Uncle owned... an ancient and weather-worn structure... bleached gray from years of enduring all-weathers, it stood at the edge of his tobacco patch beside a stand of hardwoods...it was tall and had a stone foundation... each end was open as to allow tractors pulling wagons to enter or exit from either side...
.... many was the day that I rode on the back of a tractor laden with thousands of pounds of freshly cut tobacco.. late August usually... hot sun and dust... hands caked with the sticky dried tobacco juice...
... once in the barn, all of us workers would take our places... climbing higher and higher into the rafters of the barn... stopping at our allocated places and balancing ourselves on the beams.... Then the tobacco would start moving... the man on the wagon would take a runner full of stalks and pass it to the first man... then up and up until the runner reached the top man... on and on this would be repeated until the barn was slowly filled - from top to bottom - with an entire field full of tobacco...
... the top man was probably fifty feet off the ground... I was always one rung below him... see, the higher you were, the less work you had to do... and as I was very young and the Top Man was very old, we took positions higher up.. lots of times I would hear his head thump the tin roof as he tried to straighten himself or swat a wasp... I'd laugh and he'd cuss... which ended up making me laugh even harder... (I wasn't old enough yet to be allowed to cuss)....
... anyway, the point of all this is to get to the dream... after all, if I could afford therapy, I surely wouldn't be writing and telling these stories to YOU people.... so, on to the dream...
... the guys on the wagon were acting up... they seemed to think that the Top Man and I were having it too easy... not pulling our weight, so to speak... but unknown to them, he and I had a problem...
... now, here are the mechanics of the situation... all of us, as we fill up our rows, are slowly backing up all the time... legs spread wide with our feet balancing on a old, slow-cured sapling that had been worn smooth by years and years of use... it was a precarious situation, to be sure.... but here is where it gets worse.... as we inched backwards, our backs were getting closer and closer to the other wall of the barn.... and it just so happened that a group of wasps had built their nest in the very top of the barn where the tin roof and wall met... the Top Man was backing up to the nest and he wasn't really too happy about it...
... so the guys down below are giving us grief... me and the Top Man were eyeball to eyeball with those wasps... the nest was a large one... about the size of a grapefruit... and it literally crawled with probably 150 red wasps...
... I asked the Top Man, since he had more experience, what we were going to do... he winked at me and said... "those fellers down on the wagon had better shet up... they're ˜bout to see why I'm REALLY the Top Man... but don't you worry about them bees, boy... we'll be just fine up here... "
.. I watched in amazement as he took off his battered John Deere baseball cap and gingerly turned himself around on the spindly rafters.... deftly holding on to the tin, he moved both feet to the same support, spun himself, and then balanced again facing the opposite direction... and in one movement, he cupped his baseball cap over the entire nest and squeezed it hard.... he pulled it away from where it was attached to the wall and then released it... as long as I live, I will never forget watching that cap fall... it was almost in slow-motion...
.... it was like watching Slim Pickens ride that A-bomb.. the cap dropping directly towards the wagon... the doe-eyed farmboys looking up at us and laughing....
... sheer pandemonium erupted when that cap hit the wagon.... grown men and boys leaped from the wagon as a cloud of pissed off wasps began swarming... hardened, tobacco-chewing workmen loped like schoolboys and screamed like girls...
... me and the Top Man... we watched it all as it happened... safely perched as chaos ensued...
... so here I sit this morning.. half a pot of coffee down me, and I still can't figure out why I dreamed of the Top Man... and I shudder to think of the wasps..
You've reminded me of the old men on the dairy farm who'd, with their work callused hands, grasp the wasp nest that terrified me, and laughing, gently squeeze it till not a single wasp survived......then cast it contemptuously to the ground while looking me in the eye........never at their hand.
Puttin' in tobacco is a pure shit load of fun, is it not? Especially when the person passin' the stick up to you messes with you a little bit and won't let loose of the stick. You pull up on that stick and damned near pull yourself down to the ground...
I watched a scrap in a tobacco barn one day between my cousin, and a hired hand over a 5$ bet on whether the human body was made up of 80% water.
We never could drain one to find out, but they still fought over the 5$...
My excuse for not being in New Jersey is I'm on call, holding down the fort. A dirty job, but someone's gotta do it. I've tried to con other bloggers into doing it, but no takers. Dang.
Red, I'd wager the human body is 80% water, but the brain is something else. In some cases it's over 90% poo. Not mentioning any Project Managers in particular, unless you know of some likely candidates.
.... no content tonight, hammerheads (or for the past week/month, actually)....... and I am terribly sorry....... been working on some other stuff instead....... but I will leave you guys & gals with the song that has been on repeat here at The Compound while I've worked...... I've found that Prine in the background allows me to be quite productive.......
..... and there is just something about fingerpicking that soothes the soul....... I posted it about a year ago, I think, but it still calms me...... so, enjoy..... or not.....
.... either way, tomorrow is the 14th anniversary of my being wed to The Missus...... so just prepare yourselves for photographs.... lots and lots of photographs........ 14 years, my goodness...... I was seven months away from turning 22 at the time we got hitched......... now I'm closing in on 36 with a vengeance........ how the time does fly......
Fourteen years. Wow. You got married... just a couple months before I got pregnant with my eldest. It was a life changing year, 1994. A very very good year.
.... long, long ago I was broken from the urge to "join" just about anything...... but having said that, this right here sounds like a pretty damn good idea.....
.... I was graced with a visit from The Blogson yesterday evening, and an enjoyable visit it was.... ole RSM stopped by for some pizza & drinks before continuing his northeasterly amble.... we dined on a Domino's Hawaiian Feast pizza with extra provolone.... and then sat on the couch, sipped a beautiful 28-year old Dalmore, and swapped a few hours worth of military tales.... all in all, not a bad way to spend a few hours..... excellent conversation and an extraordinary scotch...
..... as for today, well, I have a cauldron of my bolognaise sauce simmering away on the stove..... so this cool, gray day will be splashed with a giant dollop of yummy color this evening....
.... trust me, folks, gray days seem much less gray once you apply a proper spaghetti sauce to them.....
.... no, really.... you should try it some time and see.... then again, some sort of pie might work as well.....
I hope he was looking good and getting himself reoriented to "normal" now that he's out of OTS.
I'm glad to hear you guys spent some time hanging out. I like the thought of spaghetti sauce... hmmm... I think I must have some for dinner this week. Tomorrow and Thursday are supposed to be pretty yucky. Of course I am going to do pulled pork tomorrow. YUM.
Domino's and scotch. Now there's a combination.....
Hell raised by bitterman on March 18, 2008 03:57 PM
It just so happens I will be eating Roasted Leftover Chicken, Macaroni, and Tomato Sauce a la Aunt Beatty this evening once I get home...and as if it wasn't appealing enough, dump in a pinch of tomato sauce solidarity with a friend, and I am downright ravenous!
.... Hell hath frozen over, I'm afraid.... since I am about to do a dreaded meme.....
.... Elisson has tagged me - and since I am absolutely and completely without creative juices this afternoon, I'll play along..... here goes... according to Big E, here's the "drill"....
Here’s the drill:
Look up 15 of your favorite movies on IMDB.
Take a quote from each and post them for your readership to properly identify.
As your movie-savvy readers correctly identify the quotes’ cinematic origins in the comments, strike out the quotes and name the commenter who answered correctly.
If the commenter also identifies the name of the speaker (the character or the actor), he or she gets bonus points in the form of a link to his or her site.
Simple, huh?
OK, let’s see what kind of Movie Buff you are. Oh, and no fair using IMDB or other Internet-related sources. It’s more fun if you try to figure these out from memory:
..... here you go, rubberneckers...... guess away.....
1. "Trouble? Eh, what trouble" Robert Redford - "Jeremiah Johnson" ... reader Leelu
2. "I'm trying to be a gentleman here. Now, get on your knees, put your ass in the air, and don't move until I say to." "The Two Jakes" - Bou from Boudicca's Voice...
3. "Why, by God, girl, that's a Colt's Dragoon! You're no bigger than a corn nubbin, what're you doing with all this pistol?"True Grit - John Wayne as Rooster Cogburn - Snuggharbor
4. "My darling girl, when Ramses destroyed Syria, that was an accident. You are a catastrophe!" "The Mummy" - Sandy
5. "My dad wanted me to be a baseball player" "The Natural" - reader TBird....
6. "Jesus Palomino, a Nazi. I knew it, you're all in cahoots. Well let me tell you something, Mr. Heinie Kraut, I fought your kind in the great war, and we kicked the living shit out of you!" "1941" - Captain SQL!...
7. "I can't stand these things... it's like drinking coffee through a veil." "Charade" - Teresa of Technicalities...
8. "You don't like it, do you Rocco, the storm? Show it your gun, why don't you? If it doesn't stop, shoot it." "Key Largo" Jean from Beauvoir Glass....
9. "Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges. I don't have to show you any stinking badges." "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre" - Primordial Slack
10. "Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, "In this world, Elwood, you must be" - she always called me Elwood - "In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant." Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me." "Harvey"..... Beauvoir Glass....
11. "What the hell do you mean "cowardly blacks?" They died on your side, didn't they? And who the hell do you think is coming to wipe out your little command? The Grenadier Guards?" "Zulu" - Hoosierboy
12. "Then he showed those men of will what will really was." "The Usual Suspects" - Reader Tommy
13. "All your life you live so close to truth it becomes a permanent blur in the corner of your eye. And when something nudges it into outline, it's like being ambushed by a grotesque." "Rosencrantz And Gildenstern Are Dead" - The Bitterman from The Smoking Toaster...
14. "With a bit of a mind flip." "Rocky Horror Picture Show" - Eric from YouBitch!...
15. "Well, he should have armed himself if he's going to decorate his saloon with my friend." "The Unforgiven".... Joe, Mr. Beerbrains....
Can't believe nobody's gotten Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven. No. 15.
And I know Jean's got Harvey right.
There's a couple that I'm thinking on, but I can't figure out where they are from... most, I'm lost.
Hell raised by That 1 Guy on March 14, 2008 09:10 PM
Joan, that you did on #9 (though Blazing Saddles *did* a take off on that line.) ... I knew there was a "real" movie for it, but for the life of me couldn't remember what it was, so went with the Mel (When in doubt,always go with the Mel!).
..... you know, when seeking Truth, it is always best to first consult the Internet.... especially blogs..... even after more than four years of propping this beast of a website up every single day, I am still continually amazed by the wonders that I discover....
.... good god, ladies and gentlemen, I do so love the Internet...... and hey, I look pretty good in a kilt!....
.... (but for the record, I have really only worn a kilt once..... and was banned early the next morning from every wearing one again due to behavioral problems the night before....) .....
.... I let Sylvia stretch her legs yesterday and piloted her up to Knoxville to have dinner with a few local bloggers there.... and it was a very enjoyable evening that unfortunately ended too soon, but I am glad that I went..... it was nice to meet a few new bloggers AND to finally put faces with some names that I've read in cyberspace for years and years....... say what you will, but blogging is one helluva interesting social experiment.... and it is always surprising......
... blogging may be a time-wasting hobby, but blogmeets are never boring!.....
.... in other non-related news, I have just been informed that I am to spend the larger part of today loafing in and around the vicinity of Cleveland, Tennessee with The Missus.... evidently there is some sort of "Fresh Market" that has just opened up down there and it has been slated for an "exploratory visit" by our ever-vigilant recon team..... oh, and she wants to watch the latest Nicholas Cage vehicle at their cinema, too....
.... so, gentle rubberneckers, that is my Plan Of The Day.... peruse some fresh broccoli, pick up a salmon steak or two, and wallow in a juicy conspiracy theory movie while The Missus lusts silently for Mr. Cage.... hey, it could be worse, I guess..... I could have to sit through another Daniel Craig flick..... and really?.... I truly dig watching the clientele of high-priced fresh markets pick and choose their organically grown papayas..... it is a wonderfully grounding experience....... I just wish that it were warm enough to drop Sylvia's top for the ride..... but spring will be here soon!....
Nick Cage doesn't really do it for me, but I really did have fun with that movie. Its kind of an Indiana Jones genre and I love those action poking fun flicks.
(...and remember what Gunsmith Bob said about Nicolas Cage: "He couldn't act like he was on fire if you doused him in gasoline and tossed him a match. :D )
Good meetin' ya, Eric. We'll have to get together down your way sometime. My wife and I love Athens and Etowah and Madisonville and Cleveland.
Hell raised by Les Jones on January 19, 2008 07:10 PM
Hope the trip went well. We've got one of those Fresh Market stores here now -- all the rage. It is apparently very important for ones continued social rise to be seen there squeezing the shallots.
While searching for remedies for gout, I ran across this recipe for a totally disgusting veggie haggis. Though you or The Missus might be interested, particularly if you celebrate Robbie Burns day and night.
Hell raised by Winston on January 20, 2008 07:19 AM
Cool - blog meet fun and games.
I haven't seen any of the NT movies... hope you enjoyed it. :-)
Hell raised by Teresa on January 20, 2008 05:12 PM
I like ol' Nic' alright. I mean hell, if you can survive bein' on a plane with that many crazy folk... and feds... You're ahead of the game. Airborne whippin' ass right straight out of the bar... I dig it. Glad I wasn't in that fight.
Shit, I talk too much... switchin' keyboard back to lurker mode... You're welcome.
Hell raised by RedNeck on January 20, 2008 07:41 PM
Nick Cage's latest movie for Disney sucked. It was so damned contrived and hokey. I swear--- Disney can just about wreck anything these days. How could they fuck up a Nick Cage movie is beyond me.
Jealous about the Lightfoot. Take video, post it!
Hell raised by Sine.Qua.Non on January 21, 2008 10:33 PM
I wish I had not listened. It appears that will replace the earworm companion I've had for several day -- Raindrops (original by BJ Thomas from Butch Cassidy...), and already I'm thinking it was a bad tradeoff, other than just the change of pace, of course...
Hell raised by Winston on January 14, 2008 07:02 AM
A kickass tune...
And it sure beats "Friendship," by Cole Porter, as an earworm...
Hell raised by That 1 Guy on January 14, 2008 06:47 PM
You and Vman spendin' a bunch of time bondin' these days? I mean, comparin' barber stories... Heyzus Christe, did he shave his head? Did you?
Hell raised by RedNeck on January 14, 2008 07:53 PM
Now all you have to do is get a job so you can be like the rest of us. Then you, too, can go to work to earn the money to buy the food to get the strength to go to work to earn the money to buy the food to get the strength to go work to earn the money to buy the food to get the strength to go to...
Sounds like fun, huh?
Hell raised by zonker on January 16, 2008 01:48 PM
.... as strange as it sounds, my humble home will be the focus of my family's Christmas celebrations this season.... and due to scheduling conflicts, prior engagements, and working rotations among all of the participants, tonight has been deemed to be The Night.... gifts will be exchanged and a meal - cooked by my own hot little hands - will be wolfed down..... and I'll probably end up downing a few gin and tonics myself....... so that is today....
.... last night, however, I was roped into watching back-to-back Seinfeld episodes until time for beddie-bye.... of particular note were the "Festivus" episode and the one where Elaine sends out those Christmas cards where she was accidentally baring one of her nipples..... somehow I can't help but find the irony in "Christmas" being at my home on the annual date of "Festivus"....
.... and depending on how well dinner goes down, we may or may not end up having an "Airing of Grievances" ..... I did buy some kickass gifts for everyone, though, so that might keep them distracted from the quality of the roasted potatoes & grilled pork loin.... hey, getting lots of free stuff once a year tends to leave people distracted, so it might just work....
.... I will confess one little thing though - I had initially been tasked with roasting a turkey for Christmas dinner..... and I had one too.... a nice, big, fat hen..... the problem was that she was also frozen stiffer than a damn anvil..... I never knew that turkeys could freeze that hard, folks...... so my 12lbs of rock-hard turkey did not thaw out in the two days that I had allotted... thus the pork loin substitution at the last minute.....
.... so I have a question for Mr. Debonaire about the proper thawing of turkeys.....
... see, the label says that letting the frozen bird thaw at room temperature is strictly verbotten and will likely cause all of your holiday guests to die of some weird intestinal ailment before New Years ala Monty Python's "Meaning of Life"...... BUT keeping the damnable bird in the fridge to let it soften up takes aproximately 18 fucking months.....
.... and so the question is, what is the simplest way of thawing a frozen turkey in the shortest time possible?.... or do I just have to practice my Russian accent, open the fridge every so often, poke it with a trowel and pretend it's a Siberian mammoth?...... the label lied, Mr. Debonaire..... so what's the scoop?....
... oh, and Happy Festivus!.... no turkey tonight, friends..... we be eating high on the hog instead.... but that was not the plan....
Man, I'm having no freaking luck leaving messages on your blog for several days now. Getting all kind of strange messages and then my masterpiece comments never show up. Anyway... maybe this one will go...
The Merriest of Christmases to you and your Missus...
Hell raised by Winston on December 23, 2007 09:47 PM
Assuming the turkey is in plastic, the fastest way is to cover the turkey in cold water, changing the water every 30 minutes. It should thaw.
If you're up tonight, you can do it until you go to bed, and then throw it in the fridge. Get up in the morning and put it back in your sink and start again, turning the bird periodically.
My turkey is in the oven as we speak, but it spent 5 days in the refrigator getting to the "thawed" point. Even after all that time the innards were still icy, had to dig those suckers out resulting in a frost bitten hand from jamming them up the turkeys butt
Hell raised by Junebugg on December 23, 2007 11:34 PM
"...tonight has been deemed to be The Night..."
In that case, Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones. And remember, when in doubt, just face the music and dance.
Hell raised by Erica on December 24, 2007 06:28 AM
"...tonight has been deemed to be The Night..."
In that case, Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones. And remember, when in doubt, just face the music and dance.
Hell raised by Erica on December 24, 2007 06:28 AM
Mu.nu dooshbags, it doesn't take, then it decides to take twice. That's real mature.
Hell raised by Erica on December 24, 2007 06:30 AM
I'm gonna try this one more time...
Here's a hot tip you might want to try... or not...
Sit that big frozen bad boy on a layer of bricks. Peel the plastic wrapper from around his rear end. Light a propane torch and stick it up the bird's ass, going slowly and carefully lest you douse the 1700 degree flame. Once fully inside the body cavity, the whole operation should take about 5 minutes per kilo. Those who have been brave enough and stupid enough to try this on a live bird AND live to tell the story, have found that about 3 minutes per kilo will do the job.
If that polyethylene prophylactic starts to smoke, smolder, or melt, reduce torch tip temperature to 1500 and proceed with caution. If for some reason this one-step thaw and cook operation does not meet expectations and the bird turns out to be for shit, take the whole thing, torch and all, about 100 yards away from your house and bury it about 30 inches below ground level so the possums and raccoons can't scratch it up. Then cook a pork loin... or go to Shoneys...
Y'all have the Merriest of Christmases!
Hell raised by Winston on December 24, 2007 06:44 AM
Funny, I got to watchin the same episodes -- me and my son went lookin for an aluminum pole yestiddy, and he kept telling his mother and sister, "I got a lot of problems with you people!!"
I have the perfect solution to the frozen turkey dilemma.
Rib Roast.
Hell raised by wavemaker on December 24, 2007 10:34 AM
Merry Xmas to you and all of the Straight White Clan. Hope to catch up with you and Mrs SWG again before too long.
IMAO, that card with Elaine is appropriate for any holiday.
Hell raised by Cappy on December 24, 2007 05:02 PM
You could slip down to Georgia and get a bunch of that red clay. Make a ball of the turkey inside the red clay and then just bake the whole thing..be sure to salt and pepper the frozen bird first though. After it bakes until the clay is hard just bust it open with a ball peen hammer..scoop out that baked turkey..throw it away and serve the pork chops in your new baked clap bowls..
.... well, boys and girls, the tree is up and decorated..... but I had to put my foot down and drew the line at draping tinsel from ceiling fan to ceiling fan..... how weird was that idea?....