Brute.....

..... I spent the majority of the afternoon piloting The Missus' vehicle around the hinterlands of the surrounding counties, and all I can say is 'wow'......

.... lookit.... my Blanche is a sexy beast - for sure - but she is refined, delicate, and sensitive..... she's responsive, pert, lively, and powerful - but above all, she is sophisticated..... that's just Audi's nature....... and a topless Cabriolet with a 2 liter turbo is more than a handful....

.... I've been inside her when she has tamed Mustangs, passed Corvettes, and whipped around mountain curves that would make a Charger cringe...... she is what she is, and I love driving her...... she is GOOD at what she does......

.... but the car The Missus drives?...... good god...... 5 liter V-8, straight-shift Cadillac..... 400 horsepower of muscle.....

... she named him Cary - after Cary Grant - but he definitely isn't a Cary Grant type, if you ask me...... Grant equals Style in my mind, and her car?..... no.... he's angular, low-slung, muscular, and deeply, deeply angry.... kinda like Mickey Rourke after he'd slung off his 'Wild Orchid' aura and opted for the bloated, scarred, muscleman character in 'The Wrestler'......

... her car - a V Series Caddy - is visceral....

... it screams.... it moans.... it roars.... and it flings you from seat to shifter at every high-speed turn..... it bends you, twists you, and pins you to the seat like a amorous rhinoceros who has A Thing for a gazelle.... with cheap leather seats, plastic dashboard, rubberized buttons, it is almost as if it were designed to have its passengers puke from the g-forces it exerts...... it sits in the parking lot and idles with the menace of a growling linebacker.... just waiting for the cheerleader driver to assume the position behind the wheel........

... so, yeah...... I spent today behind the wheel of WAY too much car...... and I missed my poor Blanche horribly the entire time......

.... still, it was interesting to watch hammerheads snap cell phone pics of me while I waited at Cleveland traffic lights..... only to hear me double-clutch, grind, and jam Gary from 1st to 3rd to 5th in the most haphazard of ways....

.... six gears in a Cadillac are just too many........ at least for me.....

by Eric on October 19, 2010 | Bullshit (5) | TrackBack (0) | Ummm, Ok....
Bullshit So Far

So jealous... Kind of make you want to be a non-straight white guy. But, not really. I am sure Cary is much straighter. Anything with a V on it from GM is sick.

Bullshitted by Mark M on October 19, 2010 08:31 PM

Better make sure she's got a fire extinguisher in the trunk. I hear Caddies have a tendency to unexpectedly burst into flames...

Bullshitted by El Capitan on October 20, 2010 12:17 PM

Maybe Robert Mitchum in Cape Fear, eh?

Bullshitted by Elisson on October 20, 2010 12:22 PM

... yeah, it's definitely intimidating.....

Bullshitted by Eric on October 20, 2010 12:39 PM

Yes, but how many dead bodies can you fit in the trunk... (strictly speaking as a unit of measure, you understand...)

Bullshitted by Lemon Stand on October 24, 2010 08:51 PM