Water....

... so, I've been reading (and enjoying) this site called "Shit My Drill Instructor Said"..... and I swear, the memories that all Marine recruits share are hilarious.... well, hilarious NOW, of course... at the time?.... yeah, they probably weren't so funny.....

.. anyway, I was reminded today of a fellow in my platoon who had the most unfortunate name..... his name was Wannamaker.... and I believe that he was from Boston, if memory serves....

... I arrived at Parris Island at the very end of May 1990...... so, I was there all of June, July, and August - months that provide coastal South Carolina a taste of what the surface of the Sun is like when it is pissed..... most of the month of July was "black flagged", as I recall, and the heat was causing recruits to drop like flies..... as a result, our Drill Instructors made us drink a canteen of water every morning while standing on line, three canteens of water - one right after the other - after evening chow, and another canteen of water before bed.... it wasn't just a lesson in hydration, they also used the water as a "training tool"....

.... for instance, after evening chow when we were forced to drink our three canteens?.... everyone puked.... everyone.... hell, we'd just had a big dinner, cleaned our rifles, shit, showered, and shaved.... we each had two canteens that we'd been issued.... both full of water at all times..... it's simply a question of doing what you are told to do... no matter what the consequences...

..... after chugging both canteens down with a count out of "one!, two!, three!", we were all ready to heave.... and for those staunch souls who didn't puke just then, the order of "double-time to the head and fill those canteens!" would surely induce the vomiting..... it's hard to keep from puking when you're running after drinking that much liquid..... but, inevitably, some didn't..... so, the third canteen of water usually did the trick in convincing the stalwarts to puke as well.....

... I wrote here once about hitting my "Heavy" DI mid-chevrons with a lettuce & water laden stream of vomit, if y'all remember..... he was pacing by me from right to left as I finished my second canteen....

... anyway, this wasn't supposed to be a post about puke..... my ability to digress is increasing as of late, I guess....... but, no.... this post was supposed to be about Recruit Wannamaker.....

.... see, one of the side effects of drinking three quarts of water in two minutes before going to bed is, well, that you are going to need to have a tinkle before morning..... and a very, very serious tinkle it will be.....

.... the problem is, you see, that once lights are out, no recruit is allowed to go to the head... and indeed, it is the Fire Watch's duty to make SURE that you are all snug in your little beds until morning..... and it was under such circumstances that poor Wannamaker's name became the bane of his existence....

.... once we'd finished our vomitfest and field day'd the barracks, we were ordered to bed at attention.... and we lay that way for our protestant prayer, our catholic prayer, and our Rifleman's Prayer were all finished, and until told to "adjust"... after that, the lights went out and we were allowed to go to sleep.....

.... around three in the morning - nearly ever morning - I awoke with my bladder literally bursting at the seams.... I'd slowly raise my head and check where the Fire Watch was on his rounds, and when the time was right, I would slide off my top bunk and slink over to the wall..... we were garrisoned on the second floor of Kilo Company, 3rd Battalion's brick building..... I'd hide between the windows until the time was just right..... and then, drawing upon the ancient skills of my distant Cherokee ancestors, I would ease myself along the wall until I was three or four beds away from where MY rack was....

.... and over the course of three or four minutes - and depending on frequency of the Fire Watch's ploddings - I would stealthily piss out of the second story window every morning rather than risk the fury of a Drill Instructor for being caught in the head after lights-out....

.... hey, it worked for me.... and I always figured that if someone on the first floor caught a whiff of the smell, they'd blame the recruit four beds to my right anyway...... heh.....

... but alas, poor Wannamaker..... honestly, I don't know what his deal was.... either he was a very heavy sleeper, absolutely terrified of what the Drill Instructor might do to him if he were caught in the head, or just wasn't smart enough to think of peeing out the window, but every morning in July and most of August, he pissed himself while on line for the morning count-off..... I swear to god, every single morning...... just like clockwork, Wannamaker would piss himself....

..... I'm sure that the DI's EXPECTED us to overcome, adapt, and improvise.... that was the purpose of our training!.... me, I pissed out the window..... others snuck to the head and peed very, very quietly.... others?.... hell, I have no idea what they did, but they certainly must have done something!...... because it was only Wannamaker who gently pissed himself at attention each morning at 4:45......

.... after the second instance, he was called "Watermaker" for the rest of his time on the Island.....

.... this is all of no consequence, of course, just simply the wanderings of my mind after reading about "getting out of the rack and getting on line" today..... and yeah, we all had nicknames assigned to us by our Drill Instructors..... mine was "Diamond"...... maybe one day I'll tell that story as well.....

... but, god damn, at least my nickname wasn't Watermaker....... still, though, he graduated with the rest of us "orignals" from Platoon 3072..... we started off in May with 72 recruits.... and graduated in August with 41..... including 11 pick-ups..... my goodness, what a time.......