Begging.....

..... damn, but I am depressed..... anyone know any good jokes?...... preferably about Eskimos?.......

.... I wonder if grilling up three or four nice lamb chops might break the Saharan monotony that nature has been baking me with as of late.... then again, one normally would frown upon such foolish endeavors as manning a grill when the heat index is a hundred and nine.....

.... anyway, I'm off in search of a way to sear this lamb-flesh that doesn't involve me breaking a sweat...

... oh, and as for Leviathan, Athos, and Curly?.... they're still alive... and appear to be doing quite well in their tiny little tank..... after a week of feeding, they are no longer skittish when I approach their watery enclosure... in fact, they've actually learned to "beg" for food when I approach..... I stick my giant head down near their tank, and they instantly start nibbling at the surface, swimming down to plead with me with fishy little eyes, and then break for the surface again.... it is kinda cute in a surreal sort of way.....

.... anyway, I'm off...... I just heard the Missus clinking ice in a glass - and that can only mean one thing...... the Gin & tonic hour has arrived.....

by Eric on August 15, 2010 | Bullshit (6) | TrackBack (0) | Ummm, Ok....
Bullshit So Far

Those fish will eat you out of house and home. Worse, if you don't show up at feeding time, they'll CARP about it.

Bullshitted by Tbird on August 15, 2010 06:45 PM

Bones is BEGGING me for another fish. They want an Oscar. I said, remembering the very cool names you chose for your fish, "So, what will you name it?" and Bones said, fork in hand (we were at the supper table), "Oscar" ending with a fork punctuation my way. Of couse. God Forbid we be imaginative.

Bullshitted by Bou on August 15, 2010 09:22 PM

Well, it's not an Eskimo joke, exactly...

So there's this penguin driving from L.A. to Vegas in mid-August. The penguin gets out to Barstow and the A/C in his Caddy goes out. It's beastly hot, and being a penguin, he needs the A/C.

The penguin pulls into a mechanic's shop and asks the guy to take a look. It's just baking hot outside, so the penguin waddles over to the 7-11 for something cold.

The penguin buys an Eskimo Pie, and sits outside to eat it. It's so hot, the ice cream melts all over the penguin's feathers as he's eating. He gets through, and still covered in melted vanilla ice cream, waddles back to the mechanic's.

The mechanic meets him outside. "Well, now, Mr. Penguin," the mechanic says, "It looks like you blew a seal!"

"Oh, no!" the blushing penguin replied. "That's just ice cream!"

Bullshitted by El Capitan on August 16, 2010 02:55 PM

..... Tbird, your "carping" is just about right.....

...and Bou, no matter what they may name them, there is no BAD name for a goldfish........ unless it is Eric, of course..... then that is a bad name......

... El Cap?..... man, I hadn't heard that joke in years, yet I HAD heard it....... you should consider yourself ashamed..... seals all over the world are reading this comment thread and collectively clutching their testicles........

Bullshitted by Eric on August 16, 2010 08:16 PM

Aw, crap - Cap beat me to it. Gaaaah.

***

But hark - a sound is stealing on my ear -
A soft and silvery sound - I know it well.
Its tinkling tells me that a time is near
Precious to me - it is the Dinner Bell.
O blessèd Bell! Thou bringest beef and beer
Thou bringest good things more than tongue may tell.
Seared is, of course, my heart - but unsubdued
Is, and shall be, my appetite for food.

I go. Untaught and feeble is my pen
But on one statement I may safely venture:
That few of our most highly gifted men
Have more appreciation of the trencher.
I go. One pound of British beef, and then
What Mr. Swiveller called " a modest quencher";
That home-returning, I may "soothly say,"
"Fate cannot touch me: I have dined today."

- C. S. Calverley

Bullshitted by Elisson on August 16, 2010 09:26 PM

Two Eskimos, sitting in a kayak, were very chilly. To keep warm, they lit a fire in the craft, but it sank. They should have known. You can`t have your kayak and heat it too.

I'm sorry....

Bullshitted by Mark on August 18, 2010 03:47 PM