Dallas......

.... back when I was a little boy, I remember being given a Roger Staubach action figure as a Christmas present... I remember it for two reasons...... number one, he had just been the quarterback who had won the Super Bowl...... and number two, because it had elbows....... and up until that time, all of the toy figures that I had been given (Chewbacca, Hans Solo, Luke Skywaler) had only shoulders and hips..... but Roger?..... he had shoulders, hips, elbows, AND knees......

..... of course, I immediately broke off his forearms and shins, but hey, kids are kids....... (I was a Philly Eagles fan then.)......

.... but next came the fully articulated GI Joes'......remember those?....... and hell, even their necks swiveled....... all the more easy to rip their goggled heads off, eh?....... Cobra, GI Joe?... it didn't matter as they were equally as easy to rip apart........

.... and now?..... now we have first-person PC based shoot'em up's, WII maulers, and PS2 bloodbaths....... and groups and Mom's cry foul....... and I certainly see where they are coming from.......

..... it's odd, I suppose..... but violence is a necessary part of our existence, isn't it?.... what little boy didn't own a bb-gun when they were growing up?...... what child did not watch Gregory Peck, John Wayne, or Steve McQueen and think, "that is US....... we're not the ones getting shot!...... we're the hero!"........ but violence is a part of us.... it is in our veins, our genes....... we were BORN to mix it up...... BORN to it, I say........

.... but that's right, folks.. bb-guns started all that!........ and our parents should be so ashamed!........

...... heh..... calm yourselves.... I was just kidding....... our parents have nothing to be ashamed of........ good god, we were all just being normal little kids and playing with our bb guns and watching John Wayne on the TV....... what's the harm in that?.........

...... absolutely nothing....... but, what is it about our youngest that causes such a rise?..... what is it about our own little mini-me's acting just as WE did that causes us to catch our breath so in these days?....... why are video games suddenly the Great Evil of Childhood?.......

... especially when everyone knows that it is The Great Evil That Is Facebook that is coaxing up the Anti-Christ.......

... right?....

.... but for the record, I never actually ripped the head off of Roger Stauback's action figure....... although Mean Joe Green's met an untimely end on more than one occasion........hell, he was just plain scary....

..... fuck a bunch of Pittsburgh Steelers......even if you're twelve.......

by Eric on February 11, 2010 | Bullshit (8) | TrackBack (0) | Ummm, Ok....
Bullshit So Far

I know parents who refused to let their kids play with any kind of toy gun. So the kids picked up sticks and pretended to shoot each other. My life was ruined by Barbie dolls - my body was and never will be like theirs...pffftt! Did you know that the first GI Joe dolls were the same size as a Barbie doll and had bendable parts. I'm tellin' you that Barbie and Joe had some good times.

Bullshitted by Lou on February 12, 2010 07:51 AM

Steve McQueen was and always will be *the man* in my book

Bullshitted by BloodSpite on February 12, 2010 09:22 AM

I just bought the complete "wanted dead or alive" series. Steve was the best anti-hero.
I still wanna grow up to be steve mcqueen and shoot bad guys with a sawed off Winchester.

Bullshitted by K-nine on February 12, 2010 09:35 AM

I used my Barbies as "guns". Mother was horrified, but dad thought it was a hoot!

Bullshitted by jw on February 12, 2010 10:29 AM

I spent my allowance at the Big K one summer weekend on a model of the USS Oriskany. Boy did Momma ever bitch about that investment....

Anyway, it took me two weeks to finish it. I even was halfway successful at applying some finish work to the tiny little blow molded airplanes that I glued to its decks in neat little squadrons.

Showed it to all my friend with pride.

Then I put some driveway gravel in it through an elevator hole to ballast it, glued a few green army men to the deck, harnesses a big ass crawdad to the bow hopefully for propulsion (ok maybe I didn't think that part out too well), then stuffed an lit m80 in it.

I think it got a total of about 3 three off the bank of that farm pond before it went up in a shower of water and gray plastic.

Bullshitted by Andy on February 12, 2010 12:21 PM

I knew this woman at one point who was totally anti-gun. No boy toys in HER house. Her son was not exposed to those vile things!

Her son grew up, joined the Army and became a Ranger. Thinking of this always makes me laugh.

Bullshitted by Teresa on February 12, 2010 04:15 PM

Mean Joe totally deserved that. Friggin' Steelers...

Bullshitted by Cappy on February 12, 2010 05:58 PM

I was really hoping Teresa would tell that story, because it cracks me up too and I tell it to people all the time. She told me that a few years ago.

I do a lot of quilting. One of my sons took my quilting scraps and taped them together making some machine gun. Can you think of anything more benign than quilting?

I quit fighting it, not that I fought it much anyway. Boys like to play 'kill the enemy' from Army to Cops and Robbers to Cowboys and Indians. It's just the way it is.

Girl Moms might shudder over what happens in this house with three boys. It's all in a day for me...

Bullshitted by Bou on February 12, 2010 09:11 PM