Closet.....

.... much of this morning and afternoon has been spent attempting to clean out the closet here in the manroom/blogroom..... and so far, I sadly report, the operation has been a complete and utter failure... the resulting piles of junk have overwhelmed me..... and I now have to climb over a mountain of climbing, hunting, camping, and military stuff just to reach the safety of the blogroom chair........

..... it's absolutely amazing how much I managed to cram into that poor little closet..... and now all the crap that was heaped in the closet is scattered all over the couch, desk, and floor.... I have no idea what tangent that Tsunami of Optimism swung in on this morning, but it picked a poor target in little ole me.....

.... I mean, honestly, why do I even OWN a three-piece, sniper's ghillie suit?....

.... so..... apart from the old uniforms, hangers full of hunting clothes, boxes of cigars, baseball gloves, an old lava lamp, boxes of ammunition, a tree stand, backpacks, sleeping bags, headlamps & flashlights, thermarests, stoves, cooking utensils, a compass, ropes, first aid kits, boots, boxes of photographs, and my old collection of Playboys, I found three CASES of MREs & two cases of bottled water....

.... if I included the contents of the gunsafe in the garage?..... the AR-15, 30-30, .280, .44 magnum rifle, .22 magnum rifle, .22 rifle, the combat .12 ga, the pump .12 ga, and the two single-shot .12 ga?..... and that's not counting the handguns........ I'm figuring that I could easily outfit a full squad of rubberneckers - armed, ammo'd, camouflaged, fed, watered, and fairly well-equipped for a five day combat mission.....

... good god.... it is insane that I have this much stuff.... next October during the blogmeet here, I think I'll ceremonially hand out a set of cammies to everyone who shows up...... that'd make an interesting photo-op, I think.....

.... now I just have to start trying to organize all this crap and get it put back away...... I'm thinking a gin & tonic is in order.....

by Eric on January 29, 2009 | Bullshit (13) | TrackBack (0) | Psycho Rants
Bullshit So Far

I'll take any extra .357...and the Lava Lamp.

Bullshitted by Sam on January 29, 2009 07:31 PM

Surely you know that closets are like the TARDIS on Dr. Who. They live in a different dimension. The most amazing thing about them is not the amount of stuff you get out when "cleaning"...

No indeed. The truly amazing thing is, once you've culled the unwanted items and disposed of them, then returned the things you want to keep to their respective places... the closet is just as full as it was before you started.

It's a phenomenon I have often noted and have absolutely no way to explain.

Bullshitted by Teresa on January 29, 2009 07:57 PM

I've still got the ballistic vest they issued me in the NPS back in the 90s because I don't have a ghillie suit. Better hang on to that one. Never know when it'll come in handy.....

Bullshitted by Andy on January 29, 2009 10:26 PM

Hi,

In my opinion, Closets can help us a lot. People Especially womens like to have a closet. And we can organize the things well with these closets. Thanks for sharing.

- Rachel.

Bullshitted by Closet on January 29, 2009 11:57 PM

Dibs on the ghillie suit! I think I'd look goddamned fetching in that unit.

Bullshitted by Jim - PRS on January 30, 2009 04:42 AM

How's bout handing out lava lamps and vintage Playboys?

Bullshitted by Cappy on January 30, 2009 04:12 PM

What, with the pages all stuck together? No thanks.

It's amazing. Take alla that crap out of the closet. Then try to put it all back in. You won't be able to.

Bullshitted by Elisson on January 30, 2009 04:54 PM

I found that when my closet was full the best thing was to build a 16' X 32' tool and storage building complete with full length 5' deep porch for sitting upon........it's full...my closet is full and my blogspace is crammed full... and there is no room to sit on the porch.
I'm convinced someone is feeding this junk fertility pills and is multiplying like jackrabbits.
I could take a few of the MRE's off your hands however. I'll store them in the back seat of the Dodge Ram.

Bullshitted by kdzu on January 30, 2009 04:56 PM

Hmmm, I've got a week's holiday in October - and it's been a while since I wore camouflage - or fired a gun for that matter....

Bullshitted by Mark on January 30, 2009 05:06 PM

.... I mean, honestly, why do I even OWN a three-piece, sniper's ghillie suit?....

Because you might need it??? Sheesh - I hate to be obvious... ;) And only *you* could be dapper in a tux and a ghillie suit in the same evening...

Bullshitted by Richmond on January 31, 2009 12:08 AM

I'm thinking Jimbo won't blend whilst walking in NJ in a ghillie suit.

If he has dibs on it, I call dibs on at least trying it on. I want to be able to say, 'I tried on a ghillie suit'! I bet none of the other Moms at our school can say that!

Bullshitted by Bou on January 31, 2009 12:08 AM

Yo, Bou,

I have a splendid idea.

You wear the ghillie suit and I'll wear the pith helmet while carrying a lava lamp, and we'll show up at the Sleep Inn registration desk together and ask for the honeymoon suite.

We'll tell them we returned from Hawaii early just to see the annual "draher faher."

Bullshitted by Jim - PRS on January 31, 2009 03:03 AM

Jimbo- BWAHAHAHA! YES!

Bullshitted by Bou on January 31, 2009 10:49 PM