Boitdays

Since he's not gonna mention it, I figured I'd sneak in and warn everyone....today is the Straight White Gingerkid's birthday. I'm sure somewhere there's a poem for the occasion but that's better left for some of the more literary guest posters. Or better yet...how 'bout leaving some birthday poems in the comment section? Bet he'd like that. We're getting a late start here so there's no real deadline. Go for it, hammerheads...

by Thunderman on October 14, 2008 | Bullshit (36) | TrackBack (0)
Bullshit So Far

Eric's birthday comes exactly ten days after mine...but by a strange coincidence, today is also my birthday - by the Jewish calendar, anyway.

This poem always comes to mind when the annual Trip-Around-the-Suniversary comes up, and I am all too happy to share it...yet again.

Time Marches On
or
It Sure Beats the Alternative

It’s hell, they say, when you get old.
Your toenails all are caked with mold,
Or maybe other kinds of fungus.
It’s hard to breathe with ancient lungus.
All bloodshot are your rheumy eyes,
All weak and stringy are your thighs.
Your pancreas is stiff and sore,
And buttocks droop towards the floor.
With exercise, your muscles ache,
It feels like all your bones will break.
You day by day get soft and flabby,
Your disposition loutish, crabby.
Digestion, once a simple task,
Becomes a chore (and please, don’t ask.)
Shoulder joints all get bursitis.
Your bladder wakes you up at nightis.
Your backbone gives you many pains.
Increasingly sieve-like grow your brains,
Until you cannot keep in mind
that “this is your elbow, that’s your behind”:
Getting old, it is not kind.

But whene’er these thoughts go thro’ my head,
I think: “It sure beats being dead.”

Bullshitted by Elisson on October 14, 2008 03:44 PM

Sitting on my porch...
Maytag repairman watches...
Learns from the Master...

Bullshitted by zonker on October 14, 2008 04:26 PM

.... you guys are killin' me.....

Bullshitted by Eric on October 14, 2008 04:41 PM

Hey! Happy Birthday!

Bullshitted by Bou on October 14, 2008 04:52 PM

A Yiddish gehbuertstug wish: May the Blue Faygeleh of Happiness drop so much mazel on your head!

Mit a sach lieb (with lots of love),

E


Bullshitted by Erica on October 14, 2008 05:18 PM

So my lad tis your birthday
I ask you now what more could I say?
Only that the future finds you hale & hearty
To sip fine scotch & continue to PARTY!

One more orbit around the sun for you dude.
Congrats.


Bullshitted by Tbird on October 14, 2008 05:30 PM

Teardrops fall like rain
dripping down a spider web...
Too long without naan.


Bullshitted by zonker on October 14, 2008 06:34 PM

Happy Birthday. May you have stunning sunsets and wondrous dawns...

Bullshitted by Holder on October 14, 2008 06:42 PM

heh...apparently, Zonk and Eric have a language all their own, just for each other.

Happy, Happy Birthday, SWG!
Wishing you a conga line of many more full of boom-lacka-lacka-lacka ;-)

Bullshitted by Jean on October 14, 2008 07:02 PM

Happy Birthday Eric,

I've one sister who had a head full of coppery red hair. When people would ask where she got the red hair she'd always reply, "The Milkman".

Of course our dad ran a dairy farm. And we're Irish on both sides of the bloodline.

So an Irish prayer for you.

May the sun always shine upon your face, the wind be always at your back, the road rise up gently to meet your feet, and your cup be always filled with Poitin........ or if you insist some of that damnable Scotch you're always braggin' on.

Bullshitted by kdzu on October 14, 2008 07:30 PM

hot dogs, hot dogs two by two
two for me and two for you. . .

Best I've got. Happy birthday!

Bullshitted by oddybobo on October 14, 2008 07:46 PM

Gray squirrels frolic...
There will be blood...just not now...
First, nap...then killing...

Bullshitted by zonker on October 14, 2008 08:05 PM

I think of you as my almost youngest son as my other 3 are older...

happy birthday big guy...

Bullshitted by jerry on October 14, 2008 08:09 PM

May your glass never be empty, and your cheese platter never bare.
Happy birthday, whippersnapper!

Bullshitted by LeeAnn on October 14, 2008 08:10 PM

vain introspection
about bothersome new pains
birthdays and bunions

Bullshitted by Joan of Argghh! on October 14, 2008 08:22 PM

.... thank you, Bou..... I hope to have many, many more!....

.... Erica, you are a gem..... thanks.....

... Tbird, as usual, you are a poet in your own right....

.... Zonker?.... quit reminding me of my lack of naan.... that is mean.....

... Holder, hey..... you were missed in Helen!...... and thank you for your kind wishes.....

... Jean, hey, if you ONLY knew......

... Kdzu..... well, there is no such thing as bad Scotch....... you need to come to a blogmeet to see what I'm talking about!...

.... Oddy, thank you...... hotdogs are so underrated as a snack food...... and I do so LOVE me some hotdogs....

..... Jerry, thanks...... I hope to see you again soon!...

... LeeAnn, I wish you were coming down in two weeks!..... thanks for your well-wishes...

... but Joan?.... bunions?...... that just ain't right!.... although I will plead guilty to the "vain introspection" thing.......

Bullshitted by Eric on October 14, 2008 08:48 PM

Happy Birthday! Here's to many more! : )

Bullshitted by Sharon on October 14, 2008 08:52 PM

Happy Birthday Eric!! :)

::leaves a pith helmet with a bow on it::

Bullshitted by Richmond on October 14, 2008 09:11 PM

Roses are red,
Happy Boitday to you.
As Sinatra would say,
Dooby dooby dooby doo.

Bullshitted by Jim - PRS on October 14, 2008 09:31 PM

Eric,
Good grief. You're still not 40 yet are you? How were you born with such an old soul?

Here's to you. Live long and prosper, in a slow southern kinda way.

Bullshitted by Jerry on October 14, 2008 10:16 PM

Let me know when you pass 40. You aint got no bark on you yet. Life's got a few more twists and turns to deal your young ass just yet. Happy Birthday anyway. And good luck to the Orange Den of Iniquity against Miss State; not that they'll need it or nothing.

Bullshitted by bitterman on October 14, 2008 11:24 PM

your lack of naan... man i discovered my love of naan and curry in japan and let me ... tell you finding curry in eastern north carolina is more then a challenge... happy birthday... and in less then a month it's our birthday all over again... damn i need to get some hash marks sewed on now...

Bullshitted by oakleytexas on October 14, 2008 11:36 PM

Straight white guy kilted
Scotch Whiskey chills in glasses
Another year turns.

Bullshitted by Maeve on October 15, 2008 01:36 AM

One of the few class acts on the web gets another year older.

Bullshitted by James Old Guy on October 15, 2008 06:16 AM

Happy Birthday! Glad you liked the card.

Bullshitted by Lou on October 15, 2008 08:15 AM

There once was a guy who was straight.
He put mushrooms in all that he ate.
One night he tucked in,
to his tonic and gin.
And shiitaked all over his plate.

...ran outta steam there ate the end.

Happy Birthday

Bullshitted by Sugar Britches on October 15, 2008 09:25 AM

happy birthday!

Bullshitted by caltechgirl on October 15, 2008 10:27 AM

I sought out a birthday gift
from Fitch & Abercrombie;
Your spirits I sought to lift
With a cashmere knitted zombie!

Alas the purveyors of undead
had failed to timely ship,
The severed and rotting head
with "Happy Birthday" on its lip!

Bullshitted by El Capitan on October 15, 2008 10:30 AM

Happy Birthday! I don't have a poem but I do remember a card my brother got one year that cracked me up - inside it said

"may the bluebird of happiness fly up your nose"

:)

Bullshitted by Carmen on October 15, 2008 02:11 PM

~Belated Birthday Wishes~

Bullshitted by h on October 15, 2008 06:22 PM

But Eric! Do your really to give up my artistic license of alliteration for the sake of reality?

Bullshitted by Joan of Argghh! on October 15, 2008 08:15 PM

Well...that's it...i'm drinking to your health tonite!

A Glayva for me...a Glenmorangie for you...

Co` latha breith sona dhuibh!

Bullshitted by Jay- the friendly neighborhood piper on October 15, 2008 08:29 PM

Happy belated birthday!!!

Bullshitted by kelly on October 16, 2008 06:36 AM

Happy Belated Birthday Eric :)

Bullshitted by Lisa W. on October 16, 2008 06:20 PM

A full fall day late
a whole birthday poem short
such is Straight White fate.

Bullshitted by g on October 16, 2008 06:52 PM

There was an old man that blogged
His voice got croaky like a frog
because he is an Eric
he'll just have to bare it...

ok, not the best poem and it is late... happiest of birthdays...

Bullshitted by vw bug on October 16, 2008 07:10 PM