Blogdom.....

.... there has always existed a great, random, tragic, whacky equalizer in Blogdom....

..... always has been, always will be.....

..... you find something today that irritates you, you write about it, and then all of a sudden you find yourself with the bi-polar abstract raining down upon you from a thousand angles...... it is in The Nature of Bitching, actually..... it is somewhere buried deep in The Rule Book..... you complain, you get more and MORE of what you were complaining about....

......this salient fact is the very reason that I seldom bitch on my blog..... it just courts Bad Karma like a bloated corpse draws blowflies.......

.... that said, I have to admit that yesterday's flippant remark about my cats being too lazy to hunt has borne grizzly fruit today..... indeed, bloated & fly-encrusted corpses bracketed my humble home fore and aft when daylight dawned this morning.......

.... needless to say, it is quite frightening to see yellow jackets harvest protein while you have your breakfast.... it truly is....

.... and on the front stoop?..... a tiny, chewed, and spittle-dampened shrew that had definitely seen better days....... and on the deck (amidst a pile of peanuts - hey, ask the Missus) a juvenile rabbit with its throat torn out....... Bob was crouched, chewing, while I made the second pot of coffee this morning........

..... I swear, guys....... if each cat weighed twenty more pounds, I would definitely be on the menu....... thank God that I always carry a pistole and a sharp knife..... petting them is one thing...... but turning your back on them to water the garden is another feeling all together.......

...... but perhaps I am just projecting..... fortunes won and lots, and all that...... but I will tell you this..... sure, they have yet to take down a deer....... but one thing is for certain...... nothing is safe around here if it weighs less than thirty pounds....... nothing.....

..... damn, I need a vacation.......

by Eric on July 08, 2008 | Bullshit (11) | TrackBack (0) | Blogging
Bullshit So Far

That's one of the things I like about you, Eric. You understand cats. Not nasty, declawed, fat, indoor cats. But outdoor hunting cats. I'm hoping my kittens turn into brutal beasts like yours.

Bullshitted by Jerry on July 9, 2008 12:11 AM

Mmmmm...blowflies.

Bullshitted by Elisson on July 9, 2008 05:46 AM

Vacation sounds like one hell of a good idea...

Bullshitted by Richmond on July 9, 2008 01:18 PM

... cheers, Jerry... you're a pretty good feller yourself....

... what was it that SWMBO says about bunching flies, Elisson?....

... amen, Richmond....

Bullshitted by Eric on July 9, 2008 03:10 PM

Cats. When your looking at 'em, pettin' em or feeding them they treat you like Jesus...and when you turn your back they turn into Judas.

Bullshitted by Peter on July 9, 2008 03:21 PM

My boy dragged a cat back to the house a while ago. 6 toes on both front feet. A freak of nature I reckon.

It don't kill shit. d-Con does though.

Bullshitted by RedNeck on July 10, 2008 04:05 PM

Yeah, cats are Karma-agents.

When I had a cat, I'd ask it out loud what it was good for; never killed a mouse, etc. Next morning, on the doorstep, a dead mouse.

They just know, man.

Bullshitted by Joan of Argghh! on July 10, 2008 04:34 PM

Cats can never be trusted. My Mother's tom (neutered) tabby got stopped up and seemed destined for the hereafter. She took him to the vet who give him something to unstop him (hair ball I believe). He also performed a check up and sadly revealed to my Mom that the cat had feline leukemia and had 3 to 6 months to live. Mom took him home and after he got unstopped, started feeding him all his favorite munchies to make his last days more enjoyable. That was THREE years ago and the only thing that's changed is that the beast is now 7 lbs. heavier from gluttony. Devious bast*rd.....

Bullshitted by Tbird on July 10, 2008 05:32 PM

My kid has the cat well trained. When both were little my daughter lost a tooth and put it under her pillow. The cat killed a mouse and deposited at her door in tribute.

Since then my daughter has more interest in money than dead rodents. The cat hasn't coughed up the cash, though.

Bullshitted by Cappy on July 10, 2008 07:03 PM

..... damn, I need a vacation.......

Bitching if I ever heard it......

Just sayin' is all.

Bullshitted by bitterman on July 10, 2008 07:12 PM

Cats never forget that they're predators.

Bullshitted by Nancy on July 11, 2008 11:26 PM