Buffet...

I related a story over at my place this afternoon, one that cried out for the SWG treatment...

...we were buying a few odds and ends up at Harry's, the local high-end farmers' market, when the Mistress of Sarcasm called my attention to a woman who was in the midst of committing an Antisocial Act...

...she had seen many a springtime come and go, this woman...well past her prime, you could say...stringy grey hair framing a face with a wan, yogurt-like complexion...an off-kilter look in the eyes, which were shielded by a pair of oversize welder's glasses...at first glance you would think "hmmm...something doesn't quite add up...a few olives short of a martini, this one..."

...the Antisocial Act to which I refer was no less than a gross violation of the Social Compact, rubberneckers...

...at the various and sundry prepared food stations scattered throughout the store, she would take a spoonful by way of camouflage...then she'd dive in to the trough with her fingers, grabbing the morsels and pressing them unto her cracked and stained lips...a quick lick of the fingers, then back for more...it was a revolting spectacle...

...I began to wonder. Was this a routine activity? A lifestyle choice? Was the woman hungry and penniless?

No matter. Dipping into the Public Food Trough with one's fingers is not merely nekulturny, it is downright unsanitary....and this woman looked like she and Personal Hygiene were not exactly on a nodding acquaintance...

...I called bullshit on her, rubberneckers, like a good citizen...by rights, I should have had her hauled off to the pokey as a public health hazard, but I am sometimes too kind-hearted for my own good...

...had I been the SWG hizzownself, I would have been tempted to show her my Cold Steel...lucky for her, he is still away, enjoying the mellow whisky and unctuous smoked salmon of the Highlands...and luckier for her, she was not dipping into the Indian Buffet...

...woe be unto her that fucks with Ericís chicken korma...he'd take his weapon and deforma...

by Elisson on May 13, 2008 | Bullshit (2) | TrackBack (0) | Psycho Rants
Bullshit So Far

... verily

Bullshitted by Jim - PRS on May 14, 2008 01:00 AM

Gag!!!! I think I've seen this gal way down here in Deeeeeeep South Texas... she must get around.

Good blog, found you surfing!

Bullshitted by GM Roper on May 14, 2008 07:42 AM