Bark Like a Chicken

So I was bored and getting ready for bed when I posted the rant below at my site. Then it hit me. "Eric's out of town and I haven't posted any manboobs pictures in quite some time!"

Rather than damage any further his degraded image I decided to just cross-post the following from Shadowscope...

So I check and whaddayaknow, my keys still work! Even more amazing than that is the fact that I still had my password saved since I damn sure can't remember it. I know I am an uninvited guest this time but I never let that stop the party crashing.

Having my blood drawn seems to have turned into a full-blown goatfuck ordeal over the last few years.

The last few times I have gone they have had to stick me several times and after four or five times digging around in my arm with a needle they take it out of my hand. Shit, they can stick one right in a vein and no blood comes out.

Guess I am actually dead and just don't know it...

Anyway, I made sure to drink a big glass of water prior to going to bed last night and then drank two or three more when I got up this morning so that I wouldn't be dehydrated when they went to poke me.

Fuck all, it still took three times. Here's this woman digging around my fucking arm with a big old needle saying "tell me if it hurts". Shit, unless you rip something loose I'm not saying a damn thing, just get the blood.

She finally stuck one in the top of my hand and it came right out.

Either I need to go in and just slash away with my pocket knife to help them out or start drinking water like a week before hand. My arm is still sore where she jammed the gottdamned needle into my arm.

All to get my cholesterol checked so my Doc can renew my prescription next month. What a damned dog and pony show.

....

So I am still fighting the smoking. I cut down to almost nothing and finally quit for a couple of weeks and then started having one or two here and there. I have had a pretty hard month at work. Not an excuse but I guess working 17 days straight kicked my ass because I have purchased cigarettes twice.

Haven't had one in two days now and it sucks quitting again because I am going through the same damned withdrawals I went through last month. Doh!

I am starting to seriously consider getting hypnotized but I am afraid that I will come out of there barking like a chicken or whatnot...

by Shadowscope on May 09, 2008 | Bullshit (5) | TrackBack (0) | Psycho Rants
Bullshit So Far

I always try real hard to bleed easily for the nice nurse, so she doesn't have to go get Gerald. He's a 300 lb. defensive lineman looking dude that has a reputation of being able to get blood out of a friggin' turnip, which looks like a beet when Gerald is done with it.

Smoking: Try acupuncture. You''ll forget that smokes exist. And you won't bark like a chicken.

Bullshitted by Winston on May 10, 2008 06:26 AM

yeah...that ain't very cool...unless you ARE a chicken, then...it can be pretty effective.

Bullshitted by Jay- the friendly neighborhood piper on May 10, 2008 09:23 AM

Reverend Jeremiah Wright Jr on hypnosis-

Your chickens will come home to roost barkin' like a bunch of GAWD-DAMN Dalmations!!!

Bullshitted by JihadGene on May 10, 2008 01:11 PM

Huh... I seen it all now. A real life Zombie postin' on Eric's blodge... ;)

Bullshitted by RedNeck on May 12, 2008 04:25 PM

Who cut one in here?

Bullshitted by Cappy on May 12, 2008 06:23 PM