.... you know, as much as I groused and groaned prior to last night's concert, it actually was a wonderful, wonderful show..... The Mystique that is Tom Jones is a treasure to behold & it is a piece of history- whether you are a fan or not.... and at 67 years old, he jumped, slid, wiggled, winked, sang, and sniffed panties like I can only wish to be able to do once I hit 67.... in short, the man is a Force....

.... he crooned to us all with equal abandon.... elderly, middle-aged, and the few younger folks who were there..... and by the time he came on for his encore, every seat in The Tennessee Theatre was empty as each of us stood, clapped, and screamed like rabid, lust-laden cheerleaders for a well-hung quarterback... (with the exception of myself and a few other husbands, of course.... we merely stood politely - grinning at the sheer magnetism of The Man - and clapped our hands)..... I saw one 60-ish man mouth the words, "you magnificent, cheesy, wild-dancin' Welsh bastard... thank you!.... I am SO getting laid tonight.." ....

... hey, I'll be the first to admit that I was completely blown away by watching how the crowd reacted as Mr. Jones performed.... it was like nothing I have ever seen, folks... you had grown women nearly fainting when he sang "She's A Lady".... you had 3,000 people screaming "WHY, WHY, WHY, DELILAH?" because those were the only lyrics they knew.... you had women with a walking stick in one hand & their panties in their other teetering slowly towards the stage and attempting to do dance like Tom..... and yes, yes.... there were lots and lots of panties.... black thongs, little white cotton bikini ones, and even a pair of granny-panties that you could have built a tent out of..... to him though, it really didn't matter all that much.....

.... but see, therein lies The Great Key Of Tom Jones, rubberneckers...... trust me, I watched it unfold all night long, and it truly was a thing of beauty.... AND it is why Tom Jones is still packing theatres after 40+ years in The Business..... his message is so wonderful in its simplicity that it is perfect beyond words....... in short, "love me and I will love you back..... want me and I will want you"...... those simple ideas are so seldom truly and wholeheartedly felt, but he gives that to his audience..... isn't that theme one of the greatest desires of everyone on the planet?.......

..... actually I digress a bit, that previous bit is only half-true.... his message isn't trying to convey 'love', really..... what he's really saying is a much more boiled-down version of that general concept..... basically, "if you want to have sex with me, I will make sure that you believe before this night is over that I want to have sex with you regardless of what you look like, smell like, how much you weigh, how old you are, or even if your husband wants to watch.." .... and hey, to pull something like that off?.... well, he's one helluva presence when he gets on stage.....

.... he closed his three-song encore with a Prince song called "Kiss"..... I've written here before about witnessing the magical effect that song had on people, but watching Jones sing it took it to a whole new level..... somewhere deeply embedded in the song are lyrics to this effect..... check it out....

You don't have to be beautiful to turn me on I just need your body, baby, from dusk till dawn You don't need experience to turn me out You just leave it all up to me, I'm gonna show you what it's all about

You don't have to be rich to be my girl
You don't have to be cool to rule my world
Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with
I just want your extra time and your kiss

You got to not talk dirty, baby, if you wanna impress me
You can't be too flirty, mama, I know how to undress me, yeah
I want to be your fantasy, maybe you could be mine
You just leave it all up to me, and we could have a good time

.... gentle people, that song may have been co-written by Prince, but it was MADE for Tom Jones.....

..... I don't know what else to say about the concert other than if he visits your town, you should go and watch him...... his brass section was incredible.... and the rest of the band too, for that matter...... and regardless of the size of the venue, you will spend most of the show imagining that you are in Las Vegas..... it was a great night...... and while I am still not a fan, per se, I have a completely newfound respect for Mr. Tom Jones..... and may he continue to have panties lobbed in his general direction for the next fifty years........

by Eric on March 10, 2008 | Bullshit (16) | TrackBack (0) | Music
Bullshit So Far

Reading this post, and the lyrics to "Kiss" make me want to create the most powerful, awesome slingshot known to man so I can fling my undeez many hundreds and hundreds of miles to wherever Mr. Jones is right now. I am positively in a panting state of heat. Thank you, Eric (the assumedly un-pantyheaded).....thank you.

Bullshitted by Erica on March 10, 2008 06:26 PM

I just flung my drawers at the monitor.

Bullshitted by Jim - PRS on March 10, 2008 07:38 PM

I'm laughing. I knew you'd do a frickin' great write up on TJ. heh.

Bullshitted by Bou on March 10, 2008 08:04 PM

.... thank you, Erica... I am sure that he would appreciate them more than you know.....

... Jimbo, I am honored.... you know I love you, bro.....

... Bou, I swear, you should have been there.... it was amazing.....

Bullshitted by Eric on March 10, 2008 08:09 PM

Bah! Back in the day, we had to work to obtain panties, mostly by raiding neighboring girls dorms.

Bullshitted by Cappy on March 10, 2008 08:29 PM

I'm so sending this to Mama Vi....and then watching if he's anywhere near her in the future. That's a show she HAS to see......

Bullshitted by Tammi on March 10, 2008 10:24 PM

ROFLMAO - that sounds like it was hilarious. I remember watching him on television back when he had his show, sounds like nothing has changed at all. Good for him.

Bullshitted by Teresa on March 10, 2008 10:26 PM

I'll be checking his tour schedule.
Thanks for writing such a wonderful review!

Bullshitted by lolly on March 11, 2008 09:56 AM

He came through here on Valentine's Day. I bet the panties were flying like crazy.

Bullshitted by Tina on March 11, 2008 01:25 PM

LOL. Great write-up. I am certainly laughing, and I have shared this with all around me. This certainly added some humor to the day!

Bullshitted by Craig T. on March 11, 2008 02:47 PM

Tom has been getting other guys laid for years - that's a true gift! Glad you had a great time!! :)

Bullshitted by Richmond on March 11, 2008 04:37 PM

Man, If I threw my "panties" on the stage at a TJ show, he'd throw 'em back. Trust me on that one. He damned sure wouldn't be sniffin' 'em, and I'll bet you odds on that one.

I did see an interesting pair of panties in that "fish market" in Seatlle... on the front it said simply...

"It ain't gonna lick itself"...

I thought that was cute.

You been to the Dr. lately to check on your Peyote prescription?

Bullshitted by RedNeck on March 11, 2008 08:30 PM

You get to see Tom Jones. I get to see David Cassidy. Life is unfair. At least the David Cassidy show was free.

Bullshitted by Jerry on March 11, 2008 09:26 PM

Tom sure does have a handle on the ladies.
I have often wondered about the fact that when you are amorous with the Delilah song in the background the "I feel the knife in my hands" turns out to be not a knife, strange that.

Bullshitted by keeskennis on March 12, 2008 03:04 AM

Heh. My grandma loved Tom Jones, too. Delilah...her favorite choon.

Bullshitted by Elisson on March 12, 2008 03:11 PM

OMG! I knew it.... still I was in tears reading your recap.

The Man is simply amazing. We love him and he loves us back.

His concerts is something everyone should experience at least once in their life. Glad you got it.

Bullshitted by Ky Woman on March 14, 2008 09:21 PM