Fire.....

.... today provided me with a rather strange sensation - one that I had not felt since I spent two weeks deeply imbedded on the Indian subcontinent while attending a wedding ceremony about eight years ago..... and in short, it was a mixed blessing (the breakfast, not the wedding)....... but indeed, today afforded me the first opportunity to have chilies for breakfast while still safely cradled in the bland bosom of The Mighty Northern Hemisphere.......

.... yes, I know that first paragraph was weird, but hey, it is what it is......

.... anyway, one tends to imagine breakfast in The South as a festival of cholesterol..... which is good, obviously....... lip-smacking, mouth-watering, rind-chewing goodness........ for dead hog is the the chief ingredient in most morning meals...... but excruciating pain is never really considered part of the equation, right?.....

..... breakfast, after all, is the most wholesome of each of our meals (according to the FDA)...... but woe betide the adventurous man (or woman) who purchases the Southern Sonic breakfast feast...... really, in retrospect, the only things that were actually edible were the tater tots (which came as a side-order)......

..... and yet, there were Jalapenos...... great, giant, pulsing Jalapenos..... I ate it, sure, but I still don't truly get it...... the meaning, I mean.....

..... so, word up, folks..... never breakfast at Sonic..... sure, their coffee is wonderful - exotic, even..... and their commercials are gut-wrenchingly obnoxious, but their breakfast 'burrito' is absolutely toxic....... and trust me, it does not pay one (in the long run) to have so many Jalapenos mixed with anyone's breakfast......

.... but life, well, she is a cornucopia of lessons....

.... and it is absolutely amazing to me how many of these little life lessons that we forget so readily with each passing season....

..... it looks like at least SOME part of our bodies would hold some residual memory......

by Eric on February 19, 2008 | Bullshit (17) | TrackBack (0) | Ummm, Ok....
Bullshit So Far

Holy crap. Heh, no pun intended. This reminds me of your Dominoes? kickers post. The breakfast version. :)

Bullshitted by Bou on February 19, 2008 10:25 PM

A little colon blow to start the morning, eh?

Bullshitted by Jerry on February 20, 2008 01:55 AM

I basically don't do fast food, and especially Sonic. But it amazes and gags me that they all hype their Breakfast Burritos, or Hell Fire & Damnation Omelet on a Stick, or whatever. Is this phenomenon due to the millions of illegal alien Mexicans that have invaded us? With a working assumption that people actually purchase and consume that stuff, I can only conclude there are many sickos with cast iron assholes among us.

Bullshitted by Winston on February 20, 2008 06:35 AM

I much prefer habaneros for breakfast, or better yet just plain old hot sauce all over my eggs. I don't eat eggs that way all too much, but when I do, that breakfast gives me a whole new outlook of the upcoming day.

Bullshitted by Glenn b on February 20, 2008 08:22 AM

Not as young as you once were, huh? I know a couple Lance Corporals that eat Sonic almost every morning. Could you imagine standing in formation next to them after a breakfast of eggs and jalapenos?

Bullshitted by drc on February 20, 2008 09:37 AM

Ew. Sorry you suffered. "Breakfast" and "burrito" -- Two words that should NEVER have been put together, in my opinion.

Bullshitted by Freddie on February 20, 2008 01:01 PM

LIFE'S LESSONS THAT WE FORGET SO READILY:
Okay, we have just ONE more and then we'll go..

Bullshitted by Tbird on February 20, 2008 04:15 PM

Inevitably one finds one's self on that throne on which all men are equal and as the business is in progress, in the mind's eye one visualized the launch of a Saturn V. Lifting off the launch pad being trailed by that long flaming stream. One does not hear the roar so much as one feels it.

Bullshitted by Tbird on February 20, 2008 04:33 PM

Inevitably, one finds one's self on the throne on which all men are equal. As the business is in progress, the mind's eye visualizes the launch of a Saturn V rocket.
Slowly lifting off the pad trailed by that long, long flaming stream. One does not hear the roar so much as feels it.

Bullshitted by Tbird on February 20, 2008 04:39 PM

Oh good grief. Well, thanks for taking one for the team, so to speak. I will remember when next we visit Sonic. The trick will be to get my Hubby to listen...

Bullshitted by Richmond on February 20, 2008 04:55 PM

I don't even think we have Sonics in New York. The first time you ever wrote about one...or, rather, the first time I ever read about your writing about one...I don't think I even knew WTF you were talking about. Which is slightly odd since it came after I first met you, and lo, there is a Sonic directly across the street from the Sleep Inn. This merely means I need to open my eyes and examine my surroundings a little more closely.

PS: Mr. Munu Dooshbag Fluffy the Fartface thought he could outsmart me, but NOOOOOOOO...I saved my comment, and, as Fred Astaire once sang, "They can't take that away from me."

Bullshitted by Erica on February 20, 2008 05:20 PM

I don't even think we have Sonics in New York. The first time you ever wrote about one...or, rather, the first time I ever read about your writing about one...I don't think I even knew WTF you were talking about. Which is slightly odd since it came after I first met you, and lo, there is a Sonic directly across the street from the Sleep Inn. This merely means I need to open my eyes and examine my surroundings a little more closely.

PS: Mr. Munu Dooshbag Fluffy the Fartface thought he could outsmart me, but NOOOOOOOO...I saved my comment, and, as Fred Astaire once sang, "They can't take that away from me."

Bullshitted by Erica on February 20, 2008 05:20 PM

So, you are going to be sleeping alone tonight? Haha. And.....what is this Sonic you speak of? Fast food joint? or?

Bullshitted by upset waitress on February 20, 2008 05:31 PM

Jalapenos. Yep, they will stay with you all day and even sometimes into the night! But I sure do like 'em.

Bullshitted by GUYK on February 20, 2008 07:38 PM

Jalapenos AND caffeine AND cholesterol for breakfast? Lemme guess, they complete heaven and serve at least 4 kinds of pork with that?!?!? If I weren't atheist I'd think I'd died and gone to heaven!

Me = 1 cast-iron sumbitch, at least if my diet is any indication... :)

Bullshitted by G on February 20, 2008 09:36 PM

"cornucopia"...? dawg... I wouldn't know one of those if it jumped up and bit me in the ass. Shit man, what's next, Charles Barkley fame? When you gonna start droppin' "Plethoras" on us and playin' Croquet in a Bond suit tweenst the bird feeders at the tennis club?

I know you're just dyin' for that first deodorant commercial. I'd be too. If it can take the stink off of me, it's got to be good.

You have gone to the dark side Luke... Velocidark.

Bullshitted by RedNeck on February 21, 2008 11:05 PM

Oh, I wholly agree! I tried that burrito...once.

Bullshitted by Lolly on February 23, 2008 07:57 AM