Leotards......

.... I've just spent most of the evening reading from my "Gaming & Idling Miscellany" while Gershwin's tunes belted forth from the living room accompanied by gleeful peals of laughter.... "An American in Paris" and Gene Kelly have been the culprits, I'm afraid......

.... but you know, I've always liked ole Gene...... in my mind he was infinitely more masculine that Fred Astaire - that egg-headed Nebraskan who wouldn't have been crapola if it hadn't been for Ginger's fawning all over him..... and hey, while we're at it, Ginger Rogers just never did anything for me whatsoever... she was too square-bodied........ so this gentleman, dear readers, most definitely does not prefer blondes......

... but be that as it may, I was still shocked by the scene I was presented with when I wandered through to refresh my Scotch a few minutes ago..... for on the television was Mr. Kelly wiggling through the final scene of the movie and garnering 1000% of The Missus' attention..... I was shocked and awe'd, folks..... behold what I was greeted with, hammerheads.....

..... I looked at the TV..... I looked back to The Missus...... and no heed was paid to my approach.... instead, she simply sat there with both of her goggles latched firmly onto the glowing screen (and Gene's muscular buttocks as they swayed).......

.... I tell you, folks.... it's hard to live around these here parts and maintain a shred of dignity with any sense of constancy........ life here, well, it's like The Tide..... it ebbs and flows..... ebbs and flows.....

.... I think I'm going to go and have her go and make me a sandwich just out of spite...... I'm in the mood for a grilled cheese anyway...... but wow, Gene Kelly's ass, indeed....... perhaps I should buy some sort of sand-colored leotards....

..... no, wait.... on second though, I dont really think that is such a good idea...... I think I'll grow a beard instead...... I certainly can't learn to dance..... and I'd look pretty damn funny in leotards.......

.... those girls dancing with their skirts up, though, they were quite interesting on the return trip to the blogroom...... but by then?... well, the damage had been done.....

by Eric on December 16, 2007 | Bullshit (15) | TrackBack (0) | Psycho Rants
Bullshit So Far

The way you disparage Fred, and call him horrible names...you do it to me on purpose, don't you? Because you know it upsets me.

Just for that, I hope Tennessee becomes a Dry State, or you get tagged with a meme, or something.

There. I said it.

Bullshitted by Erica on December 16, 2007 08:55 PM

.....that was pretty mean, Erica....

Bullshitted by Eric on December 16, 2007 09:27 PM

He stole that routine from me, but I danced in my skivvies as I was more buffed than he...

Tennessee will only go dry when Brooklynites learns english...

Bullshitted by jerry on December 16, 2007 09:40 PM

Mr. Kelly was showing more than just his buttocks, though you had to watch closely. But your lovely missus was most likely taken with his funky little cap. Grab yerself one of those, me laddy, and she'll be following yer every move. Don't rightly know where to start looking for one of those. I doubt that Walmart would have them...

Bullshitted by Winston on December 16, 2007 09:47 PM

..... you guys arent helping very much.....

Bullshitted by Eric on December 16, 2007 10:17 PM

I 'spose one could start with wearing tight leotards and learning to dance, but after that it's a matter of choice on one side or t' other. Arteests and their whims are a funny bunch by times.

Bullshitted by G on December 16, 2007 11:30 PM

I wonder if he could have done the old "crack walnuts with if butt-ocks" thing?
But yeah, a nice pair of blue jeans on a man beats leotards any day, they at least have texture.

Bullshitted by holder on December 17, 2007 06:15 AM

Maybe its the semi/sorta/sometimes athlete in me, but if you'd not have pointed out the painted on clothes, I'd probably not have thought about it much. I was too stunned by what great shape he was in. Cardiovascularly, that man was amazing. And limber. I'm about as flexible as a brick.

Bullshitted by Bou on December 17, 2007 07:28 AM

I just enjoyed watching him cavort without the speakers on,,,much more interesting I must say!

Bullshitted by Michele on December 17, 2007 11:00 AM

Gene Kelly, performing in a musical written by George Gershwin, who proposed (unsuccessfully) to Kitty Carlisle, whom SWMBO and I met a year ago at Reagan International Airport.

What's that - four degrees of separation?

Of course, I lack the physique, the leotards, the snazzy little hat, and any semblance of Dancing Ability...

Bullshitted by Elisson on December 17, 2007 02:21 PM

I didn't come here to read about Gene Kelly's arse.

I better get a job. Apparently idleness in Appalachia leads to Homersexuality.

Bullshitted by Velociman on December 17, 2007 06:11 PM

Leotards - 1

Visible "package" - 0

Even in the presence of raised skirts??? Hmmmm... What does that tell you??

Listen to Auntie Rich now - you have no worries M'dear. None at all. That boy ain't right. Just sayin'... ; )

Bullshitted by Richmond on December 17, 2007 06:27 PM

[cue deliverance music]
Shoot man. Take the got-damned remote and change the channel while she's makin' the sammich. Don't they have a penguin channel now? Dude, there's a fishin' show or a monster truck show on 24x7. Keeps this nation sane, it does. Hell, hit the speed channel and watch "Pinks" if you get in a bind. You noticin' some fella's hind end swayin' is gonna make me wear a long baggy sweat shirt and an extra pair of depends next time I drop by.
[/cue deliverance music]

PS: I read in the news today, so you know it's true, that Scotland's gonna sink in the next fitty, all those low lyin' liquor makers over there will be under water, and there will be a shortage of whiskey. Stock up brother, you're a hell of a lot younger than I am.

Bullshitted by RedNeck on December 17, 2007 09:18 PM

I always figured that Gene Kelly had a lot in common with Rock Hudson

Bullshitted by GUYK on December 18, 2007 09:06 AM

I'm with Bou... as she already posted my comment for me - I won't repeat it. *grin*

Bullshitted by Teresa on December 18, 2007 11:17 AM