Today....

…. today has been spent running in & out of various hospital-type places scattered all over Bradley County… the goal of which was to allow my Sainted Mother to be 100% ready for her upcoming knee replacement surgery…. So, as you might guess, we’ve all been absolutely awash in a steady, all-day-long progression of shots, scans, jabs, x-rays, questionnaires, consultancies, red-tape, telephone calls, insurance, and elevator music….. and the waiting room of the first appointment (to which the doctor was 1.5 HOURS late for, incidentally) was pumped full of old reruns of ‘Green Acres’ and ‘The Munsters’ playing back to back from two different television sets…. so let me just tell y’all right now – for the record – that once you’ve watched Eva Gabor in a cocktail dress peel carrots at a kitchen sink in STEREO, well, you don’t truly know what mind-numbing really is, folks……

… ole Mamma, though, she’s doing just fine……she’s one tough old bird, and that’s a fact…. the doctor kept telling her that he’d only do a full replacement if what he found once he opened her leg up was bad enough for a full one….. and she kept right at him telling something like, ‘fix it all… I don’t care about the pain and/or the recovery time, I just want it all fixed!.... I don’t want to have to come back here in five years…”….

… she’s got a point, though….. but hey, since I am highly allergic to any form of pain, I suspect that I’d have opted for the ‘partial’ approach vice the ‘complete’ deal…. but hey, that’s just me….

… on the upside of the day, I did managed to wolf down two incredible meals courtesy of local roadhouse throughout my adventure…… and not counting the large tumbler of Bushmills that I am cradling right now, my day’s consumption has included about nine species of animals, a few cups of pasta, about seven different cheeses, and enough green vegetables to choke a proverbial horse…..

…. Also, after dinner, it was requested that we take Sylvia’s top off and enjoy the late evening sunshine for the trip home…. And you know what?.... it’s hard NOT to have fun in a convertible when the sun is setting and most of the fields on the way home have been freshly mown for their hay….. the warm breeze and the sweet, sticky smell of the laying hay can be one potent balm for a heavy soul, rubberneckers…… just trust me….. personally, I cannot recommend it highly enough…

… as of now, she goes under the knife on the 2nd of October….. one week from today……

…. Oh, and now that I am thinking of it (and on a completely different note..), has anyone else been roped into watching that ‘Week of Hitchcock” on DirecTv for the past few days like I have?..... I swear, ‘Marnie” just deeply, deeply disturbs me on levels that I really don’t want to talk about in this public forum….. it is just fucking dire…… and the only saving grace – in my world – is the fact that Bruce Dern’s character gets beaten to death with a fireplace poker….. that is always good to watch….. I’ve despised every character he’s ever played since he shot John Wayne in “The Cowboys”…… but, anyway…..

…. And don’t even get me started on ‘Vertigo’….. Jimmy Stewart is just plain creepy in that role…. And the ending of the flick?.... Hitch deserves to be dug up by a herd of trained chipmunks and then have his corpse publicly attacked by a large group of slightly-sexy blondes wielding industrial staplers and wearing bad tweed suits….. but hey, maybe that’s just me……

…. ‘Rear Window’ rocked, though, I will give him that…… and even though blondes aren’t my bag, both Grace Kelly AND Tippi Hedren definitely knew how to bring on the sexy…… Hitchcock may or may not have been a great director….. but he definitely knew how to pick a leading lady…..

by Eric on September 25, 2007 | Bullshit (10) | TrackBack (0) | Ummm, Ok....
Bullshit So Far

I love Hitchcock... except for "The Birds" which I dislike intensely. "To Catch a Thief"... outstanding! "North by Northwest"... wonderful! "Notorious"... excellent. Although my very favorites are "The Lady Vanishes" and "The 39 Steps" - from the 1930's and not so well known.

In "The Lady Vanishes" there is an argument over whether to fight it out or surrender and it could come straight from today's news.

In "The 39 Steps" there is excellent footage of the moors of Scotland from the 1930's - and I must say this is the Hitchcock movie that really makes me laugh.

Bullshitted by Teresa on September 25, 2007 08:59 PM

Nope, I am not a Hitchcock fan and I think the digging up idea has merit. :o)

My own sainted Mother just went through double knee replacement surgery last September and looks like she will be doing the double hip replacement next month.

It is definitely not an easy post surgical time, but it sure made a world of difference! Wishing your Mom a speedy recovery.

Bullshitted by Lemon Stand on September 25, 2007 09:44 PM

Eric,
My sister had the same Hitchcock movie marathon going on this weekend. I caught the last 10 minutes of Psycho. Her son-in-law (age 39), had only seen the recent remake of Psycho and had never seen the original. Blasphemy! I had a great Hitchcock book years ago and lost it in one of my many moves. It gave some great insight into the production of these flicks. I think I've seen all the Hitchcock movies.

Good luck to your Mom!

Bullshitted by Jerry on September 25, 2007 11:58 PM

I'll keep your Mom in my prayers. My Mothership is doing much better after her double knee replacement 4-5 years ago. Incidentally, she would probably throttle the next person to ever suggest having both done at once.

I'm a Hitchcock fan - North by Northwest & Notorious, baby...

Bullshitted by LadyGunn on September 26, 2007 04:55 AM

Good luck to your mom witht he knee op. My mom had the same thing done, right after two hip replacements (same hip - the first time did not take). Right after that the othyer hip went, needed replacing too, but they could not do it because of the artificial knee on that side. So they wired it together, gave her some wonder drug for osteoporosous (spelling?) and sent her rollerblading down the highway of life. She gets around kind of okay after all that, the knee being the least of her problems.

Bullshitted by Glenn B on September 26, 2007 07:43 AM

Before I reluctantly concur with you on your warranted tirade again Hitchcock, allow me to wish your Sainted Mother the best of luck for a mostly, if not entirely, pain-free, complete recovery, and greater mobility after her surgery. I've heard such nice things about her.

About Hitchcock: WTF was up with that creepy stalker shit in Vertigo? Maybe Teresa knows the answer to that. I sure don't. Oh, and Bruce Dern...FEH! No like-ee. I recommend "Rope," an under-rated masterpiece.

Bullshitted by Erica on September 26, 2007 08:04 AM

My favourite Hitchcock film is North by North west followed by Rear Window, the Birds and The Man Who Knew Too Much.

I'm sure that your Sainted Mother's Knee replacemant will go well . Just think Eric that once she makes a full recovery she will probably Be able to catch you in a foot race

Bullshitted by DanToom on September 26, 2007 12:13 PM

I'll be keeping your mom and her recovery in my thoughts. I hope it all goes just swimmingly - and Hitchcock free...

Bullshitted by Richmond on September 26, 2007 03:04 PM

I'm sure her surgery will go just fine. It's the recovery that's so hard with that...they want you to get up and walk on those things almost as soon as you wake-up. Sounds like you had a really busy day.

Yeah...Moon Pie Man needs a really big moon pie monument. They have a large, tasteful family stone...but just that little bit with the moon pie information on it.

Bullshitted by rosie on September 26, 2007 11:23 PM

Would you say that was a screaming horde of slightly-sexy blondes wielding industrial staplers and wearing bad tweed suits?

Take good care of your ma, dude.

Bullshitted by zonker on September 27, 2007 07:27 AM