Razing....

…. As many of you may know, one of my most favoritest things to do while drinking beer and schlepping through the Ardennes (and the rest of Europe) is to find ancient castles and storm them in a fit of mock-bezerker rage and then claim them for the Great State of Tennessee….. it’s quite fun, let me tell ya….. and to date, I have successfully stormed about fifteen castles, towers, monasteries, and other minor fortifications throughout Holland, England, Scotland, Belgium, France, Germany, and Luxemburg…. many while armed with only a rolled-up newspaper & a fierce grimace, I might add….. but hey, I am a conqueror at heart….. and you’d be surprised just how well a heavy slap from a copy of the Times of London works in subduing a bookish, be-spectacled castle tour guide….

… anyhoo, in my most recent expedition, I managed to capture the fortress of one Godfrey de Bouillon…. Some of you may recognize the name there, of course, as he was eminently involved in the First Crusade and later became the first “king” of Jerusalem… or “defender of The Holy Sepulcher” if you’d rather… either way, despite his fame & legend, I had very little trouble wresting his mountain-top castle away from his dilapidated minions and making it my own….

… of course, the way was made a wee bit easier by the fact that he died in Jerusalem in 1100, but that is not really the point….. hey, a castle is a castle….. and they’re made for stormin’….

…. This trip I even managed to convince my dear ole Father-in-Law to assist me during two particularly daring day-time assaults…. Indeed, there was even a ‘war correspondent’ there to document our bravery….. see?...

.. oh yeah, we kicked ass…. That was he and I boldly rushing the gates of the monastery in Clervaux, Luxemburg…. here’s a better shot of it……

…. those trappist-addled meditating monks never stood a chance, people…… I even shot a few German tourists in the chest with my finger-gun just for good measure and to instill that extra little-bit of fear that you need to conjure when taking a walled city by force…..

… but the true jewel in the day’s crown was the assault on ole Godfrey’s pad……

… here’s a shot of my Father-in-Law and I about to clasp each other in celebration of our victory like real men….. Godfrey's castle was ours!...

.... trust me, folks... my life would kill most people.....