Size....

… you know, spiders are curious things……size doesn’t seem to matter to them at all….

… a few days ago when I was grilling those lamb chops in the garage, I noticed a fairly large Carolina Wolf Spider scurrying around…. his body was about the size of a peanut… and with his legs splayed out, he was nearly as big around as a tennis ball….. covered with bristly hairs, he looked like quite the cockroach-catcher as he nipped from the grill to one of the legs of the pool table….

… I stood there watching him for probably five minutes…. He was on the hunt and I couldn’t help but wonder what his victims might feel as they saw him approaching at a dead run….

… but then, just after I had turned the lamb fillets on the grill, he stumbled…..

.. in the process of ducking from one leg of the pool table to the other, he tripped…. It just didn’t seem right, so I knelt down and looked a bit closer….

.. he was struggling…. rolling…. and then I saw the reason…..

…. The pool table is sitting on small, thin slats of wood….. each of the six legs were shimmed for levelness when it was first set up….. and that space between the large legs and the tiny stacks of shims is home to predators…..

… common house spiders, to be exact…. Miniscule little beasts… I’ve mentioned them many times here, as they are seemingly everywhere… even living their lives pressed betwixt the screens and glass of my blogroom window…. But as the grill smoked, the meat sizzled, and I looked on, a tiny spider slid down a strand of his web towards Mr. Wolf Spider…… for demonstration’s sake, just imagine a housecat stalking an elephant…… that is what they looked like…..

… I laughed out loud as the scene unfolded….. for in my mind, that little guy was toast…..

…. But I was wrong… very, very wrong…..

… the little spider touched a long, besieged leg… and then backed away a few inches….. and the job was done in less than 30 seconds….

…. At first, it slowed….. and then it slowed again… until finally there was no movement at all…. and as if were no big deal that David had just slew Goliath, the house spider reeled his victim in…. up and up… until the meal was a good three inches off of the concrete…

…. After that, I really don’t know what happened…. I checked the chops, and they were done…. So I headed inside and had my own dinner - letting the spider have his way with his……

… I walked outside just now and saw his dried husk resting beneath the pool table….

… there is wisdom there, I guess….. some sort of lesson…. The Circle Of Life… Bravado & Show vs. Action…. Never Underestimate The Little Guy?......
..... Then again, maybe I just need to buy some pesticide……

by Eric on June 06, 2007 | Bullshit (14) | TrackBack (0) | Thinking
Bullshit So Far

I personally vote pesticide - but then you know how I feel about eight legged creatures. ::shudder::

Bullshitted by Richmond on June 6, 2007 02:37 PM

Kill the poor beasts? Next thing you know, you'll be smashing bottles of booze.

One does not kill the blog fodder...

Bullshitted by That 1 Guy on June 6, 2007 02:40 PM

Ewwwwwwww I was cornered one time in an empty house by a wolf spider. Sucker moved at me every time I took a step. I had to yell for help. I was afraid if I tried to jump over him, he would have leaped on me. Glad that little bugger of a spider got him. But not before dinner.

Bullshitted by vw bug on June 6, 2007 02:41 PM

I'm JCK, and I'm an arachnophobe. And thanks to your vivid post, it is not just the scary large ones.... The little ones are now in the scary list. Reinforces my policy that if you are a spider and you move into my line of sight, you are crushed. (Some exceptions allowed outdoors...)

AWTM is worrying about ticks, and now I feel her pain, as I feel like there are crawlies all around... Ick!

Bullshitted by jck on June 6, 2007 05:52 PM

Aw man, now I'm going to have to spray everywhere again because I'm going to be seeing them whether they are there or not.
Shudder.....
Pesticides, lots of pesticides.

Bullshitted by Tina on June 6, 2007 07:05 PM

You sure you don't have a brown recluse masquerading as a house spider?? 30 seconds seems a little quick for lowly house spider poison to take out a large insect.

I vote for heavy duty insecticide. Not the Spider-B-Gone stuff either. I soaked a spider in it once and she was alive for days until I lost patience and got rid of her the old fashioned way.

Bullshitted by G on June 6, 2007 07:26 PM

I don't know how y'all know the difference between all these spiders. Unless its a daddy long legs, in my book its a 'spider'. The same goes for bugs. They're all 'bugs'. And they all fall under the domain of 'it is the man's job to take care of them'. It's written in my marital contract I do believe...

Bullshitted by Bou on June 6, 2007 10:04 PM

And here my prize the Black Widow isn't she lovely? So deadly, her kiss is 15 times as poisonous as that of the rattlesnake. Her venom is highly neurotoxic, attacking the central nervous system causing intense pain, profuse sweating, difficulty in breathing, loss of consciousness, and finally death. (Vincent Price voice)

Bullshitted by Rey B on June 6, 2007 10:53 PM

Spiders mean that the air is good.
You dont find spiders in foul air places.
My cats love them, not to play with though.

Bullshitted by keeskennis on June 7, 2007 02:52 AM

Spiders are scary but they're kind of cool. I don't kill them unless I have to usually. They eat ickier bugs.

Bullshitted by Libby on June 7, 2007 09:41 PM

Thanks for giving me the creepy-crawlies, man. Ew, ew, ew...

I vote for the pesticide. Lots & lots of pesticide. And then more pesticide.

Bullshitted by LadyGunn on June 8, 2007 02:00 AM

[Riffing off Rey]

If I may put forward a slice of personal philosophy, I feel that Straight White Eric has ruled this blog as a stumbling, demented child-king long enough! And as his empire crumbles, my precious Black Widow shall rise as his most fitting successor!

Bullshitted by Harvey on June 9, 2007 12:37 AM

These words he speaks are true. We're all humanary stew. If we don't pledge allegiance to...The Black Widow!

Bullshitted by Rey B on June 9, 2007 11:25 AM

That's quite a story, Chief. Sometimes, ya gotta go with Small and Wiry.

Bullshitted by Elisson on June 10, 2007 12:03 PM