Directions....

… ensure that she has had dinner… one that you have cooked…. and two nice glasses of wine……

…… lay her back on the couch and take a seat at the far end…. slip off her socks by tugging at the toes until the tension eventually forces them to give… gently letting the knit cloth slowly scrape against her skin as the garment slips off….

… place one ankle on your knee…..

…. daub a liberal amount of aloe-based skin lotion into the palm of your left hand….. put the bottle back on the ottoman, and bring your hands together – palm to palm…… slowly smear the lotion between your palms… allowing it to warm to your body’s temperature…… and once it is warm, begin….

… place one hand on either side of her upturned foot and press them together as hard as you can…. Allowing the warm lotion to seep from the seal of your palms….. and then stroke….. long, slow, strong motions…. both hands opposing each other as you press with her foot clamped in between……

… swirl around her heel with one hand while the other lotioned-hand works the ball of her foot…… alternate and repeat…… move your left hand to where your right hand had been…. and with every movement, ensure that pressure is kept constant as your hands change position……

… sandwich the foot again between your hands and move each hand in an opposing clockwise/counter-clockwise motion from ball to heel….. slip a slick finger into the crook of each toe as well….. ensuring that every inch is coated and touched……

… and when the lotion on your hand has ceased being slick and the rubbing becomes slightly more labored?.... it is time to switch feet and reapply……

… that's the way you do it, evidently..... or so I am told……

by Eric on April 07, 2007 | Bullshit (13) | TrackBack (0) | Ummm, Ok....
Bullshit So Far

The variety of topics here is boggling to my blonde mind... my blonde, appreciative mind.

oh, my... to hell with a cold shower, I'm heading for a bubble bath.

Bullshitted by Jean on April 7, 2007 11:12 AM

Heinleins' "Time Enough for Love" hero Lazarus Long states that one of the ingredients for a happy marriage is to "Rub her feet." 26 years and it's all good.

Bullshitted by Rey on April 7, 2007 11:23 AM

I needa cigarette.

Bullshitted by LilToni on April 7, 2007 11:53 AM

HHhhmmmm.
Didn't you say you have a brother? Any chance he's passing my way? *BigAssGrin*

Bullshitted by Fiona on April 7, 2007 12:08 PM

Ahhhh. Foreplayblogging!

Bullshitted by Elisson on April 7, 2007 01:01 PM

Hmmmmm, methinnks the man knows what he's blogging about,,,,

Bullshitted by Michele on April 7, 2007 01:43 PM

Dude, you get that technique down, you could play Xbox 360 all night long!

Bullshitted by Rube on April 7, 2007 02:28 PM

Oh my... ::fans self:: I may just have to print this one off and leave it lying around for someone to find...

Good Directions, Eric. Very good...

Bullshitted by Richmond on April 7, 2007 03:09 PM

Straight White Foreplay...I love it...

Bullshitted by Chickie on April 7, 2007 04:09 PM

Will you marry me? My feet are killing me.

But, it stops with the feet, Buster.

Bullshitted by Jim - PRS on April 7, 2007 06:23 PM

HAPPY EASTER TO YOU AND YOURS!

Bullshitted by Kevin on April 8, 2007 10:09 AM

Just let me know if you need a volunteer on whom to practice your technique.
I never refuse a foot massage.

Bullshitted by Lolly on April 9, 2007 10:31 AM

...and you won't even have to cook me dinner...

Bullshitted by Lolly on April 11, 2007 08:30 PM