Helmets.....

….. well, I finally found time and watched “300” last night…. And in a word?.... “wow”…. what a trip…..

… and for the record, that charging rhino scared the crap out of me…. seriously…. You can officially add charging rhinos to the list of things that I never want to see in person…… And that big fella with the chains and the filed down teeth?... get outta town…. He reminded me of Velociman at a blogmeet after we’d ran out of vodka….

… I will say this, though…. visually, the whole movie was absolutely stunning…. The look and feel of the cinematography was brilliant…. and the heavy metal music near the end sorta tied it all together…. In a surreal, sweaty, scantily-clad bloodlust way…..

…. Oh, and I bet the Spartans did a LOT of sit-ups… I mean, like a LOT of sit-ups…. Like probably a full metric shitload or something….. either that, or their wives woke up sore every morning from being slammed like a screen-door all night long……

… oh, and their helmets were pretty damn snazzy too….

… one problem with the movie?... no War Dogs…. nope, not a single one….. we had War Elephants, War Rhinos, War Mimes, and War Mutants… but not a single drug-addled War Dog in the whole movie…. and that was pretty disappointing…. because, hey, I don’t know about the historical accuracy of some Persian or African riding around on a War Rhino, but I DO know that historically those wily Persians DID have a pack of War Dogs….. I read it in Military History Magazine not two months ago…….

Update: ... as usual, the comments to this post are TWICE as entertaining as my actual post..... bloody hell.... you guys rock.....

by Eric on April 05, 2007 | Bullshit (19) | TrackBack (0) | Ummm, Ok....
Bullshit So Far

Xerxes is gay.

*ancient Spartan graffiti*

Bullshitted by bitterman on April 5, 2007 11:16 AM

War dogs are gay.

*ancient left-wing Persian graffiti*

Bullshitted by RSM on April 5, 2007 12:03 PM

nah,....see. If it had really been documented ancient left-wing Persian graffiti, it would have read more like: "War dogs are gay, but not that there's anything wrong with that...."

Bullshitted by bitterman on April 5, 2007 12:16 PM

with all due respect, bitterman, they wouldn't be saying anything positive about the war dogs... they are just interested in outing them in hopes their fellow warmongering hordes would ostracize them, and when that doesn't happen, when the War Hippos and War Penuins say "Whatever. I don't agree with it, but whatever," the Persian lefties will then decry the hypocracy of the wardogs.

But they support the war beasts even though the warbeasts are too stupid to do anything else.

I stand by the authenticity of my graffiti...

Bullshitted by RSM on April 5, 2007 12:41 PM

Hmmmmm. Interesting points, all. I suppose I tripped myself all up on the ancient Spartans' choice of vernacular and comparing that to modern slang, that being gay as a derrogatory adjective, meaning weak or stupid or perhaps out of touch;....ie "Dude, driving a 83 Buick Regal is uber gay."

In reality, the Spartans were all probably quite gay, in an oily, greek, gherkin jerkin' kinda way. How else can we account for the preponderance of six pack abs in the movie?

However, there is one point in Sir Eric's review I believe we can agree. War Mimes are super gay.

Bullshitted by bitterman on April 5, 2007 12:54 PM

I imagine it would have been difficult to to all the CGI rendering on the Persian Gay War Dogs.

I mean, imagine trying to get the fur to behave naturally on hundreds and hundreds of charging pink poodles...

Bullshitted by El Capitan on April 5, 2007 01:14 PM

Forget the war dogs.

I'm still stuck on the visual of getting 'slammed like a screen door all night long.' Wow. Heh.

Bullshitted by Bou on April 5, 2007 03:20 PM

... y'all are killing me.....

Bullshitted by Eric on April 5, 2007 04:02 PM

I LOVED this movie. And the sit ups thing? Oh... my...

Gotta go!

Bullshitted by Freddie on April 5, 2007 04:17 PM

Very good posting. Now I'm going to stay up all night slamming the screen door to see what it does.

Also, War Mimes were outlawed by the 1879 Anglo-Netherland Illicit Weapons Convention. This was the little known result of the 32 Day War pitting the UK, Germany, Bolivia and Latvia against Italy, The Russian Empire, and two of the leading NHL teams. The convention was called as an article of the Peace of Humus.

Bullshitted by Cappy on April 5, 2007 07:10 PM

And finally, I was going to say something about Xerxes, but apparantly, you have to go into rehab if you call someone a faggot.

Bullshitted by ann coulterer on April 5, 2007 09:43 PM

You guys had me on "War dogs are gay". ROFL!

The movie completely rocked, style/music/actors/effects ... all awesome. I am still trying to mesh the Gerard Butler of 300 with his role as Phantom of the Opera. Mind-blowing.

Bullshitted by Barb on April 5, 2007 11:36 PM

War Mimes?? Can War Clowns be far behind? AAAACK!

Bullshitted by Jim - PRS on April 6, 2007 01:19 AM

Geez, I didn't know the Colorado School of Mimes had an ROTC program...

Bullshitted by Elisson on April 6, 2007 08:50 AM

slammed like a screen door all night long... my oh my...

note to self- swallow before opening this site...

Bullshitted by holder on April 6, 2007 09:15 AM

Holder got the line I liked the most... I almost commented yesterday but I didn't want to get inbetween the bitterm/rsm diplomacy deal goin' on.

Bullshitted by RedNeck on April 6, 2007 07:02 PM

I'm with RedNeck... screen door slamming sounds much more interesting than gay... anything.

Bullshitted by Jean on April 6, 2007 08:02 PM

Best review I've seen on this movie yet.

Bullshitted by Libby on April 7, 2007 12:00 AM

I have to agree with Barb.
It's quite hard to place both movies on the same plate but there you go. Gerard Butler. But damn!

PS - I saw this and it was great! I'm not intertested in history when I want to watch a movie.

Bullshitted by Fiona on April 7, 2007 12:12 PM