…. you know, were I ever to be a Little Debbie snack, I will always believe what my heart tells me…

…. and as I listen to it – in its still, small voice – it gently warbles the same phrase over and over…. musically, almost, it still varies in tempo and volume…. but the answer is always the same…. Always….

… of course, I haven’t had one in years, but I do know that in my most influential decade I munched on many of them…. so perhaps that is the source of this meditative discovery… a unconscious yearning to be lightly folded back into Momma’s awaiting arms, spared the slings and arrows of our outrageous existence, and given two chewy cookies with a light, creamy (crème’y?) filling…..

… either way, were I to ever be somehow cosmically shifted by some intergalactic despot from human to lunchtime snack and you happen to want to have a chat or something, I’ll be easy to find… tucked right between the Twinkies and the dingdongs… and up just a bit from those nasty raisin-encrusted shortbread thingies that no one eats…… and just below the pink, coconut & marshmallow Sno-balls…

… indeed…. for in my deepest, darkest soul, I am somehow one with the Oatmeal Crème Pie……

by Eric on January 17, 2007 | Bullshit (16) | TrackBack (0) | Ummm, Ok....
Bullshit So Far

Ooohh...I love Oatmeal Creme Pies. That is the only Little Debbie snack I eat. Yummy!!

Bullshitted by drc on January 17, 2007 07:30 PM

I prefer Ding Dongs (King Dongs?), but that is a northern thing.

Just give me a donut and I will be happy.

Bullshitted by Lance on January 17, 2007 07:37 PM

We're friends enough, I feel, that I could tell you openly and honestly, that sometimes I just don't know what the f*ck you are talking about.

This would be one of those times.

Bullshitted by Erica on January 17, 2007 08:09 PM

I love those things... but only allow myself to eat them when on a road trip, for some reason...

Bullshitted by pam on January 17, 2007 08:43 PM

Very few things cause a "cosmic shift" for me. I am glad you found one that is inexpensive and has a long shelf life!

Bullshitted by armywifetoddlermom on January 17, 2007 09:31 PM

Oooooh, I can't eat any of that stuff. That includes Moon Pies. All that cremey filling stuff. Ick. I'm with Lance. Give me a doughnut. Preferably chocolate...

Bullshitted by Bou on January 17, 2007 09:39 PM

Snack cakes........Drake's Peanut Butter Tandy Takes. Period.

Bullshitted by Jim - PRS on January 17, 2007 09:48 PM

Ah Eric, a kindred soul..... however, it was a close call between that and the Whoopie Pie. :o)

Bullshitted by Lemon Stand on January 17, 2007 09:55 PM

Rather, you should be reincarnated as a Twinkie. First, Twinkies, thanks to their Butt-Load o' Preservatives™, will be around (along with the humble Cock-Roach) long after the Earth has been rendered a radioactive cinder. Second, they're Dildo-Shaped! Just think where you could end up in the hands of a Kinky and Imaginative Lady...

Bullshitted by Elisson on January 18, 2007 01:00 AM

mmmmmmm. Oatmeal pie aka the one-handed breakfast food of the gods. Also my favorite.

Have you tried them deep fried? Mmmmmmmmmmmmm

Bullshitted by caltechgirl on January 18, 2007 01:17 AM

They are yummy - we actually get these up here in Canada now too; we use to have to wait until we went down to Calais (Maine) to get some.

Bullshitted by Lisa W. on January 18, 2007 06:52 AM

Tasty cake peanut butter candy cakes only. MMMMM.

Bullshitted by oddybobo on January 18, 2007 09:06 AM

Can I be a Cajun All-Beef smokie?

Bullshitted by Erin O'Brien on January 18, 2007 01:19 PM

You have totally saved me once again, Eric! Last week as I signed up for some Girl Scout cookies, I noticed they had changed the name of the chewy, coconut/caramel drizzled chocolate kind that were *my* old fave.

And for the life of me, the GS Mom and I could not remember what they used to be called, back in the day. Until your post warmed up those three braincells that held that information...

Samoas. They were called Samoas.

This has been driving me nuts all week.

Thanks Eric! :-)

Bullshitted by Richmond on January 18, 2007 03:55 PM

i love those oatmeal creme pies too, but my new indulgence since starting my New Year's diet is the little chocolate cookie with the marshmallow puff on it and coconut sprinkles. Not quite as good as the oatmeal creme pie...but will suffice.

Bullshitted by Cindy on January 19, 2007 01:18 PM

Agree with you on the choice. Tell me you had a Dr. Pepper alongside to counteract the sweetness....

Bullshitted by Nancy on January 22, 2007 01:17 AM