…. ‘tis a rainy, cloudy, windy day here, and I have spent most of the morning and early afternoon educating myself on the greater mysteries of cheese….

.. how I slid into this vein of thought this morning, I honestly have no idea… I suppose that, if I were a suitably introspective man, I would lay the cause directly at the feet of Being Mildly Obsessive Compulsive… but, no… being as I do not feel even slightly meditative today, I suspect that the warm, gentle glow of my breakfast cheddar-sandwich is the real cause of today’s research….

… after all, it is easy to want to submerge one’s Self into something a wee bit more comforting on a day such as this…. and in this household?... nothing purrs ‘comfort’ better than a lovely hunk of cheese…

… and so, well, I spent quite a lot of time over at the friendly wikipedia article for cheese….

… and as I read and read, a question began to wiggle towards the surface of my percolating mind…. cheese, of course, is a product of mammal milk…. and I could not help but wonder – since us humans are mammals too – what might a creamy piece of breast milk cheese taste like…

… now, before you rubberneckers go running and screaming off into cyberspace, just relax… it wasn’t that I actually wanted to eat breast milk cheese, but it was just more of a whimsical curiosity… and hey, having never spent much time around lactating ladies, I have very, VERY little information on the whole process…. So as I said, I was just more than a little curious… (and the wikipedia article was notably lacking in any human cheese data)…

… so, as you do, I began searching for the information….. and imagine my surprise, ladies and gentlemen, when I found out exactly what I quested for right on a fellow blogger’s site…. Check it out…. she even has pictures!...

… so how about that?.... see?.... human milk doesn’t curdle… and when it comes to cheese, no curdling means ixnay on the eesechay…. I tell you, the internet is a wonderful and amazing place… it really is….

by Eric on November 07, 2006 | Bullshit (18) | TrackBack (0) | Ummm, Ok....
Bullshit So Far

You have waaaay too much time on your hands!!

Bullshitted by Alaska Kim on November 7, 2006 02:28 PM

Ever have mouse milk cheese? It's very small...

Bullshitted by Elisson on November 7, 2006 02:41 PM

You definitely need a job, dude. And this post obviously leads to the next step in the thought process: dick cheese comes from humans, so there.

Bullshitted by Velociman on November 7, 2006 03:22 PM

Imagine my surprise when I clicked on your latest rumination. The wife and I just returned from seeing the movie Borat.

Human milk cheese was on the menu!

Bullshitted by Big Squid on November 7, 2006 03:22 PM

I would still think this is absolutely possible. honestly. It has to be. There is no reason you should not be able to. Good luck finding someone that would want to try it.

Also thank you for letting us into your mind again..

human cheese



Bullshitted by armywifetoddlermom on November 7, 2006 04:26 PM

oh and Ellison thanks for making me freaking choke on my tea...

Bullshitted by armywifetoddlermom on November 7, 2006 04:28 PM

Very barferific, Eric ... and to echo V-Man's comment, groin cheese which accumulates around the surface of the Penile Instrument I've heard called "Smegma."

It's pretty revolting, but if you have a strong constitution and aren't at work, here's the link (

Bullshitted by Erica on November 7, 2006 04:46 PM

I envy your cheesiness! I just found out that I'm lactose intolerant, so no more cheese for me. Argh.

But if you want to learn about cheese or discuss the possibilities of breast milk cheese, you must check out my friend Jon Sullivan's cheese site: He's an extremely cantankerous fellow who goes to great lengths to seek out obscenely obscure cheeses. I'm sure it would amuse him to no end to contemplate the existence of breast milk cheese.

Bullshitted by DogsDontPurr on November 7, 2006 04:47 PM

Addendum: I just read that ladies can be afflicted with Smegma, too, (but not if we practice good cleaning habits).

Bullshitted by Erica on November 7, 2006 04:48 PM

I bet it tastes like cantelope juice. (obscure reference!)

Bullshitted by Bou on November 7, 2006 04:53 PM

:^0 GoodGod, Man.

I spent 18+ months breastfeeding (total) and making cheese never crossed my mind once. Y chromosomes do strange things...

Bullshitted by Richmond on November 7, 2006 06:10 PM

One might consider dumpin' a batch of "protein" drink in there, and then tryin' to get it to curdle...

Better cheese eatin' through modern chemistry...

Bullshitted by RedNeck on November 7, 2006 07:27 PM

First I gotta read about the cheese growing under T1G's toenails. And now breast milk cheese? Good Gott, Man. Are you trying to make me give up dairy products?

Bullshitted by Jerry on November 7, 2006 11:45 PM

That was hilarious; thanks for a good laugh this morning.

Bullshitted by Lisa W. on November 8, 2006 06:07 AM

Thanks Eric for keeping us abreast of things.I sure do dig arcane wisdom

Bullshitted by Dan Toom on November 8, 2006 03:53 PM

Why stop at cheese? What about the possibilities of breast milk ice cream, milkshakes, butter, cream and so on. Finding a lactating woman who could pump out enough of the stuff to make a tub of ice cream might be difficult though.

Bullshitted by Mark on November 9, 2006 08:51 AM

Groanin' Jock rules!

Bullshitted by Erica on November 9, 2006 11:13 AM

Venezuelan Beaver Cheese (another obscure reference)

Bullshitted by Harvey on November 9, 2006 03:30 PM