...More Prine....

..... it has been on of those evenings......

..... I'm smiling my backside off and listening to some Prine tonight.......

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Past....

.... a bit of a blast from the past, but it was on my mind tonight........

.... I once described 1980s music videos and movies as the "best corndog on the rack....... it may be the best, but it is still just a corndog..."....... and as an example, I give you a music video that is most definitely not OSHA approved.....


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Miss.....

.... so, last Christmas a strange thing happened to me..... I was asked by a local woman if I'd mind putting the top down on Blanche and driving Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus through town in the local Christmas parade...... I didn't mind, of course, and I spent a happy few hours idling across McMinn county with two plump, costumed old folks sitting in the back seat......

.... the backstory of how the lady actually tracked me down is a tale for another day.... suffice it to say that she didn't know me, and she had only seen my car a few times as I was driving around...... so she started making phonecalls and eventually figured out "who owned that beautiful car"...... indeed..... bizarre stuff, actually.... I live in a small enough town that people actually recognize my car.......

...fast forward to a few days ago...... I'm minding my own business making a sandwich when the telephone rings......

Me: .... Hello...
Her: Yes, hello. Is this Eric?
Me: ..... yes, ma'am..
Her: Great! You may not remember me, but I called you last year about using your car for Santa in the parade!
Me: ..... of course... yes, I remember you....
Her: I was just calling to see if you would be so kind and generous as to drive Santa again this year.
Me: ..... sure, ma'am...... but I have to tell you that, sadly, Blanche is no longer with us.....
Her:
Me: ..... ma'am?....
Her: I thought your wife's name was The Missus?
Me: ..... oh!.... of course it is!..... I named my CAR Blanche!....... I just meant that I have traded cars since last year!
Her: OH! Whew! HAHAHHA! So, you named your car Blanche? Is your new car a convertible as well?
Me: .... um, yeah...... I always name my cars..... so, to answer your question, yes... I still own a convertible.....
Her: And what is the dear's name, if I may ask?
Me: ...... my new ride is called Vivienne..... and it is safe to say that she is a wee bit different than Blanche.......
Her: She is? I loved your other car. She was so beautiful and elegant. Santa looked GREAT in her backseat.
Me: ..... thank you, ma'am.... but I need to warn you, Santa may not look that good in my new car....
Her: How so?
Me: .... well, she isn't white.... she's black..... and she isn't elegant..... she's naughty......
Her:
Me: .... see, I'm not so sure that I should be the guy to be hauling Santa around this year.... I don't mind, of course, but you need to know that he's not going to be in some "beautiful and elegant" car..... he's going to be riding in a sleek, sexy, BEAST of a vehicle.......
Her: Hmmmmm. Just a second, let me think.
Me: ...... I'm just saying, ma'am..... my new car is curvy and agressive..... she's a beauty.... Santa might look a little saucy, and I am not sure that's the effect you might be wanting for the parade.....
Her: Sexy, eh? Curvy, agressive, sleek? Hmmmm. Ok, then, how would you like to drive Miss Tennessee in the parade instead?
Me:..... Miss Tennessee is coming to our parade?...
Her: Yes, she is. And she is riding with you in your convertible. I'll put Santa on the hay wagon with the elves.
Me: ..... ummm.... ok...... I'd be happy to help......
Her: Right, that's off the checklist. Thank you, and we will see you on Friday! 5:30 sharp behind the swimming pool. Bye!

...... and just like that?..... Santa is on the hay wagon, and I am spending Friday evening driving Miss Tennessee in the annual Christmas parade....... I'm sure Vivienne is up for the task.....

.... I swear, you can't make this shit up....

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