Vindication....

… last December I mentioned a little game that the Missus and I had played one winter evening when the strong hands of boredom had taken us both in a stranglehold… basically, we spent a few hours trying to decide just which big-screen stud got the most rack-time with the ladies… (with great help from the various movies being shown on Turner Classic Movies and American Movie Classics)

… back then, well, I laid my money firmly on Vincent Price… and yes, I still do… and I use to reinforce my initial conjecture, the wonderful flick, ‘Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine'… and I am currently allowing the movie – in all its incredibly sexist glory - to fully, slowly, and artistically sink in….

… first off, only a man of Vincent’s caliber could have pulled off such a role… and in a word?... wow… and secondly, he played an evil scientist who surrounded himself with dozens of anatomically correct bikini-model robots that he could program as he saw fit….

… I mean, just imagine… good God… the man must have had the libido of a rutting rhinoceros…. and hey, even with Frankie Avalon as a co-star, it was still ole Vince that caught the doe-eyed, quick-breathed, slightly dampened gazes of the bikini-clad starlets…

… the man truly had it going on…. from the crest of his plucked eyebrows to the soles of his highly polished wingtips…

… and there was something else, too, that was only noticed because the movie was in color instead of black and white…. oh yes, children, there was a very, very noticeable sheen on Vincent’s pencil-thin mustache…. all through the entire movie….

… and with that little bit of jetsam, I rest my case….. hey, draw your own conclusions, gentle reader, but Vincent was a stud hoss… absolute and complete…..

by Eric on October 12, 2006 | Bullshit (2) | TrackBack (0) | Ummm, Ok....
Bullshit So Far

Eric,
"Beach Blanket Bingo" I've heard of. But not "Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine". Then again, being the youngest of six, I didn't get to choose what movies we watched in the 60s.

Bullshitted by Jerry on October 12, 2006 10:21 PM

The fact that you are able to watch a cheesy 1960's beach flick and come away with the conclusion that Vincent fucking Price was some sort of bull-goose Stud Muffin both amazes me and creeps me out, just a little...

...good Gawd, man...any more surprises up your sleeve, bubba?

Bullshitted by Elisson on October 13, 2006 01:28 PM