… the soon-to-be Viking-helmeted Sissy from over at And What Next? sparked my interest this morning with a question… and believe it or not, it is something that I have never actually let run loose through the vacant lot of my mind….. and yet the question is remarkably simple… “what would you choose to eat as your last meal”… and as I stared at the screen waiting to make a comment, I realized that I honestly had no idea….

…. and so, with more time to think of the subject, here are a few of my possible answers…. Although, I do think that the final decision would hinge upon what time of day my execution was scheduled for… I mean, I wouldn’t really want to have my favorite breakfast food served up at 10pm… execution time is very important to me….so, without further hesitation, here goes….

… Last Meals as proposed by Eric (according to the time of day at which I am to be dispatched) …

6:30AM – just shup up and shoot me… I won’t feel a thing….

7:30AM – a pot of Maxwell House Colombian blend coffee and three unfiltered Camels…

8:30AM – two fried eggs – over easy… buttermilk biscuits with strawberry jam, and crisp bacon on the side…

9:30AM – three link sausages, buttermilk biscuits smothered in meal gravy, and three scrambled eggs with garlic, blackpepper, and parmesan cheese…

10:30AM – freshly squeezed orange juice, three slices of buttered toast with pheasant pate, and a large black coffee….

11:30AM – a foot-long coney dog from Sonic with chili, cheese, and onions… and a chocolate shake….

12:30PM – a bacon sandwich on white toast… with extra-crispy bacon, thickly sliced cheddar cheese, lashings of mayonnaise, and sliced onions… and a bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale….

1:30PM – a large tub of Pistachio Delight from the local delicatessen here….

2:30PM – a bowl of milk with a giant slice of my Mother’s cornbread crumbled in it… and a glass of fresh lemonade…

3:30PM – shrimp salad on a baguette… and a cup of lapsang souchong tea with cream and sugar..

4:30PM – homemade macaroni and cheese (with a hint of mustard and bleu)… and garlic bread..

5:30PM – a bowl of clam chowder with garlic and cheese biscuits… and a cold Sam Adams (or two)…

6:30PM – bbq’d boneless ribs, baked beans, and cole slaw…

7:30PM – three gin and tonics and a medium rare filet steak wrapped in bacon….

8:30PM – king prawn korma, a garlic and cheese naan, and two tiger beers…..

9:30PM – chicken tikka, a garlic and cheese naan, and more tiger beers….

10:30PM – freshly-battered and deep-fried Atlantic haddock and a mountain of chips… and homemade tartar sauce…

11:30PM – the last two inches in the bottle of 18 year old Talisker… with a few pieces of ice and just as splash of water…

12:30AM – it’s too late to eat now, and I’ve got to watch my figure… hey, I’m getting shot sometime tomorrow and I have to look my best….

… you know, I just realized something else too… I do believe my choices would be seasonal as well… I mean, chicken tikka is ok for 9:30 in the Wintertime… but would just be completely wrong for a Summer killin’…

by Eric on October 10, 2006 | Bullshit (15) | TrackBack (0) | Blogging
Bullshit So Far

I think Velociman or Elisson had this conversation not too long ago and they linked to a URL that showed the listings of inmates' actual "last meals". Your were much nicer sounding...

Bullshitted by Lisa W. on October 10, 2006 11:02 AM

This sounds like a typical day's menu over at Etowah Acres, innit?

Put that fuckin' needle down. Let's eat.

Bullshitted by Elisson on October 10, 2006 11:44 AM

No need to put you before the firing squad. The coronary artery disease will get you first.

Bullshitted by bitterman on October 10, 2006 12:49 PM

... for sooth, Bitterman...

... thank you, Lisa...

.. and yeah, I wish, Elisson... if I ever win the lottery, I'm having an exit tube put in my stomach so that I can eat until my jaws get tired....

Bullshitted by Eric on October 10, 2006 12:54 PM

The "last supper" list was excellent. Yes I always believed people needed more than one asshole, so if I can get hooked up, I'm going for that exit tube, sweet.


Bullshitted by Lance on October 10, 2006 02:04 PM

Are you cooking?

Bullshitted by Tink on October 10, 2006 02:20 PM

I think 7:30 is my favorite... Yummy!

Bullshitted by Richmond on October 10, 2006 02:52 PM

Wow. You are mighty complex there, dude. All I want is pizza!

Bullshitted by DogsDontPurr on October 10, 2006 04:23 PM

Pheasant pate? La-dee-dah your Lordship - sure you wouldn't prefer peacock stuffed with swan skewered with a unicorn horn?

Bullshitted by Mark on October 10, 2006 05:44 PM

heh... of course, I had to read this as dinner is warming up... leftover chicken noodle soup... sad, very sad.

Bullshitted by Jean on October 10, 2006 05:56 PM

This was a really frickin' funny post...

Bullshitted by Bou on October 10, 2006 07:51 PM


Bullshitted by Sissy on October 10, 2006 08:54 PM

Harlan Ellison once wrote a story about a Death Row inmate who made a deal with the devil: The inmate would never die, as long as he kept on eating his last meal. Unfortunately, the guy was a dimwit, and chose baked beans as his last meal. "In many ways it was a fate worse than death."

Bullshitted by Wild Eyed Charlie on October 11, 2006 10:42 AM

Ah, as my imaginary Jewish granny would say, a menu to die for....

Bullshitted by Libby on October 11, 2006 01:25 PM

I love it that you adore food as much I do. The hour-by-hour summary was fabulous (and made me really hungry!).

Bullshitted by trouble on October 12, 2006 03:13 PM