Friends...

... it truly is amazing, it really is... the caliber of people that you meet on the internet... indeed, I am continually embraced by a state of monumental disappoint regarding most of you... no, really...

... I mean, I go and pour out my deepest fears to you knuckleheads and what do I get?... support?... comforting words?... a hearty "I got your back when the zombies come, Eric"?... no... none of that... not at all...

... instead, I get The Confabulator telling the zombies where I live... hordes of zombie chipmunks... brokeback zombies... TWICE.... ass raping zombies... a story about how zombies make crank calls during thunderstorms.... Elisson poking more fun at my phobia... even my buddy Shadowscope heebied my jeebie... and then there was this... an anatomically correct zombiegirl doll - behold...

zombiegirl.jpg

... oh, and even corporate zombies... and zombie cats...


... oh, but the list continues... so where else was the love shown?..... well, there was a poem about zombified spiders in my back yard... a mention of cannibalistic hillbillies.... even poor Erica up in Brooklyn felt the effects of the Undead deluge and had her some nightmares... and I even got one of these.... Check it out...

velocizomby.jpg

... and now?... I just checked my mailbox and found this little baby courtesy of my only blogson... see?...

zombiebook.jpg

.. you people should be completely ashamed of yourselves.. picking on a poor, frail, gentle, meek redhead like me....

.... but hey, I know now... and I've learned my lesson... the next time?... I'm telling you guys that I am afraid of scantily clad brunette librarian chicks with horn-rimmed glasses and garter belts....

by Eric on September 19, 2006 | Bullshit (21) | TrackBack (0) | Blogging
Bullshit So Far

No fair, dude... I was afraid of them first!!!

Bullshitted by That 1 Guy on September 19, 2006 06:34 PM

Brunettes, that is.

Bullshitted by That 1 Guy on September 19, 2006 06:35 PM

yeah... well, I'm afraid of Mathew Mcgonaughy, naked with a set of drums and som doobage!

Bullshitted by holder on September 19, 2006 06:55 PM

looks like the penguin room is now the "zombie and penguin " room...unless of course, someone locates a zombie penguin

and that is another story

Bullshitted by Armywifetoddlermom on September 19, 2006 07:14 PM

Dude. I know I dont come over here enough because I need to link you and always forget. I have a guest blog about halloween I want you to look at, it is a war thing..

http://erin-obrien.blogspot.com/

Bullshitted by Bostick on September 19, 2006 07:24 PM

Damn - RSM beat me to it. Just read a review of World War Z and it's supposed to be excellent. And...it's fulla zombies!!!

Bullshitted by Elisson on September 19, 2006 08:32 PM

Ya know, there is Zombie Porn.

Don't ask how I know that, but it's true.

Bullshitted by Contagion on September 19, 2006 09:16 PM

I found a link to a picture of Zombie Penguins for you.

Bullshitted by Bou on September 19, 2006 09:44 PM

I think the link didn't work. I'll email it to you...

Bullshitted by Bou on September 19, 2006 09:46 PM

Eric,
Maybe I can find something on the subject. Maybe Zombie Dentists?

Bullshitted by Jerry on September 19, 2006 11:39 PM

I read this and naturally I considered the prospect of Zombie Clowns, which gave me a case of the hot squirts.

Bullshitted by Jim - PRS on September 20, 2006 12:14 AM

Zombie clowns...Zombie dentists...Zombie penguins...Zombie porn...where, oh where is the love??!

Bullshitted by Jean on September 20, 2006 04:49 AM

"oral" history. heh.

Bullshitted by Lisa W. on September 20, 2006 05:27 AM

we love zombies.

and we love Eric enough to help him overcome his dismay at the thought of shambling undead reanimated hordes seeking to kill and devour, and not necessarily in that order.

I mean, if they want to get you, they will. They'll just keep coming back.

Kind of like librarians in my life. Eric Prepped his house by arming every room in case of Zombies... I put in a library... we make our reality.

Bullshitted by RSM on September 20, 2006 05:28 AM

Poor Erica, indeed. Last night I dreamt about turds in a punchbowl whilst attending a blogmeet in my pajamas.

I'm really thinking I need to take me some kind of sabbatical from you cornhole-zombie-gator-clown lovin' freaks.

Bullshitted by erica on September 20, 2006 08:09 AM

I am thinking this might have to stop. It might get out of hand then we would have a repeat of the Velcoquitter.

Bullshitted by jamesoldguy on September 20, 2006 12:03 PM

That's the spirit. Throw some reverse psychology at the them. And for the record if anybody is thinking of scaring me, I'm terrified of really good sticky buds and large amounts of money...

Bullshitted by Libby on September 20, 2006 12:17 PM

Hey Eric, honey, you haven't seen this yet, have you?

Bullshitted by Raging Mom on September 20, 2006 02:26 PM

http://www.thesouthwillriseagain-themovie.com/synopsis.html

Dang it.

Bullshitted by Raging Mom on September 20, 2006 02:28 PM

BUH HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ain't friends GRAND?

Bullshitted by Maeve on September 20, 2006 05:31 PM

Eric --

Mmmmm.... hornrimmed glasses... librarian...

You realize of course that I already have a redhead. And she's a knockout.

But.... hornrimmed..... Mmmmmm.

Bob

Bullshitted by Bob Baird on September 21, 2006 07:52 PM