Updike...

.... The rope that I braided a few weeks ago is being put to very good use... and I could not be more happy with the primitive results.... Indeed, my plans for complete hillbillification of the European Missus continue at pace...

... it has not all gone according to schedule though... the occasional hiccups have happened, of course... but there always are hiccups when one attempts such sweeping societal changes such as this... but I fight each battle in a new and cunning way.... for instance, she continues to loathe pinto beans & diced onions.. and will not touch a pone of cornbread were her very life to depend upon it... but I HAVE managed to force skillet-fried okra and yellow squash down her neck often enough that she now actually asks for it every-so-often... so, as you can see, we are halfway down the gnarly path already....

... but I cannot express fully enough the great feeling of pride I have this afternoon...mercy.... It all happened when, quite accidentally, I chanced to look out the glass dining room door and see my Scottish Lass reclining in the hammock.... absolutely replete.... fluffy cat curled at her sprawled knee while she swayed... tumbler of Merlot sitting just within rocking-reach on the grassy ground... book turned just-so... angled perfectly to allow her to scan the sunlit pages through her Jacqueline Onassis replica sunglasses..... all the while wearing a wonderfully politically incorrect tee-shirt.... Braless... with one arm cast back over her shoulder grasping the braided, twine line... rocking herself in complete redneck bliss...

.... Culture?... I got your culture right here, boys and girls.... John friggin Updike being read - midsummer - by a chick in her first halter-top.... Honestly, you can't make this shit up.... Sunday evenings... wow... you just never know what you'll get.....

by Eric on August 06, 2006 | Bullshit (6) | TrackBack (0) | Psycho Rants
Bullshit So Far

Oh heavens... You *have* arrived... : )

Bullshitted by Richmond on August 6, 2006 06:47 PM

Back at 'ya Eric. I'll take dull over irritating any day! That scene you described sounds great!

BTW, don't forget my World Famous CaptainSQL Project Manager Motivational Seminar, at one of the parks near me. Selected project managers will be encouraged to get in touch with their nature by donning native buckskin and antlers during their overnighters in the woods. Starts this fall, simlultaneous to deer season.

Bullshitted by Cappy on August 6, 2006 09:02 PM

... good God, Cappy... I hope we dont shoot no one by mistake...

Bullshitted by Eric on August 6, 2006 10:20 PM

Eric,
I guess it's His and Hers matching hammocks now, eh?

Bullshitted by Jerry on August 7, 2006 12:04 AM

It all sounds so idyllic.

Bullshitted by Libby on August 7, 2006 09:25 AM

She's arrived if she was bare foot and wearing cutoffs!

Bullshitted by Junebugg on August 7, 2006 09:56 AM