Water...

... the backside of Hell's Halfacre is tinderbox dry today... the grass crunched noticeably as I strode out to the patio this afternoon... two weeks without rainfall must seem like an eternity to those poor plants...

... I suppose I could water the lawn... but that just doesn't seem right... it seems somehow more right to let nature run her course... pick off the weaker ones... dry up the feeble ones... besides, when it comes to my domain, I am a fickle master... a turn of my wrist could let loose cool water from the spigot, sure... and maybe I'll do just that later on... but as for now, I say "let them burn"...

... strange, really.. I am doing the same thing with the crepe myrtle in the front yard too... the Japanese beetles flock there by the hundreds and copulate vigorously on her leaves before enjoying an after-screw leafy-lunch... and I know that I could douse the plant with chemicals to make the bugs go away... but I don't... I let them eat their fill.... and three times a day I steal out to the plant with my trusty spray-bottle and target individual beetle pairs... and I snuff out their lives...

... it is pure selfishness, I know, not protecting the bush... but killing the beetles is mildly entertaining... and I know I won't make a dent in the overall population of beetles next year... but then again, neither would dusting the myrtle with pesticide either... the bugs would simply dine elsewhere....

.... so that is the question, I guess... is it wrong of me to sacrifice the crepe myrtle's foliage for what little glee I glean from massacring the beetles three times a day?...

... in other words, gentle rubberneckers... should I water my lawn, or not?....

by Eric on July 26, 2006 | Bullshit (8) | TrackBack (0) | Ummm, Ok....
Bullshit So Far

To water, or not to water, that be the question. I reckon it all depends whether or not you have one of them John Deere Greene tractors to ride around on an mor the grass after it grows. Iy you like to play farmer like I do then water hell out of it and then go burn up five bucks worth of grass. But if you don't like to cut the grass then cement the place and paint it green and no one will know the difference from a distance. Put a round ball hoop on both ends and have yourself a green basketball court. Lots of things one can do to keep from cutting the grass when they are too damn tight to water it...

Bullshitted by GUYK on July 26, 2006 04:33 PM

Poor lawn... In my infinite empathy with all living things I say water. A little good grass karma never hurt anyone....

Bullshitted by Richmond on July 26, 2006 04:47 PM

My answer is pour a nice scotch over rocks and have that.

Bullshitted by Maeve on July 26, 2006 06:11 PM

GUYK was diplomatic, basically if you have a lawn to water or not is all about you. I've watched people replace their lawns with rocks for crying out loud.

It sort of goes along with feeding the birds. Then those damn squirrels find a way to steal the feed. I had fun this evening though shooting golf balls that had been driven into the yard and thus scaring all the animals away briefly.

Meaning, no matter what you do, nature endures.

-lco

Bullshitted by Lance Osborne on July 26, 2006 08:06 PM

Water!

Bullshitted by vicki on July 26, 2006 08:55 PM

Throw some ice on the lawn before you water.

Everyone deserves a drink on the rocks every now and then.

Bullshitted by Rave on July 26, 2006 09:00 PM

Can you sayyyyyyyy resod. lol
We water everyday, we live in a valley with a creek.......... well ok a swale with a ditch full of water.

Bullshitted by ken on July 26, 2006 11:57 PM

Do whatever cranks your tank, baby.

Bullshitted by Lisa W. on July 27, 2006 06:20 AM