Sylvia...

... I had to say farewell to my old Audi friend today... I'd known him since 2003... he was a great pal, and he'll be truly missed.... his name was Doug and we'd shared many, many fine moments... moments that I'll long continue to remember with a smile...

... but today I had to pass ole Doug along to greener pastures... let him rest and be buffed and prepared gently for a pre-owned Audi parking lot somewhere in the southeast... so with great sadness, I tell you all that he is no longer with me.... he is gone... my little, quick, handsome silver companion is away....

.. and in a way, I am quite sad... I really am going to miss him greatly.....

... however, having said that, his replacement whispered sweet nothings in my ear all the way back from Knoxville... and guys, her voice is as sweet as honey..... her name is Sylvia... and she has the whitest, smoothest, most perfect skin...

ragtop_small.jpg

... and so far, well, I'm not letting the fact that she likes to go topless once in a while bother me too much... after all, it takes time to truly bond with a vehicle... and she and I are just now getting to know each other.... Me and Sylvia, people... I think we're going to hit it off just fine....

... you know, I really never thought I'd ever own a convertible... mercy... wonders never cease...

by Eric on July 20, 2006 | Bullshit (20) | TrackBack (0) | Psycho Rants
Bullshit So Far

Better wear sunscreen cause I hear you readheads burn easily. Oh yeah, don't be one of those weirdos that rides around with the top down and the windows up.

Bullshitted by Ironnerd on July 20, 2006 09:04 PM

Doug? Am I the last to know this?

Bullshitted by Bou on July 20, 2006 09:06 PM

... I'm searching for some kind of hat, Ironnerd... perhaps a helmet...

... sorry, Bou... I never named him while he was with me... I feared he'd rebel.. but when I handed the keys to the attendant, it just slipped out... "take good care of Doug, man... he's been good to me.." ....

.. honestly?... I didn't even know that was his name until this afternoon....

Bullshitted by Eric on July 20, 2006 09:09 PM

Geez Eric. The car looked and smelled like it was brand new. It was the ticket wasn't it? You blamed the car for your first traffic ticket and that's why you had to get rid of it.

Bullshitted by Denny on July 20, 2006 09:53 PM

Ave atque vale, Doug. We hardly knew ye...

...but Sylvia looks like a seriously cool ride. Enjoy her in good health...and watch out for them red arrows...

Bullshitted by Elisson on July 20, 2006 10:55 PM

Convertible? If you've never owned one before, I got a few sawbucks sayin' it will be your first and last one, but that's just me sayin' that and all.

Good looking wheels, bro. Have fun with it.

Bullshitted by bitterman on July 20, 2006 11:16 PM

Next...you'll be fittin' her for a bra.

Bullshitted by marcus on July 20, 2006 11:37 PM

A convertible? Are you even old enough to be having a mid-life crisis?

Bullshitted by Jerry on July 21, 2006 01:10 AM

New car smell! New car smell!!!

At the carwash I go to they actually have an air freshener called "New Car Smell." How goofey is that?!

But congrats on the new car. Very cool. I've always loved a convertible....even if you never put the top down, you know that you can. Oh yeah!

Bullshitted by DogsDontPurr on July 21, 2006 01:47 AM

*stompin feet*

I want one, I want one

Bullshitted by armywifetoddlermom on July 21, 2006 07:37 AM

Wow. Sylvia is pretty hot! Is Fiona okay with this?? ; )

Bullshitted by Richmond on July 21, 2006 09:11 AM

seems to me if there is some adage that could be paraphrased for this.' when I was young I thought as a youth and drove a ragtop, But now I drive a pickup.' or something like that. The biggest problem with ragtops is that you gotta hold on to your toupee. Now that is hard to do when you already have a beer in one hand and sweetthing in the other and are trying to steer with the knees.

Bullshitted by GUYK on July 21, 2006 09:43 AM

seems to me if there is some adage that could be paraphrased for this.' when I was young I thought as a youth and drove a ragtop, But now I drive a pickup.' or something like that. The biggest problem with ragtops is that you gotta hold on to your toupee. Now that is hard to do when you already have a beer in one hand and sweetthing in the other and are trying to stear with the knees.

Bullshitted by GUYK on July 21, 2006 09:43 AM

Trust me. Once ya go topless, you'll never go back.
In the fall when it's sorta cool out, put Sylvia's top down, turn on her heat and go for a nighttime drive. It's heaaaaaaven.

Bullshitted by Pammy on July 21, 2006 10:35 AM

Trust me. Once ya go topless, you'll never go back.
In the fall when it's sorta cool out, put Sylvia's (she's gorgeous, btw) top down, turn on her heat and go for a nighttime drive. It's heaaaaaaven.

Bullshitted by Pammy on July 21, 2006 10:36 AM

Nice ride...enjoy her!

Bullshitted by Lisa W. on July 21, 2006 11:29 AM

Don't let us catch you fucking this car, Cat

Bullshitted by Catfish on July 21, 2006 12:37 PM

All I want to know is if you will adopt me?

-lco

Bullshitted by Lance Osborne on July 21, 2006 07:56 PM

Sweet ride, Bro. Good luck with her.

Bullshitted by Jim - PRS on July 21, 2006 08:00 PM

That thing has "ticket" written all over it...I'm just saying.

Bullshitted by Yabu on July 21, 2006 09:30 PM