Safari...

.... well, I said my farewells to Joe about noon.... we lunched on bacon, cheddar, and mayo sandwiches while he packed... mercy... ½ a pound of bacon on each sandwich.. hey, I know how to treat guests, people.... nothing says ˜comfort' like a half-pound of crunchy bacon.... anyway, I surely do not envy the man his journey northwards... 11 hours on the road is a mighty task... and too damn much like hard work, if you ask me....

... but yesterday's safari was damned exciting... we prowled the garage, peeped deeply into the shadowy corners of the house, and lifted various pots, boxes, and lawn implements in search of our wily target... all to no avail.....

... of course, we fortified ourselves for the hazardous duty with some fine 18-year old Glenlivet before setting off... (a gift from Joe that was greatly appreciated)... it was hotter than darkest Africa as we made our way around the lawn... but we eventually sighted the signature web of a black widow down in the front yard by the mailbox.... we were stoked.. closer inspection revealed the dried husks of many a hapless varmint laying scattered on the dry ground beneath the crevice.... it was a moment of high drama, to be sure.... but we kept our nerve.... hey, check it out... here's what a black widow's casa looks like....

black_widow_web_small.jpg

... we finally tracked a large female down, but she had backed up to the very back of an 8-inch crack in the creosote-covered timbers... with the aid of a fairly large twig, we both made attempts to dislodge her for her photo-op... but sadly this was all in vain.... she was simply not in the mood to be trifled with by two buzzing Mutual of Omaha rejects..... still, I took a few photos with the flash on.... but the whole image ended up out of focus.... so there you go... spiders 1, Eric and Joe 0....

.... I will say this for Joe, though.... while the man is a complete nancy when it comes to snakes... he's a veritable "Tarzan on a vine" when it comes to spiders... fear is a four-letter word to that boy... he spent the entire hunt talking about how he wanted to hold a black widow in his hand and have me take a picture.... I tell ya, the boy has nerves of steel on occasion....

... you know, I am continually impressed by the absolute fearlessness of the bloggers who visit my home... I probably need to work on thinking up scarier shit for us to do when they get here....

by Eric on July 03, 2006 | Bullshit (11) | TrackBack (0) | Psycho Rants
Bullshit So Far

"scarier shit" on the same day you invite me up for some time on the deck?

Oh lordy...

Bullshitted by RSM on July 3, 2006 05:17 PM

No gators, please.

Bullshitted by Jim - PRS on July 3, 2006 07:49 PM

Hell, man, I'd have tol' Joe to go sit in the corner... the way he attracts "issues" you could've had one of 'em on him in no time, and been speed dialin' RSM to fix his shit...

I still then the "snipe huntin'" would've got him man...

Bullshitted by RedNeck on July 3, 2006 08:05 PM

First, I read this and thought, "little boys in men's bodies... some things never change". Just substitute a cup of Koolaid for that glass of scotch and you're set.

Now, for this 'need to work on thinking up scarier shit for us to do when they get here...' . Uh. No thanks. Tell me right now you are NOT taking my boys hunting for black widows next week!!!

Bullshitted by Bou on July 4, 2006 08:55 AM

.. never fear, Bou... y'all will be in safe hands... no scary stuff, I promise...

Bullshitted by Eric on July 4, 2006 08:58 AM

I'm not so hot on the whole spider deal myself, and I live in a really bad place to be creeped out by them. Well, all bugs fall into the creep me out category.

Bullshitted by Moogie on July 4, 2006 08:59 AM

Eric,
I just missed Joe yesterday. I flew back home and called his cell from the airport. He had just passed my exit a few minutes before. I'm thinking of driving to northern Illinois next week for a visit.

Sounds like you wild game hunters had fun.

Bullshitted by Jerry on July 4, 2006 09:03 AM

I'm with Bou. Keep the Spiders at bay for me, please! ::shudder::

Bullshitted by Richmond on July 4, 2006 12:11 PM

Spiders have legs, snakes don't. Something moving as fast as they can, without legs, ain't right.

It's downright creepy...

And thanks again, brother. 'Twas a blast!

Bullshitted by That 1 Guy on July 4, 2006 02:42 PM

I'm terrified by doe-eyed young lasses with large breasts but I shall steel my nerves and confront my fears.

Bullshitted by zonker on July 6, 2006 05:07 PM

Oh, hell, you old blowhard. I learned Sam McGee from my father 60 years ago when I was in the cradle. Just went looking for the words to print them out, came across your website... COOL. Robert Service: Much underrated. I'd rather spend time with his work than with the work of most of the so-called "important" poets of the last century and a half.

When I have some time, I'm going to fully explore your website. Looks like a hell of a lot of fun.

Stop screaming at me, though. I'm on your side!

Pat Murphy
wolfwoman@ltis.net

Bullshitted by Pat Murphy on July 9, 2006 05:21 PM