Watched....

... sometimes it is a violent place here, people... foreboding almost... even the birds tweet nervously with a certain knowledge of approaching doom... indeed, sometimes you can just feel it in the air...

... a few days ago, Acidman showed us all a photo of a palmetto bug he squished in his house...

... well, today I have been thinking about that bug... and the fact that it was alive and scurrying freely about his crackerbox..

... in one aspect, that palmetto bug had no idea (before it was ceremoniously smashed) how very, very lucky it was....

.. here?... I live in a true corner of the savage garden... everything is at risk.... and all who come here are lost at one point or another... it is dangerous... beautiful and enthralling, but deadly... each bush, insect, or critter is either hunting, hunted, or is generally unpleasant... and most forms of life in my back lawn end up being either feasts or devourers... plants and animals alike....

... case in point.. while relaxing on my deck earlier this evening, four different species of spider eyed me with their bulbous projections... sizing me up, undoubtedly.... and were I to be suddenly downsized to their world, I know I'd have been lunch.... but I even managed to capture two with the camera while I was being gazed upon.... check them out... first we have a mutant seven-legged green spider who spent his time leaping from the patio furniture to my knee and back... impressive, no?....

predator_green_small.jpg

... and then we have a very inquisitive jumping spider.... looking a lot more butch that Mr. Green, for sure... just chilling on the iron patio table.. waiting for his next victim to wander by...

predator_jumping_small.jpg

... but oh no, that's not all.... I snapped a real badass the other day while he was hunting on my deck... one that would definitely have bitten me if I'd pissed him off... a Six-spotted Green Tiger Beetle....

predator_beetle_small.jpg

... pretty, yeah... and one hell of a killer...

... a fat, juicy palmetto bug wouldn't last too long around these parts....he'd be hemmed in at every angle by hungry beasts in two seconds flat.....

... I'm telling you guys, it's a tough life I've got.... this is a dangerous place... hell, a weaker man than I wouldn't even step foot outside...

by Eric on June 17, 2006 | Bullshit (8) | TrackBack (0) | Psycho Rants
Bullshit So Far

Jumping on your knee?!?!?!?!?!?

My awe of you deepens....

Bullshitted by drc on June 17, 2006 09:38 PM

.... the pictures kinda lie... the spider was pretty small.... so I just let it have its fun....

Bullshitted by Eric on June 17, 2006 10:12 PM

Yet another argument for northern living...*shudder*...I'd take a boa constrictor anyday over a spider...ick!

Bullshitted by Lisa W. on June 17, 2006 10:21 PM

Sounds like a Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom episode; to wit: While Eric wrestles the deadly spider hordes on the deck, I'll be smoking this fat joint from the comfort and safety of an orbiting helicopter.....un-to wit.

Bullshitted by bitterman on June 17, 2006 11:35 PM

Palmetto bug - doesn't worry me
Rattle snake - no problem, just grab a machete
Spider - EWWW! Call Dad...

Please, please, please tell me you killed the evil little boogers.

Bullshitted by LadyGunn on June 18, 2006 04:20 AM

... sadly, no spiders or beetles were harmed in the making of this post... sorry...

Bullshitted by Eric on June 18, 2006 07:49 AM

Yikes. I wouldn't set foot on that deck with all those dangerous creatures out there. That middle one looks like a cross between a helicopter and a Teletubbie.

Bullshitted by Libby on June 18, 2006 07:27 PM

I had a jumping spider for a pet once.

Kept him in an old Miracle whip jar and fed him cockroaches.

Worked out great for both of us. I *hate* cockroaches.

Bullshitted by Harvey on June 23, 2006 03:34 PM