Bugs...

.. near the end of last summer, my Mother insisted that I take two giant ferns she'd hand-reared the previous season... and they were beauts... each of them about the size of a 55 gallon drum with a green, leafy, perm... she warned me as I stowed them for the winter in the garage... "make sure you spray them everyday when summer comes... the Japanese beatles beetles LOVE them... don't let'em get eaten up.." ...

.... well, boys and girls, she wasn't just whistlin' Dixie.. I made myself a turkey sandwich a few minutes ago and wandered out to the deck... and that fern was infested with wildly-humping pairs of Japanese beetles... there were probably 75-100 mating pairs that I could see... and I hate to imagine how many more pairs (that were less-enthusiastic about being sexual exhibitionists) were nooked away somewhere deep within the fern's curls...

.... Damnation... no wonder my poor widowed Momma wanted rid of those ferns... I'm going to be faced with this writhing mound of sexual depravity every day... all summer...

... be careful of people offering gifts, children... there is always a catch... always... and sometimes, well, even your Mother will pull a fast one on you...

by Eric on June 12, 2006 | Bullshit (11) | TrackBack (1) | Psycho Rants
ยป Gut Rumbles links with: i may crap-blog...
Bullshit So Far

Didju just post bug porn?

Bullshitted by marcus on June 12, 2006 10:25 PM

... yes... and it aint my fault.....

Bullshitted by Eric on June 12, 2006 11:09 PM

bug pron at 9 am. Sheesh, let a girl get some tea first!

Bullshitted by oddybobo on June 13, 2006 08:33 AM

"wildly humping"....hummmmm The last time I saw that was when two bactrian camels were having a race on the Discovery Channel.

Bullshitted by DanToom on June 13, 2006 01:08 PM

Holy crap! You have more interesting interactions with wild life at your house... Bug pron. That's definitely new...

Bullshitted by Richmond on June 13, 2006 01:30 PM

naa man, this ain't bug porn. you gotta see Florida screw bugs when they are smashing on your windshield so think and heavy your windshild washer and wipers will not get them fast enough for you to see to drive. These are not only horny little critters but gutsy as well...

Bullshitted by GUYK on June 13, 2006 05:49 PM

yeah...those love bugs are the real porn stars....i seen'em in 3 somes once when i was going about 70 mph.....

Bullshitted by marcus on June 13, 2006 11:00 PM

Ah, bug porn...

There's been a spate of it over this side of the pond, too.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/misty69/156567033/in/set-72057594113795020/

Bullshitted by Misty on June 14, 2006 05:05 AM

Ahhh. You made my day.

Bullshitted by vw bug on June 14, 2006 02:27 PM

It's a good thing that most the plants in my yard, except weeds, die under my care. Now I don't have to witness such disturbing images.

Bullshitted by Contagion on June 14, 2006 09:52 PM

at least contagion and I have something in common. Still it doesn't seem to apply to ant invasions. And aren't moms great?

Bullshitted by Tink on June 15, 2006 05:30 PM