.... earlier today I picked up a few boxes of photos from my Mother.... stuff that she has been keeping for years and years finally became too much for her, and she purged.... and I'm the lucky beneficiary....

... so I have spent the last few hours going through about 75,000 photos of family, friends, and people that I have never seen before in my life....

.... random bits of photographic evidence are emerging though... proof of things that I long ago buried deep in my childhood psyche.... crazy stuff, people.... shocking stuff.... scarring images of little toddler Eric that should have never been seen again are now lying scattered across my living room carpet...

... the horror... the horror... Colonel Kurtz didn't know the half of it, gentle reader...

.... and just for the record to all Mommas out there, it is NOT OKAY for a Mother to test out perms on HER MALE CHILDREN before deciding that they are of good enough quality to recommend to the Lady's Circle the next week.... and it is DOUBLE not okay to test them on a REDHEADED KID!...

... yes, yes... I was eight... and I had managed to forget about it until just a few minutes ago... bloody hell, just imagine Opie Taylor in Technicolor with an afro.... Jesus Christ, and people wonder why I turned out the way I have.... well now I have proof that it wasn't my fault.... I am the VICTIM here!....

UPDATE!: .... lookit... even before I got perm'd against my will, I was STILL being ABUSED!... check this out... I don't care who you are, this is just wrong... sure, I know that my Momma and Daddy lurved me, but WTF?... I look like I'm John Travolta's lovechild...


... and THAT just ain't right...

by Eric on May 30, 2006 | Bullshit (21) | TrackBack (0) | Psycho Rants
Bullshit So Far

But damned dude - even with all that you sure were a cutie!!!!

Bullshitted by Tammi on May 30, 2006 07:00 PM

I want that outfit for my boys... still got it? I might as well add that to my list of things. Like the cut off shorts and hair barrettes. And I am being nice enough not to post them.

Bullshitted by vw bug on May 30, 2006 07:31 PM

You were adorable!!! We all have those bad 70's suit pictures - I wore a lime green suit the first day of grade one; it was awful, I'll never forget it.

Bullshitted by Lisa W. on May 30, 2006 08:27 PM

I don't see no curls? Why can't I comment? My email addy is questionable content?

Bullshitted by livey on May 30, 2006 09:40 PM

Oh heck give me a break: You love it....pretty little son of a bitch. You probably got your first kiss in kindergarten.

Bullshitted by John Climacus on May 30, 2006 09:55 PM

.. didn't everyone, John?...

Bullshitted by Eric on May 30, 2006 09:57 PM

Good Lord are you a clone of your father. Did your Mama participate at all except for the incubation? Wow.

Bullshitted by Bou on May 30, 2006 11:07 PM

If it will make you feel any better. Go look at the photo Ellison put up.
You have an excuse, you were a child and had no choice.
Him, well....

Bullshitted by Maeve on May 30, 2006 11:41 PM

At least you were young enough that you can still say your parents were dressing you. I had my junior high, high school, and early college years in the 70s. Oh, the horrors of 70s fashion!

Bullshitted by Jerry on May 31, 2006 03:10 AM

Ah dunno, Opie - you were pretty cute back in your Snot-Nose Days. Except for that (gag) Mini-Me Leisure Suit...for which the blame must rest on your parents, not on you.

In 1975, I had no such excuse. My sartorial sins, as it were, could only be laid at mine own feet.

That pic of you and your daddy is priceless.

Bullshitted by Elisson on May 31, 2006 05:28 AM

I notice your fist is clenched in that picture. It appears that even at that age you were all set to throw a punch if anyone mocked the threads.

Bullshitted by zonker on May 31, 2006 07:46 AM

Blue is definitely your color...

Bullshitted by Libby on May 31, 2006 08:51 AM


I looked exactly like that in my younger days except I had brown hair. Same haircut, clothes, everything.

Long lost twins?

Bullshitted by Quality Weenie on May 31, 2006 12:04 PM

Oh gawd. You are SOOOOOOOOOOO fucking cute.

Bullshitted by agent bedhead on May 31, 2006 01:45 PM

Hey man! You better give that dang suit back to James Brown 'cause in that picture it looks like it's makin' you Feeeeeel Goot! I bet you still wear it when you go to town...

Bullshitted by RedNeck on May 31, 2006 03:02 PM

Bejus! I wouldn't have posted THAT picture. Your reputation as a bad-ass Marine is totally destroyed. You look like...


Child porno freaks all over the world are whacking wood and slobbering over YOU now. Are you HAPPY?

Bullshitted by Acidman on May 31, 2006 05:13 PM

... well shit, Acidman... you could have least spelled "Child porno freaks" wrong to keep me out of the search engines... bastard...

Bullshitted by Eric on May 31, 2006 05:27 PM

Aww... heheheheh. I've got some pics that would give you a good run for the money. But, unlike you, I won't be posting them.

At least not til the money's right.

BTW, disco man, cool pic of you and your Pa.

Bullshitted by T1G on May 31, 2006 09:41 PM a great picture. Scan it, and put it in the lock box. I'm serious.

Bullshitted by Yabu on May 31, 2006 10:48 PM

Very cute picture!

One question. When are you going to post the one about the perm? :)

Bullshitted by seawitch on May 31, 2006 11:49 PM

Awww, you were cute then as you are now!

Bullshitted by liv on June 1, 2006 10:20 PM