Plague...

.... I was just out back enjoying a wee siesta when a cloud of tiny, red beasties descended upon me like a screaming horde of chipmunks on a coke-addled biker... yes, yes, it was that bad...

... I ripped off my shirt and swatted about six hundred of them to death with it before I retreated to my medicine cabinet via my liquor cabinet...

... now I am inside the house sporting a fresh sheen of Skin So Soft and an icy gin and tonic... I will not be denied, campers... if I am attacked again, I will attempt to capture one and discern his phylum... why?... well, because I just know you rubberneckers are interested in whatever critter that's brave enough to harsh my mellow....

by Eric on May 28, 2006 | Bullshit (12) | TrackBack (1) | Drinking
ยป Shadowscope links with: And you thought that catching bumblebees was bad
Bullshit So Far

I am going to be wearing a thin layer of deet through September...

I swear, I can hear there little teeny tiny voices as I step outside, "Oh look! A buffet!!!" Bastards.

Bullshitted by Richmond on May 28, 2006 04:53 PM

Jawja sand gnats don't fly as far north as Tennessee--- unless.... unless... GLOBAL WARMING caused it!!!!

OHMYGAWD, Eric! You'll be getting killer bees, flu-infected birds, illegal aliens and hordes of flaming chipmunks next. CALL AL GORE!!! NOW!!!

After all, that whacktoid claims to be from Tennessee...

Bullshitted by Acidman on May 28, 2006 04:54 PM

.. definitely global warming... I've never seen critters like these before... I suspect they are Guatemalans... probably snuck in on a unwashed pile of cheap bananas or something... either way, they ran me into the house.... and that just pisses me off...

... and I am not touching that Al Gore remark...

Bullshitted by Eric on May 28, 2006 05:00 PM

woohoo - you ripped off your shirt? Anyone get any pictures?

Bullshitted by Lisa W. on May 28, 2006 05:04 PM

So that's where they went! Over the mountain to Eric's house. I was planting my garden and was attacked, you should see my legs and arms! I'm still itching.

I greased up with Skin So Soft and worked a couple more hours...no bugs....and no gin and tonic, either.

Bullshitted by vicki on May 28, 2006 09:19 PM

Whatever...they're probably from out-of-town. I suspect Belize...or, they could be Tennessee Jackanoops. Those noopies are some Bad Bad Juju.

Word brother...

Bullshitted by Yabu on May 28, 2006 11:49 PM

"descended upon me like [a] screaming horde of chipmunks on a coke-addled biker..."

I was wondering how long it would take for random quotations from The Story to start popping up.

This made me laugh so hard, I shit a blood-clot.

Bullshitted by Elisson on May 29, 2006 06:00 AM

Our big ass yellow flies are starting to bite. That means that fish are getting ready to bite also. The only thing bad about a yellow fly, when he bites you, he leaves a very large bite with a mound on your skin to heal.

Bullshitted by Catfish on May 29, 2006 07:12 AM

I think someone needs to do a podcast of the flaming chipmunk story for those of us loyal minions who couldn't make the gig. Clearly sounds like one that should be passed on from generation to generation...

Bullshitted by Libby on May 29, 2006 08:47 AM

Nice to be quoted... I think. Definately one of those happenings that has taken a life of it's own, no recreation could do it justice. What is it with you and bugs? Those little black things you were infested with here in TX, I hadn't seen 'em before, and havn't seen 'em since.

Bullshitted by knine on May 29, 2006 09:03 AM

... I'd love to, Libby... but scenes like that just can't be recreated... you just had to be there... I'm sure K-nine will agree...

Bullshitted by Eric on May 29, 2006 09:14 AM

Yep ... ya had to be there.

Bullshitted by Jim - PRS on May 30, 2006 09:53 PM