... I've just spent two hours of my beloved Saturday afternoon going through three weeks of unopened mail... 90% of it was either credit card applications or charities begging for donations... but buried deep in the massive pile were a few real gems...

.. for instance, the Franciscan Friars of the Atonement still want to make me Catholic... which is pretty cool, I guess.... and now I have strange sort of necklace to go with the rosary they sent me on Easter... I think it has St. Anthony on it... hey, at least they want me on their team... and they are persistent too.... if they keep this up, I am going to send them a cheque for ten bucks...

... next up, the Indians in Montana that I have been helping out sent me an invitation to their high school graduation... complete with a photo of their senior class... look, like I said before, if you are going to ask me for money, follow their example... SASE and personal messages about how wonderful I am will definitely result in me sending you at least five bucks per month... and sending me a photo of young Indian lasses smiling sweetly is always acceptable...

... and lastly, well, y'all are really not going to believe this... I found a letter from the Department of the Army addressed to the Missus.... I looked up from the cheque book and remarked about it... she came through and opened it up...

.... evidently the Army wants her to join.... they need people in her occupation... for the occupation.. heh heh... sorry...

... I told her she should consider it... I mean, I've already taught her how to fieldstrip my AR-15... and she's a pretty good marksman.... she certainly knows how to give orders, too.... we'll see, I guess... I told her that they'd let her eat as much bacon as she wanted in the chowhall for breakfast, and I think that might have swayed her... she does like her some bacon...

... I'll be sure to keep y'all informed...

by Eric on May 27, 2006 | Bullshit (5) | TrackBack (0) | Psycho Rants
Bullshit So Far

If you send the Catholics ten bucks, they will surely start sending you medals and prayer cards. I'm told the prayer cards can be especially valuable if you hold onto them long enough.

Bullshitted by Libby on May 27, 2006 06:14 PM

Uh, permission to speak, sir. With all due respect, here in the United States we do spell the word "check." Just in case your travels have caused you to lose sense of your roots.

Also, we don't "queue," we "get in line." We don't "kiss cheeks," we shake hands. And we do carry sidearms when appropriate.

I hope you plan to take a cold shower and rejoin the world of the living before too long.

Bullshitted by John Climacus on May 28, 2006 12:38 AM

you had better discouage that move to the army PDQ! The army don't pay enough and (GOD FORBID) you might have to go to work!

Bullshitted by GUYK on May 28, 2006 10:44 AM

That red hair must've thrown the Catholics. They probably thought you were Irish. Mac vs Mc. Easy mistake.

I thought the Catholic Church was only pursuing illegal aliens these days. Those who speak Spanish. And can tan easily.

Don't be getting in that Communion line just yet. They may not want you as a member, but they'll gladly cash your check anyway. Hey, cathedral maintenance is expensive!

Bullshitted by Jerry on May 28, 2006 12:30 PM

I've met the missus. I've spent time with her. I've ridden in a car with her.

The Army likes bravery, but not adrenaline junkies.

Can you imagine her having to take her job on the road and driving a humvee?

Bullshitted by rsm on May 31, 2006 07:09 AM