... three rabbits were grazing in the back yard this morning as I got ready for my shower... I stood there at the window for a minute and watched the two males chase each other in wide, arcing circles as the female nibbled nonchalantly.... and I couldn't help but think to myself... "how bloody typical.."... men fussing and fighting over a woman who doesn't even give a toss one way or the other... and who probably thinks that BOTH of them are unworthy of sharing her warreny boudoir...

... and I had a similar experience a few weeks ago while sitting on the bridge at the Linn of Dee... the birds were going absolutely nuts and the tops of the Douglas Firs were filled with a cacophony of tweets and squawks.... the Mother-in-Law remarked about how pleasant it was to hear such glorious birdsong, and I replied that if we could really understand what the birdies were saying, well, we would be pretty shocked...

... she seemed curious, so I expanded upon the theme.... "see," said I calmly, "while the noises the birds are making might seem pleasing to our ears, what they are REALLY saying is not very nice... their calls mean a variety of things.... Such as ˜stay away from MY NEST!'... ˜LOOK at ME! I'm hot and ready for sex!'... ˜don't even THINK about grubbing for worms on MY PATCH of forest!'... ˜HEY, Miss Birdie!... just look at the size of MY plumage!'... ˜HOT STUD BIRD over HERE!!'... know what I mean?"... yeah, she didn't enjoy the conversation, but she got my point...

.... life, people, it is amazing... sure, it's fun to sit back and listen to the sweetly singing birds.... and it's a heartwarming sight to watch fluffy bunnies bouncing around the lawn.... and it is easy to get lost in the blooms of the garden flowers... but when you look a little closer, it's really pretty rough out there... and quite often - well, MOST of the time actually - that peaceful, serene scene you are enjoying is ALL about the poontang...

... anyway, I'm off to town to buy some lunch..

by Eric on May 26, 2006 | Bullshit (8) | TrackBack (0) | Thinking
Bullshit So Far

I can only imagine your MIL's face when you said that!!

Bullshitted by drc on May 26, 2006 12:43 PM

Yep, that is what life is all about, POONTANG! continuation of the species is the objective of every species..even humans although humans often appear to do their damnest to end the species instead of assuring that it continues...and humans are supposed to be smarted than an oak tree? maybe we are dummber than a box of rocks

Bullshitted by GUYK on May 26, 2006 01:11 PM

What I want to know is how you knew which were male and which were female. Seriously. Did you go out there and turn em over? Did they wave some naughty bits in your general direction? Inquiring minds wanna know! ;)

Bullshitted by oddybobo on May 26, 2006 01:18 PM

Eric, there is more to life than just poontang. There's that great cigarette you smoke after getting some poontang, that great candle-lit dinner you buy hoping to get some poontang later, that great bar tab you generate pouring likker into a woman so that she'll give you some poontang and... well, the list just goes on and on.

Bullshitted by Acidman on May 26, 2006 01:26 PM

Fluffy bunny poontang...

Yup, I never know what I'm gonna be blindsided with here. lol

Bullshitted by Richmond on May 26, 2006 03:37 PM

Eric --

As always, the distinctions lie inbedded in the language. There you are thinking that she is an idiot. There she is thinking that you are a lunatic. The Greek root for idiot is "unseen". You look for the hidden meaning, trying to uncover the 'real' meaning. The same Greek language for lunacy is controlled by moon, luna, wild, hysterical, naked. Truth is that both of these angels sit on our shoulders and whisper into our ears all the time. That is why all of us harbour good and evil at the same time. We never want to quiet down the birds because we are all afraid of our insane urge to burn down the tree holding the disputative birds and settle the argument once and for all.

Sort of like wishing for the silence stooping over Baghdad just after the switch is flipped to make the surrounding desert a foot thick layer of glass.

Like I said, Welcome back. You're just in time.


Bullshitted by Bob Baird on May 26, 2006 06:14 PM

... Bob, I think this is the best comment ever in the history of comments...

I've read it four times and still can't figure out what you are trying to say... You are The MAN!... just let me know if you ever want to guestpost here!...

Bullshitted by Eric on May 26, 2006 06:25 PM

Richmond - Congratulations on making Straight White Guy the #1 Google hit for "fluffy bunny poontang" :-)

Bullshitted by Harvey on June 1, 2006 08:21 AM