Tangerines...

... boy howdy, I'm excited.. don't I look excited?... mercy, I sure am...

.. I was bouncing off the walls this morning trying to get everything ready for the trip tomorrow, and the Wife finally says.. "dammit!... quit fidgeting so much!... do something useful!.. "... so naturally I swooped into snogging mode... this wasn't shined on, and instead I was told to go shopping as we were out of coffee...

... I started rushing around, putting my shoes on, getting everything ready... the Missus sat on the couch drawing up the shopping list and watching Con Air (she's a huge Nicolas Cage fan)...

... anyway, cut to the chase... I'm wandering up and down the aisles of the supermarket crossing things off the list... coffee, ground beef (I'm grilling burgers tonight), cigarettes, tonic water, and tangerines...

... so I get back home and I'm sitting on the deck with sewing-machine leg and biting my fingernails... when suddenly the Missus comes out and says to me... "hey, baby... what's with the bag of oranges?.. ".... "ahh, sorry... they didn't have any tangerines... so I bought oranges instead... "...

... "okay... but WHY did you buy a whole bag of oranges when we're flying to Scotland on Tuesday?... we'll never eat them all between now and then.. "...

... "they were on the list you gave me, dear... that's why I bought them.. right below coffee, you had written tangerines.."...

... "huh?... I didn't write tangerines... "...

... "here," says I, digging into my jeans pocket for the list, "right here... see?... it says tangerines... "...

... walking slowly over to my chair, she leaned in and read the note... looked up at me and smiled... "that says tranquilizers, dear... you are in desperate need of them... "...

... ouch... so yeah, she was trying to be funny... tranquilizers, indeed.... but now we have this gigantic bag of oranges on the bar in the kitchen...

... damnation... anyone in Austin want an orange tomorrow?... I've got plenty to go around....

by Eric on April 27, 2006 | Bullshit (11) | TrackBack (0) | Blogging
Bullshit So Far

You need to calm down if for no other reason than to conserve your strength! (Oh, and remember to pack the camera, okay??)

Bullshitted by Richmond on April 27, 2006 01:59 PM

Well, I know they've got to be a pain in the neck to pack, but if you bring any, I'll help eat 'em. I'm an orange freak.

Bullshitted by Bou on April 27, 2006 02:22 PM

Can you juggle? There has got to be a use for them . . .

Bullshitted by Oddybobo on April 27, 2006 02:50 PM

.. nope.. can't juggle...

Bullshitted by Eric on April 27, 2006 03:39 PM

An adult friend of mine who was diagnosed in his twenties with ADHD says it best:
"when I get to fiddlin' I need me Ritalin"

You may want to look into that LOL...
Have a good trip. Be safe.

Bullshitted by Lisa W. on April 27, 2006 03:49 PM

shoot 'em full of vodka and take them on the plane with you to suck on--unless they are California oranges--they suck back

Bullshitted by GUYK on April 27, 2006 04:03 PM

LMAO! Your wife rules.

Bullshitted by Evilicious on April 27, 2006 05:30 PM

Throw some to the north...we could use some good oranges!

Bullshitted by Ali on April 27, 2006 05:33 PM

Oranges - or tangerines - provide essential Vitamin C. Gawd knows that Austin will be awash in Vitamin "E" - ethanol.

Citrus goes well with rum, too. Not that I plan on bringing out my "Inner Pirate." I'll leave that Yo-Ho-Ho shit to El Capitan and settle in with some nice single malt.

Or Sterno. Whatevahs.

Bullshitted by Elisson on April 27, 2006 06:00 PM

citrus also goes well with vodka.

eat em up, sounds like you may need to keep up your strength......

Bullshitted by armywifetoddlermom on April 27, 2006 10:29 PM

Pass em out to the street people,,,could be your good deed for the week!

Bullshitted by Michele on April 28, 2006 05:23 AM