Dreams...

... last night marked the end of an era.... the passing of an age.... my days of wallowing in the restless sleep of a deviated septum are at an end.... or so I am led to believe...

.. .that's right, kiddies... tonight the technicians visit my humble home bearing a sweet, sweet gift... and much like Balthazar leaning over the infant Jesus, I too shall be presented with an offering from a magician... one that will carry me away on technological wings to the Peace of Sleep... and I shall dream heavenly dreams....

... so yeah... the guys are installing my CPAP machine today at 4... and with any luck, I shall snore no more forever...

... I'm stoked... can you tell?...

by Eric on April 19, 2006 | Bullshit (9) | TrackBack (0) | Psycho Rants
Bullshit So Far

The wife'll think she is sleeping with an extremely quiet canister vacuum after a while. You do know blowing into a vacuum cleaner is actually how the Scots invented the pipes, don't you? Just sayin' is all......

Bullshitted by bitterman on April 19, 2006 11:10 AM

Hook one end of a set of jumper cables to a car battery and the other end to your testicles. Install an "on-off" toggle switch in the middle. Give Fiona control of the switch.

If you snore, she can... uh... discourage you from making that noise. Two or three jolts from peaceful sleep into nut-grabbing agony oughta cure your snoring problem.

I'll bet that my solution is cheaper than yours, too!

Bullshitted by Acidman on April 19, 2006 11:18 AM

... you should definitely open a clinic, Acidman...

Bullshitted by Eric on April 19, 2006 11:31 AM

You will be a happy man with that CPAP doomaflitchie. Only problem is, ya can't just roll over and drop off to sleep after certain Marital Activities: ya gotta put the nose-plugs in.

But that shouldn't be a problem for you youngins, should it?

Bullshitted by Elisson on April 19, 2006 11:59 AM

To heck with the CPAP; I like Acidman's idea better. You should patent that A-man, I'd buy one, I have had a LOT of sleepless nights lately on account of my darling's snoring...

Bullshitted by Lisa W on April 19, 2006 02:34 PM

You gonna wind up looking and sounding like Darth Vader?

Bullshitted by Jim - PRS on April 19, 2006 04:09 PM

... actually, all of the equipment is white... so I'll look more like a Storm Trooper... but I'll still be sounding like Darth Vader...

Bullshitted by Eric on April 19, 2006 04:41 PM

I'm bringing mine to Austin. The other blown-eyed blodgers will thank me for that!

(You'll be amazed how much more rested you feel every day.)

Bullshitted by Omnibus Driver on April 20, 2006 01:07 PM

I got mine a week ago and already I feel the difference. A whole lot quieter than my snoring used to be and I don't stop breathing in the middle of the night. Sleep apenea is scary stuff! Of course the best part is, now I'm turbocharged!

Bullshitted by Rey B on April 20, 2006 08:26 PM