Limp....

... yeah, yeah... I know you guys were worried sick... wringing your hands and nibbling your cuticles in anticipation of my demise at the claws of a wild beast...

... fat chance... the varmint has not yet been hatched that can tree me, folks... especially when I'm packing heat...

... nah... actually, that's not true at all... when the moment of truth came, I decided that discretion was the better part of valor and beat feet back inside to download Eastern European porn.... what?... hey, I had to do something to keep my mind off of the unknown beast that was lurking under my floor boards...

... anyway, whatever it was is gone now... if I had to guess, I'd say it was a bobcat... I caught a glimpse of it last night as it dodged my flashlight beam and it was definitely a lot bigger than a house cat...

... so, as much as I'd like to report that I bagged the culprit, I have to say instead that no animals were harmed in the making of this blog entry...

... oh, and another thing... I'm beginning to see a worrying pattern emerging here at the SWG Compound.... not only did I chicken out when faced with the prospect of wrestling a bobcat bare-handed, but I just had a salad for lunch too... I'm telling you, people, it's all downhill from here... next thing you know, well, I'll be getting a manicure...

by Eric on April 18, 2006 | Bullshit (16) | TrackBack (0) | Psycho Rants
Bullshit So Far

Can't you see any tracks around the house to figure out what it was for sure?

Bullshitted by Alaska Kim on April 18, 2006 11:40 AM

Hey, there's nothing wrong with a manicure, Rosie and her sisters have gots to be taken care of too.

Now if you start sitting down to tinkle, and posting about it, well then we'll start to worry.

Bullshitted by phin on April 18, 2006 11:46 AM

Big Pussy

Bullshitted by Catfish on April 18, 2006 11:55 AM

... I love you guys... I really do...

Bullshitted by Eric on April 18, 2006 12:15 PM

Of course you do know that you just missed one hell of a chance to tell the story about "THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY"!

Don't worry about the manicure, it's when you get a pedicure that we gotta start wondering....

Bullshitted by Junebugg on April 18, 2006 01:01 PM

I'll begin to worry if you start shopping for yourself at Victoria's Secret or start talking about using a bronzer...

Have fun with the kitties! :)

Bullshitted by Richmond on April 18, 2006 01:27 PM

damn, and you let it get away? Some of my Choctaw cousins allow it tastes just like the chicken in a Chinese eatery

Bullshitted by GUYK on April 18, 2006 02:18 PM

"Battle is the most magnificent competition in which a human being can indulge. It brings out all that is best; it removes all that is base. All men are afraid in battle. The coward is the one who lets his fear overcome his sense of duty. Duty is the essence of manhood."
-- George S. Patton

Way to go, Nancy Boy!

Bullshitted by Jerry on April 18, 2006 02:20 PM

... heh... bite me, Jerry... that thing was fierce.... and I really didn’t want to miss and shoot a hole in my house…

Bullshitted by Eric on April 18, 2006 02:26 PM

Oh, cry me a river. Try crawling into a farrowing stall with an angry 700 lb. sow who's trying to chew your leg off. Be a man!

And those favorite jeans of yours: They make your butt look big.

Bullshitted by Jerry on April 18, 2006 02:43 PM

I won't worry until you start thinking about a brazilian.
And Phin, that would be sitzpinkler!

Bullshitted by Raging Mom on April 18, 2006 02:43 PM

Eric,

I’ve written and lost this message 3 times. Dammit!

You know I’m just bustin’ your chops right? I’m pretty sure you could kick my ass or at least know some military self-defense move where you could put my eye out with a soda straw. I had a roommate in college who was in the military. He was about the size of T1G. But that never stopped me from running my mouth. I have probably seen Patton and Apocalypse Now more times than any non-military person.

I wouldn’t have crawled under the house either. And I don’t have a gun.

I have no opinion about your jeans or your butt. Except the jeans have reached their expiration date. Give them up.

The part about the 700 lb. sow is true though. I have been there and done that. A swift blow over the snout with a club evens out the weight difference.

Take care.

Bullshitted by Jerry on April 18, 2006 03:18 PM

... no worries, Jerry... we're cool...

.. and for the record, I have a very, very tiny ass... regardless of which jeans I'm wearing...

.. and I admire your mettle with that 700lb sow... you da man...

Bullshitted by Eric on April 18, 2006 03:24 PM

V-Man as admitted to sitpissing, and he's a Manly Man, so it must be OK.

Bullshitted by Jim - PRS on April 18, 2006 10:22 PM

well look on the bright side, at least you don't have a pair of REALLY flash shoes...

Oh...

Um...

Yeah...

Ahh, i got it, at least you don't have TWO pairs of really flash shoes.

:-D

Bullshitted by tommy on April 18, 2006 10:25 PM

As long as you don't start writing poetry about frogs, I think you'll be fine.

::looks up the page::

Oh.

Shit.

Bullshitted by zonker on April 19, 2006 08:00 AM