In the Mail...

... mercy... I now own a Rosary... it arrived in the mail yesterday from somewhere in Indiana... the box had a color photo of Pope John Paull II on it... and the rosary itself is decorated with red beads and medallions featuring John Paul II... and as a complete kicker, there was a handy-dandy booklet enclosed that provided the proper directions for saying the Rosary prayers...

... are the Catholics looking to sign me up?... wow... I kinda like being actively recruited by a religion... and I guess this means I can stop trying to learn Yiddish now... hell, those bastards never sent me shit....

... but the Big Question does remain, though... who sent it to me?... perhaps I'm on some charity mailing list... then again, maybe it's from an anonymous blogreader who is feeling my need for redemption... but having it arrive the day before Easter?... talk about a good marketing campaign.. it even came with a little leather bag (with zipper) to keep it stored it... "My Rosary" emblazoned in gold lettering across the leather... you know, just in case you forget what's in the bag...

... I am thankful, though... as my collection has been lacking a Rosary ever since I began it... it'll make a nice addition... and at long last my Ponca Indian war-rattle, embroidered kippah, and hand-filled mojo sack will not be alone...

... any port in a storm, people... you can never be too careful these days.... besides, it is best to keep your bases covered just in case you were mistaken...

by Eric on April 16, 2006 | Bullshit (14) | TrackBack (0) | Psycho Rants
Bullshit So Far

I'm a Catholic from Indiana. You are a lucky man indeed. I have the basic black model of rosary. No pouch. No JPII photo. I got gypped. Just curious. What town in Indiana did it originate?

Well now you can perform The Vatican Rag:

First you get down on your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Do whatever steps you want, if
You have cleared them with the Pontiff.
Everybody say his own
Kyrie eleison,
Doin' the Vatican Rag.

Enjoy, you honorary Catholic you!

Bullshitted by Jerry on April 16, 2006 07:01 PM

Hmm. Got me some of that in the mail as well. The beads pop out real's those damn medallions that'll make ya wince.

Bullshitted by Anna on April 16, 2006 07:35 PM

but the Big Question does remain, though… who sent it to me?

God did, obviously. Bet you didn't know even He has to pay for postage.

Bullshitted by McGehee on April 16, 2006 07:40 PM

Anna, babe, TMf'nI.


Bullshitted by tommy on April 16, 2006 08:24 PM

... good God, Anna.. I hope you are back and this isn't just another tease...

.. and McGehee, well, you may be half-right....

Bullshitted by Eric on April 16, 2006 09:11 PM

I have a rosary that was given to me in college. I kept it with me for the longest time... and I'm not Catholic. It just used to bring me peace knowing I had it.

Bullshitted by Bou on April 16, 2006 09:37 PM

I believe that the Lord better send you a half a case or more of those infernal contraptions. You gots sin like kryptonite, my brotha. Melt your standard issue rosary, it will.

Whole lotta smitin' goin' on, and all that....

Bullshitted by bitterman on April 16, 2006 11:47 PM

You got a unsolicited rosary? All I ever got was a piece of the Shroud of Turin and a splinter from the cross and they wanted me to pay for it. Sent me a little payment book and everything.

Bullshitted by Libby on April 17, 2006 07:27 AM

You don't know WHERE those beads have been. I read this post and IMMEDIATELY thought... well, the same thing Anna was thinking...

Bullshitted by Acidman on April 17, 2006 09:47 AM

I think someone is trying to tell you something. You'll have to let us know if a bush in the spontaneously combusts... ;)

Bullshitted by Richmond on April 17, 2006 11:40 AM

The Goth kids wear rosaries as necklaces. Maybe someone is trying to update your fashion sense?

Bullshitted by Junebugg on April 17, 2006 01:31 PM

Don't let 'em sucker you Eric - they want your money... I'm just sayin'...


I was born a Catholic - no one has ever sent me a rosary - they have sent me missives asking for cash though.

Bullshitted by Teresa on April 17, 2006 03:01 PM

The Turks call them worry beads...

Bullshitted by GUYK on April 17, 2006 05:14 PM

F'cryin' out loud Eric ... Why didn't you say so in the first place? Just gimme your mailing address and I'll send you something nice 'n' Yiddishy in the mail. Simple'z'dat.
(under no circumstances should this be interpreted as a request for conversion)

Bullshitted by Erica on April 18, 2006 09:42 PM