Weird....

...I am not a huge fan of feet... in my view, they rank right up there with ears as the two greatest abominations God laid down upon us mortal humans back in the day... feet and ears, people... when the Great Creator was patching our bodies together, I suspect that the feet and ears were designed late one night after he'd been juiced up while watching old re-runs of Celestial Saturday Night Live...

.. after all, today is Sunday... and as I sit here reading from the Book of Tom Waits in quiet introspection, my eyes have just fallen onto a gem from "Heartattack and Vine"...

... all rise..

"Don't you know there ain't no Devil, that's just God when he's drunk."

.. be seated, please...

... indeed, there may be some wisdom there from old Tommyboy... at least it would explain the huge jokes that are our feet and ears....

... anyway, in other news, the Wife informed me last night that I have prehensile toes.. I was sockless on the couch and performed a mighty stretch last night - the kind where you do the whole-body flex/writhe - and she barked, "EWWW you should have seen what your toes did!"... ahhh... the bliss of married life....

... and it was at that point that last night's weirdness began in earnest... suffice it to say though, yes, it appears that I can perform many tasks with my bony appendages.. everything from flipping the bird to sloppily picking up small objects and putting them on the ottoman...

... hey, who knew?... I sure didn't... but I always have imagined I was a man of many talents, I just never knew how strange some of those talents would turn out to be...

by Eric on April 09, 2006 | Bullshit (5) | TrackBack (0) | Psycho Rants
Bullshit So Far

I'll be impressed when you can put ice in a cocktail glass with your dick.

Bullshitted by Acidman on April 9, 2006 10:33 AM

And once again when, I thought I have stretched all I need to with the post, the comments take things further....

::shakes head::

I get the damndest mental images while visiting here. God as a drunkard, prehensile toes, a dick chucking ice cubes...

Hey wait, I think I dated that guy...

Bullshitted by Richmond on April 9, 2006 11:13 AM

... Petey doesn't like the cold, Robbie....

.. and Richmond, well, I just don't know what to say... but it is even worse when you write it than when you read it....

Bullshitted by Eric on April 9, 2006 11:25 AM

Aye, the wife possesses simian toes. Damn near as long as her fingers and just about as dexterious. Tear leg hair out by the bunch, she can while extracting revenge in bed. Must have been a vine highway from TN to CA at some point in time......

Bullshitted by bitterman on April 9, 2006 02:33 PM

Yes, but can you scratch those abominable ears with those abominable toes?

Now THAT'S flexibility :-)

Bullshitted by Harvey on April 12, 2006 02:20 PM