... so yesterday as I was thinking deep thoughts and soaking up the sunshine, a sudden wave of depression swept over me... the finality of resolution, people... the crystalline realization that I have been trying to fool myself all these many years... hiding behind lies... making excuses to the mirror... forever wearing long britches even during the mightiest of Summer days...

... yes, I finally concede defeat... I will never, never, never get a suntan.... no, not ever... and it is a sad thing to say.... I have tried so hard for so long....

... so, behold... the drumstick of the whitest blogger I know... namely, well, me....


... and I do so envy you people who brown on the first day of spring.... you bastards...

by Eric on April 04, 2006 | Bullshit (14) | TrackBack (1) | Psycho Rants
ยป phin's blog links with: Fashionistas
Bullshit So Far

That's the funny thing here at SWG's, when you start reading an entry, you never know where it's gonna lead you... or so I say... 'cause honestly: I thought this was one more entry about the fabulous Helga and her gym magic... :)

Bullshitted by Ann on April 4, 2006 10:29 AM

A might sight purtier than seeing that crotch-hole in your jeans! ;)

Bullshitted by oddybobo on April 4, 2006 11:30 AM

Helluva Moontan you got goin' on there bro.

I might be neck in neck, or chicken leg in chicken leg as the case may be, with you for the title of whitest blogger. I'm pretty sure the last time my legs saw the sun was in '01, and that's because I lost my pants at a bachelor party.

As an aside, that legs lookin' awfully purdy are they Shaved or Waxed? Grooming details man, it's all in the details.

Bullshitted by phin on April 4, 2006 12:18 PM

Once again you can sit by me. I'm practically translucent...

Bullshitted by Richmond on April 4, 2006 12:22 PM

Another summer up here and I might just give you a run for your money. ;-)

Bullshitted by Tammi on April 4, 2006 01:23 PM

...actually, Phin, my legs are quite hairy.. but you can't see it usually because of the glare off of my white skin...

Bullshitted by Eric on April 4, 2006 01:37 PM

I've got the same issue. My golfing partners insist I tell them before hand if I'm wearing shorts. They want to make sure they have their polarized sunglasses with them.

Bullshitted by MCPO Airdale on April 4, 2006 01:47 PM

i have always heard that there is sumthin about having to get off ones butt on the patio and actually get out in the sun to get a suntan but I don't know if there is any truth to it.

Bullshitted by GUYK on April 4, 2006 03:42 PM

I betcha I am paler than you. I am half Irish and half German. PALE PALE PALE!!!!

Richmond, I say that too! I am translucent. LOL!

Bullshitted by Evilicious Blonde on April 4, 2006 08:51 PM

I am one of the bastards that can tan at the first day of spring, and I'm here to tell you, it is highly overrated. I'm going to have saggy leathery brown legs in about 10 years... my knees in particular. Stay out of the sun. White is good. Brown is saggy.

Bullshitted by Bou on April 4, 2006 10:00 PM

If you're gonna show them drumsticks, you need a more felicitous Sock-Shoe Combo. Gotta lose them white socks, bubba.

But those shoes, man...they're amazing!

Bullshitted by Elisson on April 4, 2006 10:12 PM

I'm scots/irish/norse and I've worked nights for the last twelve years.

I'm a freakin' Morlock :)

Bullshitted by Graumagus on April 5, 2006 03:36 AM

I dunno - I'm not a blogger, I just read 'em, but I bet I've got the palest legs of any blog READER!!! Thank goodness my hubby says he loves my "alabaster skin"...:)

Bullshitted by Lisa W on April 5, 2006 11:01 AM

Ha! Ha, I say! I gave up trying to tan before I started - there is no percentage in the burn and peel look. Especially for women. The worst part is... all those cute summer skirts and sandals look hideous on me with my nice white legs... *sigh* Oh well - guess I shouldn't be lamenting my skin coloring at this late date.

Bullshitted by Teresa on April 5, 2006 12:01 PM