Panic Button...

... walking out of the mall this afternoon, a 40ish woman zipped by me... cradling huge sacks of goodies from Banana Republic and Gap, she was focused on getting to her car... hey, it didn't bother me... I had just paused outside the mall entrance to light up a smoke, and I guess, well, I was in her way.... no problem, you know... I had no place to be and I was feeling pretty laid back... so I just laughed to myself as she nudged by...

.. 45 seconds later, I'm nearing the loaner-car I was given, and she is standing right behind it... frantically swinging her head from left to right... scanning the parking lot of empty vehicles for her own car.... feeling totally lost and confused...

... in retrospect, it probably wasn't the best thing to do, what I did... walking up behind the poor dear and stopping.... and then whispering the immortal words... "can't find your car, ma'am?... well.... maybe you should push your panic button... "

... I definitely think she took that the wrong way.... but hell, I ain't scary... at least in the daylight..

by Eric on January 30, 2006 | Bullshit (10) | TrackBack (0) | Psycho Rants
Bullshit So Far

But being evil is so much fun...

Bullshitted by Laughing Wolf on January 30, 2006 06:21 PM

BAHAHAHA, I would have loved to see the look on her face.

Bullshitted by Contagion on January 30, 2006 06:26 PM

You did say Bananna Republic, and Gap bags right? Not a couple of cases of beer?

How can folks forget where they parked. Especially when they're not F'd up. Methinks she needeth somethin' more then a panic button.

Something from the Wizard of Oz comes to mind... wasn't it the Scarecrow who said it?

I've misplaced my vehicle before, but, hey, my "mood was altered"... after a Black Sabbath concert... My buddy's was too. He didn't know either. Simple mistake, we'd left the building on the "other side"...

Bullshitted by RedNeck on January 30, 2006 06:54 PM

I would have jumped out of my frickin' skin! Good Lord. And I would have died 9 deaths that someone witnessed me searching for my 'lost car'.

Redneck- It's a sickness. It is. I have to park in the same place every single time or I forget where I parked. It makes my boys nuts. My eldest has started to tease me about it.

I've not pushed the panic button as God only knows I don't want to draw any more attention to my absentmindedness, but I have surely hit the unlock button, looking to see if I see any tail lights flick on and off... and listening for that beep.

Bullshitted by Bou on January 30, 2006 07:45 PM

.... hey, I am not scary.... she must have just been very, VERY highly strung.....

Bullshitted by Eric on January 30, 2006 08:12 PM

I'm thinking that you unwittingly aided and abetted a shoplifting. Then again, I'm from Jersey.

Bullshitted by Jim - PRS on January 30, 2006 08:16 PM

Haw. I don't know about Mrs. Lady, there, but I will tell you that the Escalade driver at the Westin in Buckhead is still trying to clean the shit off that front seat after you scared it outta him...I'm sure he had convinced himself that we were going to disembowel him and leave his steaming, urine-soaked corpse in the parking lot of Lenox Mall...

Bullshitted by Elisson on January 30, 2006 11:35 PM

I wore my panic button out when I had a vehicle that had one. Geez, that's what happens when you try and keep up with the Jones'...it all starts to look the same after awhile. I mean, there was an OCEAN of white, Dodge Caravans out there. How are you supposed to know which one is yours without the panic button...well until you get the identifying dent, that is.

Bullshitted by Kelly on January 31, 2006 08:31 AM

That's f*ckin' hillarious! I would of loved to see the look on that woman's face. Bwahahahaha!

Bullshitted by Braden on January 31, 2006 09:56 AM

You are SO mean!

I love it!

Bullshitted by livey on February 1, 2006 04:19 PM