Sunday Visitors..

... I wandered through the house early this morning to perk some coffee... as I turned the corner into the kitchen, a large cave cricket was chilling out on the tile floor beside the liquor cabinet... I wiped my eyes, and stood for a second in disbelief... yep, it was a cave cricket..

... it looked at me soullessly and swirled his antennae... he was quite a big fella... I unfolded my pajama bottoms, and slipped them on while he watched... "fuck it", I mumbled as I wiped the sleep from my eyes... "I want coffee"...

... I staggered past, and started the brewing... the cave cricket continued waving his limbs and nibbling on something.... "wow", I thought dreamily to myself, "I wonder how he got in here?".... strange stuff, indeed... anyway, halfway through the pot's cycle, I robbed the rich, dark coffee from the machine and wandered back to the blogroom...

... an hour had passed, and I could hear The Wife stirring... she peeped a bed-frazzled head around the corner of the blogroom doorway, and asked it I'd made coffee... "Yes, dear... there's a fresh pot.. I robbed it early, so it is good and strong", came my reply.... well, just now.... sipping my coffee and reading, my quiet Sunday morning has just been split asunder... I was jerked into the real world by a bloodcurdling scream... the fear, anger, and revulsion was palpable in the reverberating roar...

... yeah.. you guessed it... I don't know for sure, but if I had to guess... I'd say she has just met Mr. Cave Cricket... and I also think that I may be trouble...

by Eric on May 01, 2005 | Bullshit (9) | SWG Stories
Bullshit So Far

Kinda makes you long for the good old days of squirrel attacks, don't it? :-)

Bullshitted by Harvey on May 1, 2005 01:42 PM

Yep, you are in trouble. Just like my ex was when he laughed as I was cornered by a wolf spider. Stupid thing moved the same way I did and if I went towards it, it came towards me. I was not a happy person. Those things bite and they hurt! Luckily, the Hubby I have now is more than willing to catch any 'large' bug I won't get near.

Bullshitted by vw bug on May 1, 2005 01:57 PM

Shame on you!! :-P

Bullshitted by Sissy on May 1, 2005 02:38 PM

I'm sorry, little brother. You're doomed.
Dead Non-Warning-Of-Evil-Bug-Nasties Man Walking.
*shudder* Man, I HATE bugs.

Bullshitted by LeeAnn on May 1, 2005 02:52 PM

It's all about denial. "What? Now how in the hell did THAT get in here?" Never say he WASN'T in there when you get your coffee... but never say he really was either... :)

Bullshitted by Boudicca on May 1, 2005 03:06 PM

For the most part ...the evil bugs only move around at night....ergo Mr Cave Cricket moved to his current spot during said evening.

1. First Mistake: Admitting you had already been to the coffee pot for a cut this morning

2. Second (and more important) Mistake: Either not forewarning the spousal unit said critter was "at large" in the area of the coffee pot, or not removing said critter to the great outdoors prior to your snuggle bunny imitating Jamie Lee Curtis in one of her many horror flicks. The first (forewarning) would get you a glare and get that critter gone now look. This can be at least partially defended with the standard "I'm sorry honey, I didn't think about removing said critter, after all I am just a man." The second, your mortal sin of omission.....well, may god have mercy on your heathen soul...cause I have doubts about your better half giving you absolution any time soon.

Ye old retired Sailor, and head spider/creepy crawly killer.

Bullshitted by Guy S. on May 1, 2005 03:21 PM

You're definately gonna have to spend some more time a the range to get her lovin you again after that.

Failing that, give yourself a black eye and tell her that it took you in round threeand you'd gottn temporary amnesia. Not the most manly, i admit, but it might get a smile out of her


Bullshitted by tommy on May 1, 2005 05:43 PM

Dude, I hope she thumped your ass real good! Leaving that nasty thing for her to find! Shame on you!

Bullshitted by Maeve on May 1, 2005 11:38 PM

holy crap.
i would have screamed bloody murder too.

just saw the pic you posted and it's an *ugly* bugger.

Bullshitted by Fiona on May 2, 2005 09:17 AM