... for some reason, the humor that Adam molded together in this post reminded me of a time waaaaay back...

... once upon a time, my CO was cracking down on the physical fitness training us jarheads had been doing.... our previous commander had allowed us to work out in any form we wanted.... so, we'd invariably break off into small groups of 3 to 5, and dream up some game to play... Combat Basketball was always my favorite... 782 gear, flak vests, helmet, boots, and cammies... we'd beat the living Hell out of each other and never score more than 10 points in an hour... great times.... others would be going for runs.. playing flag football... culvert/ditch line races... lifting weights... we were a pretty mixed bag of big guys & scrawny guys.. and we were all slightly skewed..

... but we had a high time, people... until one of the guys got his jaw broken while leaping for a rebound during a particularly feisty game of Combat Basketball... heh.. a Kevlar to the chin will lay you low... indeed, he was hammered... anyway, once the CO found out, he decided to enforce his will... from now on, we'd be exercising as a group.. under the ever-watchful eye of our fearless leader... no more injuries on his watch... at least that was his logic...

... at the time, we worked out three times a week.... one Monday, our Captain arrived and took charge.. we'd play flag football... fine... I hated playing football... anyway, we got stuck into the game, and were having a blast... until Sgt. Gerard bodyslammed Cpl Clay... two mighty titans clashed... Gerard went for the flag, and Clay decided to pull a Jonah Lomu on him and run right over his ass... Gerard reacted in a second.. gripped his waist, and tossed Clay right over his left shoulder... he hit the ground like a sack of potatoes and was slow getting up... dinged up his elbow and cracked two ribs, he did... all of us onlookers made mental notes not to try strong-arming Sgt. Gerard...

... PT was cancelled for the rest of the day... result?.. one broken Marine...

... so, Wednesday rolls around... once again, our Captain arrives and tells us that we are going to do a cross country run through the hills... fine... I hated running too... so off we go... about two miles into our three, a LCpl twists his ankle badly in the tundra... I got called out to help carry his broken ass to the infirmary... turns out he was on crutches for the next three weeks...

... scratch up another notch on the counting stick... one more broken Marine...

... this is where it gets weird... by now, our CO was pissed... it seemed that every time he turned around, one of his troops was getting sent to sick call.. so, he had a clever idea... as punishment, all of us were forced into the gym to play duck-duck-goose... after all, NO ONE ever got hurt playing duck-duck-goose..

... we formed ourselves - cross-legged - into a large circle on the hardwood floor... it started out alright.. but 10 minutes into our "punishment", it was my buddy Lomo's turn... he was a little Filipino guy... fast as a snake... he started making his rounds behind us... patting us on the heads... duck... duck... duck.... and then he got to The Big Weightlifting Lance Corporal.. in a split second, he bashed him in the noggin, yelled "GOOSE", and took off like a shot... that big weightlifter nearly jumped out of his skin... in an explosion of force, he was suddenly upright.. honestly, I have never seen anyone that big move that fast... but just as he reached his full height, he screamed in pain and fell to his knees... he'd twisted his back from the sudden exertion, and was frozen in muscular spasms...

... third day of "Company PT", and a third broken Marine...

... our commander was furious... how in the HELL can anyone get hurt playing duck-duck-goose?!?... he fumed and ranted for a while... questioning our intelligence and breeding... and then our Senior Enlisted took him aside... when they came back to the formation, we were told that there would be no more "Company PT".. instead, it had been decided that we should all work out in our own ways... just as it had been before...

... I still don't know why he did that... maybe he figured that we were going to get hurt regardless... and it would be better if he wasn't the one in charge... one thing is for sure... when you play hard, people get hurt.. but that is just all part of life.. life in the slow lane doesn't mean it is any less dangerous than a life spent in the fast lane... so, if you are going to get hurt anyway, why not choose the excitement of the rough stuff?..

by Eric on April 27, 2005 | Bullshit (8) | Military Stuff
Bullshit So Far

You Marines sure do play hard alright... I'm witness to the breakage and scars from both combat soccer and just plain ol volleyball. But somehow its all good in the end cuz as we all know... chicks dig scars ;o)

Bullshitted by Princess Cat on April 27, 2005 11:00 AM

Play hard so you can fight hard - sounds like a plan. Assuming that you survive the play ;-)

Bullshitted by Barb on April 27, 2005 11:02 AM

I went to try out for a local rugby team once. Everything was going well, right up until they decided to play Starting XV against a mix up of the other XV.

I was heavier then and was playing inside centre, the ball flew into my hands and I did what every good center did - ran, ran like hell. The starting XV inside center tracked me, got his shoulders nice and low and tackled me round the legs.

I did what I was taught to do as a wide receiver at uni, keep the legs pumping and don't stop unless someone tells you (run Forrest!), so that's what I did. He did what he had been taught to do, hold on, so that's what he did.

I ripped his arm clean out the socket.

I didn't go back to that club...

Bullshitted by Tilesey on April 27, 2005 11:06 AM

"how in the HELL can anyone get hurt playing duck-duck-goose?!?"

As a former camp counsellor and veteran of MANY games of duck-duck-goose, I found that line hilarious :-)

Anyway, I love the point you make at the end.

Bullshitted by Harvey on April 27, 2005 11:45 AM

I have not thought about that game in years! Yes, it has maximum hurting potential.

Bullshitted by justrose on April 27, 2005 12:13 PM

the CO of MATSG-21 has banned us from playing anything that starts with combat...and i noticed that just about everytime go do pt someone ends up going to medical...

Bullshitted by oakleytexas on April 27, 2005 12:42 PM

nuther fine piece of ritin, sir. i lack yer ritin when ye make us see n feel thangs ye went thru, when ye let yer wit shine thru the tale itself. ye gut real talent, sir.

Bullshitted by buddy don on April 28, 2005 06:17 AM

"how in the HELL can anyone get hurt playing duck-duck-goose?!?"

Cause it's a game meant to be played by 2 foot tall kids - not 6 foot tall men. Just a thought. However that was freakin' hilarious!!!

Bullshitted by Teresa on April 28, 2005 11:45 AM