If I Could Be...

.. dear Boudicca slapped me with this thing, and I am happy to oblige her... Hell, being that I am unemployed, I COULD actually take a stab at practicing some of these professions... then again, I really like spending my days doing as I please...

... anyway, here are the rules...

"Immediately following there is a list of 24 different occupations. You must select at least 5 of them (feel free to select more). You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select 5 of the items as it was passed to you). Each one begins with "If I could be..." Of the 5 you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession.

For example, if the selected occupation was "pirate" you might take the phrase "If I could be a pirate..." and add to it "I would sail the 7 Seas, dating lasses from around the world."

See how easy that is? Here's the list:

If I could be a scientist... I'm not really smart enough to hang with the pocket protector types..
If I could be a farmer... been there... tooooo much work...
If I could be a musician... hey, I try... but I fear the gropies groupies..
If I could be a doctor... sorry, folks.. would you want me operating on YOU?..
If I could be a painter... nope... I've been putting off painting the deck for a year... it can wait..
If I could be a gardener... I pay people to mow my lawn, thanks...
If I could be a missionary... this one has promise.. getting nubile young natives to perform penance?.. c'mere, baby.. kiss my ring..
If I could be a chef... aren't kitchens hot?.. I'll pass.. just bring it to my table..
If I could be an architect... hammers and nails ain't my bag...
If I could be a linguist... heh heh... I'd be a cunning linguist....
If I could be a psychologist... I'd try to figure out why you tards come to this blog... perverts...
If I could be a librarian... I'd be a 5'2, 22 year old, brunette with glasses who closely resembles Salma Hayek.. and I'd never take my hands off myself...
If I could be an athlete... running?... weightlifting?... I'm getting tired already...
If I could be a lawyer... sorry, I cannot tell a lie..
If I could be an innkeeper... two words... hidden cameras...
If I could be a professor... I'd hang out at the library with the Hayek look-alike...
If I could be a writer... I'd write interesting tales about shooting pool and drinking Scotch....
If I could be a llama-rider... here is an interesting one.. do they buck?.. if it's like bullriding, then no thanks.. I'm fragile lately...
If I could be a bonnie pirate... I'd finally be able to grow a damn beard...
If I could be an astronaut... no way, man... I saw "The Right Stuff"... spam in a can, indeed...
If I were a dog... I'd be the one asleep on the porch...
If I were an inventor... sorry.. this one wont fit either... I don't have the patience to sit around and think stuff up...
If I were a programmer... are you kidding?... reading lines of code would make me slit my wrists...
If I were a genius... what?... sheesh... I AM...

... you know, unemployment isn't really that bad...

by Eric on April 25, 2005 | Bullshit (6) | Psycho Rants
ยป Boudicca's Voice links with: Eric Answers teh Meme
Bullshit So Far

This is GREAT, Eric. "Spam in a can". So you'd be a hound dog, huh? Who woulda thunk it? ;-)

Bullshitted by Boudicca on April 25, 2005 11:40 AM

"A cunning linguist" ... That would be a linguist is talented with the tongue ?
*grin*
Oh, wait, I just proved the next one true, didn't I ... perverts

Bullshitted by Barb on April 25, 2005 12:48 PM

"If I could be an innkeeper... two words... hidden cameras... "

LOL! :-D

Bullshitted by Harvey on April 25, 2005 02:25 PM

Dammit. I corrected the title on my blog, but it came out wrong in your frickin' trackback. Stupid fingers...

Bullshitted by Boudicca on April 25, 2005 09:30 PM

"If I could be a lawyer... sorry, I cannot tell a lie.."

Good. Now, pull the other one. No, not that one. The other other one. ::sheesh!:: Maybe you can't be a lawyer...

Bullshitted by David on April 25, 2005 09:58 PM

Ow! Low blow, Eric. Where I work, it's the engineers who wear pocket protectors and the scientistas are hip.

I am glad I remotely resemble a librarian, however. But methinks I need to get some glasses.

Bullshitted by liv on April 27, 2005 12:40 AM