on Brothels...

... a few days ago, the Wife received a phone call from her sainted Father... he's just fresh back from a six-week trip across Australia from east-to-west... topped off with a week of sun'n'fun in Kuala Lumpur.. heh.. him and two mates road-tripping across the Nullabor Desert Plain... and then throwing down in Malaysia.. some guys have all the luck... anyway, he ended up chatting with her for almost two hours..

... when they were finished, she brought the phone through to the blogroom..

... "Eric", says he, "us guys thought of you when we got to Kalgoorlie"

... "You did, huh?... cool.. is that where they dig for opals?"...

... "nope, that's the other place.. Kalgoorlie had a gold strike.. but, that's not what I'm wanting to tell you... Kalgoorlie is the only place in Australia where brothels are legal.. so, we naturally went for a tour of a really nice one"..

... picking my jaw up off the floor, I mumbled... "you've gotta be shitting me"...

... "heh.. no way, not at all.. they had an Orgy Room all decked out Romanesque... a French Revolution Room... and even one room that just had a parked car in it.."...

... beginning to realize that he is telling the truth, I start to come around... "DAMN, man.. how were the women?.. on a scale of 1 to 10?"..

... ".. heh heh... probably about 8's.. but still, not too shabby for the middle of a bloody desert"..

... "wait just a minute... they REALLY had a whole car in a room?"...

... "aye.. they sure did.... I guess some of their patrons like the back seats... well, anyway, nice talking to you, Eric.. like I said, we all thought of you when we were taking the tour.. have a good night"..

... "alright.. ok, then... glad you had a good trip... all the best.. bye...."..

... the whole thing only lasted about 2 minutes... 2 hours with the Wife, and 2 minutes with me.. the Wife was standing here listening as I hung up the phone... she looked me up and down, and said... "HE never told ME he went to a BROTHEL!"....

... I let out a nervous laugh, handed her the phone, and shrugged my shoulders.. I mean, really.. what was I supposed to say?.. I have a feeling that no matter what I said, I would have lost that battle... besides, why did he want to tell ME that he went on a tour of a brothel?... I mean, was it just me, or was that conversation just plain whacked?... still, it is nice to know I crossed their minds while they were traveling.. heh...

by Eric on March 15, 2005 | Bullshit (12) | SWG Stories
Bullshit So Far

Brothels! God, how depressing. When I was 19 a friend and I took our first trip to Reno and we swore if we won money we would go to a brothel. I won $67 at Keno, and he said, "Let's go." And i balked. It just seemed so stupid and pointless.

Watching Deadwood on HBO, I get a sense that no matter how prettied up, all brothels partake of that air of cynicism and desperation.

Not that it isn't good for some guys. I just ccan't get there.

Bullshitted by Mark Alexander on March 15, 2005 06:46 PM

.. I have never partaken either, Brother Mark... I have no idea why they "thought of me" when they visited..

Bullshitted by Eric on March 15, 2005 07:09 PM

... oh, and I have not even "toured" one either... just for the record...

Bullshitted by Eric on March 15, 2005 07:10 PM

Methinks he doth protest too much...

Bullshitted by Christina on March 15, 2005 09:12 PM

Probably because you were in the military?

That's my guess, since most of my civilian friends assume such things.

Bullshitted by JimA on March 15, 2005 09:15 PM

I'm Laughing my ass off. That is frickin' hysterical.

Bullshitted by Boudicca on March 15, 2005 10:52 PM

Of COURSE he didn't tell your wife! Do you know how grossed out I was when I found out my dad "did it" on the kitchen table??? There are some things I don't want to know and my parents haveing sex is one of them!!!
There are legal brothels in Nev. too if he ever makes his way out here!

Bullshitted by Maeve on March 16, 2005 01:21 AM

Heh. Sorry, but this is (to me) a definite guy thing. None of my male friends would ever confess to anything even close. I'd have to pry it out of them with a bloody crowbar or something.

BTW, brothels are legal in SG too. It's SOLICITATION that's illegal. A little weird, no?

Bullshitted by Fiona on March 16, 2005 01:34 AM

You are too much, truly! :)

Hey...my websites up and working again, btw!

Bullshitted by Sheilah on March 16, 2005 02:07 AM

My father in law and husband were outside one time..drinking beer and just bullshittin'...me and mother in law were inside cooking and the window was open..we heard them talking but they didn't realize it I guess...they talked about the most sorted things and as soon as us girls came outside I saw my father in law slap my husband's leg and they both nodded...they shut up..so we asked.."what were you fellas talking about?" My husband said..."oh dad was telling me about his last hunting trip." Uh-huh...sure he was. I don't mind one bit that men want to "dirty talk" without me being present because most of it is bullshit anyway..hahaha...

Bullshitted by Sandy on March 16, 2005 03:12 AM

I've never been to a "brothel." Been to a few whorehouses, but never a brothel.

Bullshitted by Acidman on March 16, 2005 01:05 PM

I've never been to either a whorehouse OR a brothel. I just went to third-world bars with pretty dancing girls...

... who just happened to be "for rent".

The best part about the experience is that being an American sailor in a foreign-port bar, you get treated EXACTLY like a supermodel at a night club does in the States. You can't spend 10 minutes by yourself without some little honey rubbing up against you & asking you "what chip you from?".

Only difference is that the sailor still has to buy the drinks.

Even so, it was kinda nice to have girls competing for my attention.

Bullshitted by Harvey on March 16, 2005 03:51 PM