... I just found this little goodie in my email inbox... but before I post it, I feel the need to interject a quick quote from Will Rogers... he was, after all, a wise, wise man... ole Willie once said... "The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has".. and he was right... oh, and that quote is from "The Illiterate Digest".. 1924...
... the tax proposed below?.. it will rival the income tax in liar creation.. on that, you can bet...
The only thing that the IRS has not yet taxed is the male penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts.
Effective January 1st, 2005 your penis will be taxed according to size. The brackets are as follows:
10"- 12" Luxury Tax..........$30.00
8"- 10" Pole Tax.............$25.00
5"- 8" Privilege Tax.........$15.00
4"- 5" Nuisance Tax..........$3.00
Males exceeding 12" must file under capital gains. Anyone under 4" is eligible for a refund. PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!!!
Sincerely,
Pecker Checker IRS
*****NOTE*****
We are still waiting for answers for the following questions: - Are there penalties for early withdrawals? - What if one's penis is self employed? - Do multiple partners count as a corporation? - Are condoms a deductible expense as work clothes? - Is there an additional tax if you are not circumcised?
Awright!!! Gonna get a refund after all.
Bullshitted by bitterman on February 7, 2005 08:56 PMEric, if you haven't learned the penalty for an early withdrawal at this point in your life, then perhaps your lovely wife and I need to have a drink and chat a bit;-)
Bullshitted by sadie on February 7, 2005 08:57 PMThis means that circumcision is a tax cut!
Bullshitted by Jim on February 7, 2005 09:31 PMMy tax man just called and said I'm getting audited. I asked him what I should do and he told me to go online and find a picture of Janet Reno.
Not only am I getting a refund, but the auditor threw in his lunch money out of sheer pity.
Bullshitted by McGehee on February 7, 2005 09:48 PM