.... ahhh... Sunday morning... after a week of feasting and excess, a quiet morning - with nothing to do all day - is just what the doctor ordered... Boxing Day, as it is referred to in Britain... heh... I can remember exactly where I was on this day in 1993... December 26th, 1993... I was preparing for a run at RAF Edzell, Scotland....
... back when I was a brand new baby Corporal of Marines, I was given my first "command"... over a squad of junior Marines... 11 of them... I'd only been promoted to Corporal for a few months.... I was nervous and unsure about how to do what was expected of me... I was 19 years old...
... the 26th of December dawned a cool and windless morning... I had my Marines formed for PT... we were going to do a three mile run around the track before work... everyone was accounted for, and we began... Sgt Holland had decided to run with us that day, and since it was "my" PT session, he fell in at the back...
... about 500 yards into the jog, my roommate - a LCpl - began falling out... I yelled for Holland to take over, and he sprinted to the front to continue calling cadence... I fell back to where my roomie was faltering... I asked him what was wrong... he said he was having trouble breathing because he had a cold... I told him to stop running, and report to sick call... he said he wasn't bad enough to go to sick call... I explained that during my PT, we were going to run as a unit... and if he couldn't stay up with the unit, something must be wrong with him... and if something was wrong, he needed to go to sick call... well, he was having none of it... and I must say, this angered me just a little...
... by this time, Holland and the squad had completed their first circuit, and were gaining on us... as they passed, I asked the Sgt to halt the squad... I explained to them that the LCpl was sick, but was refusing sick call...I dismissed everyone from PT that morning, and only the young Marine and I would run... happy to be free from the run, the squad scattered like a covey of quail back towards the barracks... Sgt Holland ambled over, and took a seat on the grandstand that surrounded the track... the LCpl and I began running... we ran at his pace... for an hour... we covered the 3 miles - and then some... I worked him over... hard.. he was coughing and hacking... and every time he'd start, I'd say..
... "you want to stop and go to sick call?.. if not, then get your lousy ass up here and RUN with me... if you are sick, your're sick.. if not, it's time to PT!... you've let down the whole squad!... run, stop, or die... just make a fucking decision one way or the other"....
.. and so, we ran... and ran... and ran....
... when we finished, Sgt Holland followed he and I back to our room... the LCpl went into the shower, and I sat down on my rack... Sgt. Holland just stood in the doorway watching me... after a few minutes, he laughed to himself and said in his North Carolina drawl...
... "Corporal, that was one helluva run you guys had"....
.. I didn't know how to read what he was saying... I thought I had done the right thing with the LCpl... I really did... but almost without thinking, I stood up and walked over to the window... with my back to him, I asked..
... "did I do the right thing?.. by telling him to go to sick call, or run?"...
.. Sgt Holland sighed.. and then, he spoke....
"Dammit, Corporal... that was one of the best pieces of leadership I have ever seen from such a junior NCO... right up until just now... you don't need me to tell you that you did the right thing... go with your training... go with what your heart and guts tell you to do... you did just fine... but, doubting yourself will never get you anywhere... Hell, you KNEW you did the right thing.. you just wanted me to TELL you that you did... be reliant in yourself, Marine... it doesn't matter what I think... it's what YOU think of your actions that counts... "
... I've never forgotten what he told me that day... I doubt I ever will... in a way, I felt that I had let him down... he had found my weakness as a leader... the need for a pat on the head and to be told "good job".. maybe it is vanity... maybe ego... either way, I never made that mistake again... sure, I've made some bad decisions from time to time... but, they were MY decisions... and at the time, I felt they were right... and I stood by them 100%...
Eric.....this piece I just read...it's real. Not a thing wrong about wanting that pat on the back and a "well done" in your ear. Nothing wrong with empathy for others either. Good post!
Bullshitted by Marcus on December 26, 2004 10:29 AMA desire for a pat on the back ain't such a bad thing. Hell, when you get it, it can motivate the hell out of you. It's only when the wish for that pat becomes your motivation, that it becomes a bad thing. Bro, the only thing you did wrong here was miss the fact that he had already complimented you. And if your Sgt. was anything like some of my NCOs, that's an easy thing to miss!
I had a similar experience while I was VC of my mortar vehicle. We had a private who kept screwing up, and since he was my boy ... I paid. I worked with him for awhile, but it didn't seem to do much good. The guy was bull headed. One night, someone held him over the third deck balcony and had a chat with him. Made an impression.
Wrong, right? Don't know. But he worked his ass off for me after that. Never, ever had to worry about the threatened loss of liberty for my crew.
Bullshitted by That 1 Guy on December 26, 2004 11:59 AMT1G - If it worked, it was right.
Normally I'm not one for "ends justify the means", but the military is about life & death, not just hurt feelings & social faux pas.
Different game. Different stakes. Different rules.
Bullshitted by Harvey on December 26, 2004 01:59 PMInteresting post....I read that in my best Army officer voice and scared Sadie out of the house. Please send more chocolate to get her back. Thank you.
Bullshitted by Irish Lad on December 26, 2004 03:50 PMHumm...well at least I didn't fall for the "Oops, I pulled the pin out of the handgrenade" joke. Don't worry Eric, he stopped using "the voice." All is well;-)
Bullshitted by Sadie on December 27, 2004 06:10 AMI know where you were coming from, Eric. Hell, even in my piddly-assed job as a Team Lead on the switchboard I had someone who would pull that stuff. She just didn't want to be the one responsible for leaving when she was sick. "Will you send me home?" "Should I stay?" "I think I might not be able to work..." all were just her way of not making the decision herself so she would not be the one who cut staffing or made it so tight that no one could take their breaks because SOMEONE needed to answer the damned phones.
Finally, I just told her "you tell me. I can't sent you home, I'm not your doctor nor do I know how you feel because I'm not in your skin. If you need to leave, tell me. Otherwise, put on your headset and take your calls."
And if I remember, I wasn't entirely gracious in my tone.
Worked.
Bullshitted by Mamamontezz on December 27, 2004 02:45 PM