Bad Sex...

... anyone else see this story?... man, what a slam... heh... poor guy.... I am almost tempted to write some saucy stories for the old blog in honor of it...

"Slither slither slither slither went the tongue," one of his winning sentences begins."

... damn... Tom, old boy... steamy, you aint...

by Eric on December 20, 2004 | Bullshit (13) | Psycho Rants
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Bullshit So Far

So he wanted to sound "clinical?" hmmmm..wonder if he ever asks his ole lady to "spank his gluteus maximus?" That's gotta be hot and steamy..haha..

Bullshitted by Sandy on December 20, 2004 10:21 AM

Okay, now this one had me laughing, almost crying! One of my faves:
"The smell of his armpits was on her shoulders -- a flower depositing pollen on a hummingbird's forehead,"

WTF???!!! Incredibly romantic. Yeah!

Bullshitted by That 1 Guy on December 20, 2004 11:25 AM

Uck. Some people don't deserve to get laid;-)

Bullshitted by Sadie-esque on December 20, 2004 02:17 PM

The old goat should have paid some of those coeds he interviewed to put a pussy whomping on him. I know I would have. Research. Either his prose would have improved or he would have been whimpering in the corner. Maybe both.

Bullshitted by Velociman on December 20, 2004 06:26 PM

Is it just me, or does his picture look like that elf on the Christmas show Rudolf the red nosed reighndeer, Island of the Misfit Toys?

That's not bad sex writin'. That's ain't never had sex writin' and am writin' out my ass about what I'm guessin' it to be like. But, I'll agree, it was bad...

Bullshitted by RedNeck on December 20, 2004 06:40 PM

.. jeez, man.. that is Tom Wolfe.. "Bonfire of the Vanities", and all that...

Bullshitted by Eric on December 20, 2004 06:54 PM

Well, he might be famous and all. I'm just sayin' maybe his good books were about something he knew about. Good lord. I've heard of "talk dirty to me", but some of that, crap... I'd fall asleep like I was a kid in a study hall that stayed up pullin' an all nighter cramin' for a sex ed. test.

And, he still looks like that elf.

Bullshitted by RedNeck on December 20, 2004 07:04 PM

Look, I'm just sayin... A dotted mutant would be more likely to get some then that feller.

Bullshitted by RedNeck on December 20, 2004 07:06 PM

"His mouth looked for the oiled berry."

Now, ya gotta love that one.

So take a look at him, then tell me, could he possibly be David Spade's long lost uncle?

Bullshitted by Key on December 20, 2004 10:02 PM

ha ha ha ha ha *OUCH* fuck fell off the chair that was so fuckin funny!! Poor bastard.

Bullshitted by vee on December 21, 2004 03:07 AM

I think that "slither" line might sound better if spoken slowly, and quietly.

From between a woman's legs.

With pauses for licking.

Bullshitted by Harvey on December 21, 2004 11:22 AM

No doubt, that slither line will show up in the "Love Notes" at Harvey's site sometime soon.

Followed up the next day with the "Oiled Berry" line.

Then the "arm pit pollen" line. The possibilities are endless aren't that Harv?

Eric, I think you've provided Harv' with a load of "Today's Love Note" subject matter for quite a long time.

The comments on those "Love Notes" should be hillarious!


Bullshitted by RedNeck on December 21, 2004 05:27 PM

no and non thine

Bullshitted by fernando ridolme on January 4, 2005 12:43 AM