Scottish Nationalists...

... ahh... the evenings... sitting here chatting.... as you do, you know, after a long day at the office.... Wife reclining on the suede blog-couch with a glass of vino in hand.. me listening intently from the blog-chair to her highly detailed debunking of the day.... when, without warning, a glorious nugget is dropped... a little piece of information that is truly worthy of blogdom...

... you guys remember when I turned jackass, and let my passport expire, right?.... well, ole Wifey told me exactly what to do... "get over there as quick as you can, but I ain't waiting"... now, other men might have been taken aback by such language from their beloveds.... I, on the other hand, thought was great... I mean, just re-read her statement.... "ain't" is not normally in her vocabulary... so, it was uplifting to see her embracing her newly found Hillbilly culture... validation, people.... validation... soon, she will be tipping cows....

... anyway, to cut a long story short, she left without me... yep.... that's right, children... she had an EXTRA week in Ecosse... a full week longer than I enjoyed.... what mischief did she get into while I was across the sea?... what tale of a strange brew did she just divulge whilst draped seductively across my brown suede blog-couch?...

... well, not much, really.... but still, worth commenting about...

... her dear, Sainted Momma had given sizeable donation to the campaign to get Alex Salmond back in SNP politics.... being lefties and Nationalists, they tend to enjoy giving money to Socialists and Hippies... a strange idea, I know... but hey, it's their money.... I have tried to shade them many a time... and suffered the beatdowns that came from it... they are truly entrenched, friends... besides, there is just simply not enough support for the lone evil conservative in that household... still, I always soldier on.... but as the story goes, ole Alex sent a personal letter to the Straight White Mother-in-Law... it read s something like..

... "oh, thank you thank you thank you.... Since you have donated your left kidney a sizeable sum to get me re-elected, we will give you a special gift as a grand, socialist thank-you.... Please choose which SNP member you would like to have personally autograph a bottle of Scotland's finest nectar... Parliament Whisky.. after all, it feels so much better to vote for us after you've had a few..... sure, we make some money on it, but you have to admit.. what a GREAT gimmick, comrade.... "

... well, as if that wasn't bad enough... guess who is on the list, children?... this is so damn depressing, I really don't want to even type it.... Sean friggin Connery... yep.. the Momma-in-Law now has an autographed bottle of booze from The Man....

... so many thoughts are crashing down right now.. so many ideals... I am honestly without recourse... I am crushed... hell, after a few more drinks, I will be inconsolable.... Sean... you magnificent bastard... how could you do this to me?.. and on so MANY different levels... I'll never drink a martini.. nor don a tux without sobbing silently to myself first..

by Eric on November 30, 2004 | Bullshit (11) | Psycho Rants
Bullshit So Far

I gotta tell you sugarplum that Sean friggin Connery is on my list too..you know the list I'm talking about..the list of certain people I can sex with and hubby ain't allowed to get upset about :)

Bullshitted by Sandy on November 30, 2004 07:13 PM

.. damn, baby.. I don't wanna do him.. I just want to stand next to him with a martini, and discuss beating hippies... sheesh... without him yelling "Scotland, the Brave" every second sentence...

Bullshitted by Eric on November 30, 2004 07:17 PM

Ardbeg, my boy, Ardbeg.

Bullshitted by Geoffrey on November 30, 2004 07:45 PM

I agree Eric. Sean, well, he might be doin' us wrong. I like him, but last I checked, if he's registered to vote over there, he ain't registered over here so that's good. We got enough "flakes" to put up with over here.

I don't know what Wesley's(Snipes) aspirations or tendencies are but that was a pretty good movie with Sean, Wesley, and that hella cool "chinese"(I know I probably guessed nationality wrong) chick.(If I remember right, she wore glasses bro').

Send Sean over here, We'll show him. I'm not gonna outdress him, out speak him, or out anything him, but... he will learn that people over here look out for each other without the gubmit having to get involved so much.

Bullshitted by RedNeck on November 30, 2004 08:46 PM

Oh Lord Have Mercy..I know you don't but look here..see what happens to me with just the mere mention of his name! I think I might be havin' a Hot Flash :)

Bullshitted by Sandy on November 30, 2004 10:44 PM

Sean is one of the few men who get better with age, just like good whiskey. We women have trouble separating the way he makes us feel from the political stuff. Are you sure you're not just a little jealous that YOU don't have that bottle?

Bullshitted by Junebugg on December 1, 2004 01:22 AM

... that's part of it, Junebugg...

Bullshitted by Eric on December 1, 2004 07:09 AM

Rumor has it he is buying a house about 15 minutes from me. Just what we need in Palm Beach County... another frickin' liberal. We must have some homing device that brings them all down here...

Bullshitted by Boudicca on December 1, 2004 07:18 AM

I hate to say this, but was it surprising to learn that Sir Sean is a virulent Scottish Nationalist? As I understand it, he was the bankroll for the SNP during the late 70's. I seem to remember reading an old 1970's era interview where he mentioned that the only way he would move back to Scotland was if they left the United Kingdom and kicked the Queen on her arse. Sean normally keeps a low profile on political issues, but he is never shy about talking about a "free" Scotland.

Bullshitted by The Maximum Leader on December 2, 2004 12:39 PM

... nope, Maximum Leader, sir... it wasn't a surprise that he was a SNP supporter... what WAS a surprise is that he autographed my Mother-in-Law's booze... which, of course, sucked... after all those Bond flicks, I thought we'd bonded...

oh, and the Wife just yelled through... "Scotland free or a DESERT!".. (she's watching Braveheart on DVD)...

Bullshitted by Eric on December 2, 2004 05:46 PM

"soon, she will be tipping cows…."

After that comes corning... right? *grin*

Bullshitted by Teresa on December 2, 2004 08:30 PM