Tellico Plains Drifter

We need movie cameras at the next blogfest. We should create a nice cinema verité film. Then we can have the next blogfest in Sundance.

I submit a reworking of High Plains Drifter, just as Fistful of Dollars is Yojimbo. Eric, of course, is the Man With No Game.

Hear me out: Crude drunkards ride into town intent on mayhem. Bullwhips are involved. There is a midget. Women are taken by force. The town is painted red.

Starting to catch my drift?

I have Acidman, Catfish, and Recondo32 cast as the Bridges gang. Aubrey is Mordecai. Zonker is the preacher. The rest will flesh itself out as we work through the rewrites.

I see great potential, so long as no one climbs the lighthouse and screams "The new sheriff is a n****r! Oh. Sorry. Wrong film.

At any rate, as my father used to say when we went out in the boat, "A place for everybody, and everybody in their place!" Of course, he also used to make us "cast off fore and aft" a 17 foot boat.

My point is, we will need key grips, best boys, soundmen, catering, wardrobe, beastmasters, tobacconists, and bail money.

I think we can do this, folks. Do be a freaking Doo Bee, okay?

Oh, me? I'm running the casting couch, nimrods. What were you thinking?

by Velociman on November 08, 2004 | Bullshit (17)
ยป Mirthful Ones links with: Not the Average Morning Tour
Bullshit So Far

Where? WHEN?! Dammit, man. Don't leave a potential Saloon Madam hangin'.

Bullshitted by Queenie on November 8, 2004 10:48 PM

We shall, indeed, need a Miss Kitty type. What is your abuse factor, dear?

Bullshitted by Velociman on November 8, 2004 11:00 PM

Awww. Yer bluffin' said I was getting kidnapped for the recent Blogtoberfest. I waited.

Bullshitted by Sadie on November 8, 2004 11:14 PM

You were supposed to inadvertently e-mail your address to me, Sadie. We drove all over the damned state. Work with me.

Bullshitted by Velociman on November 8, 2004 11:34 PM

You got it V-man!

Bail Money, Big Brown Eyes, and a Smile!

Works every time.


Bullshitted by Christina on November 9, 2004 06:11 AM

I wanna be a beastmaster.
I've been training my whole life for it, ya know. In one way or another.

Bullshitted by LeeAnn on November 9, 2004 10:47 AM

Ouch. If I'm not mistaken I got a behind the scenes gig.

Can't I be a chaps wearin' wild child who shoots toothless ruffians and seduces the priest?

Bullshitted by Key on November 9, 2004 11:27 AM

"Eric the Stranger"... kinda has a ring to it. Do they sell single malt at the saloon? Sounds like you have a blockbuster on your hands - for sure. I wanna know where you're holding auditions for the part of the priest. I've always been a sucker for a lady in chaps.

Bullshitted by Fightin Tiger on November 9, 2004 04:47 PM

Wardrobe? I can do wardrobe. Can we update it and do it Goth/BDSM and set it in a tacky warehouse district? I can get plenty of Leather, and not just for the Beasts.

Can you say "Pony Boy"?

Bullshitted by Mamamontezz on November 9, 2004 05:30 PM

Wardrobe is all yours, Mama. I would like to suggest seeing how Key looks in her half rubber uniform with those chaps. And Eric dressed as Dr. Frank N Furter.

Bullshitted by Velociman on November 9, 2004 06:18 PM

.. in your dreams, Velociman.. you bastard... don't get him started, Mama..

Bullshitted by Eric on November 9, 2004 06:22 PM

My abuse factor? Well, Velociman, it depends on which cowboy is holdin' the reins, dontchaknow.

This is one blogmeet I must attend...

Bullshitted by Queenie on November 9, 2004 10:16 PM

When I'm not doing sound, I can be the stunt drunk.

Bullshitted by Jim - PRS on November 9, 2004 10:20 PM

I can't believe Key didn't pick up she was the only one with a gig in front of the camera and behind it. Hell, darling, that makes you an executive producer.

Bullshitted by Velociman on November 9, 2004 10:50 PM

I'll be your huckeberryTobacconist. If I don't get arrested on the way for polutin' the country side with my menacing butts.

Key, I shouldn't be to hard to "hit".

Jim, when your "stunk drunk" you may literaly be "dog shit stunk drunk" after that mushroom induced comment about "dog shit being organic and all duuuuude". When you wake up smellin' unusually "funny" consider it nature's gift and all ;)

Bullshitted by RedNeck on November 9, 2004 11:01 PM

I'm in. Hell, I've even got a film degree, whatever that's worth, and I've been in a few movies.

Bullshitted by Evilwhiteguy on November 10, 2004 08:12 PM

Just wanted to proclaim my outrage that I wasn't tapped for bail money.

You know damn well I've got more cash laying around than any blogger alive :-P

Bullshitted by Harvey on November 14, 2004 01:33 PM